Two ships sped near the planet. The first was a light cruiser in the red and white trim of the Galactic Senate. Although built for speed as attested by it's large main thrusters it could not outrun the large grey triangular behemoth that pursued it. The ships traded fire. Red bolts from the Senate ship in a futile attempt to disable the pursuer. Green blasts from the Imperial battlewagon leisurely sought out the engines of it's prey.
In short order the expected outcome occurred. The smaller ship disabled by the larger, pulled into it's cavernous hanger and boarded. The cruisers defenders fight bravely, if futilely.
Meanwhile in a section of a ship not yet overrun.
"You are to see these plans delivered to General Obi-Wan Kenobi." said a small slight human. She inserted the data chip into the droids chassis. "Now get going HK. Escape and evasion protocol now."
"Resigned statement: Yes, mistress. I will be your errand droid." said HK-47.
"Just do it HK." said his mistress while drawing a blaster.
"Very well mistress. Engaging escape and evasion protocols." said HK-47. It crouched and crept off quickly.
HK-47 crept towards the airlock. He had considered using an escape pod but did not want to risk being blasted by bored, trigger happy point defence gunners. He would cheerfully blast any pod trying to escape and could not imagine anyone else doing otherwise. Still he had launched all the escape pods after 'preparing' them with a few surprises and hapless droids to aid in the confusion.
He inserted his probe into the airlock interface and overrode the safety protocols. They were supposedly fool proof but weren't they always? He had 'assisted' with the programming on such systems himself. While the boarding crew dealt with the excitement that was accidental depressurisation HK-47 walked out the airlock, activated his stealth field and walked over to the umbilical and crossed to the larger ship. He found another airlock and again 'requested' access.
Now he was in a transport shuttle preparing to transit to the planet's surface.
"Is there a reason we've been assigned a droid?" said the Stromtrooper. It was regarding HK-47 after coming up the ramp.
"Tedious explanation: Tatooine is a remote world with many beings who cannot communicate in Basic. In order to interrogate them efficiently you will need someone who can understand and translate their tortured screams for mercy." said HK-47.
"Hmm, I like that explanation. Hey sarge! Is this some new droid model." the Stormtrooper called down.
"Must be trooper, now quit farting about and get on board." said the Sergeant.
"Yes, Sarge." the trooper replied and the Stormtroopers filed on board. The shuttle hatch closed and it's repulsors activated.
As the shuttle was travelling down to the planet's surface HK-47 decided it was time for the next phase of the plan.
"Exciting announcement: It is time for a mandatory health and safety briefing." it said to the troopers.
The troopers groaned. These were the worst.
"Mandatory request: Please remove your helmets for a full understanding of the briefing." said HK-47.
The troopers did so. Rather quickly. Any excuse to remove the helmets was always taken.
"Enlightening lesson: Tatooine is a dangerous, lawless place. It is best to be on one's guard at all times. For example it is the only source in the galaxy of Iocaine, a clear, odourless and tasteless substance and one of the deadlier poisons known. A sample in aerosol form has been provided for further understanding of the dangers we may face."
HK-47 picked his way over their expired forms and opened the door to the shuttle's cockpit. After a brief pause he walked in, tossed the pilot out of the control chair and took his place.
"Thoughtful pondering: If I were a Jedi General where would I be on Tatooine?" the droid said to no-one in particular.
The troopers approached the escape pod warily. It was half buried in sand but as yet looked unopened. After a couple of entreaties to open the pod a trooper was sent to open it. Designed for rescue the door opened easily. The explosive charge on the inside of pod ripped the unfortunate trooper in two.
Similar fates awaited those investigating the other escape pods. In addition, a shuttle was found with the entire platoon and pilot dead. There were tracks leading away from several pods. Justifiably incensed the surviving troopers set off in pursuit.
Meanwhile HK-47 was getting annoyed. He had forgotten how annoying the indigenous organics of this misbegotten planet were. Standard interrogation techniques, while satisfying were getting him nowhere fast. From his vantage point he scanned the area.
"Resignation: Tatooine is a dreary place. Perhaps I should surrender and inform the Empire that the Rebellion has a major base on this world. Then they can use their new battlestation on it."
HK-47 considered this strategy. While it had clear appeal and no obvious downside he sensed that his current mistress would disapprove.
Something caught his receptors. HK-47 focused and studied. Yes. That would do nicely. He jumped down from the still smoking building and moved to intercept.
Luke drove his speeder back to the farmstead. He was angry and frustrated. His friends farewell party had ended and unlike them he was going back to be a farmer. It wasn't fair!
He was dragged out of his funk by the sight of a figure limping across the plain. Curious he drove over to investigate.
It was a spindly red droid. It's right leg seemed damaged as it limped along.
"Hey. Are you alright?" said Luke as he pulled up in his speeder.
"Impassioned plea: No master. I am lost and alone in a hostile, godless, uncaring universe with no master to repair me." said the droid. It turned it's head to look at Luke, the actuators sparking as it did so. One of the photoreceptors was flashing intermittently.
"You look pretty beat up. Say, what sort of droid are you?" said Luke.
"Woeful recitation: I am but a protocol droid master. Searching for his former master, an Obi-Wan Kenobi." said the droid.
"Obi-Wan Kenobi?" said Luke. "Nope, never heard of an Obi-Wan. There's a Ben Kenobi. Why must you find him?"
"Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope." came a woman's voice from the droid.
"What was that?"
"Confused query: What was what?" said the droid in it's regular raspy voice followed by the entreaty again.
"That! That message!"
"Sudden recollection: Why master, that is a piteous plea for help from a young, healthy and quite vigorous female human who also requires the services of my master." said the droid who then played the plea again.
"Is there any more of the message?" said Luke. Her voice sounded quite enchanting.
"Affirmation: Why yes master. However I will require additional power to access the memory bank. May I board your speeder and use it's fuel cell for such a purpose."
"Of course. Climb in." said Luke.
The strange droid did so. It appeared quite clumsy and it knocked against Luke as it got in jabbing him with a loose panel or something.
"Ow. Careful you."
"Humble petition: Oh sorry master. How clumsy of me." it said. Once settled the droid extended a probe and interfaced with the power coupling. After a few seconds a holographic image of a young, attractive woman appeared. Her youthful face stared out of the hologram.
"Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, your my only hope." she said.
"She's beautiful." said Luke.
"Detailed summation: Subject is a human female from Alderaan." the droid then proceed to list the woman's age, height, weight and other measurements. "Sly inquiry master. Have you heard of this amusing ditty. Recitation mode:"
'Corruscanti girls, will do it for pearls,
The Tatooine for water,
But if you want a dame,
with her heart aflame,
Try an Alderaanian daughter.'
The melody was delivered in a smooth baritone, quite unlike the droids normal tones.
"Is she in danger?" said Luke.
"Exasperated confirmation: Yes master. The young human female is in mortal danger and will require both your help and this Kenobi's. After which, she would be quite grateful."
"Uhh, right. Sure I'll take you to see Ben." said Luke. He restarted the speed and started driving out into the wastes.
"Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope." the image pleaded.
HK-47 analysed the meatbag's tissue. Were he not a machine he may of wanted to recheck the information. Well, well, well.
"Belated enquiry: Master, what is your name?" he said.
"Luke. Luke Skywalker." said Luke.
HK-47 fell silent as several dormant programs activated. Probabilities were calculated and subjected to scrutiny. A result was reached.
Chance of Force related activities 99.2%
Activate Jedi Assassination Protocols? Y/N
HK-47 chose Yes.
HK-47 studied the target as the speeder approached a lone dwelling. Human, male in late middle age. HK-47 studied the target's features and compared the man's appearance to data, old news reports, adjusted for age and weathering that meatbags suffered.
94.5% chance target is Obi-Wan Kenobi. Imperial Bounty 250,000 as per orders Y/N
5.3% chance that target is body double planted by decoy to draw him out. Terminate to draw out actual target Y/N
0.2% chance that target is random victim of chance. Remove annoying statistical outlier? Y/N
HK-47 chose to contact the target, reluctantly. He wondered how he could both contact the target, bring him to Alderaan and also collect the bounty from the Empire. With it, mistress could finance many more ships and weapons for the Rebellion.
The speeder slowed outside the hut. HK-47 and Luke got out. The target came out to greet them.
"Greetings Luke. What brings you to visit this day." said Ben.
"This droid. He says your his master." said Luke.
"I don't own a droid." said Ben. He looked at HK-47 thoughtfully.
"Clarification: My mistress has sent me to retreive you master. Request: Can we speak inside away from prying eyes and orbiting Imperial cruisers?" said HK-47.
"Yes, you are right. Come inside." said Ben. He turned and walked inside.
Once inside HK-47 took stock of the Jedi's interior. The mad Jedi held to the self destructive philosophies of pacifism and sacrifice, but this particular Jedi was also known as 'The Negotiator'. He had a most impressive kill tally, for a meatbag. He quickly determined that The Negotiator was also skilled in concealment and subterfuge as he could only detect the two clearly obvious weapons in the room. The message in it's entirety was played. HK-47 noted with satisfaction how the young meatbag was clearly infatuated by his mistress' appearance. More bodies were always welcome on a mission.
The Negotiator was showing to Luke one of those weapons now.
"It is your father's lightsabre."
HK-47 picked that snippet out of the meatbag rambling. Programs activated.
Known Jedi named Skywalker.
Toei Skywalker. Miralukan female. Terminated by this unit.
Hughes Skywalker. Human male. Expired 2376 years ago.
Cal Skywalker. Vorgoss alpha.
Anakin Skywalker. Human male. Age 41. Listed as missing, presumed expired.
Select further information on Anakin Skywalker.
A lot of information followed concerning Anakin Skywalker. Including an outstanding termination request! A former master had requested the termination of several Jedi. Even though the foolish meatbag was now expired HK-47 did not like leaving a job undone. Especially on Jedi.
"How did my father die?" asked Luke.
Oh. Anakin Skywalker had expired already. HK-47 felt, disappointed. Surely it was best to be terminated by him, an expert and master rather than merely succumb to random mischance. HK-47 suspected many did that just to spite him.
He idly listened to The Negotiator prattle on, until he noticed small catches in the human's voice. Was that human lying?
"Request: This unit needs to shut down for internal maintenance." said HK-47.
"Sure, go ahead." said Luke.
HK-47 continued to listen and carefully record The Negotiator's voice, mannerisms and speech patterns. He then activated several interrogation programs designed to determine whether the subject was lying . Although the lack of screaming made the process confusing HK-47 determined that The Negotiator was not telling the truth. Anakin Skywalker was likely still alive. He could fulfil the contract! His servos hummed in anticipation!
"I can't go with you to Alderaan. I have to get back to the farm. My uncle's going to kill me as it is." said Luke.
HK-47 thought that unlikely. He made a show of starting up.
"Placating statement: Master, it is my experience that most beings do not casually commit fratricide. Also it is always easier to get forgiveness than permission. I suggest embarking on this quest with myself as your humble facilitator. When we return a portion of the credits and other wealth we accrued can help gain the approval your relatives. Perhaps we should replay the message?"
The Negotiator eyed HK-47. "Exactly what sort of droid are you?" he said.
"Explanatory: I am HK-47. Protocol droid. I exist to facilitate negotiations and bring an end to hostilities." said HK-47.
The Negotiator looked at him quizzically but appeared satisfied. He turned back to Luke.
"I need your help, Luke. She needs your help. I'm getting too old for this sort of thing." he said.
In HK-47s experience young males who were attracted to females did not hesitate to rush blindly to their rescue. He considered strangling the youth but decided against it as the improvement of a species' gene pool ran counter to his long term prospects . Instead he passed the time while the youth struggled with his inferior biological programming by detailing the many ways he could be killed. He was up to Dismemberment:Head when the youth spoke again.
"Look, I can take you as far as Anchorhead..." Luke began uncertainly.
HK-47 inwardly cursed meatbags and all their works as they meandered towards the speeder, got in and headed off.
And now they had stopped! They were besides the large crawler of the stupid, uncooperative Jawas.
"And these blast points. Too accurate for sandpeople. Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise." said The Negotiator.
HK-47 decided the sun had obviously got to the meatbag. Accuracy was not what the Imperial Stormtroopers were famous the Galaxy over for. He took the time to admire his handiwork though and made notes for future improvement.
The moment of self-reflection was interrupted by the sound of the speeder starting. HK-47 turned to see the speeder racing off.
Meatbags!
A short while later Luke returned. He looked distressed. HK-47 wondered why. As The Negotiator consoled the youth HK-47 overheard snippets of the conversation. Oh. Those incinerated meatbags. On the plus side their termination propelled the youth to finally join them. After some pointless further incinerating of the Jawas they all got in the speeder and headed for what HK-47 hoped was a starport.
They had stopped again! As The Negotiator showed Luke Mos Eisley HK-47 considered gunning the motor and running both meatbags off the cliff. However since both were Jedi they would no doubt survive, disassemble him and make performing current tasks difficult. HK-47 could not understand why they were doing this. Although he considered most meatbag habitations would be improved by saturation orbital bombardment he felt that even the inhabitants of Mos Eisley would thank him for doing so, were they somehow still alive. The meatbags eventually ceased being appalled at the city's ugliness and ability to mar even Tatooine's hellscape and got back in the speeder.
Fortunately there were no more significant delays on the way to the starport.
HK-47 counted himself fortunate for being a droid as they entered Mos Eisley. As a droid he had no olfactory senses that had to remain switched on at all times. He paused in wondering how meatbags managed when he realised the speeder had stopped again. It was a patrol of Stormtroopers, they seemed to be looking for something. Since HK-47 guessed it was him and the wonderful plans he was carrying he activated several combat protocols in anticipation of the coming mayhem.
It was therefore something of a disappointment for The Negotiator to bypass all that with the annoying waving of hands and mindfoolery. Jedi were such killjoys! At least they were going again.
"Advisory: Lean forwards master and repeat your request in a firm voice." said HK-47
"Huh, Oh okay." said Luke. He leaned forward. "The speeders worth three and a half." he said in a slightly firmer voice.
The Jawa backed away from the human, but managed to find the credits.
'Thank you." said Luke. He then walked over to The Negotiator. "Will it be enough?" he said.
"It will have to be. Do not worry. I know a place. Come on." said the Negotiator.
HK-47 did not mind being requested to stay outside. In his opinion if you have seen five thousand dingy, crowded rooms full of belching meatbags ingesting intoxicants you had seen them all. Also there was no reason to idly wait for whatever inane plan the meatbags came up with. He was alone, in a lawless dump and lacking a weapon. That needed remedying.
HK-47 walked along a dusty alleyway pulling a covered float pallet. Occasionally he would speak into a comm saying something like.
"Yes. This street is clear." or "ND12 here. Nothing to report sir." or something similar. The locals would look worriedly at him, but then decide it wasn't their problem.
HK-47 entered a shop.
"Enthusiastic greeting: Hello fellow being. I anticipate a profitable series of exchanges in our near future!" he said.
"Aratech scatteray."
Clonk.
"Iolo K series blaster."
Clonk. "Nice choice. You know your weapons."
"Deneb arms tribarrel repeater with full suspension and meson enhancements."
"Hey pal. Only what you see."
"Talash disruptor lance."
Clonk. "Hey, a classic. How are you paying for all this?"
HK-47 revealed the contents of the pallet. "Revelation: Three dozen nearly new E-11 Blaster Rifles. Estimated sale value in current market twenty eight thousand. Less purchase value of desired armaments comes to eighteen thousand."
The dealer looked over the weapons "Hmm, yeah. I know a guy. Deal."
HK-47 completed his transactions and returned to where he had been asked to wait.
Presently the youth and Jedi emerged.
"Seventeen thousand! How are we supposed to find that." said Luke.
"Be patient Luke. Something will come up." said The Negotiator.
"Eager response: Why masters. It so happens that I have sufficient credits to overcome this minor hurdle. Allow me." said HK-47. He reached into his bag and withdrew three credsticks and handed them to the youth.
"Thank you HK." said Luke.
"Casual dismissal: No trouble at all. It was a pleasure to assist." said HK-47. Especially with the very large bounty on The Negotiator standing close by. "How about you go back in."
A few minutes later they were moving to a starport with the two spacers they had hired. HK-47 considered their profiles on his favourite database.
Han Solo. Human male. Occupation Drug smuggler. Known bounties: Imperial 5000 DOA. Jabba the Hutt 30,000 DOA.
Chewbacca. Wookie male. Occupation. Drug smuggler. Known bounties. Imperial 12,000 AO. Jabba the Hutt 10,000 DOA. Selica Hunter's Association 25,000 AO.
They were well worth the investment in HK-47s opinion.
"Where have all the troops gone?"
"Resigned explanation: Tatooine is a dry, dusty, despair inducing place. It is likely they all left rather than be here one moment longer. As should we." said HK-47 as they moved towards the ship.