A/N: This is my fourth story in the LJ JumperSlash community's 100 fic ultimate challenge. This uses prompts 92, unpredictable and 18, I like the dirt that's on your knees.
It's not every day David makes a brilliant comment, but it is almost every day that Griffin makes a witty one. Some people, especially David, take for granted just how much work goes into being witty. You had to think of all the things possible to do or say to be witty in a matter of seconds and you should probably have three backups just in case the first one falls through.
For instance… The day David walked into the living room wearing nothing but a pair of jeans made Griffin's heart stop. But everyone knows Griffin can't be caught off guard like that. Still, the brilliant statement that came out of his mouth to cover his open shock did nothing for the short jumper, nor did it hide Griffin's reactions to David's choice in clothing.
"Those pants are dirty," he'd said, monotonously and weakly. It was obvious he'd made it up on the spot. David had smiled.
"That's what happens when you go on hunts every day, Griffin. You should know that," he'd responded. "Though, I still can't figure out why the dirtiest parts of your outfits always tend to be the knees."
The problem with witty responses is that you have to come up with them really quickly or else they're lost in the moment and don't make sense or seem lame. However, the first witty response to come to you isn't always the brightest idea and sometimes you can end up looking a fool anyway. So in truth, being witty is quite a difficult job. It's especially difficult when your mind is too focused on the curves of your conversation-buddy's chest. So obviously, Griffin's witty response lost all pizzazz.
"That's what happens when you work all day on your knees to keep your partner up and living," he'd said. Then a sexual definition of that statement hit him and he blushed like an idiot. David looked shocked and stopped messing with his watch. After a moment he smiled. He walked up to Griffin and stood by his chair.
With his cocky little smirk still in place, he leaned down and looked Griffin right in the face. Then he spoke and his freshly brushed teeth sent minty breath right into the English jumper's nose.
"Trust me, Griffin. That doesn't take all day," he teased.
Another thing you need to be a good witty person is spontaneity. You have to be unpredictable, and David certainly was. He pinned Griffin to the couch and kissed him hard on the mouth. Griffin let out a sigh between the kisses.
"That's what she said," he managed to say between their lips. David pulled back and regarded Griffin curiously. Then, without another moment passing, David's face broke into a grin and he started to laugh. Griffin smirked. Yes. It was hard to be witty, but it was not nearly as hard as the wall would be when Griffin managed to push David up against it.