Waking up to a place she never seen before, that was new to Alison Hendrix, the suburban soccer mom. Her stomach felt like fighting and her hands were shaking. One hand. The other one was firmly bandaged and taken care of. Was it broken ? She didn't felt pain. Not that type. Her head hurts, migraines hitting their maximum and she wanted to vomit. She had to. She had to get it out.
She ran to the bathroom and she literally emptied everything she swallowed the day before. Were it drugs or alcohol. Her body couldn't handle it anymore. Sitting at the ground, supporting herself over the toilet, ready to go once again, she realized what a mess she was. Literally fucking up her most important event, making a fool of herself in front of her whole neighbor, destroying her one chance to be a star. And for what ?
Because of guilty conscience. Because she let her best friend there, letting the disgusting machine choke the last bit of air from her lungs.
Now, sitting on the ground, staring at the dirty toilet, she realized that maybe this was how Beth felt. This was the point of no return, and maybe, maybe, she should do the same. Were it not for her kids, she would have done it far more sooner.
She heard the door being unlocked. Flushing the toilet, she tried her best to clean herself, do her hair a bit. She was more than sure that Dyad again made a mistake and this could all be sorted out.
However, when the door opened, revealing a face she knew so well, Alison was truly thinking of signing herself to the first rehab center she could find.
There she was, staring in the eyes of her identical that held a silver tray that contained a glass of water and a plate of food that was freshly made. The scent said as much. But Alison had no way of knowing that. She had no idea what was on the tray, nor did she cared. Her eyes studied the face in front of her as she slowly walked back, irritation present on her tired face.
Could it be ? Was she truly losing her mind ? Seeing ghosts now ? There was no way Elizabeth was standing in front of her, holding a tray of food, having that guilty smile she always had. There was no way. Drugs did their work. She was hallucinating over her dead lover. Amazing. Alison set down, her hand touching her forehead, laughing at her stupidity. She was losing her mind.
The person smiled sadly, putting the tray on the first solid furniture she could find. "You should get something into your system, Ali" she said, wanting to get out, wanting to not look into those yes & see what was present there. Confusion. Sadness. Anger even. All those things that made Alison, Alison. She had every right to be angry. "I don't need to listen to a hallucination. A dream ! I'm still sleeping and I'll wake up in my bed with my stupid monitoring, snoring husband beside me !" Alison yelled, trying her best to block this dream away. She didn't wanted Beth, even if a dream one, seeing her like this, pathetic wreck she has become.
Elizabeth laughed, sitting next to the soccer mom, hand touching hers. "He always seemed like the type to stab you in ass. I guess my bullshit meter wasn't lying" a weak laughter from both women weakened the thick atmosphere in the room. Alison didn't wanted to wake up. Feeling Beth's touch once again felt like heaven. Her pain disappeared into oblivion.
But it will be back once she'll wake up. It always was.
"I thought you promised me something ?" came a question, asked with a weak, broken voice. Alison looked into her double's eye, laughing. True. She had promised to not harm herself, but how could Beth remind her that ? She was gone. She took her heart and left and everything hurt. It was all her fault Alison was like this. She wanted to yell and accuse her and argue with her but what was the point ? One cant win against a ghost. So, instead, she tried something else. "And I thought you promised me something so it seems we both effed up" Alison whispered, feeling a lonely tear going down her cheek. Beth laughed at the silly answer. "You were always so cute saying eff. Like you wanna swear but you don't wanna swear at the same time" Beth smiled, seeing her lover sobbing, she traced her finger over Alison's chin, lifting her head up. The broken gaze of her most beloved person broke her heart. "Hey, its all gonna be alright. Donnie wanted to send you to a rehab but its off. We made sure of that, me and Angie" she smiled, remembering how Angela came into Beth's hideout all frustrated and angry about a certain soccer mom. "She's a good friend, Ali. Told me how you send her to hell, how you've seen through the lie we managed to pull on. I told her it wouldn't work. You're far too clever to fall for something as trivial as a suburban cop in disguise" she smiled again, pushing hair out of Alison's face, her eyes never leaving hers. "Felix was the hardest part though. He wouldn't trust her with you and I can't say I blame him. He's a good friend. I'm glad you have him" Elizabeth said, caressing her lover's cheek, but only more sobs came and she hugged the soccer mom, carefully to not hurt her damaged arm. "Its alright. I'm here" she whispered into her ear and at that, Alison laughed.
"No you're not" she said weakly, voice broken, as was her heart again. Of all dreams she had with Beth, this was the most realistic one. She could feel the touch, feel her breath on her ear, feel the hands enveloping her sobbing body. That's why it hurt the most of them all. "You're dead, you left and when I'll wake up you'll be gone and I'll be alone again" Alison let out all her tears, not caring anymore. Why should her own dream judge her ? She could do whatever she wants. Beth quickly shook her head, signalizing a no. "You're never alone, Ali. I'm always with you, even though you don't see me, I always see you" Beth rubbed the soccer mom's back, trying her best to comfort her. To reassure her that everything will be alright in time. "I don't want to go back. I don't want to be alone anymore. Beth I killed her. I killed Aynsley and I effed up. I can't do this anymore" Alison let everything out and Beth could already feel her shirt being soaked in her lover's tears. She didn't mind. It had to be done. "I know, Ali. I've seen you and like I said before, we made sure that nothing will lead to you. You left a lot of hand prints around the scene, honey" Beth tried to sound funny but it didn't helped at all. True, she spend the better part of day with Angela, taking care of evidence, making sure that it really was a accident.
Beth pulled Alison away, staring directly into her eyes as she held her face with both of her hands. "You're not a murderer, Alison. It happened and you can't do anything about it. You're never alone, either. I'm always near you, watching you like an old creep, but I cant help myself. You're a good, beautiful person, and trust me, alcohol and drugs wont help your conscience. It never will. You have to accept the fact that she's dead and you're alive. You're here and I'm with you. Forever. I'm not going anywhere Ali, alright ?" she asked but received no answer. Alison just stared blankly, not really taking in the moment. Feeling Beth's touch was more than enough. Beth pressed her forehead against Alison's, wanting her to realize that none of this was a dream. That she's here, with her. "We'll get through this. Together. I wont let them send you away to that place. I've been there more times than I can count and it just doesn't work. Not when you don't have someone to fight for. Not when you are alone and frightened. And that wont happen to you Ali because I'm here and a I'll help you get through this. I'll be the support rock you need" Elizabeth said and closed her eyes, unable to keep tears falling down her face. It was too much for her. She should have never seen Alison the way she is. It hurt on so many levels, it simply wasn't right. Alison, the lovely suburban soccer mom simply didn't deserve this.
She heard a cynical, broken laughter. "You're dead. You can't help me" said Alison, not really caring for anything at the moment. She wanted Beth back, to be the things this ghost said. She needed the support her husband didn't gave her. She needed her love and her warmth. But what of it ? It was no longer possible. Elizabeth opened her eyes, her fingers caressing the wet skin soaked by tears. "I'm here" she whispered with enough power to convince everyone, everyone but Alison. She knew these type of dreams. She had them before. Not as realistic as before, but still. But could it be ? Was there even the tiniest hope of this not being a dream ? Could her lover be with her right now, holding her this close, staring into her eyes like there's tomorrow ? "Prove it" the challenge was spoken.
Beth took it.
She pressed her lips gently against Alison's, her fingers caressing her neck, holding her in place as she closed her eyes, savoring the moment. They had better kisses, Alison tasted terribly but still. She missed the warmth. She missed her lover too much to care about tastes.
Alison did not knew how to respond. What to do. Where to look, where to touch. She was being kissed by her dead lover and...it felt perfect and she didn't cared how weird it was. It was all strange but this was real. She could tell. Nothing could ever taste as good as Elizabeth Childs.
The kiss ended and Beth smiled, Alison feeling breathless. "You taste like shit" Beth said, laughing.
It was true, Alison knew that. She slapped her anyway. Beth was surprised but not really. Her hand went to caress the red mark on her cheek. "Hand is still good though" she laughed, seeing how Alison finally smiled made her happy. The temporary pain was worth it. "Sorry" Alison said weekly, covering her mouth in confusion and surprise. She was terrified and happy at the same time. "Don't be, I probably deserved that" Beth said, still rubbing the red mark on her cheek. She smiled, shaking her head as she heard the apologize. Alison laughed, for the first time in what feels like forever. "Yes you did" she said, using her one hand to grab Beth's shirt, wanting to kiss her again. Beth complied, missing the soccer mom's lips already.
They kissed for a few moments, gentle, nearly ghostly touches and smiles but it was perfect. For now, it was all they both needed. The kiss ended again and Beth couldn't help herself. "You still taste like shit though" she smiled, pressing her forehead against her lover's. Alison smacked her arm, lying down on the bed, finally feeling her stomach being stable for now. "Shut up, corpse" she said and Beth bursted into laughter. Black humor. Always the best ice melter in conversations.
"Ow, right in the feels, Ali" Beth gripped her chest, just where her heart was. She went up and brought the glass of water, pouring a white powder in it, offering it to Alison. The soccer mom tried to ask but Beth already explained how it will help her with sleep, that its all perfectly natural. She took it gladly. Beth placed the glass back on the night stand, lying down on the bed beside the soccer mom. Alison went closer, resting her head on her chest, listening to the one of the most important heartbeats in her life. It was perfect, as Beth's chest rose up and down, an evident sign that she was alive. She kissed her through the fabric, mumbling a silent sorry. Beth closed her eyes, her hand went to caress Alison's cheek, resting in her messy hair. Alison enjoyed the gently gesture as her breasts served as the best pillow she could ask for. "How ?" she asked silently, already feeling the water doing its deed. Her eyelids felt heavy and her breathing was more and more regular.
However, she was afraid to close her eyes. Afraid that the police officer that held her so closely to herself would leave again.
Beth didn't know where to start. What to say. She tried her best however, Alison deserved as much. She explained how she found another nearly dead clone, how she gallantly sacrificed her own life for Beth's. How she went into hiding. How Angie helped with everything. How she stalked the love of her life with really no shame. She tried. She silently whispered her lover's name and she got no answer. She heard a slight snore and it hit her. Elizabeth looked down at the soccer mom in her arms, watching the angelic features. No matter how much they were similar, Alison was the single most perfect person she had ever seen. She called again, trying to wake her up. No use. Trying to slip away from the embrace, she was stopped by the iron grip Alison gave her. Even in her dreams, she held her, afraid of letting her go. Beth smiled and did her best to escape from this iron grip and she succeeded. Few minutes later. She went to Alison from the other side of the bed, taking off her shoes, her pants, the not very comfortable and ruined blouse and let her be in her underwear. She stared down at the beautiful body as she covered it with the quilt and she sat down on the bed, her hand tracing a line on her jaw, going into her hair to loose the uncomfortable ponytail.
She looked at her, her eyes scanning the broken woman that lied in her bed. She saw her like this a few times back but not like this. The power Alison had over her life simply went out of the window and that was something Beth knew that hurt. To lose entirely your control. To wait and see what happens. She leans down, kissing her forehead, wishing her goodnight. Sweet dreams. The door slowly opened and Beth knew. She raised her gun at the visitor, only to be greeted by annoyed sigh from her best friend who had bags of food in her hands. The flat she was in was small, but big enough for her. For her and Alison, together. For now.
As Alison woke up from her rather calm, dreamless slumber, her eyes opened rapidly, remembering the sweet dream she had. With Beth being finally back, with her. What stupidity, she thought. Dead cant go back. She wanted to go too. Everything started to hurt once again. But as a slight groan awoke her from her trance, Alison looked around her, only to realize that it was not a dream at all. The woman she loved the most in her life was holding her close, being the big spoon, her hands on Alison's chest, protecting her. Alison looked behind her, seeing as her protector slept peacefully, her gaze emotionless and yet so peaceful. It was rare to see Beth like this. Hell, it was rare to see Beth at all. She was dead, after all. Could this really be ?
Was Beth really her silent shadow ? Her silent protector that took care of everything that might hurt her ? Was she truly alive ? Or was this a simple mind game ? Who knew.
Right at the moment however, where the world stopped and the two identicals lied in each others arms, nothing mattered. All was simple and perfect. All was calm.