James, Sirius, and Peter were acting strange that day. Remus could tell. They were stealing glances at him, and then looking back, quickly, as if he wouldn't notice.
But he did.
It was strange that they seemed to think he wouldn't notice. Yet, they could be doing unconsciously. Had they noticed something about him?
He suddenly had that awkward feeling, like something was wrong with him. Remus knew that wasn't true. He was perfectly fine. There wasn't any bacon in his teeth or wrinkles on his uniform.
Though, with a glance at Sirius, he could tell that they wouldn't have cared about wrinkles on his robes – unless, of course, they were being hypocritical.
That wasn't right either.
His three roommates had never been hypocritical before. Remus sighed, blinking quickly and trying to ignore the feeling of wanting to not reopen his eyes.
Tonight was the full moon. He wasn't ready for it (when was he ever?) In fact, he hadn't even told James, Sirius, and Peter that he was leaving yet. Last year, his first year at Hogwarts, he had told them multiple times that he had to visit his mother – who was sick.
It was near ridiculous that he couldn't have thought of a better story. Wasn't he supposed to be smart?
When James – with Sirius and Peter in tow – had asked him in first year, he had been shocked. Why? Because it had never occurred to him that they would ask.
A mix of jumbled thoughts had run through his head as he tried to decide what to say. The truth was mixed in between them. He said one of the better lies at the time.
"My mother's sick."
Reflecting back, he was lucky he didn't say something about the moon or werewolves because that was what he had been thinking about most clearly. It probably would have come out something like,
"Er – well… I'm sick. My mother's a werewolf."
Yeah, that would have gone over well.
This year, he had been planning on telling them, but he hadn't been able to face them as they looked on with obvious disbelief.
Now, seeing their glances, he wondered if they had found it out.
Merlin, he hoped not. If they did –
He would have to leave.
Sighing, he promised himself that they hadn't discovered it, and that he would act normal. They didn't.
After all, they couldn't have. There was no possibility that they knew.
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"James?" Remus asked incredulously. It was early afternoon, and all four of the roommates had a free period. Remus could have put it down to his perpetual bad luck, but he was realistic enough to realize that, as second years, they all had nearly the same schedule, and it really wasn't that unlikely to all have a free period together.
He had wanted to go up for a quick nap, but the sight of James reading in the dorm had shocked him.
"Yeah, Remus?" James asked, avoiding his eyes by looking at the book. Or, Remus thought, he could have been just absorbed in reading, but this was James they were talking about. Plus, after looking around the dorm, Remus saw that Sirius and Peter were also in there. James would have been fooling around with them – not reading.
"You're reading," Remus said, as if it should have been obvious.
It was obvious. In all the time Remus had known James, he had seen his reading maybe two times. Combined with the strange looks he had been getting, it was suspicious.
"Yeah, I'm reading. Why do you sound so surprised?" James said, trying to sound nonchalant.
"He didn't know you could read, James," Sirius said with a grin.
"Yeah," Peter said, joining in. "I'll bet you didn't even get past the first page."
"I'll have you know that I'm an amazing reader," he said, seeming offended.
"Really?" Sirius asked. "What page are you on?"
"… three." Remus could tell that their banter was fake. There were awkward pauses in it, and the fact that Peter was staring at him gave them away.
"What are you reading, James?" Remus asked suspiciously. He seemed nervous and glanced at Peter and Sirius before answering.
"Er – a Quidditch book. It has all the rules in it…" Remus rolled his eyes. James knew the rules so well that he could write a book on them.
"Oh – then can I see it?" Remus asked.
"No!" James exclaimed. "I mean – you – er- wouldn't be interested in it." Remus sighed. He was extremely tired, and he did not want to deal with this today.
Why, of all the days, on a full moon?
He glanced at one of the clocks. 2:30.
He still had four hours before he even had to think about the sun setting.
"Will you three just tell me whatever you're keeping secret?" Remus asked, frustrated. Usually, he would have been more tactful, but he was really tired. The three glanced at each other but were silent.
"Look-" Remus began heatedly, staring at James. He didn't know why he decided to focus on James – after all, it was clear that all three of them knew whatever the secret was.
James unconsciously shifted the book in his lap as he squirmed uncomfortably. Remus was able to see the first few letters of the title
"Werew-"
He didn't know what the other letters were, but he could guess.
"You – you guys know," he asked softly. James, realizing what Remus had seen, flipped the book the rest of the way over.
"Werewolves and Other Dark Creatures"
Without a word, Remus stood and began opening his trunk. Then, opening his drawers at random, he began to pack.
"What – what are you-" Sirius began. Remus sighed and held up a hand.
"It's okay. I'll just leave. You won't have to-"
"No-" James began. Remus interrupted him.
"I know. I know. I'm a beast. I shouldn't have come. It was a bad decision. Don't fault Dumbledore on it." The first drawer was empty, so he moved to the closet. He was lucky that he hadn't truly unpacked yet.
"Remus-"Peter tried.
"I'm sorry!" Remus burst out suddenly, interrupting yet another one of his roommates. "I thought that it would be nice to actually be normal for a change! I know that I don't deserve to be normal!" Pulling out the last of his clothes, he shoved them into his trunk and began to drag it out of the room.
The other three sat there, stunned. They had never thought that Remus would react like that. Remus was halfway down the stairs to the Common room by the time the others even stood. James raced down the stairs, going two at a time.
"Remus, wait!" he yelled. Remus took a deep breath to calm himself and turned. James grinned with relief as Remus stopped, looking into his eyes.
Unfortunately, looking into Remus's eyes also meant looking up from the stairs – which wasn't a good idea. James yelped as his foot missed the step, and he plummeted down. Remus tried to avoid him, but James crashed into him, and they ended up jumbled together at the bottom.
"Owww," James moaned. Remus didn't feel any better. He had landed on his trunk – which had also sprung open, and all of his stuff was now scattered on the Common Room's floor.
He was extremely lucky that no one was in the Common Room but them.
Standing, Remus saw that Sirius and Peter had joined them at the bottom of the stairs. Sirius was clearly trying not to laugh, and Peter was staring at them open-mouthed.
"I can't believe you –" Peter began. Then he shook his head, speechless and unable to continue. Remus, his face going horrible red, started to collect his things.
"Remus, look, it doesn't matter if you are a-"
"Shh!" Peter admonished. "Don't say that out loud!" Remus turned to Peter, pausing for a second from his frantic dash to collect everything.
"Thank you, Peter," he said politely, tilting his head towards his friend. "Thank you for keeping my secret. Don't worry; you won't have to for much longer."
"Remus!" James tried again. "We don't –"
"Want me here. Yeah, I get it. I'm leaving. Give me that!" Remus said, glaring at Sirius. He had picked up one of Remus' books.
"Not until you listen to us!" Sirius protested.
"Why should I?" Remus snapped. "I've heard it all before. 'You'll never be normal!' 'We don't want you here!' 'I never want to see you again!' I get it!"
"But you don't!" James objected. "I don't bloody-"
"Don't talk to me," Remus said coldly. "You'll never see me again. I didn't infect anyone, and it doesn't matter anymore."
"Yes, it does!" Sirius shouted as Remus tried to pull the book out of his hands.
"You know what!" Remus declared. "Just keep it. I don't care." He turned and grabbed his trunk again, pulling it out of the Common Room. Once again, James, Sirius, and Peter had to follow him as he stalked away.
"Remus, could you listen to us for one second!" Sirius begged.
"Why?" Remus said furiously. "So you could insult me, like everyone else?"
"No!"Sirius screamed. "So you bloody know that we don't care!"
"You – what?" Remus choked out.
"Remus – you're halfblood, right?" Sirius asked, ignoring James and Peter's strange looks.
"I don't know what this has to do –"
"Right?"
"Yes, Black," Remus said through clenched teeth. Sirius nodded.
"Then you may not know this. D'you know anything about my family?"
"No…" Remus said, drawing out the word. He was very confused.
"They're dark. Every single damn one of them – that isn't disowned, of course. I was supposed to be in Slytherin. In fact, I'm the first Black to ever be in Gryffindor."
"Good for you?" Remus said, raising an eyebrow and slowing his words.
"Do you still talk to me, even though I come from a family of Dark wizards?"
"Yeah," Remus said with a short nod. "But it's different…"
"How?" Sirius asked. Remus glanced around them, noticing the hallway wasn't quite as deserted as he had thought. James noticed the look.
"Let's go back to the dorm and talk about this, okay?" Reluctant, Remus nodded. They were just looking for another way to ridicule him. No one had ever wanted to be around him after he'd been bitten. Even his mother was a bit scared; he could see it in her eyes.
They walked to the dorm silently, each lost in their own thoughts. As soon as they were inside and the door was closed, Remus spoke.
"I'm a dark creature. You have a small possibility to become dark. There's a difference."
"Dumbledore has methods in place to keep you and everyone safe, right?" Peter asked. His tone came across as slightly nervous, making Remus sigh before answering.
"Yeah. Don't worry, you're safe…"
"No!" Peter protested. "That's not what I meant. I meant that, just like how Siri has a small possibility of hurting someone when he's a dark wizard, you have a small possibility of hurting someone when you're a dark creature."
"I – I… You guys aren't scared of me?"
"Nope," James said with a smile.
"And you don't want me to leave?"
"No way!" Sirius said. "We wouldn't let you!"
"But I turn into a wild beast every full moon!" Remus blurted out. He couldn't believe that the other three kids weren't scared of him.
"Only on the full moon. On the other days, you are just annoying Remus, the bookworm," Peter said with a smile. Remus smiled back. Finally, he reopened his trunk and began to unpack.
"Yeah, Remus," James said. "It's only your little, furry problem, after all!"
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This is dedicated to CoolerThanThouArt.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.