A/N: YAY! ANOTHER STORY! W00T! Well, the first for this account, anyway. We won't spend time with a long introduction because we know how frustrating that is, so we'll wait until the end. Continue at your own risk!
Pairings: You'll just have to find out! Okay, we'll tell, you broke us down... NaruHina, SasuSaku, TemShika, NejiTen. And as for the few that might be missing-you'll have to wait, because we're evil like that!
Rated for intense, perverse, hilariously morbid humour. Adult content and suggestion. Strong language from our one and only Uchiha...and a few others. Adult situations, and later bloody violence.
Disclaimer: Oho, we can imagine what we'd do should we own Naruto... Oh yes, we can see it now... MWAHAHAHAHA! Sadly, however, we do not. Not now, anyway. And that is why Our Lord and Saviour created mustard and paintball guns! As of now, though, the characters and what they come with do not belong to us, only the OCs and the idea.
Chapter 1: The Mission
"What do you think this mission is that Tsunade-obaa-chan wants to see us for?" The blonde boy inquired stupidly as he turned to his other two teammates, cerulean eyes wide with excitement. Uzamaki Naruto, the number one, knuckleheaded ninja of Konohagakure and his two life-long friends Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Sasuke were on their way to the Hokage tower for an A-ranked mission. Accompanying them on this highly ranked quest were Hyuuga Hinata, the shy heiress to one of the most prestigious clans in the Village Hidden in the Leaves; Aburame Shino, also from a well-known, and very powerful clan; and Inuzuka Kiba, a dog master and skilled ninja along with his canine companion, Akamaru. The six shinobi were to meet at the Tower at five-o-clock sharp.
"How should I know, dobe, we have just as much information about this mission as you." The Uchiha rolled his onyx eyes at his friend. He was in his usual slouched stance, hands in pockets; the only difference was that his ninja forehead protector was still slashed through the middle from his previous adventures in the Village Hidden in the Sound.
"Don't be so rude, Sasuke," Sakura snapped at him, emerald orbs glaring daggers at the mentioned man as a lock of her bubble-gum pink hair fell undignified in her face. "You're lucky she's even letting you go on this mission. You've yet to earn our trust back." She spat at him with disdain and hurt all mixed into one. "No, Naruto, I don't think anyone knows yet, maybe except Kakashi and Kurenai." She glanced towards the dark haired Uchiha and reminisced about all of her previous feelings, but they were soon washed over by all of the anger she currently held toward him.
"Hinata-chan, good to see you, are you ready for this mission?" Naruto blurted out and ran to his friends as they got closer to the other three near the tall red building. The Hyuuga heiress blushed and replied.
"Y-Yes, Naruto-kun, I-I believe so." She stuttered and pulled away from him, looking away with an apparent blush. Even though all of the ninja were now sixteen and had encountered many a difficult trial, she still felt her love for Naruto just as deeply as it was four years earlier.
The group finally was near and waiting. Their former senseis greeted curtly and stood silently as the young ninja spoke excitedly of the new mission. This was their first highly ranked mission since retrieving Sasuke and all were anxious for what was going to happen.
"I'll finally be able to show you up, Sasuke-teme!" Naruto suddenly yelled. Everyone went silent and stared at him like the moron that he was.
Sakura abruptly beat him over the head, "Shut up, you baka! You're so annoying sometimes." She smiled playfully at him to show that she hadn't meant it in a horrible way. He gave her one of his goofy grins and they all went back to talking. They were quickly silenced as their sensei's led them to the Hokage's office. Once inside, they bowed respectfully to the older medic nin as she gestured for them to take their seats.
"I'm sure you're all wondering what this mission is supposed to be." She began, Sake bottles cluttering her desk, her hands clasped in front of her face. "This is very important and in some ways dangerous, so I need you all to behave well and pay close attention, Naruto." Tsunade glared at the young fox-demon, everyone straightened immediately and listened intently. "I need you to bring back two young girls, one fifteen and one sixteen, they are of great importance to this village."
"What's so great about them?" The Uzamaki immediately blurted, but soon quieted and shrugged at the glares that were directed towards him.
"I was getting to that! Kami help me…" The Hokage intervened and took a shot of Sake, shook her light blonde head, and proceeded on with the explanation. "They could be of great use in defeating the Akatsuki." Sasuke immediately stiffened and got a deathly look on his face, everyone glanced towards him to see his reaction. "We need to do this once and for all so pay attention! The only issue we have is that, well, they're a bit like Naruto; hyper, over-active, one likes squirrels and the other is a bit ditzy."
"Oh great, it's another Naruto and Sakura pair!" Sasuke mumbled; the two he insulted death glared and the pink-haired kunoichi huffed, looking in the other direction.
"Oh, and they don't know they're ninja or that we exist." Tsunade finished quickly and smiled a sheepish grin; everyone, including the sensei's, sweat-dropped.
"How are they going to help us if they don't know who we are, where we are, or that we even exist, Tsunade-sama?" Sakura asked, curiosity shielding her doubt and frustration from view.
"They possess a rare kekkei-genkai, a blood line trait, and they're families have the ability to manipulate the elements. Each girl has the power to control one of the four natural elements; one can control water, the other, earth." She explained further. So far everything was coming together, but then she had to go and open her mouth again, "The only problem is…"
"Another one?!" Naruto sighed in exasperation.
"The only problem," Tsunade continued, ignoring her student, "is that they don't know that they can achieve these things, either." She said quickly, averting everyone's glares and sweat drops. The number one knuckleheaded ninja fell over, Sasuke rolled his eyes and collapsed in his chair, Sakura was excited at the prospect of teaching more people, Hinata tended to Naruto, and Shino and Kiba face palmed in annoyance.
"So how the hell are we supposed to complete this?!" Hinata's teammate, Kiba, yelled; Akamaru, who was on the boy's shoulder, barked in agreement.
"You go and get them, do everything it takes to make them come with you…tell them you have candy in the van or something, whatever it takes!" She told them, eye twitching and leaning on her desk. "Now, I'm allowing this mission a week for completion, I want them back here by next Tuesday to begin their training. Now, here are the directions and statistics," She handed them all pieces of paper with the general information. "Oh and…ahem…their, uh, pictures," She passed out other individual sheets and awaited the reaction. Everyone stared in disbelief, the guys a bit more intrigued with this mission than the girls.
"But…but…they're umm…" The Inuzuka stuttered, cocking his head and turning the paper, unable to finish his sentence. Sasuke just stared, wide-eyed, speechless. Sakura looked away and Hinata nearly fainted.
"They're…" Naruto began, "They're taking showers! Who took these pictures, Ero-Sannin?!" Naruto yelled, Kakashi immediately took the paper to examine this situation. Of course, the pictures didn't reveal everything, but they certainly left little to the imagination.
"Actually, yes, I sent him to get this information." Tsunade pulled them out of their seats and shuffled them towards the door, everyone still in their stupor. "Now, have fun on this mission and don't come back until you have them with you!" She yelled and gave a big cheeky grin, slamming the door. "Finally, I can get back to work now," She mumbled as she picked up her Sake and turned on the horserace to place her bet.
"What was she thinking, sending Jiraiya-sama to get pictures and information on these two?! Everyone knows he's the king of perverts, what with the books he writes that Kakashi-sensei reads, and his so-called 'research'!" Naruto yelled as they walked out of the building. Kakashi just smiled and Sasuke was silent.
"I have to say, that was quite immature of her, regardless of their past." Sakura said, shaking her head. I would have assassinated her in her drunken sleep if I knew she had that done to me, she thought to herself.
"At least we know what they look like." Shino said quietly under his breath. Kiba heard him and busted up laughing while Hinata turned three shades of red. Kurenai raised an eyebrow at her former students, but refrained from commenting on that.
"Well, since we only have a week, we'd best get on our way." The sensei told her team and they all nodded through either fits of laughter or shakings of the head.
The students were now at the high wooden gate and began to walk out, turning as they realised their senseis weren't following.
"Aren't you guys coming?" Sakura asked curiously. The two teachers glanced at each other then back at the group.
"W-Well we have some…uh…teacherly work to do now. So we can't…" Kurenai skated around the fact that they were to meet Asuma and Anko that night at Ichiraku's.
"Yes, we must be off now, we feel that you are all perfectly capable of this on your own. See you in a week! Don't get killed!" Kakashi gave a big smile under his mask to Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura. He gave the victory peace sign to his previous charges and the large gates of Konoha slammed the friends out. All of the teenagers sweat-dropped and looked at each other, the Uzamaki then flipped out and started running in circles like a chicken with its head cut off.
"They left us to do it on our own?! A mission like this?! I hate that stupid book-loving sensei!" He yelled then gripped his hair and melted to the ground.
"I know I was gone for a while, but I didn't think you could get weaker in that amount of time, dobe." Sasuke sneered and went back to his normal sulking self.
"It-It'll be ok, Naruto-kun, w-we can do i-it!" Hinata gave quiet encouragement to her friends.
"Yeah, come on, Naruto, you saw how hot these girls were, especially the older one. This'll be fun!" Kiba exclaimed pumping his fist in the air and walking egotistically forward, the others following.
"I suppose you're right, dog-boy, this could get real interesting," Naruto said thoughtfully, wrapping his arm around his pup-loving friend's shoulder, walking along with him. Sakura rolled her eyes at the pair, Sasuke walked emotionlessly ahead of everyone, and Shino and Hinata began forward, the girl's face a bit sad. The group of friends disappeared into the horizon as they began on a journey none of them would forget.
A/N: Short, we know, but it was only the very beginning. The chapters will be very long, we promise! Bug is a stickler for grammar, so if you see any grammatical errors, please inform us-as well as any others and we'll try to fix it. But, we request that you don't flame, because we will answer to it. Oh, and some notes.
1. Obviously this takes place in Shippuuden, and yes, Sasuke came back when Sakura and Naruto and Sai went to get him. We've changed things around a bit. I guess one thing is left...
PLEASE REVIEW! Bug will give you cookies...GIANT COOKIES! And Pixie Sticks.