A/N: This takes place between the floating Chitty and the Lovely, Lonely Man scenes.
Bye Bye Hushabye
"Then what happened after they drove out of the water and away?" Jemima asked.
"After the two spies left" Caractacus went on "he got a hideous, insidious, outragious idea."
"I don't think 'outragious' is a real word" Truly offered.
"It is in Vulgaria; they use it all the time" Caractacus explained. "Now where was I? Oh yes..."
...
"Now what do we do?" asked the Admiral of Baron Bomburst, ruler of Vulgaria and owner of the most medals on the chest of any uniform in the country.
"It's always good to have another plan ready" added the Chancellor, with just a slight cringe.
The Baron considered for a moment before responding. "While my spies are doing what they need, I think it is time to give the people of the world a gift; nightmares! Now I need to get our stone masons and carpenters immediately..."
And so it was that overnight there was heard much sawing and pounding on Hushabye Mountain, so that when morning came the citizens below found a wall completely surrounding the hill. About ten feet high, it was constructed of stone posts and wood slats and was remarkably solid. The villagers quickly realized that the wall cut off the breezes that swept down from the mountain. More importantly, it meant that the sailboats in the bay had no propulsion to transport the troubles of the citizens away during their sleep.
The Baron and a half dozen of his crew were now in Vulgaria's newest sea vessel, a small submarine called the Flounder as it lie submerged at the inlet to Lullaby Bay. He watched through the periscope as the villagers ran around the docks and streets in a state of panic.
"You should be in a panic" the Baron boasted "because from now on things are only going to get worse!" He began to sing:
[To the tune of Hushabye Mountain, but as a slow, brassy dirge]
No gentle breezes from Hushabye Mountain
Will blow over Lullaby Bay
They can't fill the sails of boats that are waiting
Because I built a wall in the way
The baron hooked arms with his crew as he marched slowly around the cramped control room as if in a funeral procession.
Completely circling Hushabye Mountain
Your boats are stuck in the quay
No winds to blow over the water
Your dreams turned to nightmares will be
The baron continued to moving around the room, twisting knobs and flipping switches as he went with mock sadness. A crewmember hastily returned things to normal behind him.
Don't close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain
Or troubles will take nest in your head
No nocturnal boats leaving Lullaby Bay
You'll never want to go to bed
...
"That's frightening" trembled Jeremy when his father explained what had happened. "No good dreams any more!"
"It is" agreed Caractacus. "We've got to do something! Good thing it isn't very far and with Chitty's help we should make it in no time; I've got something in the boot that just might help."
And it wasn't long indeed before Caractacus had Chitty at the base of the wall by a pillar. "HURRY!" cried the children, for they too relied on the breezes to blow away their troubles at night. Caractacus opened the boot of the car and removed a grapple attached to a chain, which he drug out and over to the wall. He threw the grapple over the pillar and pulled until it hooked at the top. He then took the slack back to the rear of the car before climbing in. Easing it into gear, he slowly moved forward until the slack was gone and the chain taut. Giving it the throttle, he tried to pull the wall down several times but had to take it out of gear before the car stalled.
"The wheels can't get enough grip" Truly said as she leaned her head over the side.
"Come on Chitty," Jemima pleaded "you have to pull it down."
The engine roared and the car began to shake as the fenders and running board began to transform.
"Stay inside everyone, something's happening!" Caractacus yelled. The fenders and running boards flipped and joined in a loop around both wheels, creating a long metallic track with metal ridges. Chitty's aircraft motor growled as it dug into it's lowest gear and began to pull.
"What is it?" Truly asked.
"Caterpillar treads. Chitty's going for maximum pulling power; if this doesn't do it nothing will."
"What if the chain breaks? It feels like it's starting to stretch."
"It won't; I designed it myself. Look, the wall is beginning to bow!" And indeed, the pillar was beginning to tip toward them, slowly at first and then faster until it toppled over with a crash. That brought the nearest section of wall down, which in turn pulled down the next and then the next as they watched the massive chain of destruction wind its way out of sight. The noise lessened as the falling sections disappeared around the bend of the mountain, only to become loud again as it reappeared on the other side a minute later having gone all the way around. The last section nearest them toppled over and the mountain was free again.
"Hurray!" they all shouted, echoing the calls of the villagers below.
"No time to stick around everyone, we can sing the praises of Chitty on the way home. Let's go!" Caractacus called as Chitty transformed back into a normal looking car and they drove off.
...
"Curses! Foiled by that amazing car again!" the baron cried out as he watched the scene unfold through his periscope. "And now I can see the boats beginning to leave the harbor too. A big one is coming toward us; get ready to fire torpedoes!"
"We can't sir; we don't have any because the torpedoes won't be ready until your birthday" the admiral said.
"A submarine with no torpedoes! Bah! Then dive!"
"Too shallow sir!"
"Then turn around before..." but it was too late. The boat on the surface struck the periscope, twisting and bending it until it faced the sun. The light blinded the baron who was still looking through the device."
"AH! My eyes! I can't see!" the baron yelled, falling backward.
"Don't worry sire, it is only temporary" the admiral assured him. "Your eyesight will return momentarily."
"Good, I like to see who I shall be beating later. In the meantime, turn around and head back home" the baron ordered. He sniffed the air. "What is that horrible smell?"
"Sorry my ruler" apologized a crew member as he let off another burp. "I had too much sauerkraut for lunch."
"Do that again and we'll use you as a torpedo!"
...
Caractacus and Truly motored down the road, Jemima and Jeremy asleep in the backseat. "You know Mr. Potts..." Truly began.
The End
A/N: I finally saw this movie after nearly 40 years, and even though it is a kid's movie all things considered I enjoyed it. What really struck me was the lovely metaphor of Hushabye Mountain and Lullaby Bay, and what a terrible thing it would be for the nasty baron to threaten it. How would Chitty save the day?
There are more questions that can be asked as well with other stories. Why did the baroness hate children, what became of the first Mrs. Potts, and how did Bungie Potts become so disconnected with reality? And just what are they going to do with all that wonderful room below the castle?