I'd Never Sing of Love

Part One: I'm on my way to believing

Disclaimer: Bleach is not mine. Kubo Tite is the mastermind behind it, so PLEASE if you want to complain as much as I want to for not making anything clear with the manga, I heard he has a twitter account. Also, Chariot NOT mine I borrowed from her inventor (Purpleanime) who is nice enough to let me borrow it.

The biggest thank you goes to my Beta Chancewriter, who is nice enough to correct my English and my writing, without her believe me you'll not get the half of what is written here.

As usual in my stories, Author Notes at the bottom, just a friendly warning *spoilers* (that are hardly spoilers by now) from the manga 377 and 422, and episode 285, Italics are for thoughts, italics + quotation marks are for Hollow talk, and some cursing, but only 1 tiny major word.

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…Maybe I know, somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts and we've got to find other ways to make it alone and keep a straight face…

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Compared to the week that followed the war against Aizen, the time Shinji expended getting used to his hollow and his new exile was a piece of cake, no; actually that time had felt much more like a vacation match up to this week; a sweet, merry, all expenses included vacation. The time he lived in the warehouse recovering and getting used to the idea that Aizen had been exiled to a dark prison in a different dimension had been a living hell, on the contrary of what he had envisioned his entire life, and the reason…ah, the reason was very much a simple one: Hiyori.

Aizen was gone for good, but he had taken with him one of his most precious possessions, well, not so much taken, it was more like his ex-Fukutaichou had broken her with Ichimaru's help.

Shinji ruffled his blond locks shaking his head and stretching his very tense neck. He could remember that awful day like it had happened yesterday. The desperation, the suffering, the blood, the hysteria, all those feeling bottled up in a couple of hours that had made him feel useless and cheated just like the time Aizen had used them (all the Vizards) for his kinky Arrancar experiments. The leader could remember also –and very clearly- the end of the fight when lower rank Shinigami had came bearing news that Ichigo and Urahara had defeated Aizen. Unohana on her part healed them as much as she could and decided to talk to the Vizards before leaving the fake Karauka, saying that in Hiyori's case there wasn't a lot the healing Kidoh could do at that time. However, she also added that spirit particles that were found in masses in Soul Society could be beneficial on Hiyori's stable but still critical condition. The healer turned in Shinji's direction and asked tenderly but determinedly the expressible permission of the ex-Captain to take Hiyori to Soul Society.

"Nothing will happen to Hiyori-san," the woman with a thick braid tied under her chin said to Shinji with confidence in her voice and completely sure of herself, "I can guarantee that."

Without really understanding what he was agreeing to, he nodded. So in a flash, a weird green creature that surely was Unohana's zanpakutou or at least some kind of kidoh she invoked, took the injured girl into its mouth and directed itself to the Senkai door the 4th Squad Captain had opened.

And he….he, just stood still, looking without focusing and voicing in his head time and time again Unohanas' words before he could say thank you: "Whether or not she gives up, is something I think you would know better than I."

WHAT IN THE HELL DID THAT MEAN?

He did know Hiyori from a long time ago, but it wasn't like he could predict her thoughts or anything remotely close. He was just like Lisa (who had been holding Hiyori's hand through the entire time Unohana had been healing her), Kensei, Rose, Mashiro, Love or Hachi. He was Hiyori's comrade, a fellow warrior, one of her kind, a Vizard. So the healer had no reason to direct such words to him, or to request his consent to take her, she could have asked any of the others.

However, he couldn't deny he was worried for a lot of reasons. Their situation, in terms of their Vizard and outlaw status, wasn't as resolved as Kisuke's or Yoruichi's because both of the ex-Captains didn't come with a somber evil half inside of them, so the Seretei hadn't established how welcomed or unwelcomed the ex-Shinigamis were, hence it was impossible for them to go see Hiyori.

"Ahh!" He grumbled in annoyance, "Again my mind drifting to that idiot midget!"

Shinji was mentally torturing himself, he already knew that much, but for some reason it was impossible to stop. For a week –THE worst of his life- the Vizards didn't have any news of Hiyori's condition and even when Mashiro and Hachi had gone to Urahara's Shop to look for any type of information, Tessai had said that the owner was out of town on a very important errand, meaning, Kisuke was probably in Soul Society doing god knows what.

Also, during this week and without even realizing it, Shinji had become isolated, irritable, quiet and moody and was ready to jump at anyone's throat if they even directed a look at him. Shinji kept telling himself that it was because he was worried the Shinigami could come and take all of them for being hollows, but he knew deep in his heart and mind that the fear eating him alive was the thought of the Shinigami dissecting the little runt. He refused to say her name or let the others mention it in his presence since they had come back to the warehouse.

If she is 12th Division material by now, she had it coming for being a pain in the ass and behaving… well, behaving like her stupid self, he voiced in his head chocking at the almost mention of her name.

But he knew that his thoughts were just a way to escape the reality, just like the bad mood that ruled his temper because Shinji had started to notice the REAL reality, the one he had successfully avoided for more than 100 years, and mainly there were two things bothering him.

First, it was the terrible sensation of blame that devoured him. He knew how Hiyori was, he knew that at the first provocation she would be flying without thinking into a direct attack, he also knew that the promise he made her do on the roof where he cornered her a couple of hours before the fight would do little to stop the 100 years fury she had been accumulating, so he should have taken precautions (better than just an oral warning), he should have forgotten about Rose or Love, two grown men that were completely able to think beyond rage and mockery, he should have used a bakudoh to seal her to his hip, he should have launched himself to fight alongside with her in the moment that he felt the pulse of her reiatsu on her sandal, he should have shunpoed to push her out of Ichimaru's reach or Aizen derogatory words, he should… and he should… and he should, but Shinji did nothing. He stood there with frozen eyes and open mouth until his brain registered, taking a couple of seconds, that the angry, grouchy, annoying girl had been cut clean in two.

Ironically enough, the second feeling that was chocking the life out of him had been a feeling that became clearer when he caught the injured Vizard. It was a feeling he already had a long time ago, before Hollows or Aizen, but it was an emotion he had refused to acknowledge in his mind, but with Hiyori's imminent death the words had been hovering in his mind nonstop: You love her. You really, irrefutably, undeniably are completely head over heels, unequivocally, all out, absolutely, full-blown in love with this silly brat that refuses to listen to advice and wears her heart on her sleeve when it comes to things that make her mad. At first, when he had a clear head and while he walked with the others – Hiyori conspicuously absent- in the warehouse direction after the battle, Shinji though that the 'I love you' had been just a brotherly love he had misunderstood because, and only because, the stubborn girl had gotten herself hurt, but with the passing of the days he realized that this pressure in his chest and his stomach wasn't the result of sibling affection, it was more like romantic-man-woman-kissing-in-the-mouth sort of love and it wasn't disappearing from his mind or his heart any time soon.

With the two feelings clouding his normal relaxed temper he spent his days alone in his room, in hers or on the rooftop just staring at an imaginary point in space and duelling over his own realization.

The 17th day after the winter war brought a change in the Vizards' routine. It was a warm winter morning on a Sunday when Hachi let the others know that someone was 'knocking' on the orange barrier he had placed over the warehouse and this someone had a Shinigami reiatsu. When all of them were outside, they could see a very tall, light-purple haired woman that wore a Shinigami hakama and the 4th Division lieutenant batch on her arm.

"H-hello…um…um…my name is Kotetsu Isane a-and Unohana Taichou send me to get all of you," The woman was clearly nervous and the frown and glares coming from a couple of the Vizards didn't help to make her calm down, "I mean, um to bring, to-t-to take you…um…to invite you, oh of course if you all want to go, u-um… to see Hiyori-san."

The last part had done the trick and looking over her shoulder and seeing Shinji would not answer or even flinch at the Shinigami, Lisa took the leader's role, stepping to the front and making a gesture with her hand to Hachi so he would lower the barrier. "Ok, we will go with you to see Hiyori." In a second she shunpoed in front of the visitor showing the Shinigami her drawn sword "But I hope for your sake that this is not a trap."

Panicking at the threat Isane gave a couple of steps back and started to move her hands in a peaceful sign, "No, no, no, I mean no. Urahara said you probably wouldn't believe me so he gave me this as a peace offering." She handed Lisa a small bell, like the one they used to communicate that the coast was clear when they first came to the Real World. At this Lisa gave a certain look and all the Vizards nodded. Isane understating the gesture had provided some kind of security rapidly added, "Unohana Taichou guarantees your safety because it had been proven beyond doubt that you all aren't a threat to the Gotei 13th even some of the Captains feel a grand debt to all of you."

"How did you plan to take us?" Kensei asked in an aggressive tone.

"Don't be rude and ungrateful Kensei!"Mashiro squealed lecturing him in delight. "Give the tall girl a breather so she can explain to us, you're so dummmmmmmmm Kenseiiiiiiiiiii."

"YOU! I'm gonna – I'll teach you!" The man tried to attack her but Rose and Love were there to stop him, and at that Mashiro stuck out her tongue and started chanting a little song of her invention called 'Kensei the baka'.

Clearing her throat and trying her best to ignore the ruckus, Isane requested 8 Hell butterflies that appeared instantly allowing everyone to go through the Dankai without a problem. "If you have no objection we can leave immediately." And she closed her eyes and smiled trying to imitate her Captain, not accomplishing her motherly look and showing more of her nervousness.

Almost all of them nodded, accepting a butterfly that had positioned itself on their shoulders, Isane opened the Senkai door in a flash and they started to go through it, just like old times.

The Dankai felt weird for Shinji or at least walking in it felt like the last 100 years of his life weren't there and he was simply casually going back to his 5th Division barracks from a long mission. He rubbed his temples with both hands and sighed very audibly.

"Something bothering you?" And with a small jump Shinji noticed Hachi was walking next to him a couple of meters behind the small group.

So keeping his eyes in the front he voiced a simple, "Nah."

"I suppose you're excited to see-" And Shinji turned his head and threw the dirtiest look at the amicable giant reminding Hachi that the name was taboo for the Vizards, "her, to see her."

"I don't care. I'm coming because if I would have refused, Lisa would have my head on a stick and my noble parts thrown to the dogs."

Hachi chuckled at his excusable reply, but in a second he recovered his normal composure. "You should be, excited I mean. She gave us quite a scare, and it is comprehensible you don't know exactly how to act about seeing her. But keep in mind she is very strong and has deep feelings for you too. For example, she was more worried about you fighting against Aizen than the fact that she had been mortally wounded. She knows she is very lucky to have someone like you that could catch her."

And with that, the Kidoh specialist throttled his steps and engaged a conversation with Mashiro about how the walls of the Dankai were made of brains and octopus tentacles, a topic that the green-haired Vizard had proposed.

Shinji was perplexed. Everybody knew except for him? It had been clear to all the Vizards and all the Captains of his time that he was in love with her? It was stupid! It was moronic! And certainly it couldn't be true!

"But it is Pharaoh." A dark voiced echoed in his head. "EVERYBODY knew you were lovey-dovey with that tiny spit-fire blond." Chariot said enjoying the confusion and suffering all these thoughts were giving his host.

Making his reiatsu push the Hollow out of his head Shinji kept dueling over the words Hachi had told him, and the ones Unohana had said too. Yes, he was in love, but the magnitude of his feelings was so obvious to everybody? Well, it hadn't been for him, why was it for everybody else? I wonder if it was also obvious for her… nah what I'm thinking, knowing her if she had realized she would have push me away or killed me, either or. And he chuckled at the imaginary scene playing in his head. Of all the time he had been pondering over the events that happened in the winter war, this had been the first time he had pictured the girl in an everyday situation kicking his ass, and it was something that made him smile.

Fuck, it's true…I'm in love with her and I miss her. I'm sickening, he thought while he hung his head and bowed his back walking looking at the floor.

"Hirako-san," The voice of the tall Lieutenant woke him up from his thoughts and made him realize that none of the Vizards were in front of them anymore and another Senkai door was open, but this time it was leading to Seretei.

He crossed over with large steps and it felt at home.

Everything was the same, the weather, the buildings, the rushing Shinigamis, even the smell was the same. Shinji took a deep breath and closed his eyes focusing on the feeling, but after a seconds he opened them and walked close to the others putting his characteristically Cheshire cat smile on.

"Let's go." He said; any confused mood and suffocating feelings forgotten.

Rose gave a comforting smile to Lisa, which she returned, relieved, and along with the others walked in the direction of the 4th Division, ignoring the stares of the confusing members of the Gotei about who those mysterious people were. Isane also in a lightened mood took everybody to the floor where the recovering patients were and opened the door marked as Sarugaki, H.

"Oh no, not again." Isane moaned hitting her forehead at the sight of the empty bedroom. Shinji grinned and almost all the other Vizards chuckled. Hiyori staying still in one place was definitely not one of her characteristics, and the open window and the lack of her body on her bed could only mean she had recovered enough to escape confinement.

"Isane." A sweet voice sounded behind everyone.

"Taichou, I swear this time I locked the windows and the door, I talked to her and explained the situation…. I even used kidoh to enforce the locks, an-" But the Captain interrupted the woman tilting her head, smiling and raising one finger.

"No worries Isane. Kisuke took Hiyori-san for fresh air as we weren't expecting our guests," and she directed a pointed look towards the Vizards and focused on Shinji, "so soon, but now that you are all here I'll be glad to take you to her. Shall we?"

The elegant woman conducted all the ex-Shinigamis down different halls in order to get to the back of the Squad, a place where not many people that didn't belong there knew existed. After a couple of turns Shinji started to guess where Unohana was taking them, and knowing like he knew the idiot it would have to be a place outside where she wouldn't feel trapped, maybe a garden. That would make Hiyori feel better and recover faster.

Still debating over some other thoughts related to the little spitfire, Shinji failed to notice that Rose was before him and had came to a complete stop, so he bumped into the wavy-haired man's back and almost tripped.

"Oi! Rose the least you could do is to say you're going to stand there like a freaking log!" Shinji practically screamed moving to the side to face Rose from the left, but when he noticed Rose wasn't paying any attention to him; Shinji followed the look of the bulging blue eyes that belonged to his fellow Vizard to find in front of the group a girl sitting in the grass fixing something metallic and putting some screws together. She was being accompanied by a man in green kimono and white and green hat.

There is no flipping way that THAT girl is Hiyori he voiced opening his eyes in amazement. She looked grown. There were not more words to describe it. It had been like these 17th days had been 110 years for Hiyori's body. She clearly looked taller, although she was still pretty short compared to an average woman, her face had lost her childish features to be replaced by a more mature tone, her hair still messy and unruly was done in one stubby pony tail instead of her infernal pigtails, but her ever frowning expression was still there showing how much her light brown eyes were concentrated on the task in front of her.

Kisuke less focused on the trinket they were fixing, noticed the presence of the Vizards right away, and looking directly at Shinji's expression, he couldn't avoid a smile. If he hadn't been there, he would have paid good money to see the actions that were about to unfold. When he got home he would have to tell Yoruichi all the details, so the cat-woman would die of jealousy.

Hirako Shinji and Sarugaki Hiyori reunion after everything, he chuckled. You really missed out this time Yoruichi-san.

Shinji still a bit surprised, pulled his eyes away from Kisuke to re-direct them to Hiyori, she looked so beautiful in that yukata – someone had forced on her obviously, judging by Hiyori's taste in clothes - and even without trying he opened his mouth to let a little and a small sound come out, completely involuntary and only audible for the owner of the name.

"Hiyori…"

She heard him call her and turned in the direction of the sound and opened her eyes as wide as it was humanly possible she replied also with a name.

"Shinji."

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A/N: I'm back! Sorry I've been MIA guys, but work had been hectic and honestly Kubo is NOT helping with his updates that last 4 seconds in the story, at this rate next year we will know what happen with the Vizards.

About the story what do you guys think? Actually it had been an idea that's been popping up in my mind since a couple of months, but I finally was able to write it.

I just want to confess that this is the FIRST time I actually write a chapter or a story where Hiyori is not directly in it (at least where she doesn't talk much). The closest I have been to do it was 'I dare you to move' in 17 ways of erase and rewind, that was kind of a Shinji centric chapter.

Anyway enough ranting, hope you enjoyed the first part and I promise I'll post the next one as soon as I can for your convenience let me anticipate that is already written and is being proof-read by me Beta, chapter 3…. Well, that one maybe would take a while.

Hugs and have a great V-Day ppl!

Kate