What would we do in a world without love?
Here I am...with Laxus. I love him. I can't imagine a world without him. Without loving him. Without his love for me. I wouldn't survive without Laxus and love. I'd suffocate. I would live without happiness.
If Laxus wasn't here to hug me. To caress my cheek. To hold me when I have a nightmare. To comfort me when Natsu rejected me. To kiss me. I don't know what I would do. Just the feeling that someone is willing to reach out to me and love me is an important feeling.
That day...when I first confessed to Natsu...was the third most painful day of my life. (The first being the day my father pushed me away on my birthday. The second being when my mother died.)
"Hey Natsu!~" I called to my best friend/team partner.
"Hey Luce! What's up?" he grinned to me like usual and I felt a small blush form on my cheeks. We were currently in the guild where everyone could see us, so I just grabbed his wrist and dragged him outside, to the back of the guild. "Luce? What's going on? Why're we going away from everyone else?" he asked me puzzled with that dumb and clueless, yet somehow attractive and cute, face.
"I have something to tell you Natsu." I whispered and released his hand.
"Luce? Go ahead then? What is it?" Natsu grinned as he urged me on.
"I-I..." I can't chicken out now! I've been meaning to tell him this ever since that day he saved me from the fake Salamander! My thoughts flew furiously threw my head and my blush intensified as I turned to face him. "I...I like you Natsu!" I finally burst out made direct eye contact with him.
His dark black eyes widened momentarily until they softened with some kind of understanding. I felt my face go on fire and was surprised when he grinned that same grin.
"I like you too Luce!" my heart fluttered and I smiled back until, "You're my best nakama!" My face froze and I felt time stop. Natsu pulled me into a hug, but I was immobile. The shock ran through me the same way the shock of my mother's death struck me. Like I was hit by lightning. A painful lightning. I was still frozen when Natsu pulled away and continued as if nothing happened, "you could've just told me inside the guild with everyone else Luce! No need to drag me all the way out of the guild. Well I'll see you inside!" he waved and ran back. I just stood there. Frozen. Like a statue.
The dense idiot has no idea what the effect of his words on me have. I clench my fists and grit my teeth. Tears start pooling at the edge of my eyes and I reach a hand for my keys.
"Gate of the Lion, I open thee! Leo!" my most trusted spirit appeared before me in a flash of light.
"How may I serve you tod-" Loke cut himself off with one glance at my face. Bangs overshadowing my eyes. A look of death engraved into my expression. A few tear marks down my cheeks. My lips molded into a sinister smile. "What happened Lucy?" I shook my head and looked him straight in the eye.
"Loke. I don't want to go inside the guild so would you please grab a job for me that will take a long time and meet me by my house?" I asked him sweetly.
"But Lucy-" he tried reasoning with me first.
"Now." I commanded with a tone he wouldn't dare talk back to.
"As you wish Hime-sama." he reluctantly bowed to me and darted inside while I snuck my way around the guild building and back to my rented house. I had just closed the door behind me when Loke reappeared by my side. "Here's a job for you Lucy. But please tell me what happened?"
"Good. Now where is it at?"
"We need to go to Mt. Hakobe to defeat a few Vulcans who have been running berserk." he informed me worriedly.
"Vulcans?Those takeover monsters right? How many?" I strided over to my room and just bombarded the spirit with questions and requests.
"Only ten. I figured it's far enough away to your liking and it's not impossible for you to complete. the reward is 100,000 jewel."
"Thank you Loke, you may go now. But please help me pack my luggage to store in the Spirit World while I'm gone." I ordered him and he bowed before leaving to pack my stuff for me. I made my way to the shower and took a bubble bath. The strawberry scent of my shampoo and soap filled my lungs and calmed me down a bit. I relaxed a little and allowed a few tears to fall into the bathtub.
I came out of the bathroom with a clouded expression, and depressed mood. Loke was already gone with my luggage and had laid out some clothes for me to wear tomorrow and to sleep in. I smiled and pulled on the comfortable cotton. After downing a glass of water, I finally slid into the secure warm comfort of my bed and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
Luckily, Natsu had decided to stay out of my house for the night and I was able to escape to the train station unnoticed. It was still the early morning and I boarded the early train to avoid Natsu, Erza, Wendy and Gray from keeping me from getting my peace of mind after last night.
Natsu unknowingly rejected me so bluntly. It may be in his nature to be the densest person on Earthland, but that was too insensitive for me to handle. Baka Natsu...
I made my way to Mt. Hakobe and cleared out the Vulcans with ease. I called out Virgo to deliver the current month's rent to my landlady so I don't have to worry until next month. I kept Loke company as I made my way to chill at a hotel in Shirotsume Town.
"Lucy. Please tell me what happened! I don't want to see you sad like this!" my spirit begged me to spill, but it's too painful for me to say.
"Thanks for accompanying me Loke. I'll be fine now." I ignored his pleas and made my way to the shower. "You can go back now."
"But Lucy-"
"Forced Gate Closure." The lion finally disappeared with a wave of his key and I stepped under the warm, rushing water. This water is too hot...it's reminds me of ... I grit my teeth angrily, not willing to think of this accursed man again. In my fit of depression, I turned the water to ice cold. Gray...That's better than... I felt bad about leaving the ice mage behind along with Erza and little Wendy, but I can't stand to be around anything acquainted with him.
Eventually I finished my cold shower and resigned for the rest of the day, curling into the warm comforter of the bed.
This is where my life started. My life without love. I experienced the painful world without love. Natsu rejected me and I fell into despair for such a long time. I felt excruciating pain and depression. I was suffocated in this world without love.