AN: Reader, if you find things wrong with this story, anything at all, please tell me. That's all I will say on that subject.

Also, if you haven't started watching Once Upon A Time In Wonderland yet, start immediately, because it is by far the most criminally underrated new show since Alcatraz. Trust me on this, it will hook you right from the start, bad romance, bad CGI and all.

Science? I don't need no stinking science! Sanity-free storytelling, that's the order of the day from me!

R&R and enjoy!

Scarlet and Raven

Chapter 1

"For the last time, Will," the Red Queen said in that horrible simpering voice of hers, "you need to learn this. Good things never happen to good people." She waved her hand in the direction of the nearby lever, and as the resident torture technician pulled on it, the chains on the rack stretched Will Scarlet's body ever closer to the breaking point. The only reaction that escaped from him was a small, strangled cry of pain, further muffled by his gritted teeth.

The Red Queen sneered down at him again. "This look is really not becoming, Will," she said. "Spare me the disgust of seeing your mutilations and just tell me what I want to know."

"I've endured your torture this long," said Will. "I think I'll keep on defying you. If only I could spit in your face right now."

"That can easily be arranged," said the Queen. "All you need is some water, no?" She crossed the room and picked up a pitcher and cloth. "Drink up," she said, slamming the cloth over Will's face and pouring the water onto the cloth. Instantly, Will started thrashing and spluttering as the Queen's simulated-drowning torture took effect.

Underneath the water attack, however, Will was able to hear something else - a faint metallic clinking from the chains around his ankles and wrists. He couldn't see what was going on, but somehow he knew. It's about bloody time, he thought dimly as the water continued to flow into his mouth and nose, impeding his breathing. Finally the Queen stopped, and Will moved his arms experimentally. Sure enough, they could move freely now, meaning that he had been set free after all. A less experienced man might have suspected that it was some trick of the Queen's, but Will knew better. In fact, he could easily see the faint shape of his rescuer crouching in the corner, the better to avoid being seen.

Quickly as possible, Will yanked the chains off their hooks and wrapped the one binding his wrists around the Red Queen's neck. "One move and you're dead," he whispered as menacingly as he could.

"You wouldn't dare," the Queen whispered back, equally menacingly.

"Maybe I would, maybe I wouldn't," said Will. "Either way, I'm gonna get out of here whether you like it or not. Rabbit!" He signaled the small quivering form in the corner, whose shadow shrank as he tossed a bundle of clothes Will's way. Then the Rabbit turned to the wall and started forming a hole with his palm, a swirling spiral of light that filled the room with an unearthly white glow.

"Good luck with your war, Your Highness," said Will, mock-saluting her as he leaped into the rabbit-hole and crash-landed on a pile of large hard lumps of stuff, all surrounded by a flimsy, noisy barrier of some kind. "Oof," he groaned. "That was murder on my balls, that was."

"Just get dressed already," said the Rabbit, dusting himself off as he clambered off the pile of lumps, which Will now noticed was contained in a large, open metal box. "A little bit of advice - don't ever let me see you naked again."

Will rolled his eyes as he donned his trousers. Then he stopped and sniffed the air. "What is that stench? I know it's not me." He sniffed his armpit and added, "Yeah, it's definitely not me."

"That would be the stuff you're sitting on, I'm afraid," the Rabbit said, taking off his rose-colored spectacles so he could clean them. "It's the trash of this world."

"You mean to tell me you landed me in a pile of garbage?"

The Rabbit put his spectacles back on. "I assume it beats being tortured by your ex-girlfriend?" When Will gave the barest of nods in response, the Rabbit continued, "Well, here you go."

"What are you gonna do now?" asked Will as he put his doublet back on. "You can't go back to Wonderland now, can you?"

"I'd like to see Anastasia try to stop me," said the Rabbit proudly. "She couldn't even stop me getting into her Fortress of Death."

"Don't call it that," said Will. "It's inaccurate. Nobody actually dies there."

"Given the chance, I'm sure the Queen would have made an exception for you," said the Rabbit.

"I suppose you're right," Will conceded as he slid out of the big metal box of garbage. "But honestly, where are you going to go, Rabbit?"

The Rabbit shrugged and scratched one of his ears. "I hear Agrabah's lovely this time of year."

"I see," said Will. "Good luck, then, I guess. You're gonna need it."

"Same to you," said the Rabbit. "You have no idea the sort of stuff this world's got going on. Just don't come back until I come get you, got me?"

"How will you find me?"

The Rabbit winked. "The rabbit-holes have worldwide coverage in all realms," he said, as he made another hole in the wall behind the big metal box and jumped into it.

"Whatever that means," said Will, even though nobody else was around to hear. He looked around and realized he was standing on some kind of road, made of what looked like a bunch of gravel bits glued together with thick tar, bleached to a medium gray by long hours of sunlight exposure. In one direction lay a series of buildings in a veritable rainbow of colors, all two or three stories high, with metal contraptions sitting in spaces on the road, marked by white lines of paint. In the other direction lay a bigger version of this street, with more of these metal things racing up and down the street at speeds higher than any horse in Wonderland or Agrabah or even the Enchanted Forest were capable of.

Despite the fact that it looked less safe, Will decided to head for the bigger street. Luckily, there was a flat stone walkway running alongside the street, entirely devoid of metal contraptions, but with a few people walking up and down in both directions. Will started walking up the street, in a direction he suspected to be south, because the sun was setting to the left. That is, if the directions in this world are the same as in Wonderland, he thought.

Will walked on, up the street, finally finding a smaller road that he felt more comfortable traveling on because it was less busy, and any metal contraptions using it were traveling more slowly. But even that was not enough, because he soon found himself almost being hit by one of these contraptions, a sand-colored one with a symbol on the front vaguely resembling the letter "T." Will was forced to duck out of the way, and he ended up taking a major pratfall onto the stone walkway.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" cried a female voice, as a brown-haired, pale-faced girl, wearing black clothes and a hard white shell of some kind covering her forearm and left hand, opened a door in the side of the metal contraption and ran over to Will, offering him her uncovered hand to help pull him up. "Are you okay, guy?"

"Yeah, I am." Will dusted off his clothes and took a proper look at the girl. "Who are you?" he asked.

"I like your accent," she said, rather than answer his question. "Where are you from?"

"Er...Enchanted Forest originally," Will said. "But I've lived in Wonderland for about five years."

"Did you say 'Wonderland?'" the girl said. "Wow. Really? What's it like?"

"You've heard of Wonderland?" Will asked.

"Only in stories," said the girl. "I've always wanted to go there, though, even if it is just fiction."

"Trust me, girl, it's all real," said Will. "Perhaps too much so. I had to leave or else the Red Queen would've killed me. My name is Will Scarlet, by the way."

"I'm Alice Kingsleigh," said Alice. "Come on inside, I'll get you some other clothes. If you're gonna be here a while, might as well blend in as best you can." She took Will's hand and led him past her sand-colored metal contraption into a sand-colored building, which had been blocked from view by a tall willow-like tree, and which Will had just realized was a house.