Chapter 1: Faraway
I walk down the long narrow grey hallway into my father's room a routine every night after dinner. I lay myself flat down against the bed feeling the warmth saturate my body. Loud footsteps replace the heaters buzz. One two three I feel his hand at the notch of my jeans hems sliding them down to my ankles. I've learned not to scream or my pain doubles. Then the humiliation of the hems of my boxers being slid down to my ankles then a plop on the floor my only cover my pride be striped and sliced every night and a months' worth of trying to regain. "This is for your own good" Marcus says. I don't say a word there's no point in pleading or crying out or slashing and squirming around like an infant. The hard metal strip slashes against my bottom I hold my breath trying to sooth myself Calmness Another slash. I wonder if I'll be able to sit tomorrow. Then another will my bottom bleed like last night and my father had to stop because I was bleeding too much? I must be shaking because one real hard smooth whip makes like an electrical buzz go through my body striating every hair. "Calm down" Marcus says like my shaking stopped him from what he was doing like I'm an annoyance in his life. Ten more of these slashes and it's over. At least my dad has common sense because I feel something cool and but warm cream being rubbed in it must be anti-infection cream or on the lines of that after the hems of my boxers are being slid up as well as my jeans. "Bed" Is the last thing Marcus says before he leaves the room.
In my room I get in sweats and no shirt. I just about lay down when Marcus appears in the door step looking blankly at me. "What" I snap "aren't you grumpy tonight" Marcus says a line forming between his lips. "Are you in here for another round or here to just stare at me?" I say he's confusing me there must be something on the tip of his tongue he wants to say. "Well in a couple weeks its choosing ceremony and I wanted to know what you were planning on choosing" Marcus says a twitch in the eye brow and furrowing tells me something he's nervous "Don't you think that's personal and if you want to know you should wait till I slit my wrist" I undo the covers sliding my limp tired body inside closing my eyes. "I'm curious I know you're not staying here." Even as much as I hate my father it pinches a little when he retreats with those leaving comments. Its takes me a few moments to decide an answer. "Amity is cut out Erudite was cut out abnegation wasn't cut out and dauntless wasn't cut out" My jaw clenches of course Abnegation wasn't cut out but I'm okay with Dauntless. "Two choices huh….What do you think about this?" Marcus says curiously. When does he care about what I'm interested in picking oh so he can whip me more or lock me in a closet for how long six hours? Sweat drips from my palms "Dauntless" Is all I can choke out before I hear a whisper of oh and a goodnight. And then the creaking of my door shutting gently as my father leaves.
I hear shades being pulled up as my eye's blink a couple times a ray of sunshine lazars my eyes shut. What the hell? I reopen my eyes to a startling awake Marcus sitting by the window sill looking out toward the empty roads. I breath in and out in and out and curl myself into a ball and squeeze tightly making my fists go red then a slowly reopen my clenched hands. I look over to Marcus he's not paying attention to me he's just blankly stating at the window, I start to get up when he finally looks over at me "I didn't know you were up" "What are you doing in here" He doesn't respond the only thing I get is breakfast is ready. I can barely make my way to my seat it aches and burns so badly. The wobbling and creaking of the chair withstands my weights and I sigh relief.