AN: Written for HedwigBlack's Weeky Challenge: The History of Love with the quote: 'There are two types of people in the world: those who prefer to be sad among others, and those who prefer to be sad alone.' and the prompts: laughter, hint, fake, shoulder, shatter and cringe.
Dedicated to LunaAlyxandra who helped me with the title!
Also this had been looked over my beta HyperCaz because it had too much SPaG mistakes. Much love to her!
Theodore Nott was one of the few people that admitted with his actions that he liked being alone. He didn't belong in Draco's gang. Theo thought it was silly to belong in a gang with the sole purpose of pleasing Draco. Theodore had grown up with him and he didn't particularly fancy the idea of being Draco's elf. That was why Malfoy respected him and never questioned him about not being part of the gang.
And Theodore wasn't like Blaise, who was the only Slytherin to actually be on civil terms with the the students of the other houses and the other schools. Theodore wasn't a man-whore like Zabini. He actually respected his body and blood, enough to never mingle with or shag half-bloods or half-breeds or worse – a mudblood. Theo definitely wasn't like Draco or Blaise. Nor was he like the baboons Goyle and Crabbe, who unfortunately were the lapdogs of Draco and had no brains, a consequence of breeding within their own families and with poor purebloods.
Theodore admitted he was a loner, a stranger. And he loved that about himself. He could drift in and out without anybody noticing him and linger in the shadows as he gazed at Lovegood, the eccentric girl from Ravenclaw. His green eyes took her in as she skipped to the Great Hall, white blonde hair bouncing, making the scent of cinnamon enter his nostrils. She moved so delicately as if her small feet were stepping on small blossoms that made her float. Her wide dreamy blue eyes looked at him for a moment as she sat down at the Ravenclaw table, facing him.
Her knowing smile was only for him; it was like they were sharing an intimate lunch, just the two of them.
Seeing the world from his eyes was much better than seeing it from someone else's.
He liked to belong to himself – that was why he was having second thoughts about becoming a Death Eater. The Dark Lord would come back very, very soon, his father had told him. And his destiny would be fulfilled and he would follow his father's footsteps. He didn't like to be part of something and being a Death Eater was being part of something – something big and important and, most of all, life threatening and thrilling.
Theodore loved a thrill. Luna 'Loony' Lovegood was thrilling and having these moments to see her be herself and cherish her with his emerald eyes was very thrilling for him, most of all when no one took notice. They hadn't spoken much since last year when they had taken care of Padfoot who had now vanished and neither of them knew where he was.
There was also the excuse of the Triwizard Tournament. The other schools had been a distraction for Theodore. Well, that was the excuse he had given himself. The real reason was the Dark Lord's imminent return, but he didn't like to dwell on that very much. Still keeping his eyes on hers, he finished his meal and stood up, heading for the Library.
Theo easily walked without being noticed; the students of Hogwarts were distracted by the 'pretty' French girls that were smiling at them. Shaking his head he continued on his way, but cringed and stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He didn't need to turn his head as he already knew who it was.
"I've missed you, can't you just for one minute be with me, Teddy?" Daphne Greengrass whispered at him.
He frowned in disgust as he pushed her hand off his shoulder. "Don't touch me in public and stop calling me Teddy! How many times do I have to repeat this? Are you deaf, Daphne? Or are you just dumb? Not even Crabbe and Goyle call me Teddy and look at them," he hissed angrily as he shoved her away, not even caring that she looked hurt by his words and actions. He would never care for Daphne. She didn't care about him, so why would he? She only cared about his money and how she could get her hands on it.
No, he didn't care for Daphne one bit. Maybe he didn't mind having her around when they were shagging in his dorm. But he only cared about himself and not if she was enjoying herself. After all, husbands didn't really care for their wives, did they? No, they didn't, so his explanation was that he was making her to get used to it. They would marry – her father had talked to his and while the old man wasn't keen about marrying his only son and heir to a Greengrass slut, he had agreed. After all, the Dark Lord would want more pureblood servants. And having Theodore marry Daphne was the best option for that.
Her lips trembled. "You're a bastard, Te-Theodore."
Theo smirked. "My parents were married when they had me. Why don't you go and think about other insults and then we'll see each other in the dorm." He spoke quietly, telling her in hidden words to leave him alone and that later they would see each other.
"Alright," she answered with a smile.
She leaned in to kiss him, but he stopped her. "I'm not a common half-blood so I abstain from the public display of the so-called 'affection' you have for me." His green eyes squinted at her then he turned around and continued to walk towards the Library.
He would never care for someone as fake as Daphne Greengrass. He would never be able to feel love for her and would never feel sorry for her, not even pity. His feelings, when they weren't purely physical, were cold towards her. Just like her feelings were for him. It was as simple as that.
As he entered the Library his frown deepened. This was one of the few places where he could be alone. Now? It was full of Durmstrang students flirting with Hogwarts girls, like Krum was always doing with the mudblood Granger. He didn't know what Krum saw in the mudblood know-it-all. She was annoying and it looked like she didn't brush her hair at all.
Standing behind one of the many bookshelves and looking for the new Transfiguration tome about Animagi he had read the other day, his search was interrupted by a strong Bulgarian accent. Krum. Theo didn't need to turn around to identify the Durmstrang student and his fingers continued to reach for the book's spine.
"I'm thinking about asking Hermy-own-ninny to the Ball. But vot if she says no…?" Viktor whispered.
Theodore looked amused for a moment. "She won't say no."
"How do you know?" Krum asked him. "Vot if someone else asked her?"
Theo shook his head and looked over at the Bulgarian, who was already becoming a good acquaintance. Krum was actually an intelligent bloke and could do and get anything he wanted. Theo admired that about him. "Trust me, no one has asked Granger to the Ball and she'll say yes."
Krum smiled and patted Theo's back. "Thank you, Nott. Are you going to ask that strange girl to the Ball?"
Theodore shook his head. Unfortunately for him, Krum had noticed that he liked to look at Lovegood. "No."
Krum looked surprised. "Oh, she is strange but, vell, pretty in a strange way."
Theo nodded unconsciously. "Well, Granger just walked in, why don't you ask her now?" he prompted as he opened his book, indicating to Krum that he wanted to be alone. Viktor smiled, smoothed his robes and headed for the table that the mudblood always sat at.
Sighing to himself Theodore began to walk to his favorite table, the one near the Restricted Section. He smiled to himself as he noticed that it was empty. Taking his seat he lost himself in the words of the book and its immense information. It was beautiful.
The moment was shattered when he smelled her cinnamon scent. He didn't look up but he did stop reading.
Luna sat in front of him and laid her elbows on the table as she leaned towards him. "You look so sad and worried, Theodore." She spoke airily but with a hint of care, he noticed. The way she said his name made his stomach do flips, made his skin tingle.
He looked and frowned at her. "I'm indifferent not sad." Theo wore a mask; he had been taught by his father to never show his emotions, that it wasn't proper for a pureblood to show people how you felt. He was also taught to never show affection because only the lower classes did so. Something a muggle or a common half-blood would do, his father would say.
So it surprised Theodore that Lovegood could actually see that he was sad and worried.
"Oh no, I've seen when you're indifferent. And right now you're not indifferent. You're sad," she stated. "You know I can help you be happy again. You were always happy when you and I were together in our other life."
He rolled his eyes. Since he'd met her she had always insisted that they had been together in another life, that they were soul mates, that he loved her, and that she would wait patiently until he discovered that what he felt for her was love.
Theodore had laughed in her face when she had started telling him things like that. Now he would just shake his head and tell her to go find those Nargles she talked about so much. "Did the Nargles misplace your tights?" he asked her. He had noticed that she wasn't wearing any of those colorful tights of hers and instead wore boring white knee high socks.
Luna nodded, her hands on her pink cheeks. "They love colorful, shiny and unique things. Why are you sad?" She seemed undeterred that he had tried to change the topic.
He squinted his eyes. "Not your business, Lovegood."
"Luna. Not Lovegood. Mummy and Daddy took a long time to name me, you know. Oh and I do think it is my business, Theodore. Anything that is bothering you, causing you pain or making you happy is my business. We're soul mates – I'm supposed to be here to help you, to be by your side," she finished with a dreamy smile.
Theodore frowned. "What if I am sad? What is your solution?"
Her smile widened, a small finger playing with a strand of her hair. "To be with you." She had said it as if that was the simplest solution to all his problems. Maybe to her it was. Not to him, though.
He looked her in the eye. "You know, Lovegood, there are two types of people in the world: those who prefer to be sad among others, and those who prefer to be sad alone. I like to be sad alone. I love being alone. So I don't need your company or your pity, alright?" Theo said, frustrated. "My loneliness is by choice."
Her head tipped to the side. "But I don't pity you. I love you. Love is very different from pity. You know that, you're really smart," she answered, not showing a hint of hurt at his words. Theo mentally congratulated her for wearing a mask even better than his. "Being alone makes you sad. I can be there for you. I understand how you feel…"
"How can you love me when I've been horrible to you, eh?" He laughed, wanting to hurt her, to see that she wasn't all dreamy and distracted, that she felt emotions like any human being. "You don't understand, because you're not in my shoes and I don't want you to be there for me."
"You're nothing compared to the rest – you actually talk to me – and I can't forget what we lived before and what we'll live now. It's all so marvelous, Theodore. You just have to open your eyes." Her small hand reached for his cheek, causing him to freeze in horror, but when her warm fingertips touched his skin, it caused him to lean into her touch.
Strange, very strange, he idly thought.
After a few seconds or maybe minutes he spoke quietly, afraid he would break the moment if he pushed her. "Daphne is waiting for me in my dorm."
That made her fingers retreat to her side, and a small frown appeared on her lips. Her shoulders slumped. "It's rude to make her wait," she murmured.
That was all he needed to make him close his book and stand up. "I like making her wait." Licking his lips he added with a smile, "You know, you look much better with your tights than those white socks."
He realized that he didn't like seeing her sad for some silly reason.
His words made her smile dreamily. "Your smile is unique, you should smile more."
Theo rolled his eyes and left her at his table. He headed for the dungeons and to his dorm where Daphne was waiting for him, smiling all the way there, his mind occupied with Luna and not what he would do with Greengrass. Theodore Nott liked being alone, but hearing and seeing Luna 'Loony' Lovegood was becoming his favorite pastime.
AN: This one-shot is after A Moment in Life and before Revelation. Please Review!