I should really be working on my KuroBasu fanfictions, but I wanted to post this RP I wrote with my friend…
Ahem, anyway. This is really, really sad and involves character death. I would also like to explain that this is a little bit of an AU roleplay I did with my friend where Eren's lived with the Recon Corps for as long as he can remember, most specifically with Levi. This is a sequel to a previous roleplay we did, said sequel will be posted another time when we finish it.
Warnings: Semi-AU, character death, hints of RiRen
I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin or it's characters and content.
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Promises
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Scrambling over in a hurry like he'd never done before, Eren raced towards the man that lay there, blade piercing his chest. He ignored the limp from having his leg injured from being slammed off his horse by an abnormal at some point. "Corporal!" He cried out, sliding on his knees and leaning over the man to see how he was, even if he already knew the answer.
"Corporal, stay awake, you'll be okay!" Who was he lying to, he knew that no one could survive something like that, not even humanity's strongest soldier, he was only human after all. Raising his hands, he moved them to brush the hair out of the corporal's face, calloused fingertips sliding down to his cheeks before he cupped his face. "Come on, stay strong, w-we need you..!"
He needed him, needed him more than he'd like to admit.
"Please!" Eren's voice seemed to crack at the seams, big emerald eyes filled with fear and anguish, pain and regret. Regret that he couldn't protect Levi. "I-I need you... You promised.." It was barely a whisper, and no one around them could probably hear other than the man it was meant for.
Hunched over, hair hiding most of his face, he scrunched his nose, trying to keep the tears at bay. He failed horribly though, those emeralds turning into waterworks that just wouldn't stop.
The world through his eyes was starting to blur greatly, into shades of clumsily mixed colors which seemed to be dim and light up slightly as each soft, yet weak breath passed his lips. Even though covered by warm blood by none other than his own, his body felt cold-frighteningly so. Breathing hurts, moving even a finger hurts as much-living hurts-it was a difficult situation he had gotten himself into, one he will never be able to reverse. Life was seeping out of him slowly-almost suffocating-ly so. His eyelids was beginning to feel heavy and he had to fight the very urge of closing it, even if it was rather a futile attempt since his impending death was inevitable.
It was a desperate cry of a familiar voice that gave him an invisible strength to keep his eyes open, just for a little while longer. The corporal tried his best focusing on the new sight of the desperate brunette's face that came into the view. Gladness washed over him as the person he was protecting came with little injuries, as did heartbreak and despair of watching the teen make such expressions. The other's hands were warm on his gradually numbing skin, as did the droplets of tears wetting his face.
Levi knew fairly well that he was about to break a small promise-a childish, yet precious one he made with Eren when he was only a small child. He tried opening his dry lips to speak, but only a raspy whisper came out, almost inaudible to his own ears. His senses were dying all too hastily for his own liking, but he still moved his hand up-at the same time shifting his body impaled to the ground, which made him hiss in great pain- and brushed it slightly against the soldier's wet cheek before wiping his eye of the salty liquid.
"Didn't I-tell you back then...to not..cry again?"
He hated this. Hated so much to see the person he admired, adored, worshipped like this, on the verge of life and death. The tears that had started sliding down his cheeks, raining down on the face he was holding, caressing lightly with his thumbs. A strangled cry left his throat as Eren leaned into the touch, one of his hands raising to grasp the fragile man beneath him. He leaned forward, carefully pressing their foreheads together so he could at least still feel the familiar warmth of the other man. The warmth that used to be there was barely there though, replaced with an eerie cold, like all life was slowly draining from Levi.
Eren wanted to remove the blade, pull it out and somehow fix the injuries, but he knew it was impossible. Removing the blade would only result in the bleeding worsening, Levi's lifespan shortening by the second. Although he didn't want him to suffer any more, he also didn't want him to go. The brunette was in conflict with himself on that, but soon he was torn from his inner turmoil as he heard that soft and weak voice. The grip he had on Levi's hand tightened, face scrunching up even more, willing himself to stop crying, but the tears just seemed to come out all the more.
"I-I know, sir.." He mumbled between sniffles, biting down on his lower lip to escape the breakdown slowly approaching him. He remembered that promise, remembered that he had been crying, fearing that Levi was going to die when he was younger. It had been a mission, and barely anyone made it back alive without damage. Of course Eren knew the man was strong, but to see him injured like that had him crying like a little child, clinging to Levi like his life depended on it, continuously muttering 'Please don't leave me, don't go!'. Back then the tears didn't stop either, not until he had promised that he wouldn't cry like that again, like Levi had told him.
He had already broken two promises, knowing fully well that another chain of promises were going to be broken sooner or later. He'd promised never to cry like that again, especially not over Levi; that one was broken. He'd promised to protect him, even if he'd been a child when he promised that, it still mattered to him; that one was also broken. And now he was here with the older man who was about to breathe his last breath, about to die in his arms and breaking the promise he'd held onto for as long as he could remember. "Y-Y... You're going to break it.. Huh? ... That promise..." He somehow managed to murmur between hiccups and sniffles, gaze torn away from Levi. He didn't want to see him like that, didn't want the other to see how much he hurt and how much that one promise had meant so much to him.
It still did.
His already weak breaths were starting to get stuck in his throat, driving him towards the edge of death mercilessly. But still he tried to keep calm and breathe-as difficult as it was with his heart being torn silently by the heart-wrenching sight before him. The brunette's warm forehead pressing against his numbing ones were assuring-that he was not dreaming, that this was no illusion or nightmare. That it was the harsh reality he was facing. Just before the moments of the end of his life, he had to face the despair he bestowed upon the person he cherished most, his reaction-and his words. It was almost worse than dying slowly, as guilt burdened on his back.
He wished deeply in his heart for himself to live-to survive-to disregard this very day as another battle he had to retreat from. He would offer his pride and ego-everything for it. Alas, it was already too late. What has been done, cannot be undone. What struck him as despairing was how much hurt he had done to the poor teen before him, how he had make him re-experience the feeling of loss of a precious person. The corporal loved the boy more than a brother who cherished and loved his younger sibling, a teacher who loved his students, a mother loving her own child-in short, Levi deemed the Eren as his most cherished person in his life, and it hurts- it hurts all too much to see the boy like this.
The man has broken many promises he made with the teen when he was just a child in a matter of seconds-which made him grit his teeth weakly in frustration, at his incompetence. How could this have happened? How did things escalate so quickly? How could he break such a great amount of promises he had taken pride of? He began to feel the vanity in his shortening life, triggering all sorts of emotions in his heart to cluster, to throb in pain. But still, tears would not come out, even with the forlornness tearing at his heart-perhaps in his last moments, he would still want to appear as a strong individual to Eren?
Listening to the other's words emphasized the guilt growing inside him, despairing him much than before. He felt miserable for being helpless, so powerless to prevent it from happening-to stop this very life from escaping his grasp. The raven haired man nodded weakly in response, his expression never changing as did his voice. Though it had been raspy at first, it was gradually softening, his volume slowly tuning down as all life force was stripped away from him. The physical injury was not the only one tearing life out of him-the pain, the hurt he received emotionally and mentally was slowly telling him to let go of the last thread, the last lifeline he was holding onto. As out of character it was, Levi wished to beg for forgiveness from the younger one, scream and cry for all the hurt he could not undone, offer his life to atone for his sins to Eren rather to waste it on such an unfortunate event.
"Aa.. Forgive me-.." The words were stuck in his throat for a moment, and it took another to get them out, along with a trickle of blood passing his lips as he spoke in a form of a whisper. The corporal himself knew that his time was almost up, as the thin thread of life he was holding onto was about to snap, and he had to deliver his last words with haste, in fear he would not be able to tell them to the other ever-again.
"As painful as the hurt I cannot undo-I'll atone for-...it...one day.
...Now..let me..sleep for a while...since ...I'm.. a bit ...tired.
I'll see you later, Eren.
...
...
..."
Then there was nothing but silence hanging in the air.
The feeling of dread suddenly came over Eren, he knew where this was going, knew very well how it was to watch someone die. He'd seen it happen too many times, with too many people he cared for. As if it wasn't already bad enough to see bodies drop whenever they went out on missions.
His heart was beating fast in his chest, faster and faster as he felt Levi's heartbeat slow down. This was too much, he couldn't just let go of him, he didn't want to let go of Levi. And though not even together like maybe he'd hoped, what he'd wished for, he didn't want that promise to be broken. They'd practically sworn it, at least that's always what he thought a pinky promise meant. He'd sworn by his life, to the king even, his fist pressed to his heart. But the oath he'd taken, the promise he'd made, it was broken at that very moment. He'd failed protecting the man he'd considered an older brother, a mentor, a parent.. The person whom his whole heart went out to.
The tears in his eyes grew, the sobs he'd tried to hold back coming out loud and clear, anyone around them could tell he was a broken mess. "S-Stop talking.. Please!" He cried, body trembling as he tried to speak, tried to let those words sink in. He didn't want Levi to feel guilty for something they both couldn't keep, Eren was just as much guilty. It broke his heart over again, but this time the pieces wouldn't be lined up and put back together like the first time. It was just too fragile now and he doubted it'd ever be pieced back together, some of the pieces staying with this man he held close to him.
Every injury he'd ever had, they didn't compare to the pain in his chest he was feeling now. The pain that made him want to cry out in vain, because he wasn't going to be getting the man back as he spoke his last dying words. He shook his head, there was no way this was happening, not to Levi, not to him. They weren't going to lose humanity's strongest, not today. The only person he was lying to was himself though, perhaps they won today's battle, but in his heart, in his mind and in his soul Eren had lost his biggest battle ever, the most important one.
He tried to smile through the heavy tears that blurred his vision, leaning up to press his lips to the corporal's forehead. It was a gesture his mom used whenever he was upset, a gesture that Levi had used too when he was younger. It hurt to do it, but he had to, the need to tell Levi that it was okay, that he was forgiven so strong, but it was so hard to find the words, words that probably wouldn't be heard by the man he'd held so close to his heart.
Swallowing the lump in his throat that had grown in size as time passed, Eren brushed a couple of strands away from Levi's forehead, tears still staining his cheeks, eyes red and his sight blurry. "I-It's.. oka- Shit.." Eren looked away for a moment before his gaze turned back to Levi's, a hand caressing his cheek. "May..be... In the n-next life... M-Maybe we'll meet a-again.." He whispered against pale lips, wiping away the blood that stained Levi's lips. His skin was pale and cold like porcelain.
"Sleep.. I-I'll marry you in another life time..."
The tears had ceased for a moment, but as soon as he'd spoken those words, the brunette broke down, fully aware that the man lying there was no longer among them. He'd been brave, trying to protect his squad and his junior, like a good corporal. Eren pulled Levi's own impaled blade out, pulling his body into his arms, close to his own chest before he wailed, fingers clutching the other man's bloody shirt tight. He moved back and forth, no longer hiding his sadness, his anger, his pain from the world.
It'd taken hours to get Eren away from Levi, he refused to let go of him, refused to do anything. He wouldn't budge from his spot, softly crying into a cold shoulder.
This time he'd make a promise he'd keep, he'd destroy all those titans, take revenge for taking what shouldn't have been taken away. And if he died while doing so, he knew he'd be reunited with him.
With that on his mind, he finally let go.
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I feel terrible for posting this.. LOL. Ahem, anyway, as you can guess, the promise Levi made to Eren was that Eren was made when Eren was a lot younger and asked Levi to promise him that Eren could be his wife when he grew up.
I'm sorry for posting such angst, don't kill me. orz
