Take My Hand - Part 1
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Take My Hand - Part 1
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You've gotta take my hand
And lead me to where you are
You know I'll follow
To show me the way to your heart
Think you've locked your heart away
Baby, I hold the key
Believe me when I say
My love can set you free
~Sara Evans, Show Me the Way to Your Heart
"Are
you sure? He never gets sick."
Fighting
the overwhelming impulse to grab Hasukawa by the shoulders and shake him until
some semblance of sense fell into place in the puzzle box of his mind, Mitsuru
massaged his aching eyeballs.
Taking
a deep, calming breath, he counted backwards from ten in his head, desperately
seeking that calm, happy place he so longed to be in.
"I
know that. You know that. Everybody seems to know that, except for
him. So why don't you just march right on in there and tell him to his face that
he can't possibly be sick?"
"Uhhh..."
Placing
his hands on his hips, Mitsuru scowled at the shorter boy, violet eyes narrowed.
"Well?"
Hasukawa
stared up at Mitsuru, his mind racing as he scrambled for a suitable reply.
"I...er...that
is... Oh geez, look at the time. I gotta go!"
With
those oh so brave words, Hasukawa Kazuya turned tail and ran, leaving Mitsuru
standing in the hallway outside his room gaping after the redhead in
astonishment.
"Huh.
Never thought he'd try that trick. He's finally learning." Mitsuru
muttered to himself, feeling a strange sort of pride in the dense redhead.
And
then he heard the sound that had caused him no end of misery for the past two
days:
"Mitsuruuuu!"
Closing
his eyes, Mitsuru murmured a calming mantra to himself.
"I
will not kill my best friend. I will not kill my best friend. I will not kill my
best friend. I will not -"
The
silvery tinkle of a bell broke his concentration, and suddenly the thought of
homicide didn't seem quite so appalling. Certainly, the judge would go easy on
him...what was that term again? Mitigating circumstances...
The
sound of a lung-clearing cough reached his ears, and Mitsuru's expression
softened, a small smile crossing his face.
Oh, what
the hell. He took care of me when I was sick, and that couldn't
have been a walk in the park either.
"Mitsuruuuu!"
Then
again, if Shinobu happened not to survive...
Sighing,
Mitsuru reluctantly walked into his room, wincing inwardly at the wretched sight
that greeted him.
Shinobu
sat in the middle of the room, completely swathed in the warmest blankets they
had. He sniffled pitifully as he looked up at Mitsuru. The floor was all but
covered by used tissues, wadded up into tiny little balls.
Sitting
on the floor next to him, in seeming innocence, was the thrice-damned tool of
the devil.
A tiny,
silver-plated bell.
Where
Shinobu had gotten it was a mystery to Mitsuru, although he knew better than to
ask.
Trying
not to think of all the billions upon billions of germs inhabiting each tissue
ball, Mitsuru inched his way through the mess to sit beside Shinobu.
Blinking
slowly up at the blonde, Shinobu was the very picture of abject misery. His eyes
were red-rimmed and puffy, lacking their usual malevolent gleam. His nose was
red and raw-looking from blowing it so often, and his hair was a disheveled
mess.
Stifling
a sigh, Mitsuru had to admit the silver-haired boy was definitely...adorable
like this. With his guard down, there was none of the icy cool that Shinobu was
so famed for. None of that silly inaccessibility he worked so hard at
cultivating to get in the way.
In
fact, he looked almost...well, kissable.
Mitsuru
ducked his head so the other boy wouldn't see the blush that had bloomed on his
cheeks. Bad enough that he thought his roommate was attractive, but if Shinobu
ever found out...
"What
did you want, Shinobu?"
Pleased
that his voice didn't betray him, Mitsuru picked at a loose thread at the cuff
of his pants. It gave him something else to focus on instead of Shinobu's
alluring gray-green eyes, or the delicately sculpted cheekbones, or his -
Shinobu
sneezed violently, breaking him out of his decidedly intimate thoughts. Mitsuru
squeezed his eyes shut, biting his bottom lip as he desperately tried to think
of the most hideous thing he could to derail that train of thought. Nothing
immediately came to mind. All he could think of was how soft Shinobu's lips
would feel against his, the way -
"Mitsuru,
I - "
His
eyes snapped open as Shinobu's voice sounded inches from his ear, and he
suddenly noticed that the other boy was leaning heavily on him - far too
close for his own comfort.
Scrambling
backwards as fast as he could on his hands and knees, Mitsuru winced as Shinobu
lost his balance and toppled forward, sprawling flat out on his face in an
undignified heap.
Ooooh...he's
not going to forget that any time soon.
Reflexively,
Mitsuru was already edging towards the safety of the doorway, not wanting to be
anywhere Shinobu just then. If there was one thing the silver-haired boy hated
more than getting sick, it was being embarrassed.
He
was within an arms length of the doorway, when he heard something that made him
stop where he stood. Cocking his head to hear better, Mitsuru's eyes widened
slightly as he caught what sounded suspiciously like a sniffle.
It
could have just have been Shinobu's cold - it was really the only reasonable
explanation - but somehow, Mitsuru knew that wasn't it. The years he'd known
Shinobu had taught him a little of how the other boy worked, and something about
him lately was wrong.
Sighing,
Mitsuru squared his shoulders and waded through the used tissues, kneeling
beside Shinobu. Tilting his head to the side, Mitsuru's lips quirked into a
small smile. He could just barely see Shinobu's lips moving, although whatever
he was saying was too quiet for him to hear. It was cute, in a way.
"Here,
Shinobu. Let me help you."
Shinobu
offered no resistance as the blonde managed to get him into a more or less
upright position, although he didn't seem likely to stay that way. Gritting his
teeth and telling his hormones that now was not the time, Mitsuru pulled
Shinobu up against him, supporting the other boy's weight.
They
sat like that for a long moment, just listening to the sound of each other's
breathing; Mitsuru's smooth and even, and Shinobu's labored and a bit ragged on
the edges.
"I
hate this."
Mitsuru
blinked, jolted from his thoughts by the venom in Shinobu's voice. He felt
something inside him twist, and he started to push away from the other boy, when
he felt a hand latch onto his forearm.
Startled,
he looked askance at his roommate, who was scowling mightily at the floor
between his feet. Shinobu's grip on his arm loosened until it was a comforting
warmth.
"I
hate being so helpless. I hate having to depend on other people for every little
thing like this, and I hate being sick!"
The
ache in Mitsuru's chest eased, although the memory of it was still fresh in his
mind. A wistful smile found its way to his lips, as he resettled into his
original position.
"Is
it really so bad, Shin? Having somebody else looking after you for once?"
With
Shinobu reclining against him, Mitsuru felt the other boy's twitch of dismay.
Frowning, he unconsciously tightened his hold on Shinobu, offering what comfort
he could.
"I
just...I just don't like not being in control of things, Mitsuru."
Ahhh...so that's it, ne? Should have
known.
"It'll
get along without you, you know." He said softly, fighting the nearly
overwhelming urge to run his fingers through the tangled mass of hair right in
front of him.
"What
will?" Shinobu asked curiously, suspicion tingeing his voice.
"The
world. You don't have to be in control every little second, Shinobu."
"So
you say."
Mitsuru
smiled a little at Shinobu's belligerence. Other people called it strength of
character, but he knew it for what it really was: stubbornness.
"Oh,
really? Then how do explain how the world got along perfectly fine before you
happened on the scene?"
"Reincarnation."
"Reincarnation?"
"Yes."
"Tell
me, Shinobu, how many past lives have you had?" Mitsuru inquired, trying
not to let his smile show in his voice.
"That's
not the point." Shinobu informed him snippily.
"Then
what is?"
"The
point is," Shinobu began, enunciating his words carefully as though he were
speaking to a very dimwitted child, "is that I can't allow myself to get
sick. Let alone wallow in sloth, like some others I could mention."
Rolling
his eyes, Mitsuru sighed. Really. Was there no getting through to him? Shinobu
couldn't possibly be that mule headed...could he?
"Fine.
Whatever you say, Shinobu. The world is going to collapse if you're not there to
oversee everything. The heavens would fall, the mountains would crumble, and it
would be just one really big mess without you. Are you happy now?"
Quietly,
but filled with an undeniable note of smugness: "Yes."
Mitsuru
sighed to himself, wondering how in the holy hells he'd ever managed to fall in
love with someone as painfully stubborn and inscrutable as Tezuka Shinobu.
The
soft, regular breathing from the boy leaning against him was no help either -
Shinobu had fallen asleep.
I
hope you appreciate what I do for you, Shinobu.
Mitsuru thought, sighing in a martyred way, a tad bit miffed that he was
- once again - being used as a cushion.
But
damned if he was going to lose all feeling in his legs because there was an
impossibly beautiful boy sleeping on him. Shifting his position carefully, so as
not to wake Shinobu, Mitsuru made himself as comfortable as he could.
Considering the circumstances.
Shinobu
slumbered on, unaware of the slender fingers threading gently through his hair
as Mitsuru gave in to his earlier desire to touch the silky softness, a small
smile on his lips.
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"Come on,
get up."
There
were two parts of him that recognized that voice. The first, and definitely less
lucid of the two mumbled something undoubtedly rude, but it came out as nothing
louder than an irritated grumble. The second, slightly more awake part of him
wanted nothing so much as to simply lay there, pressed against the warmth of the
body at his back.
"Shinobu,
I'm giving you to the count of three, and then I'm dumping your uncooperative
butt on the floor."
Gray-green
eyes slitted open, sleep hazed and unfocused. Shinobu turned his head slightly
in order to get a glimpse of Mitsuru's face.
"What?"
"Well
we can't just stay like this all night. I am not sleeping on the floor
again, Shinobu. Come on, I'll help you up."
Shinobu's
gaze flicked to the window, his eyes widening imperceptively. It was full dark
out, and judging from the muffled snores coming through from either side of
their dorm room walls, everyone else had gone to sleep long ago.
How
long was I asleep? And why on earth didn't Mitsuru wake me sooner? He couldn't
have been comfortable like that...
A
hand, which was attached to a rather well muscled arm, suddenly appeared in
Shinobu's field of vision. Following the appendage upwards, he saw Mitsuru
smiling down at him, his eyes glittering with amusement.
"I
think maybe we should cut your medicine dosage down - you seem a little out of
it."
Glaring at his smirking roommate, Shinobu
accepted the offered aid, grunting a little as Mitsuru effortlessly pulled him
to his feet. Resenting the hell out of it, Shinobu allowed the blonde to tow him
along behind him, his eyelids already beginning to droop.
Stopping
at the bunk bed, Mitsuru turned to Shinobu and frowned slightly, his violet eyes
troubled. Shinobu was about to ask him what the problem was, when Mitsuru placed
his hand on the center of his chest, fingers spread, and gave him a gentle push.
Unsteady
on his feet, Shinobu fell backwards, his eyes locked on his roommate's face.
Flinching inwardly, he expected the back of his skull to connect with the bottom
on Mitsuru's bunk, only to realize that Mitsuru's hand was there, guiding him on
the way down, protecting him from harm.
Once
his body made contact with the soft mattress, Shinobu's eyes slid shut of their
own accord as sleep beckoned with its sweet siren call. Wriggling a little to
make himself comfortable, his eyes popped open as he felt the light weight of a
blanket being drawn over him. And then another one. And another. And another,
until he could no longer feel the faint chill in the room.
"There,
all comfy and cozy?" Mitsuru asked, a peculiar little smirk on his face as
he tucked the silver-haired boy into bed.
"You're
enjoying this, aren't you."
Mitsuru's
eyebrows vanished into his hairline as he gave his roommate one of his patented
'who, me?' looks.
"We
definitely need to lower the dosage. You're starting to sound paranoid,
Shinobu."
Snorting
disdainfully, or trying to - damn his clogged sinuses - Shinobu rolled over as
best he could, cocooned within the blankets as he was, turning his back on
Mitsuru and his irritatingly cheerful grin.
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Mitsuru lay awake for
some time after he'd climbed into his own bed, staring at the ceiling above him,
and trying to pin down the exact moment he'd fallen for his roommate. A
kaleidoscope of memories blurred at the edges, but never completely forgotten,
and never truly appreciated until they were gone.
Che,
what does it matter? Not like anything's ever going to come of it. Best to
forget it all and move on.
But
still, there was that nagging little something within him that just
wouldn't go away. The ever annoying 'what if?' that had plagued man since the
beginning of time. The 'what if?' didn't deal in optimism or pessimism, but
rather it dwelled in that hard to find middle ground, neutral territory, until
someone chose to take that last step and reach for it.
So
what if I decide to make the first move? What if something happens between us?
What if I ruin our friendship because of it? What if...
Sighing,
Mitsuru closed his eyes and rolled onto his side, the soft sound of snoring
drifting upwards. He was tired, and he was only going over old ground, familiar
territory, with that line of thought. And it was getting him nowhere fast.
If
wishes were fishes...
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The next
morning, not unexpectedly, dawned bright and early, and along with it was one
decidedly overly chipper blonde boy.
"Come
on, Shinobu...you know you have to take your medicine. I know it tastes bad, but
that means it has to be good for you, ne?"
Biting
back an unfairly harsh reply, Shinobu burrowed deeper into his blankets until he
was completely covered. Out of sight, out of mind...or something to that effect.
"Oi,
you're not making this easy on me, you know. This hurts me more than it does
you. It's not like - "
"Mitsuru,
if you so much as utter another trite cliché, I will make sure you regret
it."
"Shinobu,
you're acting like a child! Just take your medicine like a man."
Hidden
deep within the little caverns formed by his blankets, Shinobu's eyes narrowed
dangerously. No one dared call Tezuka Shinobu a child and got away with it.
Especially not someone who'd dared to wake him from a decidedly pleasant dream
and then proceeded to spout hackneyed clichés at him in a non-stop stream. By
all that was holy, Mitsuru was going to pay.
As soon
as he could untangle himself from the damnable mess of twisted blankets wrapped
around him like the grasping tentacles of an insane octopus.
"Shinobu...are
you stuck?"
That's
it, Ikeda. Laugh it up while you can.
"Mmmrphgh."
"Do
you need help?" Mitsuru asked sweetly, "Because if you do, you know
all you have to do is ask for help."
Shinobu
went still at those words, his eyes widening a little. He knew he was hopelessly
entangled in his blankets, but it galled him to have to admit to needing help.
Call it a quirk, a hang-up, but the thought of actually asking someone else for
help - even Mitsuru - made him feel...exposed? No. More like...vulnerable. And
being vulnerable meant you could be hurt, and he didn't want that.
Unaware
of his roommate's internal dilemma, Mitsuru shot an impatient glance at the desk
clock. He had to be honest with himself - there was really only so much he could
do.
"Fine.
Have it your way, Shinobu. I have class in ten minutes and I don't want to be
late, so I guess I'll see you later."
Placing
Shinobu's cold medicine on the desk, he bent to pick up his book bag, and paused
as he heard what sounded suspiciously like muttered cursing coming from the
Shinobu-sized lump on the bottom bunk.
"I'll
have Hasukawa check in on you later for me. I'll see you after classes,
Shinobu."
It
must have been the devil that put those words in his mouth, because Mitsuru knew
it sure as hell wasn't him.
Shinobu's
eyes widened at the thought of Hasukawa finding him helplessly tangled up in his
bedding. He struggled wildly for a moment before subsiding as he realized he was
well and truly ensnared in the blankets. His shoulders drooped and his eyes
sagged shut.
"Help?"
The
resigned, almost defeated tone in that one word tugged at Mitsuru's heartstrings
like nothing else could. Moving over to the bed, He examined the snarl of
blankets thoughtfully, violet eyes narrowed. Leaning down, he grabbed hold of
the corner of a dark blue comforter and tugged. Discarding it to the side as it
came free, Mitsuru carefully worked on the rest of the blankets until only one
remained.
"There.
That wasn't so hard, now was it?" He asked cheerfully, mindful of Shinobu's
dinged pride.
"I
thought you said you had class this morning?"
Mitsuru
smiled and sat down on the bed next to Shinobu, who pulled the blanket down to
level an annoyed glare at him.
"Oh
that? Some things are more important, you know." Mitsuru said airily,
shrugging casually.
"Now
take your medicine like a good boy, or I'll tell Hasukawa what happened. You
know he'd have a good laugh over that."
"You
fight dirty."
Getting
up to get the medicine, Mitsuru glanced over his shoulder and winked cheekily.
"What
do you expect? I learned from the best."
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TBC...^_^