Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.
Forever.
He'd promised that much.
It wasn't like they hadn't talked about it.
They'd talked about spending the rest of their lives together.
And then it had happened and their future together had shattered.
He had cried more in the last four days than he had thought was possible.
He never thought he would feel this alone, not when he had Kurt.
But now Kurt was gone and Blaine felt like he had nothing.
They would never get married like they had planned to one day. They would never grow old together. They would never...
Blaine felt lost. Like his whole world was collapsing, like he couldn't get enough air in his lungs to keep breathing.
But breathing wasn't the hard part, not really.
The hard part was at night, when the Sun went down and he was alone and he couldn't stop thinking.
It was when he was asleep that he would relive what happened that day, and wake up shaking and sweating.
The dream was always the same, and he would always wake up right before the car crashed, taking the love of his life from him.
He would pace the room to calm down, doing what he could to stop thinking.
He wished he could stop, that everything would stop.
He wished he could hit the rewind button, back to the accident. He even went so far as to wishing it had been him that hadn't made it.
But he had been fine, only a few scratches and bruises as reminders of what had happened.
He hadn't been back to school; there were only a few days left anyways, and he would graduate, sure, but it wouldn't be the same without Kurt being there, to see him get his diploma, walk across the stage, to support him.
But that was being selfish, wasn't it? He wasn't the only one who was lost without Kurt.
He went over to the Hudson-Hummel household, and it was Finn who had answered the door, and broke down when he saw Blaine and engulfed him in a bone-crushing hug and they had cried together.
"The wake's tomorrow and the funeral's the day after," Finn says, and Blaine nods slowly and doesn't say anything because what is there to say really?
Burt asks if he would say something at the funeral and Blaine says yes, while bitterly being reminded that Kurt would have to be his best friend and not his boyfriend during the speech.
The wake is a blur, as is the funeral, but he remembers breaking down in the middle of his speech, unable to go on.
But he has to go on. Kurt wouldn't have wanted him to lose himself because he was gone.
Moving on, however, would be worse. Kurt had been the one and only love of his life, he had been sure of it.
But it was over, there was nothing he could do to get him back.
He visited his lost love's grave, sitting cross-legged, and had talked for hours, no tears, just words.
He placed flowers in front of the headstone before leaving, whispering one last I love you so much, Kurt, before leaving, never to return.
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