Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine, I am not Stephenie Meyer. As much as I wish I was.
Enjoy!
Be safe.
Those words flashed before my eyes as I looked around the room.
I never once thought about changing my room around once I moved in with Charlie, but that could be explained with countless reasons. Maybe I was too busy? Of course you were! you spent all your time with him! I flinched at my mind screaming the obvious to me.
Frustrated with my thoughts, I was about to go to my window when the honk of a car startled me.
They're here.
I ran down the stairs as quickly, but still as cautiously as I could and left the house. Charlie was out on duty, and was already informed that I would not be home tonight, because I would be staying out at Jess's house.
I laughed to myself as I ran out to Jacob's rabbit, with a hopeful grin on my face.
Why did I lie to Charlie about spending the night with Jake? It's not like he would disapprove of anything?
No, it's because tonight we would be doing something very reckless, very stupid. Something that would make motorcycles look like the merry-go-round at a theme park.
"Hey Bells." Jake smiled as I got into the passenger seat.
"Did you get the stuff Jake?" I asked impatiently. If backed out, I would be seriously ticked off.
"Of course." spoke a familiar voice from the back.
I turned around to see a smiling Embry and Quil sitting in the back.
"Well if it isn't the young ones, come to join our party tonight?" I laughed.
They both pouted and stared at me, threatening me to go on.
"Be nice Bella, they wanted to come for the fun too. Are you sure you want to do this?"
"I wouldn't change my mind for anything in the world Jake." I spoke to him proudly. Of course there is one thing...
"Let's get going, the night is young!" I yelled a little to enthusiastically.
I was met with equal cheers and whoops as Jacob drove towards First Beach in La Push.
"Come on Bells, I think you've had enough." Embry looked at me with worry evident in his eyes.
"No guys, come on, we are supposed to be having FUN, How can we ALL have fun if YOU guys just sit there and WHINE the whole time." I screamed while running around the driftwood campfire that was made.
The plan was consume a little bit of alcohol, just for fun. I had told Jacob before that I only wanted a little, I did not want to get drunk. He was hesitant at first, but finally gave into my wishes. Now, I just had to try and drink as much as I can without Jake noticing, but it was a little harder considering there was not one, but three wary werewolves watching my every move.
"Jake, do you think she's had enough?" Quil questioned.
"NO!" I screamed. "I mean, I'm fine, n-not feeling anything at all ok?" I walked over to Jake in an attempt to be seductive. "Please Jakey, just a little more?" I batted my eyelashes.
He looked at me for a while, when I noticed his eyes glazed over. Did I really just dazzle him? Just like he used to dazzle you all the time.
I flashed my eyes over to Embry and Quil, looking at each other with amused faces.
"Yeah Jake, won't you give her a little more?" Quil spoke suggestively at him.
"Cut it out guys, Bella, are you sure you can handle it?" He looked at me anxiously.
"Yes."
He poured me another glass of some clear liquid with a soda and handed it over. I chugged it down, ignoring the bitter taste of alcohol.
"Bella, please stop...you should not be doing this to yourself." The sound of velvet being tortured rang into my ears. I smiled to myself, here it comes.
"Jake, guys. I think I need to use the bathroom." The boys looked at each other for a minute.
"Are you sure you can go by yourself?" Jake asked while trying to hold me upright.
"Yes, I'm sure I can go pee all by myself thank you!" I spoke as I walked irritated towards the dark forest.
As soon as I made it into the veil of trees I pulled a small bottle out of my shoulder bag. After reading the label I quickly figured out that the brown contents inside was called Whiskey. I popped it open and drank the whole thing.
The taste was HORRIBLE. I felt my head spin as my stomach threatened to spill over. After a few deep breaths, the need to vomit had died down, and I was on my way through the forest again.
It felt like I had been walking for hours, my mind had rarely thought of the dangers that occurred in forests in the wee hours of the morning. I found myself on the ground a few times too. But I was not finished, I had to find what I was looking for.
"Isabella! You are being unreasonably stupid! Please, Stop, Call for Jacob, He'll hear you!" My illusion kept screaming at me.
I was flying.
It didn't matter that deep down I was terrified, or that I was freezing cold and covered in cuts, bruises, and mud from falling. I had finally achieved something so far away in all these months. I was Numb.
I started to laugh freely.
"Is there a Mr. Edward Cullen out here this evening?" I screamed at the leaves on the trees.
I was free, jumping around the forest at this time was the happiest moment I had had in so long.
"Oh Edward, come out to play with your little human, she's out here waiting, bleeding, begging for you to join her."
Then I saw it, the break in the trees.
With all the running and jumping and falling, I must not have realized I was heading uphill. Just a few yards ahead were the cliffs.
"BELLA!" I jumped to the noise looking around frantically. Nothing.
His voice had been so loud, sounding as though it was echoing off the trees.
But that's insane Bella, why would he come all out of his way for you anyways?
The Hole in my chest began to throb again. This was not good, the numbing was slowly wearing off.
I grabbed the my bag and began to search through it quickly, while using my other arm to keep my lungs from falling apart.
There. I looked at the label of the small bottle again, The words were too blurry to read but it looked like the the same clear alcohol Jake had provided earlier. Without thinking I popped of the cap and poured the contents into my mouth. My small frame shook violently from the taste but I pushed it back. Looking around I could see my vision going more blurry.
I stumbled towards the break in the trees when I could of swore I heard someone sobbing. I turned around for a second time, expecting a visitor, but I was still alone.
"Bella...please, don't." His velvet voice sounded so strangled, so it must of been him crying.
I was not in the mood for downers so I spoke to his voice.
"You don't have anymore say of what I do Edward! What do you care?" I yelled into the dark abyss.
So here I was, screaming to myself at whatever hour in the morning. Good thing La Push was pretty much deserted.
But it wasn't, why hadn't Jake, Embry or Quil come find me yet? If they haven't heard me, wouldn't they just follow my scent, would they find me soon. I began to panic.
"No, they won't." Edward spoke into my mind again. "The alcohol you've been drinking has released into your blood stream, making you smell much different." There was sadness in his voice. He knew no one would find me now.
"Good." I said out loud.
I started my journey towards the cliffs again. But as I walked near the edge I realized this wasn't the lower cliff, because I was staring down at the lower cliff at the moment.
You were the one who wanted to jump off the high one.
I grimaced at the truth in my thoughts.
My footsteps grew lighter and more cautious as I neared the edge of the cliff. I took a breath as I began to remove the extra clothing I had been wearing for the cold night air.
Standing on the edge, and looking out to the ocean was suddenly very calming. I looked down at myself in my bathing suit, taking notice at the lack of body I had left. Shrugging it off I took in my surroundings. The moon was high in the sky, surrounded by flecks of light. I became entranced by the groupings of stars, making images that only an intoxicated person could create. After spotting my seventh tree like group, something bright flashed by. A comet.
I was dazzled by the amazing grace of this work of nature, how it flew through the sky, working as its own little night light. I wondered how many people were up to witness this right now.
My plan to stay strong and numb suddenly failed when the tears involuntarily poured from my eyes. Of course he would be watching this, unless he was as easily distracted as he said he would be. I cried out in anger. Why did he have to leave me. Why did he tell me that he loved me, only to shatter my heart. For a moment I even wished that he had never came into my life. That was a mistake.
My sub-concious immediately turned against me, displaying all the memories I had so carefully hid away months ago. I cried out in pain, my lungs were on fire and my heart was trying to escape the agony I had made for it. I stumbled to the ground while my arms held so tightly to my chest. My whole body knew that no matter how much I tried, I would never, ever forget Edward, or any of the Cullens.
"I'm so sorry." Edward spoke.
"You don't need to be." I replied back. "It's my fault." I spoke quietly. While sitting on the ground, I had realized how tired I was. Laying down I began to hum my lullaby. My voice sounded sub-par compared to the angels whisper that soon accompanied me. I was calm and at ease for once, and drifted off to sleep as a pair of cold, firm arms wrapped around my shaking frame.