Gravity
Excerpt from Decode
Sara Bereilles
I stared at my rooms ceiling. The only light was the moonlight from the window, which left a square on my floor. I sighed. I knew I wasn't getting any sleep tonight. No matter how hard I tried, my mind trailed back to Edward. And for the first time in months I didn't fight it.
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long
I let the memories of him take me in. I started to remember the times where he would sneak to my window. He would say he couldn't sleep because of some family problem. I knew my dad would kill me if he knew but it never stopped me from laying out a blanket on the floor, thankfully carpet and a pillow every time. It also didn't stop me when I would end up on the floor next him.
No matter what I say or do
I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone
I was staring at the moonlit floor when a shadow appeared in it. I tensed looking thought my peripheral vision to see a familiar shadow. The shadow raised its hand and knocked a familiar beat. I let out a sigh, relaxing my shoulders. I quietly made my way to the window. I gestured to the shadow to go to the balcony.
You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much
Than to drown in your love and not feel your reign.
I quietly walked down the hallway, trying not to wake my dad. Thankfully, I heard him snore every step of the way. I opened the door just enough to get through and joined Edward on the balcony. He stood with his back to me. It was quiet with the exception for my footsteps. "What are you doing here?" I asked his softly. My voice was stern and confused.
Set me free, leave me be.
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.
He didn't look at me as he said "I couldn't sleep." I sighed.
"Edward..." He looked at me with so much sadness in his eyes, it was heartbreaking.
"Bella, please." he begged softly, "I've looked but I have no where else to go. Let me stay, at least for tonight. I'll be gone before morning just..." he trailed as he closed his eyes. When he opened them, they was even more sadness in them. If I turned him away now, it would kill him. "...please." he said softer than his other words. I knew I couldn't say no if I tried.
You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
I nodded my head not trusting my voice. I opened the door for him and lead him to my room. When he was in, he closed the door behind him. I laid down a blanket on the floor and handed him a pillow.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone
"Thank you." he said. I didn't respond. I just climbed in my bed and turned to look at my wall. I heard him lay down. A few minutes I heard his breathing slow down and become steady. He was asleep. I then felt my eyes get heavy. I closed my eyes and went to asleep.
Too soon though, I was awake again. I sat up. I turned my gaze to Edward.
Set me free, leave me be.
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
The moonlight was now on his face. It made him look angelic. I felt my heart twist. My mind was going back and forth. You shouldn't have let him in! One side said.
He had nowhere else to go, the other side reasoned.
Think of Carson! My mind told me.
I don't love him! I love Edward! I startled myself at the thought.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.
I love him? I shook my head no. I couldn't still love Edward. He hurt me way too much for me to love him. Still...why did I let him in again?
I live here on my knees as I
Try to make you see that you're
Everything I think I need here on the ground.
I broke out my mind's thoughts when I heard Edward move. His face was contorted with pain. He was still asleep but he was softly mumbling too softly for me to hear.
But you're neither friend nor foe though
I can't seem to let you go
I immediately knew he was having a nightmare. He kept tossing and turning. "Please...don't take her...no!" he mumbled. My heart broke as a tear came from his eye. Before my mind registered it, I was on the floor beside him.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
My arms wrapped around him, not caring if he woke up or not. He needed me. "It's okay. Edward, it's not real it's just a dream. I'm here." I told him softly. He visibly relaxed. A few moments his breathing was back to normal. "Stay...please..." he mumbled sleepily. I sighed softly. I then shifted into a more comfortable position beside him. "I'm right here." Always, I added softly in my mind.
Keeping me down
You're on to me
On to me and all over you
I woke up with the sun hitting my face. I blinked and looked over it where Edward was. He wasn't there. I sat up quickly wondering where he was. I'll be gone by morning, he said yesterday. I looked around and then at the floor as the tears built up in my eyes. He kept his promise. And for once I wish he didn't. I reached for his pillow without looking at it. I felt a sheet of paper on it. I pulled the pillow then I opened the note.
Thanks for letting me stay.
- Edward
I closed the note. I stood up and was about to drop it in the trash when something stopped me. I don't know what and I didn't try to figure it out. Instead, I got the key hidden in my diary and opened my bottom drawer. It held all my memories of Edward. Every picture, note, diary entry...it held it all. I dropped the note inside, closed it, and locked the drawer with my heart still in it.
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long