I was inspired by various sources and by the authors Margaret Atwood, J.K. Rowling and Amitav Ghosh. Also other inspirations include writers, one being Kags21. The Inuyasha story 'Prisoner' is awesome; Kags21 is doing a great job with it.

This story will contain mature content so you have been advised (not to M standards though). And as we all know the original CardCaptor Sakura isn't mine, only this fanfiction story belongs to me.

Passions Doubling

Chapter I

Stone Complex

To say she was bored would be an understatement. For the last two hours he went on about the technicalities of Directing. She didn't mind that he was expressing his interests and she was firstly intrigued that he possessed such abundant knowledge but now it was safe to say he was a bit of a megalomaniac.

The condescending eyes on her when she uttered that she didn't know what 'film-noir' was got to her precisely hard. The fact that she was ignorant now did not mean she couldn't learn later.

"So um, Roger, umm, is there anything aside movies that you do?" She was becoming nervous and restless and she didn't want to hear him talk.

He looked as if he just been hit on the head with a brick, "What…?" that was obviously a sign of concussion.

"I bet you must read a good lot of books," she ignored his obliviousness and started on her subject, "As you are a learning media arts you might read a lot of books – get inspired, that sort of thing. I mean –"

"We are not talking about books," there was that look again stating you 'dumb broad' right in her face, "We are talking about movies."

It was time she had had enough, "Movies come from scripts that are somewhat inspired by books." She sternly put it down.

" Yes, that's true." He was being negligent. Not taking her seriously.

It was then Sakura Kinomoto felt that he crossed the limit, "Geez, what sort of ass are you?"

He looked bewildered, "Excuse me…?"

Sakura got up, "Yes, you are excused."

She left with the man following her, "Hey Sakura! Come back!"

"Don't worry I'll pay my bill on the way out." Sakura states as she looked piercingly at him that actually made him shudder, "This date is over."

Sakura Kinomoto was twenty-one, a virgin and not very good in relationships. It wasn't her fault. She was cute, tomboyish and definitely attractive. She was clumsy, conservative but not very much of a person who likes to experiment. This did not mean she lacked intelligence and that she possessed no gaiety nor grace. In her school she was popular as people knew her but she wasn't exactly 'a popular'. She was intelligent and people respected her for that. But Sakura knew of morons who wanted her only to appease their carnal desires. She had thought them stupid and that is why she hadn't spoken to Tomoyo Daidouji in three years because she married someone out of the sake of mixed emotions. Though it was none of Sakura's business she advised her friend that she should not take a giant leap without any prior contemplation. Tomoyo had responded harshly. She told Sakura that in case she hadn't noticed she was more like a nun who was being chaste which to her was ridiculous and Sakura became furious. Daidouji did not stop there she kept on saying how silly Sakura was and how no boy was attracted to her and then used the word lesbian in a derogatory manner. Sakura decided then and there to sever connections. It was very painful to her but how could she stand her supposed best friend speaking to her in that manner? It was unacceptable. If Tomoyo had minded her giving advice then she should have just told her politely that she knew what she was doing – a line many use to avoid 'unneeded' help.

Sakura didn't attend the wedding and Tomoyo didn't care. The last thing Sakura heard of Tomoyo was that she was having huge marital problems; she being a celebrity and all made the rocky relationship more exposed.

At least Sakura was happy for Tomoyo. Becoming a designer was always her dream. Nowadays she knew she visited Paris, London and Singapore whenever she wanted.

Sakura on the other hand had started university late so; she was busy with her studies. She was studying in Arts and would graduate in a year or two. Sakura had just started living by herself a few months back. She was already responsible as a child and she loved caring for her brother Touya and her father Fujitaka: the unity they assembled and possessed was quite extraordinary in its own way. So, there was such a thing as reluctance in living with solitary, herself as the company. In a way she was afraid. She had always been with her family and such changes were fearful to her. Though, now, she was accustomed and quite cheerful in a way. Touya was living by himself as well, after he had changed universities – his last one was nearer to him and he had preferred staying with his parent and sibling.

"That bad." It was a monotonous way that Rika spoke, she couldn't understand stormy relationships and messed up ones; or breakups, she had married their schoolteacher, the one she loved amorously. Both of them were so in tune with each other thus they could not efficiently empathize with broken connections between two human beings, especially on a romantic scale.

However, they were not so lacking and naïve. Sakura did not know how Rika became her best friend. In elementary she had not spent much time with her, in junior high they exchanged pleasantries and in high school she was in the 'popular' clique. Basically, some awkward situations of life had alienated them. They had similar souls to gain friendship.

"Is that a question?"

"No."

"Then?"

"Sakura, I think you are quite demanding."

"And?"

"I think it'll take time."

"Yes, I believe –"

"Chiharu is happy."

Though Sakura feigned innocence, "About?"

"The bad marriage to Tomoyo."

"Is she that obsessed with her cousin Takashi Yamazaki?"

"She loves him…" Rika explained.

"That form of love is foolish…" Sakura spoke matter-of-factly.

"Is it…? We can't be sure, we aren't a part of it."

"No, but a third person perceptive is highly recommended."

Rika sighed, "Still, we should support her…"

"Supporting her will be merciless, cruel and cynical…" Sakura was angry, "How can Yamazaki be so special to her after that?"

"Love is Blind." Rika reasoned.

"That is how the Blind justify it." Sakura reasoned.

"Ah, a cynic with an optimist – this battle brews no victor." Rika sincerely jested.

"Who's the cynic and who's the optimist?" Sakura was a tad annoyed then regained equanimity, "We are both delving into the logics," she was serious, "How can Chiharu be blind, here Zaki is tearing apart Tomoyo and she still trusts him."

"Are you worried for Tomoyo?"

"For the sake of being a philanthropist, yes: otherwise, no." That was solid.

"No friendship there?"

"How can I be friends with someone who is too cocky for their own good?"

"The logic there is quite understandable." Rika looked on at Sakura's pointed face; obviously the betrayal has stolen all the love and left gall.

"Besides," Sakura huffed, "I'm done with dating Rika."

"I see." Rika smiled, "I lost my virginity to my husband after marriage you know," she sipped lightly into her tea, "Many people consider that old fashioned but I think it worked well, very well for us." She was referring to the marriage.

Sakura envied her friend Rika. She was lucky to be married young and right to the man she yearned. She had wed him at nineteen and he was twenty-four. They were moving along with a strength that had all of God Almighty's blessings. Sakura truly envied her friend Rika Sasaki: she had kept her maiden name.

"Yeah…umm…" Sakura looked at her swirling mass, a teardrop, unexpected, fell into the tea, she sighed, "I think I'll go home now."

"Sakura…" Rika softly began – it may have been foolish of her to bring the topic of significant others in front of the lonely brunette – yet, it was an innocent fault. One who is exhilarated and merry in love will surely say it. There was no sin in it at all.

"No…" Sakura assured her, "It's me…isn't it…Meiling was right!"

Sakura didn't perceive why the hysterics arrived, yet they had and she had fled.

Left to her own devices Sakura wrote in her journal:

Then she cut out the 'retard' bit

Maybe I am too demanding?
No,
I know who I am
I never told anyone off in a bad manner
The men I date never have the maturity to know me…
…or I them…

Then it followed:

Tomoyo was once my friend
She betrayed me
I miss her
But I don't wanna reconcile with her
She was so mean
All I told her was to be careful
There are many people – men and women, girls and boys – who take advantage of you…

She never told anyone…that he almost…a tear slid down as she wrote:

I saw him today, glaring at me
I showed him the 'fuck-you' finger
He smiled and mouthed 'I love you'
What a fuck-up?
His wife may not know

I feel like Susanna Kaysen from "Girl Interrupted"

Sakura did not want to think about the man. It made her weary. She wasn't afraid of him. When she was fifteen she was. But that was gone now. She strolled right past him. The tear slid not out of fear but rather misery – she should have known better.

This was a fact. Many in misery want to 'know better' yet, as their knowledge did not suffice how could they have know? The word 'Mature' was like a organ destined to pump to so many networks of capillaries, veins and arteries that the young and the undeveloped may only learn to interpret it: the ones 'mature enough' believe they have restraint, and that was a universal truth.

Sakura drank some milk. She wondered how Tomoyo was doing in a way. Takashi was harsh to her in a way, or so the newspapers printed, as quoted:

"You are a mistake, I cannot see myself with you anymore…I'm in love with someone already."

Tomoyo was in hysteria:

"GO FUCK AROUND! You ruined me you cheap, heartless bastard…you whore-monger…" etcetera

In comparison to her recent date Sakura had a sixth sense of the horrific possibilities that ensnare some situations. As the thought that might point toTakashi Yamazaki to be ill matched with Tomoyo Daidouji. After all 'Zaki' had asked 'Tomo' to escort him somewhere where Chiharu was unable to go (how long it had been since she had uttered their shortened nicknames). Though Yamazaki was an eccentric he presented a class highly mature and in one serious, concentrated conversation at their 'first date' Tomoyo had decided to take some opportune steps with this strange yet delightful fellow. He was more of a bedfellow than a lover. Sakura was not the slightest individual to meddle yet she advised Tomoyo at times to think cautiously before proceeding: it was due to the lack of zest Takashi showed for their 'courtship', this worried Sakura tremendously.

Sakura had been proven right. Though Tomoyo was wounded no bliss attached itself to Sakura for all she mustered was gall – how could Tomoyo, her dear sweet Tomoyo Daidouji, the one who she had presented a beautiful eraser to on her first day meeting with her when they were ten, harm her?

Sakura had cried.

To have said she had not would deem her cruelly saturated.

She felt; ached; worn out by those tumultuous palpitations: if only her Tomo would come to her then. She might have forgiven her.

Then, there was a might, now wasn't there – Sakura knew that her emotive heart could never forgive Tomoyo or plead for that companionship once more. Despite knowing her since ten Sakura was sure she could not accept Tomoyo's apology; even if one was issued. Tomoyo altered for the worst. Her proud demeanor was polished as glass: blinding, sharp, ruthless and cold. The sweet tempered dreamer of youth was gone, disappeared with the magician's cloak – to Sakura it was a tender illusion. Sweet as it lasted.

Sometimes life is like that, Sakura sighed, We don't expect some things but they appear, at times they are bad things other times they are worth the unpredictable awe in our mouths.

Sakura finished the milk. She went to her bedroom and saw her mother's photograph. Sakura then braided her waist length hair. She was tired. She wanted to sleep and it was a desperate longing. Too much had drained her today. It was her hysterical remembrance on what Meiling Li had once spoken.

She hadn't heard from that woman in a long while now seeing how she was two years her senior and probably married to that cousin she boasted about – Sakura's content conclusion.

Meiling Li could be terribly cruel when she desired, Sakura tasted her bitter friend-like-foe in her memory, Tomoyo's separation from me was highly appraised by her…I sometimes want her to rot in hell!

Sakura realized that in her existence she had encountered some rare, good people. One was Rika Sasaki, then there was Naoko Yanagisawa and there was Chiharu Mihara. Boys, they were aliens to Sakura – aside from Yamazaki she didn't have any proper male friends so almost every male encounter terrified or puzzled Sakura; she had apprehended that they could be future prospects, yet, it was a wrong interpretation and she had divined that at the present.

In actuality, Sakura was mostly alone in her life.

Loneliness is vulnerability at times: for those who seek prey it is an enchanted gift.

Sakura has scorched her tongue as she recollected that vile man and his obsession. It was one of those episodes that taught her to be stronger. Yet as many people she coveted security and a peaceful channel of thought. Her days were becoming chaotic due to weird designs.

Sakura went to sleep that night with a heavy heart. It was in her blood, flesh, mind and soul to be determined to find more purpose in her life. Some setbacks created doubts in her confidence. She wanted to break them as a hammer could break glass.

----

The man was sophisticated. Yet, he was only a charmer, he was pretentious, listened to gain more for himself and eat away all of the fruits of his vile successes. She was becoming nonsensical to him, a liability, and a thing that needed strangling. The American blonde next to him, he considered her a foreign slut and even that particular girl he was dating (who was 'the dreadful liability') was a whore as well.

All women are whores, he snickered, And goody-goody men are fucked. The only purpose men are born are to be manipulators and they are here to fuck up women. Everyone is stupid if they don't follow that straight rule.

That blonde he was referring to smirked at him, "What are you thinking about?"

"How much I love you." His horrid lie was stanching the very fibers of existence.

"I can't wait for you to dump her, " the blonde absently continued unaware of the man's deadness and distraction (he was focused on some Irish woman he had, for the lack of the better word to describe his intentions, fucked that afternoon), "I mean you tell me she is a college drop-out…she is the bookworm type."

"Yes, yes, I know…you see how pathetic she is…" He was just pretending of course, what can such a talent-less man as himself do? He doesn't mention how he made his 'girlfriend' drop out. He was exhausted of her intellect and took advantage of her innocent love.

"Yes, well…I have decided to stay here in Tomoeda…" the blonde was excited, the man did not give a damn, "After you dump your loser girlfriend we'll be together."

"It'll take some time though…" he kissed her, "She is a fragile, whiny person, she might not take the hint." Actually, he still enjoyed intercourse with her.

"I understand." The blonde spoke hopefully, dreaming away illusions, "What did you say your girlfriend's name was again?"

He secretly sighed, annoyed at her, lack of intelligence (to him it was not just forgetfulness for he suffered from superiority complex and branded all women as his mules to slaughter), "Naoko, Naoko Yanagisawa."

"Oh, she has a pretty name." the blonde sparkled and he wanted to kill her.

Pretty good fuck too, he heinously thought, "Susan, up for another round." He flashed her that naughty smile.

"Oh yes Eriol." She was ready for him and Eriol spent no time 'making love' to her.

Just a slut who takes the worm from the hook, Eriol chucked secretively as he screwed Susan. Naoko is still a fresh rag-doll, I'll dispose off this whore in a matter of days. He smiled, Naoko may have some cute friends, some could even be virgins, I might fuck some of them.

At dawn he got a call, "Hello Eriol, I'm sorry but I really wanna see you today."

Eriol grew bitter, "Naoko, what the fuck?"

"Who's Naoko?"

"What?" Eriol rubbed his head.

"It's me Kanna, who's Naoko?"

"Oh Babe…" Eriol cheery eyed addressed her, inwardly he swore, "Naoko is this girl who stalks me."

"You have a stalker?" the girl asked incredulously.

"Yes, more than one, there's this American slut." Eriol looked at a sleeping Susan, Can't be too sure, Eriol was taking precautions.

"Oh, I wanna beat em up!"

"Don't get your cute fists all hurt now my fifteen year old canary." Eriol knew how to play the game.

"Well Eriol, can't we make love today?"

Young slut got the puberty worms, Eriol snickered, "Of course babe you know how much I want you."

"Good, come by at nine –"

"No, make it ten, I've got business…" he thought of Naoko and how he was to shag her.

"Okay then bye."

As she clicked off: "Young slut!" Eriol cursed, "Got me up! Had no right to ruin my sleep!"

"You okay Baby?" Susan got up.

"You won't believe the youth nowadays," the expert storyteller, "This girl was fifteen and she called me now to have phone sex with her!"

"Oh dear…" Susan was appalled. Then she cuddled, "I know my baby, a good guy beneath his bad boy exterior."

As she fell asleep again Eriol snorted, They don't call you guys dumb blonde for nothing.

He looked in his drawer to see if he had enough condoms. He was doing some homeruns, this was his mantra.

Eriol Hiirigizawa wasn't a bad boy.

He was a manipulator.

He listened to women so he could charm them with his great 'listening skills' but in truth he psychologically manipulated them then made them have feelings for him.

He was the poor excuse of a predator.

But his prey suffered greatly.

He was no man.

He was the most useless soul in the world.

Yet now, he basked in the fantasy of being powerful.

He'll need the fall.