Wings of Shards
By Monkan

Warnings: Death, angst/heartbreak, blood, slash, implied mpreg.
Pairing: Apollonius/Toma, Apollonius/Celiane
Disclaimer: I don't own Sousei no Aquarion nor any of the characters.

Full Summary: They had been together for eternity. They had grown up together, they had loved together, they had created life together, and now, because of one mortal woman, he had lost everything. Toma and Apollonius had been engaged and soon to be bound when the woman came into their life. Toma is devastated to have lost his love to a mortal. But at least he has a child growing inside him from their joined feather. That is... until his ruler gives him an ultimatum to make Apollonius suffer. His whole world is broken into shards.

A/N: I'm a little surprised that yaoi fans hasn't jumped Toma yet since he's everything you could ask for. Oh, well. I don't particularly like this show since all the uniting mecha scenes are like orgies of orgasms, I laughed my ass off, but I do like Toma and his tortured love for Apollonius. So I finally thought, "ah, what the heck" and here is a one-shot. It's angsty, it's short, and it's dark. Be warned. This is not a happy story by any means. Maybe some time I will write him a happy story since I think he deserves it, he's suffered for 24.000 years after all. If you have no clue about Toma then you can get a quick re-cap on his life in Aquarion EVOLep. 23 & 26. If you want even more details then go to Sousei no Aquarion. Let me know what you think.

~ Toma's Garden ~

The white angel was resting among his creations. A garden so full of life that it would make any planet jealous and blush in embarrassment. His white feathery hair was spread out over the ground in a rare moment of weakness.

Normally angels didn't touch the ground so they never took a life, but Toma was so tortured that it didn't even register in his mind. It was considered dirty to walk on earth and a stained angel was a fallen angel.

But that was what he was feeling.

His love. His one and only love which he had spent millenniums with had abandoned him. They had traveled over space, seen scenes even their kind would envy, created places of pure beauty, they had created life no mortal could do. They had loved each other. They had cared for each other. Beyond what their race was capable of.

At least that's what he thought.

Until Apollonius had seen that mortal woman. Toma curled into himself even tighter at the thought of the woman. All it had taken was one look and he had lost his Apollonius to a mortal woman.

A Mortal Woman.

He had thought it was just fleeting interest, but when his burning angel left their world to be and fight with his woman it had broken Toma's soul.

Everything they had been. Everything they would have become at their unity ceremony in another decade was thrown away.

Just as their time had meant everything to Toma, it had meant nothing to Apollonius.

He cried. Bitter tears. The pure drops of his pain soaked into the earth and the flowers around him quivered at his pain and bloomed even more beautiful. If his tears hadn't been so full of life, the plants would have shriveled up and died.

His hands folded over his stomach. He could barely feel the presence in his mind. A creation so small and new that even Apollonius didn't know about it. It had been the day before Apollonius had met and left with the mortal woman that their feathers had mingled and created a new life. A child would be born from their union and brought up in shame for its father's actions.

It was an unusual creation because they normally didn't carry their young themselves. They all came from the Tree of Life. So for him carrying this life was a miracle.

It would be a reminder of what Toma's life had been. A reminder of his love. His fiery angel with hair of fire and wings like the sun.

And still, he couldn't help but love his child. It was so small that he wanted to protect it. It was so innocent from the world that it didn't know about the pain he felt. It was a blessing.

Because if he didn't have this child inside him at this moment then his heartbreak would cause him to die.

He would love this child no matter what happened.

"Lord Toma? You are being summoned."

Toma opened his eyes to see the levitating angel over him. Long robed that hide all features except the mouth and hands.

"I'll be there."

"What did you say?" Toma asked as gently he could without sounding desperate. "Apollonius had been found?"

"Yes." the angel in front of him said. It was huge, dressed in long dark blue coat and a big iron helmet with only a long opening for the eyes. "He will soon be brought here to be judged."

Toma couldn't find his words. He would see Apollonius once again. He would see him.

"That's why I summoned you." The leader said. "To teach Apollonius a lesson. He had dishonored not only himself and our race. He has dishonored you and your child."

All blood drained from Toma. "How...?"

"I'm much older than you, child. I do not wear this helmet for fun, but my appearance is so old that unless I hide I will not be able to lead those who worship beauty. Sensing your child was as easy as breathing." The angel didn't take a single step forward but it felt like the room was shrinking. "While every child that is born to us is precious, I'm afraid that this can not be this time."

Toma's hands shielded his stomach while taking a scared step back. "What are you saying?"

"To just kill his woman and cast him out wouldn't teach him anything. Apollonius would still not know what his actions had caused. All the deaths. All the pain. He's too blinded by his love for the mortal woman to even see you anymore."

"Please stop." Toma begged in a small voice. But he wasn't heeded.

"There are others who have lost their loved ones who will demand retribution. Apollonius may pay for his crimes now, but when they find out that you are carrying the child of the angel who killed their partners and children, they will demand its life. Even if you are the caretaker of the Tree of Life, making you a holy being, you can not protect this child. Apollonius will be long gone and you will be left to deal with the pain once again. He will not know what has come to pass."

"Please stop." Toma screamed.

He knew it. He knew deep down that others would demand his child as guilty as Apollonius. The seed of Apollonius was now cursed. Any child his love had would be condemned and outcast.

"If you fight for this child you will be cast out. You will not be able to hide from us. You can not live among humans. You are too different. Both of you will be. Even if you do manage to hide, what kind of life for your child will that be? It will know nothing but you. Nothing but your pain for your struggling life. You may die when humans find you, or your child may die from any of the dangers. And that is only if you manage to give birth to this child. You know that it will demand both its parents energy when still a fetus and if it notice one is lacking then you will lose it."

Toma raised his face, tears streaming from his face as he already had figured out what was asked of him. He simply wished that somehow he was wrong.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked in a broken voice. His body shaking.

"You will have one chance. One chance to have Apollonius return to us. To you. If you can no longer persuade him then you have to end your child in front of him."

A knife floated to Toma and he stared at it for a long time.

"Think carefully, Toma." The leader said. "I know you will always love Apollonius but there is no future for your child unless he stands beside you. Only he can protect you from the wrath of our people."

"And if he doesn't do it-"

"-You will end your child. It will be more merciful. Sadly, it's also your duty as his twin soul to carry our his execution."

"I know." Toma whispered. "I know." he took the blade.

Toma stood in front of Apollonius with a long blade in his hand in front of him. The knife hidden in his sleeve. No one else were there. Apollonius was nailed to a cross, his wings sealed against the cross which didn't let him any chance to escape.

Toma's hand gripped harder on the handle before he raised his tired eyes to Apollonius. He was tired. He was worn out. Everything that he was had been violated, everything that he would be would be torn apart. Either way, he would lose his child.

"Will you not return to me?" he gave his love a pleading look. "Please."

Apollonius didn't answer. He just stared at the broken form that had once been his lover. The weariness around the purple eyes.

Toma's eyes searched through Apollonius' in hope of finding a spark of anything in them. There was only the stubbornness he had once adored, the love that was no longer directed at him, but also something that told him he was touching something in Apollonius. Something of the angel he had once known.

He couldn't keep his hand from shaking, the thought of killing both his child and his lover was unbearable. It was just brutality to keep his tears at bay, if there were any more. Never before had his garden looked so beautiful at the expense of his pain. At his tears.

Then it all changed.

There were a sound of something hitting the ground behind him and when Toma turned around he saw two other of his fellow angels standing over the body of the mortal woman.

"Celiane." yelled Apollonius, breaking his heart just a little bit more. The desperation. The love.

"Apollonius." she screamed back.

Don't say his name. Just don't use it. No one but him could call that name. No one but him.

Then the woman had the guts to insult her captor. He watched the raised sword which would end her life but it was the scream and sound of ripping flesh that caught his ears over anything else. In a flurry of feathers Apollonius tore free from his bonds and shielded his woman.

Horror struck through Toma. Behind him on the cross was a pair of crucified wings. Apollonius' wings. Blood dripped down the red haired angel's back. Two open wounds gaping at him.

Tiny sounds escaped Toma's lips as he stared at the scene while a small winged hound came forward and whined at its masters body.

He knew he had lost Apollonius.

"IS THAT HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HER?" Toma screamed, swinging his blade in a wide arc.

Then he cut the tip of his sword into the ground, causing Apollonius to look at him to see what he would do.

Toma could see the fear in his eyes. Fear of what his spurned lover would do to his woman. It didn't matter anymore. Where once a beating heart had once pumped blood through his whole body, there was only a black hole sucking everything in.

Apollonius would never return to him.

He reached into his sleeve to retrieve the knife and when he brought it out he didn't hesitate to think or consider. There were nothing left. His child wouldn't survive. And a dark part of him wanted Apollonius to suffer what he had suffered.

He drove the knife into his stomach, piercing through the skin and he felt the moment he hit his child. The agony that wasn't his own, the denial of being killed, the pain of being killed. He had just killed a part of himself.

Blood dripped down his body as his hands clutched the knife. Pain coursed through him but the hurt in his body was nothing compared to the pain of his heart and soul.

With a grunt he pulled the knife out and threw it toward Apollonius while new tears streamed down his face. Tears born from the lost of a life.

One of his hands clutched at his stomach and he bit his lip through the pain, but he remained standing.

He knew from the look of horror on Apollonius face that he had felt their child in its final moments too. So had his fellow angels done too. Now his secret was known and gone forever. The life inside him long gone and all that remained was to remove it from his body.

With his hand and clothes covered in blood he stared at Apollonius with all the hurt, betrayal, pain and sorrow he had felt.

"This is your fault, Apollonius. Yours alone."

Then it all went black in front of his eyes. The last thing he remember seeing was the look on Apollonius face. A look that mirrored his own soul.

The next time he woke up he knew Apollonius was gone. Not from the look on the angel beside him, or that he had been gone for what was most likely hours. But by the hole in his mind.

"Apollonius has gone with that harlot." he said without asking for an answer.

His body would heal. His heart would mend. His soul would go on. His memories would continue.

This was not the end.

But why did it hurt so much?

Why... did he still love Apollonius?

The End