"Here you go," the doctor said as he placed the baby into Dillon's hands and stood back.
Dillon began to tear up as he stared into his baby girl's opened eyes. Her little blue eyes staring straight back at him. Her skin was pale like her mother and she seemed to have inherited his dirty blond hair.
"She's stunning… A little bundle of joy." Dillon whispered in awe. He smiled and kissed her forehead gently.
"I know that this is a happy occasion, sir, but I'm afraid that I have bad news for you…" the doctor said hesitatingly, trying to avoid looking at him in the eye. He hated this part of the job.
Dillon's brow went up and he looked at the doctor in confusion.
"I'm sorry to say this,… but your wife didn't make it…"
Dillon's mouth fell open in shock and he felt tears well up in his eyes. "P-p-pardon me?" he stammered. He didn't really believe what he had just heard. He didn't want to.
"I'm afraid that there were some complications with the birth and we couldn't save her. We tried our best,… but it wasn't enough. She died…" The doctor said sorrowfully and bowed his head in shame.
The only thing that Dillon felt was the numb feeling in himself. How could such a good thing come with such a great tragedy?
"No! She can't leave me!" Dillon cried in pain. He felt faint. But nonetheless, he swallowed his tears. He didn't want to cry in front of the doctor, when he knew that he should be happy with a beautiful baby girl. He couldn't let himself cry.
"I'm so sorry. We really did everything that we could… Would you like to see her?" the doctor's voice was sincere, and he really had tried his best. Though, Dillon felt sure that he would never understand the pain that he was feeling.
Dillon nodded and walked inside the room with his daughter in his arms. He glanced down at her and gave her a small reassuring smile. He knew that he wouldn't, couldn't abandon her like his dad had done when he was born. He was going to take full responsibility for his baby girl.
He placed his daughter next to Kristyn and stared at the closed eyes on her blank face. He didn't know what to feel. He had just lost her. His world, his everything, his life. No words could express how much he loved her.
He slowly stroked her cheek, she laid there cold, not giving any movement to show him that she knew he was there. But how could she, she was dead. She had left him with his last memory of her as a painful one. A memory of her death.
"Kristyn… Why did you leave me?" he asked in a whisper as his eyes started welling with tears once again.
Then, he broke down. He buried his face in her lap and cried his eyes out in the silence. Nothing could stop him from showing his emotions today. His daughter squirmed as he trembled against Kristyn's body.
She would never return to him. She was dead. Dillon was going to have to accept that, but he couldn't bear it. He didn't want to believe it. But as much as he wanted this to all be a nightmare, he knew that it was the truth. This was reality.
"Kristyn, look at what you have, our daughter. She's a gem, your daughter. How can you just leave her like this?" he asked in a quiet tone as he wiped away his tears.
He stared down at Kristyn's dead body for a few minutes until he felt calmer. She was gone. There were no other words to express this. His words had no effect on her and she hadn't come back to him. He knew that she wasn't going to, and it stabbed him in the heart.
"Kristyn, I love you…" he whispered. Another stream of tears was threatening to fall. Dillon straightened himself up and swallowed those tears back. "I promise you, Kristyn, that I'll take good care of our daughter and never leave her." He said as strongly as he could and stroked her cheek for the last time. He then picked up his baby girl and hurriedly left the room before he had another metal breakdown. He was going to have to live with reality now.
Dillon slowly walked towards the reception and received permission to leave the hospital with his baby. He couldn't help but stare at his daughter and stroke her cheek as she was sleeping peacefully.
He was now a dad. Kristyn had given him the best gift any man could ask for. His own child.
"Thank you Kristyn." He said softly, looking up at the sky for a moment once he excited the building, but then continued on his way to the parking lot.
He took his daughter home and placed her in the cot that they had bought two weeks ago. "I'm going to raise you as the most beautiful and sweetest girl in the universe. I think Kristyn would have been very proud of you if she got to see you like this." Dillon told his daughter as she slept. "I will do my best so that you don't feel like you're missing out on life because you don't have a mother. That's my promise to you. Okay?" he said with a smile on his face as tears fell down his face. That night, he sat by the cot for the whole night, watching his little bundle of joy and thinking about Kristyn.
For a few minutes, he fell asleep. He dreamed of Kristyn and she told him several things. With a start, he awoke and was covered in sweat. "I promise you that I will keep her and love her all my life Kristyn." He vowed.
On the next day, he decorated her room with Kristyn's old dance posters and pictures because he wanted her to follow in her mother's footsteps. He had tidied up their little dance studio and taken out the music that reminded him of her. In their place, he put the nursery rhyme songs, hoping that in a few years, he could have her dancing to these.
Later that week, he went to the store to buy several books. He wanted to know the best way of raising a child as a single father and he had gotten a few more books to read to her a bedtime. Dillon took very good care of his daughter and took her to her checkups very regularly. So that he could stay with her during the day until she had to go to school, he started working from home. The boys who would come to him for help with their dances would always dot on her and he was glad that there were other people who loved her. He did anything in his power to make her happy and always found new opportunities to show how much he loved her.
"Lacey Katrina Matthews!" Dillon roared from the kitchen.
"What?" Lacey called back to her father, practicing for the recital that was coming up in two weeks. She was now nine years old, nearing ten and had just been given her first solo dance. But to top all that, the recital was on her birthday and she was supper excited.
"Come down! It's dinner time. Did you not hear the bell again?" Dillon yelled. He was tired of keeping the food warm and having cold dinners because Lacey refused to come down. This had been the longest that he had had to wait.
Dillon sighed when Lacey didn't come down to the dining room. He knew that he couldn't get angry at her, because it just would never happen. She was the only person that he had left and his love for her was too great. Dillon decided to go into the studio to see if she was alright. His concern for her had always been there, but it had grown worse when she started school since other kids might inquire about her mom and make her feel uncomfortable.
He sat down next to her under the bar and stroked her cheek lightly. "What's wrong Lace?" Dillon asked softly.
"I'm just not hungry today." Lacey lied and turned away from her dad.
"Dillon feigned a look of mock horror. "Do you think I'm stupid? I know that something's wrong. You can't hide anything from your dad, you know." He paused for a moment, wondering what was wrong. "Is it the solo? We can always go and talk to Madame Tara and ask her to give it to someone else."
Lacey looked down at her hands miserably, not making a single noise.
"So it is the solo!" Dillon exclaimed.
"Well, that and two other things dad. I mean, I know that it shouldn't bother me, but it does. And I don't get it." Lacey says as a tear starts to slip down her cheek and unto her nose. "I know that I should think of this as a compliment, but I just can't. When Madame Hailey came up to me and told me that I needed my fitting for the costume, there's something that bugs me. Don't get me wrong dad, I love costume fitting and I love talking to her, but…" she trails off nervously.
"What did she say?" Dillon asked, the concern in his voice very obvious.
"She told me that my dancing reminded her of Kristyn Farraday's dancing. I mean, imagine me, little Lacey, a ballerina that can never seem to get the steps right being compared to Kristyn Farrady. It just doesn't seem real. Or right."
His wasn't sure whether or not to laugh or cry when he heard this. Of course Lacey's dancing would remind Hailey of Kristyn. She was her daughter after all. But, Lacey shouldn't find out about that until her tenth birthday after all, that's what her mom wanted.
"I don't get why that's upset you. Shouldn't you be honored? You're being compared to your idol. The greatest ballerina of the century." he told her confusedly.
"I guess I should be, but I can't ever become as good as her. She's the legendary Kristyn Farraday." Lacey exclaimed with a big show of hands.
"Maybe it's because of, …" Dillon mused.
"Because of what? Is there something that you know that I don't dad?" she asked, her eyes boring into Dillon's eyes.
"No. It's nothing. Really." He hated lying to Lacey, but he knew that it was necessary. "Now, Lace, what's the other problem?" Dillon asked.
"It's just that as we were changing after class, the other girls were talking about tomorrow."
"Why tomorrow? Is it a special day or something?" Dillon asked, a little too cluelessly.
Lacey sighed in exasperation. "Of course tomorrow is a special day, dad. It's mother's day."
"And …" Dillon prodded.
Lacey pulled her legs closer to her body and buried her head in her knees. "And they were all talking about what they were going to do with their moms. Most of them were going to see a concert or show and go to the spa together. And it hurt to hear them talk about how much they love their moms and everything that they would do together. It makes me feel like I'm left out because I don't have a mom to do special girl only things with. Dad, why don't I have a mom? Did something happen between the two of you?"
Upon hearing this, Dillon felt guilty. He had wanted to try and give Lacey the best childhood with out a mother, but had failed at that. "No. something else came and took her away. I don't want to talk about it now, but I promise you that I'll tell you on your birthday."
"But why can't you tell me now? I'm old enough to know now." Lacey pleaded.
"Because I can't. But I want you to know that I love you and I'm only doing this for you." He told her with a rueful smile.
Lacey crawled into his arms, snuggled into him and whispered, "Deep down in my heart, I know dad. Everything you do is a sign of how much you love me. And I love you too."
Dinner was forgotten and the two of them stayed there together in the silence.
It was finally the big day. Lacey had performed her solo splendidly and was listening to the loud chatter of her friends as she looked for her dad. She didn't have a big party this year, but that was alright. Performing a solo and being showered with surprises (including a pair of pink dance shoes) by her father kept her too busy to want a party. Not to mention the fact that Madame Tara had also smiled at her and told her that her dance reminded her of Kristyn. This time, Lacey embraced the compliment and thanked her wholeheartedly. Suddenly, she spotted her dad and rushed to him. She was soon enveloped in his strong arms as he gave her a bone crushing hug.
"You did wonderfully Lace. There's somewhere that we should be right now, so we have to hurry."
"Where did you want to take me dad?" she asked him, starring at the bouquet of flowers in his hand that he never bothered offering her.
"You'll see." Was the only reply he would give her as they walked through the streets. They walked side by side, since Lacey had deemed herself too old to hold her dad's hand since she was now ten years old.
Dillon had butterflies in his stomach. He was thinking of how he would explain everything to Lacey. After at least ten minutes of fast paced walking, they arrived at a small field with several dozen large stones.
"Dad, Is this a graveyard?" Lacey asked, the fear etched in her voice as she looked around.
"Yes." He nodded his head and walked into the graveyard.
"Dad?" Lacey said as she brought her eyes to his. "Why are we here? And on my birthday. Is something wrong?"
"No. Nothing is wrong. It's just, ..." he trailed off as he looked beyond the horizon, deep in thought before focusing on his daughter again. "What I'm going to tell you is very important. It's about you Lace."
"Dad? I'm scared." Lacey whimpered as she reached for her father's hand as he led her further into the graveyard.
"Why? What I'm going to show you is important. Not scary. I promise. Look, here we are." Dillon said as he stopped and slowly bent down to drop the bouquet in front of the gravestone.
Lacey stared at the headstone on which her father had placed the bouquet for a few minutes. Then, she slowly started to read what it said.
Kristyn,
A loving wife, a hopeful mother and a wonderful friend.
You and your dancing will be sorely missed, but cherished and remembered by all.
May she rest in eternal peace.
Lacey looked up at her father who was staring tearfully at the gravestone. She furrowed her brow as she looked back and forth between her father and the gravestone.
Just the sight of her name had brought back so many memories of her. The good ones as well as the bad ones. Dillon turned his head, so that he was facing her. "She's ... your mother." He said proudly.
"Are you serious dad? My idol and my mom are the same person?" Lacey asked in surprise. All emotions but joy disappeared from her face and she smiled.
"Yeah. She died when she gave birth to you." He said sadly.
Now, Lacey was bewildered. Why in the world would her dad not tell her this? I mean, we don't keep secrets from each other, and even if we did, we couldn't keep them for long.
Her confusion must have been written on her face because he added in quietly, hoping that his explanation wouldn't offend or hurt her. "I wanted to tell you right away. But I had a dream, and your mom told me not to tell you till you were old enough. I guess she wanted you to be able to understand it."
"It's okay dad. Telling me now makes up for ten years of not knowing." Lacey said, giving him a small smile.
"Really Lace?"
"Yeah. Now I can tell people that my mom was the famous Kristyn Farraday! Who wouldn't be excited about that?" She said excitedly.
"Well, I'm glad that you aren't upset or confused anymore. I know that you practically have what she looks like memorized, but I thought that you might want to see again. I have a picture of her for you if you want. The two of you have the same eyes. Beautifully mesmerizing blue eyes." Dillon said as he took a picture out from his pocket and held it for Lacey to see.
She smiled when she saw that what her dad said was true. They did have the same eyes, but she had never noticed it. "I never realized that I looked like her."
Dillon smiled and kissed the top of her head. "You are a replica of her, my dearest princess."
"Oh. So that's why Madame Hailey said that about my dancing being like Kristyn's. Do we actually dance the same?"
"Yes. I think that it was passed down from her to you." Dillon said with a smile.
"Dad, can you tell me more about mom. I mean, I have most facts about her down in my head, but there must be little moments that the two of you shared alone." Lacey exclaimed as they walked out of the graveyard. This time, she wasn't against holding her dad's hand at all.
Dillon nodded and started telling her all that she had achieved in her life, her dreams, the like things that she'd say when they were alone. He even told her about the pink ballet shoes and their trip to the land of the sweets with Hannah.
Lacey had gotten everything that she wanted and worked for. She had become a principle dancer at the young age of 17. Dillon couldn't be any prouder.
His little girl had grown up into a very beautiful girl, inside and out, just like his Kristyn. Lacey was still a very well known ballerina and she had just been given the title, prima ballerina. Her mother still remained her inspiration, even though she was now one of the best ballerinas in the world.
Dillon starred at the stage on which his daughter was performing and he smiled. "She's like her mother in so many ways..." he whispered as he put his hands in his pockets.
That night, he had been feeling restless and had gone out to look at the sky. On his front porch, he found Kristyn.
"I miss you Kristyn." He said softly.
I know. I miss you too." Was her reply.
"Have I made you happy Kristyn?" Dillon asked as he starred into a mesmerizing set of blue eyes.
"You did. You've made me more than happy." Kristyn smiled at the thought.
"I tried to raise her the way you would have, but it was hard. I didn't want to make a mistake because I would only have one chance, but I think she turned out alright." Dillon said proudly, trying not to cry.
"I know it was hard. But you've made me proud."
"I love you Kristyn." He said as he moved to touch her. As he moved closer, she was started to fade away. "Don't leave me Kristyn!" he cried frantically as all the sadness of that fateful day that she died started to overwhelm him again.
"I want to stay with you Dillon, but I'm afraid that I have to go. I'm sorry for leaving you all those years ago and I'm sorry for leaving you now." Kristyn whispered. "I love, with all my heart. Don't ever forget that."
"I love you Kristyn! Don't leave me here! Take me with you!" Dillon cried frantically as he clawed the empty space where Kristyn used to be.
"I can't take you with me. You have to look after Lacey, but until you do come, I'll be waiting for you. Take good care of her like you've always done..." she called as she disappeared into the moonlit sky.
"I'll do that. I promise you." Dillon breathed, looking up at the sky.
I'm back with another one-shot after exams. I have something else in mind and will try to get it out as soon as I can.
I cried as I wrote the ending for this. But, I hope it wasn't too sad...
Cheerio,
Lasting Violet
