A/N: I fancied some humour. This is what my brain came up with. Despite the awesomeness of Dramione, you just can't beat a bit of petty insulting.
Oh yeah, still not mine. I've now added 'ownership of Harry Potter' onto my birthday list though, so fingers crossed! :)
Hope you enjoy! xx
Dear Roommate
Dear the Annoying Ferret I have to room with,
Yes, I'm quivering at the thought of your Father hearing about the fact you have to share living quarters with me. Just to confirm, this was the man who was a supporter of a Dark Lord so terrifying he was destroyed by a two year old?
Dear the Slytherin Albino next door,
Oh, you want to know where your precious family heirloom is? Well, judging by the position of the moon in relation to the… it's underneath the North Tower.
Dear Blonde Cockroach Roommate,
Following your orders on how to earn my keep, being the lowly Muggleborn I am, I have done all the dishes and cleaned the toilet. You may want to rinse your toothbrush before using it tonight.
Dear Foul Snivelling Excuse for a Head Boy,
I agree that we should keep as far away from each other as possible. How about I stay in this Common Room whilst you make the long walk up to the Seventh Floor and throw yourself over the stair banister.
Dear Misguided Pureblood Squatter,
Running out of hair gel is not an excuse to act like there's an axe murderer behind the shower curtain. The assassin I have hired to kill you is flexible enough to come at a more respectable time than 6.30am.
Dear Petty Mustelidae Roommate,
Yes, Crookshanks will attack you if you step into the Common Room. Maybe you should wait outside until I've done my homework and it's safe. He can smell fear.
Dear the Insufferable Git I have as a Roommate,
Harry and Ron are allowed to visit the Head Common Room whenever they like. It's my Common Room too. Don't think I didn't see that 6th Year Slytherin sneak out last night. At least I actually talk to my guests.
Dear Albino Weasel of a Companion,
"Go shag a beaver" is not an amusing comeback in an argument. Nor is it grammatically correct.
Dear Egotistical Blonde Roommate,
Telling Pansy Parkinson her bum did look big in that dress was not a very nice thing to say. You should have been more worried about the fact she actually agreed to go on a date with you in the first place.
A/N: Sooo... was it worse the time you took to scroll down? I'm contemplating writing a sequel sort of thing, obviously focused on Draco writing to Hermione. Would you read that as well?
Hope you have a nice rest-of-the-evening.
Defy xxx