All right, those two crazy chicks, RP and SOD here, are bringing to you our first collab. We got together one day, and decided. We were bored. In fact we were EXTEMELY bored, so…. We bring you a good old fashion collaboration fanfic.

Disclaimer- neither RP nor SOD nor ACDC owns FMA… and if we did (especially ACDC) lets just say… things would not be normal. This is just a prologue… the real funny stuff happens in the first chapter!

is when the authors change to write

Alternate Universe

A collab by Radical Phantom and Singer of Death

Ed sat awkwardly on his knees, anticipating his next encounter with the gate. Expecting vast amounts of knowledge to pour into his head as it had before. Al sat in a chair beside his brother… feeling awkward and stupid at how ridiculous he looked in a wooden chair that was practically crumbling under his weight. He looked eagerly at his brother.

"So… you think going back to the gate will give you clues on how to bring my body back?" he asked hopefully,

Ed turned away from his giant transmutation circle to look at his "younger" brother.

"I know it will, last time I went, it gave me clues on how to attach your soul. This time it's gonna teach me how to change you back." He put a metal hand to his head, "I don't see how I didn't realize it before! The gate has the answers to everything! It's at least worth a try!"

Outside in the falling rain, a familiar tan man with white hair let the water beat down on his scarred face. He watched the brothers from a window. The first thing he saw was the giant transmutation circle.

Sinner's… betrayers of the ways of god. They make me sick.

Despite his obvious hatred for alchemists, the curious Ishbalan decided to have a look anyway. He crouched under the bottom windowpane to shield himself from the rain and to keep himself out of sight, looking curiously up to see what they were doing. He wanted to know. Hey, even "messengers of god" gotta get their kicks, right?

The humonculis are walking to Central to find Ed to make him make the god damn philosopher stone to make them human again. "Aw, why can't I eat him? I can at least eat the armor guy, right?" Gluttony said.

"You can eat them after we let them change us," Lust said. "Good, I'm hungry." Everyone sweat drops. They walk to Central and look in the window.

"There they are," Lust says.

"Hey, look, there's a giant transmutation circle. I wonder what those weird little boys are up to. Lets take a look Lust," Sloth said.

"All right, fine. We'll go," she said. They go to a window of the room. They look around to see what they're trying to do when they hear Ed talk about the gate.

"This is interesting. I guess we can kill them after we see the little show," Lust says.

Roy Mustang posed dramatically in front of his mirror in his flaming boxers.

"Oh yeah! You're one sexy Colonel you are!" he gloated,

He held up his right hand and used it as a puppet.

"Oh Colonel! How do you do it?" he… er... his 'puppet' said in a fake women's voice.

Riza hastily opened the door to Roy's apartment, without looking she stepped inside.

"Colonel, the Elric brothers are-" she paused at the sudden realization that Colonel Mustang was in front of his mirror in his boxers… talking with his hand. After a few moments of awkward pausing, Riza cleared her throat, "Colonel, the Elric brothers have built a giant transmutation circle in their room. I'm afraid that they might be attempting some sort of human alchemy… I'm worried Colonel."

Roy posed a few more times in front of his mirror.

"Do whatever you think you should do then… I'm… busy."

Hughes was in the cafeteria, making sure everybody there had seen all 31 pictures of his family at least 10 times each, today.

"Don't you just think Alicia is the cutest thing you've ever seen? I mean look at her with those cute little pigtails and that cute little dress I bought for her. She wanted it so badly I just couldn't resist with her adorable little face of hers. Don't you think it's lovely? It cost $45 but it was worth it for my little Alicia," Hughes said to Fury.

"Ah…Hey! I heard that Ed and Al are making a giant transmutation circle. You want to go see it?" Fury said, hoping to get out of the rambling, obsessed Hughes grip.

"Oh, that sounds like a great idea! Let's go!" Hughes exclaimed, "And on the way I can show you some more pictures of Alicia. Oh! Did you see this one yet? We were at the park and Alicia was playing with a dog when some mean people came and scolded her for pulling it's ears. I mean, she's just a little kid. So, I went over to them and…"

"You ready Al?" Ed asked, getting his white gloves one.

To be honest he wasn't. He wanted anything but to do this. He didn't want Ed to lose any more limbs. Al looked at the eager expression on his brother's face and couldn't refuse. He nodded solemnly. Ed brought his hands down to touch the circle, by this time pretty much everyone and their grandma had heard about the Elrics' building a giant transmutation circle. A brilliant red light surrounded Ed. A large… almost crystal ball-like object appeared out of the floor.

Something was wrong.

"What the-? This isn't the right gate!" Ed stated, "This is-"

"A window to another dimension." A deep voice said, as a man with dark hair and flaming boxers walked into the room. Everyone who had gathered to see Ed's transmutation circle (even the Grandmas) saluted, confused at the Colonel's odd attire but respected him nonetheless. (In fact, the grandmas respected him more if ya know what I mean.) "This might be fun… did anyone bring popcorn?"

They watched as the crystal ball-like object began to transform and change color.

All right that was just a prologue… the rest we hope will be funnier.

BEHOLD EXTREME OOCNESS! YOU'LL LAUGH! YOU'LL CRY! YOU'LL SHAKE YOU'RE HEADS SADLY!