Coming Full Circle

This was a bad idea. Tony had known it the minute she had walked in the door. Well, he knew it well before then, but her being there was just the icing on the proverbial cake. He had tried many times before to leave this all behind and go back to his couch and the cold beers in his fridge, but Jack just wouldn't let him go. He couldn't tell if Jack really did need his help or if he was just trying to rally an old friend, but Tony had taken the bait regardless. Did he want to be back in all of this again, back at CTU where so many of his memories were born? No. But it still felt good to be doing something again, to be a part of something again.

But then she walked in and his mind was instantly flooded with images of her and him and how even the littlest of touches, in the end, had meant everything to two people who constantly had the fate of the free world in their hands. She taught him to focus on the small things in life, because it was those moments that brought true happiness. She had been just as beautiful back then too, her bright eyes so innocent…not that she wasn't fully capable of doing her job, but she always had this child-like wonder and excitement about her that just made him want to be a part of it. She was always so hopeful in an environment that was so desolate. Just being near her made his life so complete. She made working in this miserable place bearable.

Now, she was all business with her straight hair and sharp suit. She demanded respect and he gave it to her because she had earned it. Her life had been turned upside down because of him, and through all the heartache and pain, she had managed to make something of herself. As much as he hated to see it, she had been able to move on and to move up. He knew better than anyone else that she deserved it, he only wished that he had been strong enough, man enough, to be a part of it.

He thought about how easy it had been to push her away; so many things had been hard in his life, and after getting out of prison he just didn't have it in him to face the hardships anymore. He watched her go through all the steps, first she was in denial. So happy to have him home she pretended that his eyes didn't have that haunted look, she tried to resume their normal life but he just couldn't do it; it just wasn't the same as it used to be. She didn't stay in denial for long though, choosing anger instead. But he was immune to it, numb to it. She'd scream at the top of her lungs just to get his attention, but his eyes never wavered from the screen.

When her anger wore out she moved on to bargaining. Telling him that if only they tried a little harder, things could be different. They could start over, start new, but he knew that just wasn't possible. He wasn't the same man he had once been, and she didn't deserve to be stuck with what he had become. When that didn't work she became sad--upset all the time that he didn't have words for her. If anything, the one thing their life had always been filled with was conversation, there was always something to say. But when Tony had been released, their days and nights became filled with an endless silence, broken only by nonsense TV and his trips to and from the refrigerator.

Her acceptance is what surprised Tony the most. And what made him feel the worst. She didn't accept her life and continue to live it, she made a stand. "I'm leaving you." They were the first words Tony had actually listened too in almost a year. But even hearing them couldn't bring him to beg her to stay. He knew she was better off if she left. So he let her. He found another couch to sit on, and another refrigerator to grab beer from, and at night, all he did was think about everything they had sacrificed, and the consequences of those actions.

So walking the CTU halls, catching just the smallest glimpse of what their life could have been had he been different, it was for him, coming full circle. Tony normally hated clichés, but this one seemed to fit. After all that had happened to both of them, fate had brought them back to this place. A place that seemed to take and take and take, but never give. So Tony decided to do the taking for himself, if ever there was a chance to set things right, it was now. Did he deserve the chance? Not in a million years. Would she give it to him? He had to believe she would. Even with it seeming as if she had moved on in more than one way, he still had to believe that somewhere inside of her, was the love that they had shared.

It seemed there was only one obstacle in his way--Bill. Tony didn't know why but seeing her with him was more of a surprise than anything else, but unfortunately that surprise had quickly turned into rage and jealousy. How dare another man put his hands on her. He wanted to rip the guys throat out for touching her the way he did, and he believed that he would have if he hadn't seen the look in her eyes. They may again be strangers, but he knew that look, would know it anywhere, it was one that was reserved only for him. So maybe there still was hope after all. He wanted a fresh start with her, a new beginning. They deserved it—he deserved it. But did she have it in her to want to be with him? There was only one way to find out…

"Michelle?"…

Authors Note: This short piece is in response to a challenge set forth to me by one: brodie-wan to write about what Tony is feeling when seeing Michelle again and seeing her interaction with Bill. This is my first attempt at writing 24 fic and in the spirit of HATING that Tony has become such a dark character on the show, I wanted to write about the better times for him. Not that this is a cheery fic by any means, but at least he hadn't gone over to the dark side at this point! Thanks so much for reading, reviews are always loved!