Sinking deeper in the cushions, exhaling a content sigh into the air tangy with the scent of cheese and pasta. Limbs are splayed on the soft cushions, cotton pyjamas limply clinging to her frame, comfortable and most importantly lacking the restriction of her work clothes. A lock of hair falls onto her face but it is quickly tucked behind her ear. The atmosphere is perfect for relaxation. She lets loose a symphony of girly chuckles because the need for it arose inside her. The glare from the television plays colours on her face and her eyes dance with the happenings on the screen. "Tom should seriously think of quitting cathood!" Then she laughs at her own joke, unfunny as it is. Suddenly, the shrill sound of the doorbell shatters her blissful zone that she has established herself in.
"Who is it?" She shrieks irately, peevish at the person who has decided to impose on her. There is no answer. Grumbling under her breath she stamps her way to the door and angrily yanks it open. Her heart leaps to her throat as the person is revealed, noticing first the bangs of autumn red falling carelessly over eyes that gleam with cool intelligence. It is him. "Hello Misa!" Time stops its steady crawl and she remains suspended in inertness. Astonished shock hits her hard, as she thinks mournfully, 'Of all the days in the world, why did he pick today to make a house call!'
The 5th Saturday of the month, the only time she vacated from her persona as the sexy, Lolita model Misa Misa. Teeth bit into pink, lipstick absent, lips when realization filters through the sexual thoughts jumbling messily in her head, she is currently sporting the oldest in Hello Kitty wear. Threadbare in some areas and dull, the colour lost to time and unwashable stains. Her usually luxurious golden hair is tightly knotted behind her head and untidily framing her face like a bad halo. She isn't prepared for a night out, hell she isn't suitable to be seen in public unless it is for a flogging.
Remorse knots Misa's stomach, as Light's girlfriend she shouldn't be anything but perfect. It is bad, very bad. "Misa is so sorry, Light-Kun! Misa didn't know Light would visit otherwise Misa would have been dressed for her Light." Unconsciously, she refrains from throwing herself into Light's arms, knowing that he had an aversion to disorder.
Sure enough, a furrow of displeasure forms on his forehead as he takes in her appearance.
Misa is not normally so lax with her appearance; it is because she is watching Tom and Jerry cartoons. Around that time, people's opinions on her dress sense mean little to her.
Her fascination with the cartoon began at the tender age of seven, for the most part her mother kept her on a daily diet of fashion shows, the health channel and Barbie movies. She claimed the Disney channel promoted fat with their badly proportional caricatures of mammals. Anyway, one day she happened upon the tale of a cat and mouse, using whatever means necessary to outwit each other, often in the most ludicrous ways. Little Misa was hooked, her childish imagination finally found an outlet. She couldn't quite explain it; somehow she was drawn to the 'mindless antics'.
She wanted to pour it all out to Light, give him a reasonable explanation as to why she is dressed so thoughtlessly. He is impeccable in casual wear, a neat maroon jacket over a spotless white shirt, with the bearings of the title he aspires to be. He is not dressed as showy as a prince.
No, Light had a more sophisticated, classier taste. Anyway, when have you ever heard of the fairy princesses refusing her prince?
Stepping aside, she ushers his welcome into her humble abode as sexily as possible.
Light's gaze wanders across the room, noting the dark velvet curtains, the strange stitched up dolls and a morbid creepiness that hung in the air. "Nice place!" He comments flatly, "Were you in the middle of something?"
Swallowing hard, Misa searches with shy desperation for a response that would accomplish her desires, plainly visible as they often are. "Tom and Jerry!" He observes, arching his eyebrows in amused interest, meeting her self-conscious gaze. "I used to love watching them as a kid!" A child-like glint in his beautiful eyes.
"You can watch with me!" Misa jumps at the chance to be next to her Light. How wonderful that they enjoyed the same cartoon. One more reason why they were destined to be together.
Her hand grabs his and she drags him to sit infront of the television. "This is going to be so much fun. Light and Misa watching cartoons." The squeal resonates in the room, nearly drowning out the soundtrack. She cements their evening of togetherness with a hug.
"Yeah!" Light murmurs, but his hesitance and dubious reluctance are lost on the blond. Or maybe she isn't as dense as she often acted. "If you do not want to watch cartoons, we can always do something else." Striking a suggestive pose, lustful is the pout and the batting of her eyelashes.
Lips compress into a thin line, he turns away, his full concentration on the chase sequence. Suddenly, he chortles in approval and for some vague reason, warmth fills her like creamy butter. It is a pleasure to see him so happy, not with eyes full of calculating and a guarded exterior that often kept her distant, much to her dismay.
"Do you do this often?" He inquires, spooning some pasta into his mouth. "Yeah, when Misa has the time." Shrugging her shoulders in a languid fashion.
"Did you always like Tom and Jerry?" A genuine, curious incline to his lips and attention on her that she can feel on her skin, it flushes crimson.
"Always –since I was seven and I couldn't sleep..."
'Because some stupid kids kept referring to me as mad misa.' "And cartoons helped to cheer me up." Said easily in high falsetto tone. "Hey, Look! I love it when Jerry does that thing with the tools!" Laughter ripples across his face for emphasis.
"Yeah! He is pretty cute when he does that!" However, eyes are fastened on her lover's young, bright face. A myriad of indistinct emotions play inside her like a tornado; confusion, hope, lust and whatever she is feeling at the moment that invokes a skip to her heart. It is strange that Light's presence is oddly disconcerting. She loves that he is near but-this is personal. Can she share this with him? For the first time, doubt slithers like an evil lizard into her mind.
This was her time away from being Misa and the second Kira. Him being here is-like all the bad things they are in cohorts with follow to pollute the one thing that makes her feel sort of innocent-like when her parents were alive and they cocooned her in a protective safety net.
A pigtailed seven year old, hiding from callousness and expectations with Tom and Jerry cartoons. Their rampant and imaginative fights were an escape from a world that derided, mocked and embittered her.
Mother and Father sitting beside her on the couch, the laughter echoing around her until she begins to regard the dictum as the truth. The world is an ugly place but as long as her parents are near, sharing her tears and laughter, the world cannot do much to hurt her. Tom and Jerry was the sweet reminisce of shattered dreams and childhood innocence cut too short by being drenched in blood one unfortunate night.
She had never shared it with anybody before, this laughter. Nervousness and uncertainty trickles into her veins. It isn't right! She had given herself to him wholeheartedly but to share this- is wrong. These were old, untarnished memories that Misa held dear to her heart.
Light must have felt the heat of her stare upon him, "This is fun!" Sparing her a glance, "Do you often watch children's cartoons by yourself?" Something sizzles under her skin, the words 'children' and 'by yourself' stung her like the cruel jabs at school. Her breath hitches in her throat, how blaringly apparent is it that he considers her a joke; he didn't even try to conceal it half of the time. She knew-but restrained from speaking her mind, anything for Light. He mustn't be offended by the words from Misa's lips.
Nevertheless, this is pushing it too far. "Light, I think it is better if you leave!" Upsetting and delving from the small reserves of her strengthened resolve. Puzzlement and small concern drizzle on his boyish features. Regardless of the repercussions that suffocates her, painting a drab uncertain future; Misa had made the firm decision a long time ago that Tom and Jerry is privy to her. The laughter shall not be shared with anyone. "Is something wrong?" Wrinkling his brows in consternation. If she didn't know him better than she did, she could be misled into believing that he cared and thought about her as a person instead of a screwable object.
It isn't plausible irrespective of how much her heart yearns to surrender to the idea that Light Yagami cared for her. "No!" Her breathing is suddenly rabbit-quick and heavy in her lungs. What she is about to do went against everything she venerated.
"Light, Could we do something else?" Blurting out in foolish simplicity, "I'm getting bored with cartoons." Her eyes evasively kept her from noticing and judging the enthusiastic scurry of movement on his face where further unanswerable questions are on the verge of his lips.
Barked out a laugh, eyes full of mirth with the brutal edge of insensitivity, "Since when do you get bored of cartoons?" To cover up her unsettling feeling that whirls restlessly inside her like small volcano, she leans closer, "Light, there are other things we can do!" Lowering her voice to velveteen softness. Her fingers reach out to trail a path down his arm; goosebumps blossom on her skin as she comes in contact with his heat. Eyes narrow in suspicious curiosity as he contemplated her behaviour. "Misa what is wrong with you tonight?" His voice changes, dropping to become low and tinged with speculation. "What is wrong?" She repeats dolefully.
In her mind's eyes, she is standing high and proud. Her eyes flare with justifiable anger and rancour while small quivers hold fast to her shoulders. 'Misa is sick of being nothing more to you than a picture in a magazine. I have feelings and beneath this hot body there is an actual person, who does all the fun stuff like going on dates and watching old movies. And I can be someone you can love and want to be around." She lets a pregnant pause permeate the stiff air. The confused, oblivious expression doesn't budge and his eyes continue to seek hers for a viable explanation. "I can love you Light!" Breathing is heavy and emotional, stemming from the ache and twisted need that needles her heart.
He climbs to his feet on his own volition, his eyes imploring hers for understanding. The frightened, worried look that hangs on Misa's countenance melts into a smirk of love-heady glee. For a second, she thought with her bold audacity she might have scared him away forever.
"I do see you Misa, I see only you, But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and you are the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief,
That thou her maid art far more fair than she:
Be not her maid, since she is envious;
Quaking shivers descend the length of her torso, her body enveloped in a joyful trilling that moves her heart and validates her romantic belief in true love. The speech is eerily familiar but it doesn't bother her as long as he means every word and it is truly from the heart.
However, she speaks none of it; lips sealed to unleashing her insecure thoughts about their relationship, there are so many ways he could hurt her enough to give up on men completely. The entire conversation is a dream sequence because she is fearful of the ramifications if she truly let him know how he wounds her already damaged soul and disturbs her child-like innocence.
If she is truly honest with herself then she would awaken from her self-imposed obliviousness to realize that he was the epitome of all the men she had ever dated and even slightly resembled the shadow of the stalker, who made the attempt on her life.
Their mutual gaze is unwavering and she searches for the soul that might provide answers but it is clouded over with obtuse shadow. Misa breaks away first, disquiet stirring her blood. "I wish you cared about me a little more." A soft whisper, as faint and breathy as the mewl of a desperate kitten. Light thinks she sounds pathetic.
It hits her how unreal it all is..like a reality show based on a fairy tale. When she tries to discern the depth of feeling from the pallid face in the mirror, morose insecurity radiating from her eyes. He exudes resolute confidence but not about her and she feels as if she is searching for an apple in a fruit shake. He is so naturally desultory that he gives no shape to his feelings and emotions and it leaves others feeling confused and doubtful. "Light!" Trying to influence his subsequent words through the imploring gaze of her eyes, full of wishes and hope.
Light averts his eyes for a second; his expression remote and shuttered. "I care a great deal about you Misa." The last vestiges of hope drains from her body, leaving her body with a frigid, desolate feeling of abandonment. Face convulses, tears starting at her eyes as she throws herself into his arms. He thinks she is so thick-headed that she cannot distinguish the thread of cold indifference, carefully blanketed in vapid emotion. But if the little emotion is all she can provoke from him..then it is enough. On the screen, Tom and Jerry attack each other, with such passion and intensity that it strikes a chord of longing inside her. Misa is envious of a cartoon, with no relation to reality..
Please Review/Read! Or will write your name in my deathnote. I am an avid lover of Light/Misa. There messed up relationship is fun to write!