Her Lavatory

By xxkoffeexx

Disclaimer: I don't own Get Backers.

Caution: This idea just came up randomly and it's crazy. Really, really.

Before the apartment was built, the workers decided to test out a theory that would attract more buyers, and sketched out the interior of each room first. A small kitchen connected to the even smaller living room, and another bedroom that could only fit one person. Basic architecture for each apartment.

The bathroom, on the other hand, was king-sized. Where was the one place people felt so necessary to be themselves and comfortable in their own skin besides their bedrooms? Why, the place they groomed, washed, brushed, and used the toilet every morning. Thus, the workers hypothesized, larger bathrooms would interest more people into choosing their apartments.

So excited with this new idea of theirs, that they hastily installed the necessary items in the bathrooms before building the walls around it. In the end, the bathroom was almost as big as the living room. Despite this tiny error, the workers were proud of their work and anxiously waited for the buyers to start coming. They had no doubt that in a matter of days there would be enormous amounts of people begging to come live in their apartments.

Those days went by, weeks, and even months without a single customer coming to ask whether the rooms were up for rent. So, with heavy hearts and painful threats to their empty bank accounts, the workers tore down almost all of their beloved apartments. But just to be sure, they decided to let one stand, hoping at least one person would be interested in the magnificent bathrooms.

Fortunately, a landowner searching for some unusual properties liked the bathrooms very much, and decided to take care of it. The workers were satisfied, and went off to build another more prosperous apartment.

The landowner spiced up the apartment and soon enough, buyers started coming in, eager to live in these "double-comfort" rooms that were suddenly for lease. Or maybe it was because the area was beginning to become more urban and people were looking for places to live. In the end, the lonely apartment became teeming with life.

So what does this virtually pointless piece of history have to do with anything?

Well, it so happened that a certain hakobiya had enough money from her jobs to rent out one of these famed "double-comfort" rooms. But she didn't buy it because of the almost-luxury-sized bathroom. It was the most decent, cheapest place close enough to keep an eye on Mido Ban but at the same time as far away as humanly possible (the workers sob from afar).

Of course, that hostility was in the past now (a year or so, to be exact). However, she grew comfortable with the small, yet home-like apartments and decided to continue living there.

But she still didn't care much for the bathroom.

And now, on this lazy, hot afternoon as she came back from a particularly difficult job wanting only to take a quick shower, eat and sleep, she cared for it even less. In fact, she cursed whoever thought of making these ridiculous sized bathrooms. (The workers continue to sob).

Because the towel rack was on the other side of the bathroom and she couldn't get out of the shower stall since Mido Ban was smack dab in the middle of it all. And she wasn't about to willingly reveal her body to another man even for a second, much less to the perverted half of the Get Backers. No matter that he's seen it all before (other women, not her).

Why is this bathroom so freaking large? She wondered for the umpteenth time. Never was she so grateful for the cheap, old solid plastic shower curtain as she was now. It was the only thing keeping her dignity in tact.

She had been relaxing under the warm, cleansing water, almost tempted to sing, when out of nowhere, "Do you sleep in here too?" Arrogant, definitely a smirk, the ring in the voice only meant one person.

"Ban!" she had shrieked, automatically covering herself. Of course, he couldn't see her through the very solid curtain, but she wouldn't put it past the infamous HEVN groping machine to find another way around it. Not that he would want to.

Ban, on the other hand, had come over to check up on her, as he'd promised (himself). He'd heard from Akabane (back at Honky Tonk) that she came back from a complicated delivery, so he decided to drop by and make sure she was taking care of herself, leaving Ginji to refuge in Natsumi from the creepy doctor. Naturally, when she didn't answer the door, he opened it himself (pick locking is not such a hard skill) and followed the sounds of running water. He opened the bathroom door the same way he had the front door, only with a lot more mischief.

He could feel the anger and embarrassment radiating from that unfortunately very solid shower curtain. He smirked, turning to face the mirror where he vainly fixed his hair.

The green-haired girl silently steamed under the hot water, speechless at the utter lack of common sense the man had. "What are you doing in my bathroom?" Her voice not only indicated she was outraged, but that there would be severe violent consequences very soon if he did not explain as soon as possible.

He waved a hand airily in only a way he could pull off, in spite of the circumstances. "Making sure you're not doing anything stupid. Like trusting those locks of yours to work. I suggest you change them." Trust Ban to turn an explanation into a heartfelt advice.

"Ban, I'm taking a shower. Get out."

"Why? It's not like I can see you." His voice was amused. Her eyes narrowed.

"Ban. Get. Out." She heard him chuckle under his breath and clenched her fists. Then the sound of the door opening and closing. She closed her eyes and let out a breath, willing herself not to get worked up because of a certain urchin head. She tried to get back what remaining fragments of peace she had left after that untimely interruption, but it was nearly impossible.

Five seconds later she gave up. Twisting the water valve off, she wrenched aside the shower curtain and gasped, eyes widening.

Leaning against the sink was Ban, smirking at her as if nothing was out of place. Her entire body grew red, relieved that he hadn't seen anything since she made sure to whip the curtains back swiftly. "Ban," she spluttered outraged.

"What?"

Her voice was dangerous, though a little shaken. "I thought I told you to get out."

"I did." Cool and confident, as always.

"Then what are you doing in here," she gritted out, violet eyes glaring.

Amusement laced in his voice. "I have to go." It took her a moment to register what 'go' meant.

That bastard...! "Well, you can't because I'm going to come out. Get out." Her tone was calm now, but inside she was simmering. Just wait till I get my vials. You'll be so sorry. Never mind that this was the grandson of the Witch Queen and the legendary wielder of the Jagan, plus the power of 200 kg.

She heard him shift. Then he said, "Fine. But I don't know how you're going to dry yourself..." He trailed off meaningfully.

She frowned. "With a towel, of course." Unless... He wouldn't...

A pause. Her eyes widened again. "Ban, where's my towel?"

Another pause. She could practically feel his smug air permeate the air.

"Ban--!"

He put his hands up defensively, still smirking. "Hey, hey, I didn't touch it. You just forgot to replace it." It was true. Mentally he noted to remind her not to work herself too hard or else she might forget something more important in the future.

Himiko debated whether to yell at him some more or just keep cool until he gave her some towels. She opted for the latter, as it was getting cold staying wet. "Will you get me a towel?" Please, please, let him cooperate. No more of his arrogant comebacks.

The retriever paused. There was a slight tired hint in her normally sharp voice, so he decided to just let it go. He straightened. "Where are they?"

She was surprised, but she didn't show it. "In the closet outside, by the door." She heard him open the door and slide open the closet door before coming back in. A hand appeared behind her, holding a fluffy, white towel. She took it, and after a moment said, "Thanks." Albeit gruffly.

He grunted. Typical Ban response.

She waited. He didn't move. "Well?" Silence. "Get out!"

"But I really do need to go." He was grinning. And ducked as a shampoo bottle flew. "All right, all right, keep your shirt on." She made a barely discernable noise. He stifled a chuckle as he strolled out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

She stuck her head out of the curtain to make sure he was really gone before coming out, wrapped in the towel. "Honestly, he's so immature," she muttered, though there was a little (tiny) affection behind the words. It was hard staying angry at an ex-ex-semi-childhood friend who saved her life more than a few times (though she'd rather die than admit it).

When she finished dressing and went out of the bathroom she half-expected him to be gone. But she wasn't surprised to see him reclining in the kitchen, popping her stash of snacks into his mouth. And even though it was her last batch, she let herself smile a tiny bit at the sight of the typically cool, arrogant, business-like Get Backer relaxing like a normal guy.

Then she went and smacked his head, berating him for eating her food without asking. He scowled and complained, as he usually did, taking back the snacks. They bickered like that for a while, until she finally asked him if he wanted to stay a bit for dinner (her latest client had been a restaurant owner and gave her some food as compensation for the hardship) and he answered cheekily if he had to pay, for which he received another sound smack. She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. He was half-smirking as well.

In the back (very back) of her head she conceded that having such a big bathroom wasn't so bad after all.

And far away, the workers' hearts were full of joy, finally able to rest in peace knowing that their bathrooms were fully appreciated.

END

A/N: I know that Himiko's apartment (never less bathroom) doesn't quite go... and it probably doesn't even make sense (the bathroom, this story), but, well, since Fanfiction allows dreamers to dream... I dreamt. XD Really, it's crazy. Sorry I'm so random. Go BanxHimiko!

Thank you for reading!