Disclaimer: You recognise it then I probably don't own it. I'm just borrowing Mick…

Author note: This is my take on what Mick was thinking as FTP ends…

Rated R just to be safe (basically, I'd rather rate it too high than too low)

Please leave comments, it's the only food my muses accept…

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He stood there, staring out over the city with unseeing eyes. Thoughts racing through his mind. Everything that had happened over the last few days. If he was honest with himself he hadn't felt this confused since around the time he was turned when everything was new. Everything was once again new.

Becoming human again had been everything he wanted for so long and now here he was. A vampire once more. For some strange reason he didn't feel so bad about that. This had him a little confused. He'd felt bad about being a vampire for so long. He'd wanted to be anything but ever since Coraline turned him against his will.

Maybe that was why it was different this time. He had wanted this. He had actually asked to be turned. Almost had to beg Josef to do it before he consented. He had wanted to be a vampire since it meant he could save Beth. He couldn't loose Beth. Not now. Not when he knew exactly how much she meant to him. He was in love with her. In love in a way he had never been with Coraline.

That in and of itself was a confusing concept. He had always been convinced that Coraline was his one true love, that he would never find anyone else. Convinced he, as a vampire, a monster, didn't deserve happiness and love. Now here he was. Love and happiness within his grasp and what did he do? Tell her it was too dangerous.

He growled and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. He wanted her. More than he had ever wanted anyone before. But he was afraid. It had been so long since he'd bitten a human. Too long since he'd managed to make the bite pleasurable for the many freshies he'd fed on during Josef's many wild parties.

That was another thing. Ever since he'd bitten her in the desert he'd had a craving to bite her again. Bite a human. The blood he got from the morgue wasn't satisfying his needs anymore. Now with being a vampire again, the craving had increased. As if feeding on Josef had made him need the willing blood of a freshie even more than before. He would have to talk to Josef about that one of these days.

Being turned by his best friend, his brother, had been a strange experience. The more Mick thought about it, the more he suspected that his own torment over being a vampire had vanished for three distinct reasons. Number one, he had been the one asking for it this time. He had walked into this with open eyes, known what he was getting himself into and accepting the consequences. Number two, Josef's reluctance at turning him, knowing how much Mick had hated it in the past, had somehow made it easier. That reluctance along with Josef's own love and comfort with being a vampire had somehow transcended Mick's usual bad conscience. Number three, Beth. Beth and her acceptance of what and who he was. He knew now, without a doubt, that she wanted him. To her it didn't matter if he was a vampire or a human as long as they were together.

She didn't care about that. All she cared about was that he was happy and that they were together. The realisation made him sit down. Maybe she and Josef were right. He wasn't afraid she would get hurt. He was afraid he would if she ever decided the vampire thing was too much. He had bitten her and he knew she couldn't have enjoyed it. He had been too out of it to even attempt making it pleasurable. What would she think of being bitten again?

Before they did anything, he had to find out. Had to talk to her. Really talk this time. That's when he knew. He wanted to try. He wanted them to move forward. He wanted her. The rest didn't matter. All that mattered was that they had each other. The rest would be solved somehow.

Mick smiled then and jumped down. He checked the time. It was much too late to call her now. He would talk to her tomorrow after his breakfast meeting with his new client. He smiled again and walked down from the roof to his apartment, the light of dawn on the horizon.