Disclaimer: Beyblade does not belong to me. It belongs to some company in Japan

Title: Boys Don't Cry

Summery: 'And when he uses and abuses me I wonder to myself, why am I still here?' KaixTala

Warning: Yaoi. Don't like don't read

Speaking " Dun Dun Dun"

Thinking 'Ding Ding Ding'

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Boys Don't Cry

I run into the shower, blast on the hot water, scrubbing furiously at my skin, desperately trying to prevent the onslaught of tears begging to fall.

I gaze idly at the last of the water getting sucked in by the drain, the blood swirling within the clear water. The blood that came from me.

I towel myself dry, careful of the cuts and bruises scattered on my torso and stiffen as I hear His laugh.

I walk into my room, looking at my reflection in my mirror.

Dead.

That's the word that comes to mind when I see my reflection.

Dark rings around my eyes, dull, lifeless eyes, a bruise above my cheekbone, bite marks scattered across my neck, various bruises decorating my body.

I dress, putting a pair of linen white trousers, topped with a T-shirt, a black long sleeved sweater over the t-shirt.

I survey my appearance in the mirror, muster up a fake smile, cover up the bruise with some powder and sit down on my bed, chanting to myself.

'You can do it, you can do it, you can do it.'

I say that over and over again, hoping that I can believe what I'm saying, and gain some confidence and courage to enter the lounge.

A shiver runs through me as I think of the lounge, more specifically the people within the lounge.

He invited some friends over, told me to get 'cleaned up' and look pretty.

Hah.

Maybe if He didn't abusive me so, then I wouldn't have to get 'cleaned up'.

They've been here for about 20 minutes now, I can recognize their voices, He invited over Bryan, Johnny and Brooklyn.

I always wonder if they know how He's like to me, I think they do know; only they do nothing to stop it.

I remember once when He invited them over He'd just finished with me, and He'd hurt me so bad that I'd had to walk with a limp, my wrist sprained too. I'd covered it up with me being clumsy and falling down the stairs but I'd seen the smirks on Bryan and Johnny's face and known that they hadn't believed me. Brooklyn however had looked at me for the remainder of their visit with pity in his eyes. At least he wasn't condoning what He did to me, but he never tried to stop Him either.

I get up from the bed, brushing down my trousers, glancing once more in the mirror, flashing that pearly fake smile and left the room, walking to the lounge, stopping outside to breath in and out a few times, the chant of 'you can do it' pounding in my head, plastering my fake smile on my face and enter the lounge.

"Hello!" I greet warmly at them, nodding at Bryan, Johnny and Brooklyn, sitting down next to Him.

Brooklyn smiles at me while Bryan and Johnny smirk at me, Johnny throwing a wink at me.

"What took you so long Red?" Bryan asks, a slight leer on his face.

He answers before I can open my mouth.

"Oh, you know Tala, he was probably putting the final touches of make-up on his face, he's such a girl after all, aren't you babe?" He smiles at me, a soft smile if an outsider were to see it, I however knew that that smile meant 'agree with me or else'.

"Yeah, well…its one of the things you love about me, isn't it Kai?" I smile at him, not resisting as he pulls me towards him, kissing me on my lips.

I let him kiss me, but I don't participate in the kiss. A sharp pain in my ribs makes me kiss him back, I can almost hear the words 'you'll pay for this later' in the air.

He doesn't pull away until Johnny makes kissing sounds and Bryan whistles, smirks on both their face as we pull apart, Kai smirking satisfactorily. I will myself to blush 'cutely', plastering a shy smile on my face, the perfect role of a docile girl.

"Guys, I have an announcement to make." Kai clears his throat, holding my hands, a dazzling smile across his face.

'All for show…' I smile back at him, wondering what he wants to announce.

"I'm having a party next week, and I want you all to be there."

"What's this party in aid of?" Brooklyn murmurs, having been quiet since I arrived.

"Why, its mine and Tala's anniversary! We've been going out for a whole year come next Friday!"

I sit up, shocking coursing through me, quickly putting a smile on my face.

A year? A WHOLE year since we've been together? How can time have gone by so fast?

"And then after, we're going to have a little getaway holiday, I've booked us in for a hotel down at Devon. Isn't that great?" Kai looks at me, a warning in his eyes.

I shake off my numbness, give him a kiss on his lips and then hug him, exclaiming how 'wonderful and thoughtful he is', then pulling away to gaze adoringly at him.

He lifts my chin with his finger and kisses me on my cheek, whispering ever so quietly, "Good work bitch", leaning back into the sofa.

I stand up, a slight shake in my stance and murmur out something along the lines of getting dinner ready, almost racing to the kitchen, where I collapse onto the floor.

The tears come rushing down, a million questions going through my mind.

Why is having a party in honour of our 'anniversary'?

Why has he booked us into a hotel in Devon, and taking us to Devon, somewhere I always wanted to go?

Is he just playing mind games, or does he care for me, at all?

He can't love me, you don't hurt and abusive the one you love, you don't make them live in fear of you, that's not the way love works!

'But then why have you stayed?' A voice whispers in my head, and the only answer I can give is that I love him; I love that monster, even after everything he's done to me.

Pretty pathetic isn't it? The person who uses and abuses me over and over again, who I'm sure doesn't love me, has my heart. What can I say? I must be some sort of a masochist, taking all this pain and still living with him, loving him.

I sigh wishfully as I remember the first few weeks of meeting Kai, it's like this Kai is a complete different Kai from the old Kai I fell in love with.

I remember he was all smiles and charms, like a true gentleman. I remember when he asked me out, it wasn't just a 'will you go out with me?' sort of thing, he'd sent me little gifts, one gift a day for a whole week, before knocking on my door, all dressed up, a bunch of flowers in his hand, red and blue, both of our hair colours, inviting me to a play, and then dinner after to a posh restaurant, all on him. He never tried making a move on me, always dropping me off home, never coming in uninvited, keeping his hands to himself.

Funnily enough, I'd been the one to first initiate physical contact, I'd kissed him at the end of our forth date, having just came from a romantic stroll in the park. Even then, he'd restrained himself, leaving before it got too serious.

It was only four weeks after we'd first kissed that we'd slept together, him asking me a dozen times if I was sure, and god, he was so gentle with me, always asking if he was hurting me or not.

I don't know what happened to that Kai, I don't know when he turned into this new Kai, the horrid, smug, uncaring, abusive Kai, the one who practically raped me night after night, all that gentleness disappearing, never caring what damage he does to my body, just using it as his own personal punching bag.

I wipe away the last of my tears, banishing the thoughts of the past from my mind, instead concentrating on making the pasta, adding all the ingredients and stirring, grating the cheese, taking out the red wine for dinner, even though straight after dinner they'll all probably have vodka or whatever other alcohol Kai bought.

I clear up the mess I made, putting the pasta into a serving dish, taking out five plates and five sets of forks and knives, and five glasses, putting the grated cheese onto another plate, and taking them all into the dining room, having already set the table in the morning.

As I finish bringing all the food to the dining room I enter the lounge, calling them all in to eat.

I sit at the table waiting for the others to arrive, once again plastering a smile on my face, watching as Brooklyn's face lights up, pasta being his favourite food.

"Help yourselves to the food," I tell them all, sitting opposite Johnny and Bryan, Brooklyn at the side of the table, Kai sitting next to me.

"This is delicious!" Brooklyn tells me, a smile on his face, going for seconds.

"Thanks, I was a bit worried that it didn't turn out right." I tell him, surprised that he liked it.

"It's absolutely marvellous, you have got to give me the recipe for this, I bet you'd outdo a chef! Where did you learn to cook like this?"

"I just learnt I suppose, followed the recipe, added a few spices of my own. I'll write the recipe down for you after dinner, k?" I smile at Brooklyn, and he smiles back, reaching for the red wine and pouring himself half a glass.

I feel happy for the moment, appreciating the fact that someone enjoys my cooking. Since I moved in with Kai I've been doing all the cooking for the both of us, and never have I received a compliment from him, making me always feel as though my food wasn't very tasty, that I'd always go wrong somewhere.

Once, I remember I'd made some lasagne, and I thought it'd turned out nice, I'd enjoyed eating it. Kai however, thought it was disgusting, he'd told me I couldn't cook, and had thrown the lasagne in the bin, ordering a pizza instead. The next day I'd arrived home to see him in the kitchen, making lasagne, and when we were eating it he'd proclaimed that this was how lasagne was meant to taste, not the 'crap' that I'd made. I'd been really hurt by his comments even though I hadn't let it show, and since then I've always been doubtful about my cooking skills.

"Tala, Tala!"

I feel a shark kick at my leg and snapp out of my thinking, Johnny and Bryan looking at me as though I'm retarded, Brooklyn looking worried.

"S…Sorry, I didn't hear you, what did you say?" I stutter out, looking at Kai, his eyes almost glowing, angry that he'd have to repeat himself.

"I was saying, that for once you'd manage to make something edible." Kai practically growled out, a smirk on his face as he proceeded to tell Johnny, Bryan and Brooklyn how I made lasagne that tasted like crap and how he'd had to cook it to show me how it really tasted.

I sat there, mortified as he told them, my cheeks red in embarrassment, tears beginning to form in my eyes at the harshness of his words.

I ducked my head low, my hair covering my eyes, excusing myself amidst the sound of laughter. As I walked out I realized I didn't hide my eyes as well as I thought I did as I felt Brooklyn tug my arm, looking up at me in worry. I tried smiling at him, freeing my arm from his grip, leaving the room, not before seeing Kai smirking at me, a small glint in his eyes, having also seen the tears slowly trailing down my face.

I ran to my bedroom, burying myself into my covers, letting all my tears fall, ashamed and angry that Kai saw me cry, saw the emotional damage he did to me.

I'd always vowed after that first time he beat and raped me that I'd never cry in front of him, never let him see the damage he does to me.

I stayed in my room the remainder of Kai and his friends stay, only going out of my room once to slip the recipe into Brooklyn's coat pocket.

I'm lying in bed now, dressed in my pyjamas, waiting to see if Kai will go straight to bed, or come here first.

Incredibly so, we have different rooms, we don't share the same bed. Well how does he rape you then you might ask. It's really quite simple, he just stops here, beats and takes me, and then leaves, leaving me to tend to my wounds and clean everything up.

Sometimes, he calls me to his room, and that's when I know I'm in for trouble, I know the pain is going to be twice as bad. I dread that pain, I always hope he doesn't call me there every night, only sometimes are my prayers answered.

I stiffen as I hear the door open and pretend to be asleep.

"I know you're awake Tala, why do you insist on pretending to be asleep every time?" Kai drawls out, smirking as he pulls the bedcover off me.

I stay silent, looking everywhere but at him.

"Look at me you little bitch!" I feel a sharp pain on my cheek as Kai backhands me, grabbing my chin and pulling it towards him.

"You want it rough tonight, do you? Well then, that's fine by me".

Kai crushes his lips against mine, biting my lip, slipping his tongue inside my mouth as my mouth opens in pain. He kisses me hard and painfully, only breaking apart when he needs oxygen, leaving me gasping for breath.

Just as I get my breath back Kai bites down hard on my neck, red eyes watching me as I stay silent, my eyes closing in pain.

Kai rips my clothes off of me, moving to take his own off, lying on top of me, sucking my nipple for several seconds and then biting down hard on my nipple, clamping on until I have no choice but to scream, the pain getting too much for me.

"That's it bitch, scream like the slut you are." Kai mocks me, biting down on my neck again.

I feel something hard press against my stomach and I feel sick as I realize that he's getting turned on by this. Then again, I don't know why I feel sick, this happens practically every night.

I open my eyes, shocked to see Kai leaving so quickly, only to come crashing down as I see Kai enter the room again.

"Sorry I left you baby, bet you were feeling lonely, weren't you?" Kai asks, a smile on his face.

I grown even more confused as Kai lie down next to me, wrapping his arms around me, his nose in my hair.

"K…Kai?" I stutter out hesitantly.

"You have such pretty hair, have I ever told you that?" Kai murmurs into my hair, moving my face so that I'm looking into his eyes.

"It's our anniversary next week, looking forward to it? I know I am. I booked the hotel just by the beach, I know how much you like the beach and how long you've wanted to go to Devon. That's my anniversary present to you, do you like it?" Kai looks so sincere, I don't know what to expect.

Questions go through my head, why is he being so nice to me? Why isn't he hitting me? Why is he being so gentle with me? Is he changing? Is this the Kai I fell in love with?

"Tala?"

I smile at Kai, telling him that this is the best present I could ever ask for.

"Oh, I got you something else, let me just get it, I'm sure you'll love it." Kai kisses me gently on my forehead, moving off the bed and standing by the door.

"Oh and close your eyes, I want this to be a surprise." Kai leaves the room and I do as he says, closing my eyes.

Hope fills me; I think I've got my old Kai back, the one who loves me. God, I'm so happy! Maybe things will work out after all, things will get better. I hear the door open and resist the urge to open my eyes, a soft smile on my face.

I feel Kai over me; feel the bed dipping low as he crouches over me, his breath tickling my ear.

"Don't open your eyes yet, wait for the signal, alright?"

"What signal?" I ask Kai, confused.

"Oh, you'll know the signal." Kai murmurs out, taking my lips with his, kissing me softly, gently.

I kiss him back and just as I'm truly enjoying the kiss I feel a searing hot pain course through my arm and through to my body.

I scream out in pain, my eyes snapping open to see Kai in front of me, a cruel smirk on his face, a knife in his hand.

My arm automatically goes to my right upper arm, where I can see blood running down my arm.

"Well, do you like my surprise? It's really pretty isn't it? Do you know what I'm writing?" Kai asks me, a malicious grin on his face.

I shake my head at him, trying to keep my eyes open, tears coursing down my face, the pain in my arm unbearable.

"I'm writing my name in your arm, as a sort of 'forever' tattoo, to show everyone that you're mine and only mine."

Kai laughs then, a cold laugh, pushing the knife against my skin, making a small cut on my arm from the knife. I close my arms, trying to ignore the pain and scream out excruciatingly as Kai enters my body in one swift push, my body unprepared, my passage tight, at the same time pushing the knife deeper into my skin.

I scream out over and over again, as Kai thrusts in and out, over and over, carving his name into my skin.

"That's it bitch, scream for me, scream like you want it, scream cause you crave it, scream like the whore you are!" Kai yells out, his thrusts not hurting as much as before. I realize with a wave of nausea that I'm bleeding, and that my blood is acting as a sort of lube for him.

He comes, shooting his seed inside my bruised passage, while I lay there, body wracked with both pain and tears as he punches me, over and over, till I can feel his cock hardening inside me again.

He hasn't changed at all; he was only pretending to be nice so it'd be all that much sweeter to break me again.

And as he starts raping me all over again, only one questions goes through my mind.

'Why do you stay with him? Why do you allow yourself to be treated like this?'

And the only answer I can give is that I love him, no matter what he does to me I love him, I love him even though he uses and abuses me like a rag doll, rapes me whenever he wants and makes me live in fear of him.

I love him.

And it's as simple as that.

-Owari-

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Well, hope you enjoyed reading this! I worked very hard on this story and It took me quite a while to write it so I hope you all enjoyed reading this as I've enjoyed writing this!

The story's title is taken from the film 'Boys Don't Cry'. Its a great film, its really quite touching and really sad, based on a true story. Check it out if you have any spare time.

And I'm thinking of maybe writing Kai's P.O.V on why he acts like he does towards Tala, to show his side of the story, but I'm not sure yet. Depends if you want it or not, so do tell!

-Aki-