Another snapshot of what was missing in the book In the hand of the Goddess.

He opened the door. His eyes were bright as he looked at her. Alanna swallowed, "I'm scared. Help me, please."

Jonathan's voice was rough as he said, "I'm scared too. At least we can be scared together."

She stepped tentatively through his door closing her own behind her. She took a deep breath, fighting panic. For a moment she felt as though she had closed off her only escape.

Her chin quivered dangerously, "I don't know what to do." She whispered. She was nervous. Jon smoothed her hair bringing his hand to rest on the back of her head. The other arm he used to pull her into a hug, a strong, tight, reassuring hug.

"It's all right Alanna," he reassured her. He pulled her toward the bed and gently sat her down. As he held her around her beautiful body his hands itched to touch her, to remove her clothes and show her what he knew, but he knew that she was not ready, so he sat next to her.

"Now what?" She murmured, not sure what to expect.

"Honestly, we can just sit here if you would rather. I don't mind if you're not ready for sex. I just want to love you." He answered. He knew it was the kind of corny line that young men used on young women all of the time, but he truly meant it.

"I don't know, Jon." She whispered. Her desire for him warred with her fear of love deep within her stomach. She summoned her courage and managed to breathe, "kiss me please."

From his position next to her he leaned and gently connected lips in a soft kiss. After a moment, he pulled away, just a bit, to give her a chance to take it all in and to stop him if she wanted him to stop. But she had felt the electricity between that kiss and she leaned forward for more.

Satisfied that she wanted to continue, he used one hand to pull her head closer, another he wrapped around her back. He hesitated a moment, unsure of how she would react, before gently inserting his tongue into her mouth. She was a natural, he noticed as she pulled her body still closer in response to his deepened kiss.

Alanna was surprised by her heightened feeling in her breasts. In their kissing, she pushed him backward so that he sat against the wall once more with his feet ahead, she sat on his lap, straddling him and leaned in, crushing her chest against his. She was surprised when the movement caused lightning to go shooting up her abdomen from between her legs. She pressed with her pelvis causing more lightning. She was surprised when she felt something hard between his legs.

"What?" She asked as she gasped for breath.

He laughed, "It's me, that feels really good. You made me hard."

"I did that?" She demanded incredulously.

"Yes! You're better at this than you think."

"I've never done this before. I've only heard from the other boys."

"Well you picked up something or other." He had somehow grabbed both of her hands as they kissed. He used one thumb to gently caress the skin between her thumb and forefinger. "Do you want to stop?"

She kissed him again in reply. This time, she thrust with her hips. With each thrust, the hard mass beneath got harder and more pronounced and the more she felt when she pushed along its length. He gently placed his hands under her shirt, feeling the gentle curve of her waist. He felt her ribs as his hands slowly continued. He wanted to give her plenty of time to stop him. She suddenly stopped, froze. Her face was thoughtful, then a flash of decision. It's ok, she whispered.

He brought his hands up and began to unwind the bandages that she had wrapped around her breasts. He wanted to rip them off, but he knew that they probably hurt her enough already. Once the bandages had been dropped to the floor, he took one breast in his hand. He felt it, gently squeezed it. He brushed his thumb across the nipple which hardened pleasingly. She continued kissing and thrusting. He pulled her shirt off tossing it to the floor. He had to pull away from her kiss. He wanted to see her. She had lines from where the bandages were, but she was still achingly beautiful. He leaned forward using his mouth to suck on one nipple. He wrapped his lips around his teeth and applied gentle pressure. The little gasp that escaped her lips only made him want her more. He played with the other in the same way.

She pulled him backward through their pants she could feel him, and she continued to thrust until he regretfully pulled away. "We have to stop now," he said. I'm about to come. He explained that it was messy. When she asked, he explained that usually girls swallowed it after head or it was left inside after sex.

Suddenly, she was unsure again. "Jon," she whispered, "tell me about head."

"It's where you use your mouth to make the other person come." He answered, in his mind he couldn't help but to visualize her.

"Guys actually like that?"

"Yeah. It feels really good."

Alanna took a deep breath. She wasn't sure exactly what she was doing. She was a little afraid, but she wanted to make Jon feel good. She unbuttoned his pants with shaky fingers, pulling them slowly out of the way. She felt like she stood at the edge of a cliff trying to jump off. After a moment, she leapt, she leaned forward and began.

Alanna ran her tongue in awkward circles around the circumference, she tried running her tongue along its length. After a few moments Jon gently whispered, "try just moving up and down with me inside your mouth."

Thankful for his help, she wasn't sure what she was doing, she obliged. She was pleased to feel him shiver, then to hear his breath come in ragged. Now and again, she would go too far down and gag leaving gooey liquid at the back of her throat. A few times Jon had to gently remind her not to use her teeth. Then, after what seemed like an eternity, he put a hand on her head, she knew enough from the other squires to know that girls were supposed to hate this, she didn't mind it though. In fact, it only turned her on more that Jonathan was enjoying her so much that he couldn't help it. He just seemed desperate to touch her. He crinkled her short hair in his hand, his breath speeding. A few moments later, she felt his penis tighten and loosen several times and felt a horrible tasting liquid enter her mouth. She fought to describe it, to swallow it, and to not throw it back up.

He handed her a cup of spiced cider, "Here, it'll help with the taste."

While she drank, he pulled her up. She handed him back the cup then lay down in the curve of his body. He played with her breasts, then let his hand slide below her breeches, below her loincloth. He had more experience than Alanna, he knew just where to touch her. She moved sensually against him, after a moment, he undressed her, completely, then continued exploring her beautiful vagina. He left the clitoris to push one finger into her. She thrust against his hand. He gently worked another finger in as she continued thrusting. Suddenly, she ghasped. He knew it hurt her when he felt her violently and involuntarily tighten around his fingers. He whispered soothingly, "It's ok, relax and don't break my fingers."

She breathed for the first time in several seconds and tried to relax. She felt his fingers pull out and felt the raw feeling they left. When she turned around, he was using the bandages to wipe blood off of his fingers.

"I'm sorry. Could I really have broken your fingers?"

"No but I had to say something to calm you down. It's ok."

Suddenly, Alanna was tired. "Can we stop for tonight?"

In response, he pulled her into the curve of his body and draped one arm gently over her. She snuggled into him yawning.