as i look up, my arms still around no onion. at one time, i wouldn't have been caught dead in this postion, but now, i really don't care.
i looked up, and saw ithurn. he was fighting bravely against the creature that hurt no onion. no matter what we do, it seems we can't kill it. i think about what was said. where it's weakest. it's no where on the outside. what about....
i take one last look at no onion. i know that if this doesn't work i might very well be killed. i see him taking labored, shallow breaths. despite myself, i kiss him. i figure, it's the first, and may sure as hell be the last.
i stand up, and charge straight towards it. shit, it's growing those metal plates. gotta beat em.
i manage to bury my shoulder into it's gut, and tackle it to the ground. i began punching it in
the jaw, trying to force it to open it's mouth wide. finally, i hear it's jaw snap, and it opened
. i shoved a bomb down it's throat, and try to get away. not fast enough. the last thing i
remember is hearing an explosion, being thrown into the air, and seeing the ground...
As the bomb settled in the monsters stomach, Claude looked at everyone as they were attacking the monster.
He then thought to himself, "Well the only thing that seems to have worked is chopping off one of the monsters hands. I think that might be it." Claude then ran at the monster while aluding many of his ice bolts. Then as claude neared, he hit the monster and chopped his other hand off.
"OK guys it should be able to take some damage now, the hands must have been protecting it in some WAYYYYYYYYYY..."
Then as claude finished what he was saying, a blast of ice hit him square in the chest and he was frozen. Then many more blasts of ice hit him at once.
Now claude looked like a huge icicle, but he was trapped inside of it...frozen alive...
Ithurn gasped in shock as the entire party was decimated by the beast. Onion was poisoned, Chisato was fragged, and the beast turned Claude into a Blondie-cicle.
He thought as he ducked behind a tree. A second later, the sound of ice bolt after ice bolt crashing into the tree filled the air.... Then the bolts stopped. Glancing out from behind the tree, Ithurn had just enough time to fall to his knees before a missle slammed into the side of the frozen tree, shattering it and continuing on through the woods. The shards fell upon Ithurn, cutting his back, neck, and arms. Bursting out of the pile, Ithurn sprinted off towards Claude`s frozen form, the beast firing a hail of missles after him. Slamming his claymore into the side of the icicle,the sword narrowly (Accident ! Accident !!!) missing his ally`s torso. Gritting his teeth and gripping the handle of the blade, Ithurn pulled until the Claude-pop began to crack. Hearing a guffaw from the beast, Ithurn glanced up in time to be caught directly in the stomach by a missle. Since his hands were still on the blade, the icicle was pried open and Claude was freed.. Of course now, Ithurn was rocketing backwards through the forest, the missle threatening to detonate any second.. By some strange, and painful, twist of luck, a branch thwacked Ithurn upside the back of the head. At such a speed, it jolted his frame enough to allow the missle to slide on past and off into the forest, detonating a safe distance away, as Ithurn fell back to the ground. On his knees, staring at the ground, he felt the warm trickle of blood as the wound on his head was once more smacked open.
Clutching the back of his head, his vision faltering, Ithurn tried to stagger back to the field of battle. He hadn`t gotten far before the beast`s next volley had caught up with him...
Flinging his body to the side and in the cover of the nearby dense brush, Ithurn continued to clumbsily yet stealthily advance toward the beast once more..
Claude was frozen until Ithurn had managed to crack the frozen patch of ice that resembled an icicle. Claude quickly burst out of the icicle and turned toward Ithurn with a look of thanks...
After he gave his thanks, he turned toward the fierce creature once more. His sword was held high in the air once more and he emerged on the beast. He was quicker than usual, mostly because the rage that swelled up inside from the blasts of ice that he had just taken. Claude jumped into the air and then did his cross slash attack, sending the beast backwards.
The beast wasn't about to be taken out lightly though. He shot out many different forms of attacks, some poison, ice, fire, and lightning balls. The balls spread out in each direction.
Claude was on the border of the Lightning and fire attacks. He looked at them as they came his way. Claude ducked down to narrowly avoid a fireball that flew over his head, but then was not quick enough to react to the bolt of lightning that flew towards him. Claude was knocked backwards and he could not move for a few seconds. After those seconds were over, Claude saw that the attacks had stopped and that the beast was slowly moving towards him. He used all his might to get back up and he started to run away from him.
The beast stopped and looked at everyone who was attacking him and then tryed to find a weakness...he saw one for nearly everyone and then he tryed to use it against them...
(Right now he is using his weaknesses against us in clones or using your own fears against u...do with it what u will, but no one else can see the clones or fears...u must conquer them on your own. Everyone is also in a blank world right now. Once you defeat the fear or clone, then u can return to the world to fight the evil...)
Claude turned around and saw that the beast had stopped. Then he thought, "Hmm...wonder what he's up to..."
After a few seconds, the Ten Wise Men came out of the sky...Claude was now surrounded by his worst enemies, and he had no one to help him. He knew that these were not the real wise men, because this creature that he was fighting would go down before Claude would even get a shot at them...
Claude stared and raised his sword once more, he hoped that he had enough to do what it took to win this battle. He knew that he would be fighting it alone...
jin had prepaed to strike once more then every thing blanked out
Jin: What the hell is this. What's hapeanning to me.
The once blank world then turned into a giant battle arena in the shape of a maze. There was a announcer talking.
Announcer: good morninng everyone this is a fight to see. Jin is going to fight everyone he has deafted once before. not only this they will all fight at the same time. Jin? you might want to start running away.
Jin turned around and began to run threough the maze there were hundreds of people that he had kiled for one reason or another chasing him. JIn had wanted to turn back but it's to much people and they would have surly killed them. It seemed that jin had been running for hours when someone stop in front of him it was dais.
Dias: you weak fighter. We were like brothers and now you run! we are the strongest we will fight back right little bro?
Jin: I have never beat you in a battle. I surly never killed you.
Then crono showed up.
crono: but you killed me for no reason.
Jin: you took my soul and fusioned with me so we could be a better fighter. when I had finally escaped I was blood thirsty so I killed you who else now I'll kill you again.
Jin slashed crono and crono fell to the ground. Dias looked at Jin happily. the both of them went to take out the army of people and all of the suddent Jin was back into the normal world.
Ithurn staggered behind the cover of another tree, gasping for air. Another salvo of magical projectiles rocketing past the tree let him know the beast hadn`t lost sight of him.. The trail of blood he had left certainly didn`t help him hide from the beast. Suddenly, Ithurn`s vision was plunged into darkness ! He felt weightless..Then, just as suddenly as his vision had left him, his sight returned, only now he lay at the bottom of a deep pit. Laying on his back, he could see out of the hole into the bleak sky lying above. Ithurn tried to get up, but quickly discovered he could not move !!! Every last muscle in his body was rendered immobile. His father stood at the edge of the pit, peering down on his son.
"What a pitiful waste..."
Ithurn wondered as he still struggled to move.
"...Hmph. Some hero your son turned out to be." Another voice said.
"Yes.. It`s only a matter of time before the Wisemen come here. I`m thankful his mother isn`t alive to see this.. If the Wisemen wouldn`t have killed her, the disgrace of her son`s failure certainly would have. "
A low rumble could be heard in the sky. Not like the rumble of thunder, though.. The ground began to shake.
His father stared into the sky for a moment, before returning his hateful gaze upon the body of his son.
"I hope you burn in hell, Ithurn.. Because of you...we`re all going to die. "
The earth began to rumble, and the dirt piled by the grave began to topple in on Ithurn`s body. The skies were parted by an eerie, hellish glow.. The glow poured upon the land and spread, destroying anything and everything in its wake. Spitting on his son`s corspe, Ithurn`s father turned and faced the oncoming surge of energy. Ithurn watched in horror as the very flesh of his father was stripped off of his bones in an instant. A second blast of energy shot fourth and blasted the skeleton into pieces strewn across the graveyard.
Ithurn repeated over and over in his head as his world began to tear apart.
His thoughts turned to the others, who, as far as he knew, were still fighting the creature..Or, at least, he hoped they were still alive to fight.
All he needed was one jolt of reality..He just couldn`t shake this dream by himself..
Claude grabbed his sword and tried to slice at one of the wisemen...he couldn't even reach one of them...they seemed closer than what they really were.
The wisemen came closer and they shot their magic at him. Claude avoided most of the magic and made it crash into two of the wisemen, leaving them to look like a pile of ashes.
The other eight wisemen then threw all their magic at claude and he avoided their magic once more...he had a thought now and it just might work...
He kept circling around until all of the wisemen were hit with their own magic and there was only one wisemen left...
Now what, he thought to himself...well, I guess I will just have to fight him myself...bring it on...he raised his sword and went in towards the final clone of the wisemen. Then everything dissapeared as easily as it came upon them...
He looked to Ithurn and then he saw that he was still in the dream world...well, I guess I have to do this...he brought up his fist and smacked him in the face. Once Ithurn awoke, Claude said, "Sorry man, I don't bitch slap." Then he looked up at the monster once more.
"Alright, let's hurt this thing..."
chisato shook her head. suddenly, somthing dark blocked her view.
"chisato, get up."
the figure extended a hand. chisato grabbed it, and found that it was no onion. as he helped her up, he pushed her right back down.
"n..no onion?"
"ha," he laughed, "you think you can find love? especially from me? i can have more girls then you've ever seen. why would i need you?"
"n..no! your not real!"
"oh? watch this."
and no onion snapped his fingers. fifty women that were certainly better looking and bustier than chisato ruched to no onion.
"when i can have this, you think i would want you?"
chisato had finally had enough. taking a page from no onion's book, she kicked him in the gut. as he bent over, she grabbed his head and proceeded to perform a powerful ddt.
everything got hazy. she found herself back in the real world, and saw claude and ithurn fighting
against the monster...
Ithurn groggily got to his feet, rubbing the side of his face. "...Much appreciated." he muttered, with a red imprint of Claude`s fist now on his face.
Quickly re-equipping his claymore and facing the beast, Ithurn took a deep breath.
"Gawd this is gonna suck..."
The beast did an about face,and looked directly at them, a slight look of surprise on its face. Not giving the beast a second to react, Ithurn shot forward until he came to the beast`s feet. His vision once more began to blur, and the only thing he could see was the familiar blue and purple void. The monster`s massive frame faded into view, and Ithurn knelt down
A strange purplish aura could be seen surrounding Ithurn, slowly fading into reality like a cloud of mist. The beast raised its arms high above its head, bringing its two massive fists together to hammer punch Ithurn into the ground. This was what Ithurn was waiting for..
With a savage cry Ithurn lept straight into the air, bringing his sword up as he flew high into the air, cutting a huge slash across the beast`s chest. The force of the slash was so great that even this mighty beast was driven back a bit.
Eventually, gravity took over and Ithurn began to plummet towards earth, the purple aura growing thicker around him. As he fell back infront of the beast, Ithurn brought the blade back down as hard as he could, slashing another gash down its chest. Landing back on the ground, Ithurn took far too long to recover, and was quickly punted across the battlefield by a very angry monster. Rolling to a stop, Ithurn got back to his feet, apparently unscathed, and rushed back into the fight..
The beast was hurt pretty bad by Ithurn's blasts to the chest...it was looking pretty bad now...only a few more shots and it would be history, unless it could do something up to stop them...
Claude looked at the beast and went in towards it...he threw his sword into it and it fell backwards. It fell slowly and then landed with a big thud. After a few seconds, the beast had not moved and it started to materialize...
The beast was gone and then claude moved to the others, "Anyone hurt? Let's decide what to do now?"
NO ONION FIGHTS JIN
no onion stood there, with his spatula drawn, standing in a fencing stance. jin drew his sword.
"are you sure you wanna do this?" asked jin
"you should ask yourself that."
no onion did a swinging advance. jin easily blocked it. no onion spun around, and came at the side of jin's head. jin got hit, and fell. he rolled to the side, hopped back up, and came out swinging. no onion blocked almost every blow, but finally, jin knocked the spatula out of his hand.
jin threw down his sword. "i will not fight an unarmed man armed"
no onion charged, and speared jin. jin fell. instead of following thru with punches, no onion rolled thru, and got to his feet. jin did a pop up, and walked over to no onion. no onion got into a amature wrestilng stance. jin began to throw lighting fast punches. no onion couldn't even block them. finally, he managed to grab jin's fist, and pull him down for a reverse armbar.
jin flipped around, and popped up, throwing no onion back. no onion landed on his feet. jin began to throw a combo of kicks and punches, knocking no onion to the ground. jin then picked up his sword.
"i thought you didn't use arms against an unarmed man?"
"i lied."
faster than the eyes could follow, jin's sword was against no onion's neck.
"i see you try to use as much yang as you can. that's good, but it's not everything. grapple moves are your specialty. the thing is, you need to try to mix things. you need to use more yin. i know you use both in real fights, but if you dont practice both, you will become weak. here."
jin pulled a dagger out of it's sheath on his side, and threw it into no onion's shoe.
"here, this weapon is more suitable."
jin turned his back, and continued training. no onion pulled the dagger out of his shoe, and stared confused...
NO ONION WINS AGAINST A STREET GAMBLER
isato stared up at all the lights. this place looked somewhat like fun city, but with a lot more hookers. she looked over at no onion, who had already found himself a street gambler. she walked up to him.
"no onion, these thigs are scams!"
"hush," he said, focusing on the cups that were being switched around. "i know that. there's a trick to winning."
"you can;t win, that's why it's a scam."
"alright," said the gambler, "where is the marble?"
no onion chuckled. "in your left coat pocket."
the gambler got a startled look on his face that turned to anger. he tossed a two hundred fol bill to the ground. "here. go away!"
no onion laughed, picked up the bill, and walked back to the group...
NO ONION PLAYS GENERAL PATTON
wait," said no onion, not quite understanding what the agent person was telling him, "did you say i'm going back to HOUSTON?"
"umm, thats right, sir," siad the little man with a clipboard, "you and Ms. Chisato are being sent to houston as the head of a group of five soldiers. Your to fight and kill Basaruka."
but all no onion heard was "your going to houston." back home. back where he belonged. he burst into song.
"where every body knows your naaaammme, and they're always glad you caaaame."
the man with the clipboard joined in,
"we wanna go, where the people go, and friends are all the same, we wanna go, where every body, knows your naaame."
chisato merely looked at the two oddly.
"oh, that's right, honey. you've never seen cheers. it's this show, and..never mind. hey, clipboard guy. where's our troops?"
a group of five agents walked up. on immediatly expressed his displeasure.
"wait, who's our commander?"
"i am," said no onion immediatly.
"what are you? a sonic cookie?"
"that's exactly what i am. got a problem?"
"yeah. YOUR A FAST FOOD COOKIE!"
"hey, chill," whispered another soldier, "i hear that company twelve got a primative."
no onion smiled to himself. he had always wanted to play the part of general patton.
"ATTTEEEEENNN HUT!"
the company came to attention.
"LISTEN YOU MAGGOTS!! YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME! IF YOU DO NOT, I WILL PUT MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS. YOU WILL FIGHT AS A UNIT. YOU WILL LIVE AS A UNIT. YOU WILL EVEN TAKE A PISS AS A UNIT!!! DISRESPECT ME, FOOT UP YOUR ASS. DISRESPECT OPERATIVE CHISATO, FOOT UP YOUR ASS. COMPLAIN ABOUT A FOOT UP YOUR ASS, OOOOHHH, YOU BETTER BELIVE THATS A FOOT UP YOUR ASS."
they looked at no onion with eyes wide. but, at the least, they were ready to listen...
NO ONION AND CHISATO'S FIRST TIME
Chisato and No onion were in their quarters. Chisato was already ready for bed. No onion, however, was pouring over the information that they had on the monster. All they truly had was a small knowledge of a few of its attacks. One would steal a person's energy little by little. Another would send chunks of meteorites raining down on things. And yet another would send wave after wave of energy.
"No onion, would please stop pacing around the room? It's getting late, and you need some sleep."
"Yeah, I suppose your right. And how many times have I told you, your allowed to call me Brian."
No onion stripped down to his boxers, pulled out a blanket, and attempted to hit the floor.
"No..Brian, what are you doing?"
"I can't sleep in the same bed as you."
Chisato laughed. "All those women you've been with, and you won't even sleep in the same bed as me? I thought you loved me…"
"Umm, well, honey, about those women…. You see, I was very rarely WITH them…"
Chisato got an odd look on her face. "Wait. All the women that just ran to you when you snapped your fingers, and your telling me you never had sex with them?"
"Well, a few times."
"Like, how many?"
"Only three or four. The thing is, it never MENT anything. I snapped, they came, we danced, and they left. With you, well, I'm beginning to feel for you in ways I've never really felt. I don't want to throw it all away for a little bit of fun."
"Brian. Tonight might be our last night together. You almost died in the last battle. If you were to die, I.. I don't know what I'd do."
"Chisy, don't talk like that."
"Look, Brian. Any time we're together means something to me. Does it mean anything to you?"
"I told you, yes."
"Then get into bed and kiss me"…
THE MORNING AFTER
no onion's eyes fluttered open. the bed sheets were in dissarray, as tho he had had a wild night. but the fact that he had no hangover disproved that. as did the fact that no one was laying next to him. finally, a thougth popped into his sleep deadened mind.
"chisy..?" he mumbled. the smell of eggs wafted to his nose. he then heard the sound of sizziling to accompany it. someone was cooking eggs. no onion sat up, and ran his hand thru his blue hair.
"chisy? are you cooking eggs?"
there was no answer, as none was needed. he saw chisato in the small rooms kitchen, wearing his shirt and standing over the stove.
"brian, your up. i'm cooking breakfast. we need to be at the hanger in about an hour."
"two questions. one, why are you wearing my shirt? and two, why are you cooking only eggs? no bacon, no sausage, just eggs?"
"Ummm, yeah. just eggs. errrrr, bacon and sausage are...umm, bad for you, yeah, that's it. just eat the eggs."
no onion was too tired to say much else except, "can i have my shirt back?"
"no need. in the closet are two federation uniforms. they requested that we wear them"
"requseted, but not demanded? well, i need some new clothes anyways."
no onion got out of bed, took a shower, and put on the outfit. he was now dressed in a very similar manner to claude, except that he had kept his hat. he sat at the table, and awaited breakfast...
PROBLEMS IN HOUSTON
Chistao's eyes grew wide.
"SHIT! PEOPLE, READY YOUR WEAPONS. WHEN YOU SEE THE MONSTER, FIRE AT WILL!!!!!!"
The ground rumbled as the monster walked to where they were. As it came from around a building, they saw it for the first time. It was a huge dragon, fifty feet long, and thirty feet high at it's highest ridge. Truth be told, it resembled a stegosaurus more then anything. Fred, Chelsea and Stephen let loose with phase blast after phase blast. This only drew the monsters attention. It opened it's mouth, and shot a multi-colored beam from it. Chelsea jumped out of the way, but Fred was caught right in the middle of it. His skin shriveled, his eyes hollowed out. It was as tho his life force was being drained out of him. Soon, Fred resembled nothing more than a zombie.
A fire appeared in the monsters eyes. A red energy surrounded it, and for some reason, it lost about ten feet from both height and length.
"FFFFFOOOOODDDDDD…."
Chisato swung the cannon around, and let loose with a powerful blast. The monster opened it's mouth, caught the ball of anti-matter, and literally, ate it.
"PPPOOOOOWWWEERRRR…EEENNNEEERRRGGGYYYYY…YYYEEESSSSS"
Chelsea screamed. The now zombified Fred was attacking her. Working on instinct, Stephen aimed his phase rifle, and blasted him. His head flew off, prompting Chelsea to scream more.
"STEPHEN, CHELSEA, GET IN THE JEEP!! DRIVE, DRIVE, DRIVE. I DON'T CARE WHERE, JUST GET US THE HELL OUTTA HERE!"
As they piled into the jeep, Chisato began to yell into the walkie-talkie.
"Brian! One dead. The anti-matter cannon just made the damn thing stronger. Help!!"
"kkkkhkhkhkhkhkh…Umm, Chisy. Hi. We, err..kkkkkkkkkkhkhkhkhkhkhkhkhkhk…. got our own problems here. Ummm" in the background, fighting noises could be heard, "I'll get back to ya!"
"BRIAN, NOW WOULD BE A REAL GOOD TIME TA TELL ME ABOUT THAT PLAN OF YOURS!!!"
"khkhkhkhkhkh…Yeah, umm…HEEEYYYYAAA….I'm kinda working on it. I'll get back…" and with that, the link went dead…
No onion streched out yet another wire. They were humping it. He knew that he had probably asked for too much. His plan was the loosest, most idiotic thing he had ever created. But, with any luck, it would work.
Fifteen minutes of work. They weren't even half done. And that stupid moaning wasn't helping any.
"WAIT. Do any of you guys hear a moaning sound?"
Kalin, Fred, and Jawad looked at No Onion. Then they began to look past him.
"Behind you." Said Kalin.
No Onion turned around. There was a shrivled, wrinkled looking person.
"What the fuck? Jawad, is that thing alive?"
Jawad slung out a small piece of machinary, pushed a few buttons on it, and read the information.
"Well, it WAS. It's like its life force was drained from it."
No onion just wanted the spooky thing to go away. He materialized a brown bag, and was about to throw it.
"WAIT!!" yelled Kalin, "If you throw that thing, its not gonna do much good."
"This bag will."
"Yeah, I read your bio. Your food explodes. Look, you throw an explosive at it, and it doesn't kill it, then it'll come after us. We don't know what that thing can do."
"Good point. But, I think that ONE thing is the least of our worrys."
"Why's that?" asked Kalin.
"Cause there's a whole slew of 'em behind you."
Kalin, Fred, and Jawad turned around, to see a group of about twenty zombie people. No onion chunked the bag into the group. And, turns out, Kalin was right. The group turned, and shuffled towards them.
"SHIT! KALIN, FRED, KEEP WIRING THIS PLACE!!! JAWAD, WITH ME!!!"
No onion pulled out his spatula, and charged the group, going with a vicious upswing that sent a zombie flying. Jawad charged, using his field knife to slice at the zombies. Right then, No onion's radio started.
"Brian, we got one dead. The antimatter cannon made the thing stronger. HELP!"
Using one hand to slug a zombie, he used the other to grab the radio from his jacket pocket.
"Umm, Chisy. Hi, we kinda got our own problems right now. I'll get back to you."
No onion slung his body downward, and stuck his leg high into the air, delivering a vicious super kick into a zombie's chin. The zombie went flying, and knocked back a group of about four other ones.
"BRIAN, NOW WOULD BE A REAL GOOD TIME TA TELL ME THAT PLAN OF YOURS!!"
"Umm, I'm working on it. I'll get back.." a zombie charged him, and out of shock, he dropped the radio.
"SHIT!!"
He streached his arm out, and clotheslined the thing in the neck. It's neck snapped, and its head rolled to the side.
Right then, Jawad screamed in pain. No onion's head shot to look. A zombie's head was right in front of Jawad's neck, chewing. Soon, Jawad dropped, his neck chewed off.
"SHIT!"
The group of zombies turned towards No onion. No onion ran towards them, jumped, sprung off a zombies head, and landed next to Kalin.
"Look. I'm gonna get these things ta follow me. Wire this thing. Then, use my radio to tell Chisy ta get the damn monster here. Then blow the thing up!!!"
"What about you?"
"I don't matter. Just follow my orders."
No onion threw three bags of food at the group. They began to shuffle amazingly fast towards him. No onion began to run, with the group following…
No onion ran. By now, he was running quite fast, since the zombies were apparently a LOT faster then they had first appeared. He hoped that MAYBE, he could find something in one of the gift shops that would help him. He turned down a hallway.
"AHH!!!!" he exlaimed, as he ran into a group of about fifteen more of the creatures.
"DAMN! For being evacuated, this place sure does have a lot of people!"
He turned down an adjacent hallway, with the previous twenty, and the new fifteen following him. After about five more minutes of running, he ran into a new group of THIRTY zombie people.
"This is just GREAT!!!"
He looked around for a way of escape. There was none. And the zombies were closing in. Suddenly, a thought came to him. The wall behind him was made of glass. He looked out of it, and realized that he was only about fifteen feet off the ground. Sure, it was a concrete ground, but he would prolly survive the fall. He only hoped that his cherry-limade creation would be able to mend broken bones, if needed. He looked around for something to break the window with, and found a hot-dog cart. He grabbed it, and shoved it against the glass. Nothing happened.
"STUPID MOTHER FUCKING PIECE OF….!"
The zombies were a mere ten yards away, and closing in fast. He didn't have TIME for a stupid double paned glass. With a yell of frusteration, he picked up the cart, and chunked it at the window as hard as he could. It shattered thru the glass.
Without a second thought, No Onion dove thru, and barely managed to tuck and roll. He came to a kneeling position, drawing his grease gun.
"COME ON, YOU SON OF A TELETUBBIE!!! COME GET SOMETHING TA DRINK!!!!!"
And he began to fire as the zombies poured thru the broken glass…
OUT OF MP AGAIN
the zombies began to pour thru the window as no onion violently pumped his grease gun.he managed to melt about twenty of them. the thirty left began to walk towards him.
*blub...blub...bluuuubbb...*
his grease gun began to sputter, and finally, run out of grease.
"SHIT!!!"
he tried to materialize a brown bag, but all that apperared in his hand was a puff of smoke.
"SHIT, OUT OF MP!!!"
no onion turned, and began to hoof it once again, on his way to the local sonic
CHISATO'S ENERGY GETS ABSORBED
Chisato ran as fast as she could, occasionally throwing a flare bomb behind her.
"You know this is futile, small one."
"Well..*gasp, pant* it's kept me..*pant* alive THIS long..."
but it wouldn't work for much longer, and she knew it. she was getting tired, and her legs were getting weak. and she was still at least two miles from the airport. suddenly, she tripped over a rock, and tumbled to the ground.
she turned on her back, looking up at the huge lizard man that walked up to her.
"Now, pertty lady, i will absorb your energy, and you will become a part of me."
Chisato screamed as the multi-colored energy began to surround her...
No onion was running towards the airport. he had to make sure the place was wired to blow. he hoped that Chisato had everything worked out.
he was about two miles from the airport, and he heard a scream.
"CHISY?!?!"
he looked around, and saw a huge lizardman standing over Chisato, chisato herself haveing an odd multi-colored energy around her.
Without a second thought, No onion charged the lizard man, and tackled him to the ground.
"YOU!" exclaimed the lizard man.
No onion said nothing, however, as he punched the lizard three times in the face. he then hopped up, and grabbed chisato from the ground.
"CHISY! ARE YOU OK?"
"uhhhnnn"
Chisato was unconcious, so no onion slumped her over his shoulder, and began to run again...
NO ONION'S FIRST ATTACK SPELL
no onion ran, throwing bags of food behind him. it wasn't working, as the lizard man was still easily keeping up. no onion was panting, wondering if he could do anything else he could do that could possibly slow the huge thing down. suddenly, his mind flashed back to a few books he had read once on expel...
* * *
As he looked thru all the books, he found one. it was kinda buried, but after a little bit of digging, he finally pulled it out.
"heraldry arts made fun and easy, vol. I"
"well, gee," he thought to himself, "this seems like just what i need."...
* * *
no onion turned around, and the lizard man, noticing this, stopped.
"ahh, i see that you have finaly accepted your fate."
"Snoopsegan, multioray, schlo, vanlagas"
"what are you talking about?"
"STAR LIGHT!!!"
sevral stars appeared in front of No Onion. they floated high into the air, and shot down rays of light at the lizard. the lizard was knocked back. and no onion kept running...
NO ONION FIGHTS THE MONSTER
the lizard man ran straight at no onion, not even noticing kalin, fred, and chisato. he grabbed no onion, and continued running.
"OH, SHIT!!!" said no onion, attempting to wriggle free. it was to no avail, tho, as the lizard tackled him thru the glass door.
the lizard looked at no onion, cut up and bloody on the ground.
"Now, i will drain you of your energy."
but, before the lizard could make good on his threat, he fell backwards towards the gound. no onion stood up.
"gotta love leg sweeps." he then started running deeper into the airport...
after five minutes, no onion was pretty deep into the airport. he looked behind him to see if the lizard man was following him. however, the monster was no where to be seen.
"where the HELL is he?" that question was answered, however, as no onion felt a fist go right across his face. he stumbled back, and saw the lizard man appear.
"SHIT, YOU CAN TURN INVISIBLE?"
the monster didnt reply, however, as he charged at no onion. No onion moved to the side, and let the monsters momentum take him thru the wall. No onion hopped back, and pulled out his grease gun.
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!"
"yeah, yeah, i've heard it all before." replaied no onion, shooting a wave of firey liquid at the monster. it scremed, as the liquid fire hit him and burnt him. no onion ran back towards the entrance, thinking that the monster was subdued enough. just as he neared the doors, however, he felt a big scaly hand grab the back of his neck. he flew backwards, and let out a yelp of pain as he hit the ticket counter. the next thing he saw was the huge lizard man falling right towards him...
Before no onion could move, the lizard landed with both feet on his chest. the ticket counter collapsed under him, and he began to cough up blood.
On instinct, no onion materialized a bag of food, and threw it at the monster. the blinding explosion caused it to stumble back, off of no onion. He quickly made a cherry limade, and chugged it as best he could. it fixed him up somewhat.
No onion stood up, but by now, the monster had recovered. with a swing of its massive fist, no onion was knocked back against the wall.
"Ahh," it said, "soon, i will absorb your energy, just as i did your little girlfriends."
that just served to piss no onion off. he charged up, and kicked the monster in the gut. the monster bent over in pain.
No onion picked him up, ready to powerbomb him. however, before he did, he quickly chanted the words to a firebolt. the fire left his hands, and engulfed the monster in flames.
"HEAVAN TO HELL DROP!!!" yelled no onion, as he jumped into the air and powerbombed the monseter straight to hell. in fact, he powerbombed the thing so hard, that it went thru the floor, and into the basement floor.
No onion stood there, panting, attempting to catch his breath. just then, he heard the beep of dynamite charges about to be detanated. he quickly ran towards the exit...
thanks to coolguy_176, ithurn, dragonballnextg,
i looked up, and saw ithurn. he was fighting bravely against the creature that hurt no onion. no matter what we do, it seems we can't kill it. i think about what was said. where it's weakest. it's no where on the outside. what about....
i take one last look at no onion. i know that if this doesn't work i might very well be killed. i see him taking labored, shallow breaths. despite myself, i kiss him. i figure, it's the first, and may sure as hell be the last.
i stand up, and charge straight towards it. shit, it's growing those metal plates. gotta beat em.
i manage to bury my shoulder into it's gut, and tackle it to the ground. i began punching it in
the jaw, trying to force it to open it's mouth wide. finally, i hear it's jaw snap, and it opened
. i shoved a bomb down it's throat, and try to get away. not fast enough. the last thing i
remember is hearing an explosion, being thrown into the air, and seeing the ground...
As the bomb settled in the monsters stomach, Claude looked at everyone as they were attacking the monster.
He then thought to himself, "Well the only thing that seems to have worked is chopping off one of the monsters hands. I think that might be it." Claude then ran at the monster while aluding many of his ice bolts. Then as claude neared, he hit the monster and chopped his other hand off.
"OK guys it should be able to take some damage now, the hands must have been protecting it in some WAYYYYYYYYYY..."
Then as claude finished what he was saying, a blast of ice hit him square in the chest and he was frozen. Then many more blasts of ice hit him at once.
Now claude looked like a huge icicle, but he was trapped inside of it...frozen alive...
Ithurn gasped in shock as the entire party was decimated by the beast. Onion was poisoned, Chisato was fragged, and the beast turned Claude into a Blondie-cicle.
He thought as he ducked behind a tree. A second later, the sound of ice bolt after ice bolt crashing into the tree filled the air.... Then the bolts stopped. Glancing out from behind the tree, Ithurn had just enough time to fall to his knees before a missle slammed into the side of the frozen tree, shattering it and continuing on through the woods. The shards fell upon Ithurn, cutting his back, neck, and arms. Bursting out of the pile, Ithurn sprinted off towards Claude`s frozen form, the beast firing a hail of missles after him. Slamming his claymore into the side of the icicle,the sword narrowly (Accident ! Accident !!!) missing his ally`s torso. Gritting his teeth and gripping the handle of the blade, Ithurn pulled until the Claude-pop began to crack. Hearing a guffaw from the beast, Ithurn glanced up in time to be caught directly in the stomach by a missle. Since his hands were still on the blade, the icicle was pried open and Claude was freed.. Of course now, Ithurn was rocketing backwards through the forest, the missle threatening to detonate any second.. By some strange, and painful, twist of luck, a branch thwacked Ithurn upside the back of the head. At such a speed, it jolted his frame enough to allow the missle to slide on past and off into the forest, detonating a safe distance away, as Ithurn fell back to the ground. On his knees, staring at the ground, he felt the warm trickle of blood as the wound on his head was once more smacked open.
Clutching the back of his head, his vision faltering, Ithurn tried to stagger back to the field of battle. He hadn`t gotten far before the beast`s next volley had caught up with him...
Flinging his body to the side and in the cover of the nearby dense brush, Ithurn continued to clumbsily yet stealthily advance toward the beast once more..
Claude was frozen until Ithurn had managed to crack the frozen patch of ice that resembled an icicle. Claude quickly burst out of the icicle and turned toward Ithurn with a look of thanks...
After he gave his thanks, he turned toward the fierce creature once more. His sword was held high in the air once more and he emerged on the beast. He was quicker than usual, mostly because the rage that swelled up inside from the blasts of ice that he had just taken. Claude jumped into the air and then did his cross slash attack, sending the beast backwards.
The beast wasn't about to be taken out lightly though. He shot out many different forms of attacks, some poison, ice, fire, and lightning balls. The balls spread out in each direction.
Claude was on the border of the Lightning and fire attacks. He looked at them as they came his way. Claude ducked down to narrowly avoid a fireball that flew over his head, but then was not quick enough to react to the bolt of lightning that flew towards him. Claude was knocked backwards and he could not move for a few seconds. After those seconds were over, Claude saw that the attacks had stopped and that the beast was slowly moving towards him. He used all his might to get back up and he started to run away from him.
The beast stopped and looked at everyone who was attacking him and then tryed to find a weakness...he saw one for nearly everyone and then he tryed to use it against them...
(Right now he is using his weaknesses against us in clones or using your own fears against u...do with it what u will, but no one else can see the clones or fears...u must conquer them on your own. Everyone is also in a blank world right now. Once you defeat the fear or clone, then u can return to the world to fight the evil...)
Claude turned around and saw that the beast had stopped. Then he thought, "Hmm...wonder what he's up to..."
After a few seconds, the Ten Wise Men came out of the sky...Claude was now surrounded by his worst enemies, and he had no one to help him. He knew that these were not the real wise men, because this creature that he was fighting would go down before Claude would even get a shot at them...
Claude stared and raised his sword once more, he hoped that he had enough to do what it took to win this battle. He knew that he would be fighting it alone...
jin had prepaed to strike once more then every thing blanked out
Jin: What the hell is this. What's hapeanning to me.
The once blank world then turned into a giant battle arena in the shape of a maze. There was a announcer talking.
Announcer: good morninng everyone this is a fight to see. Jin is going to fight everyone he has deafted once before. not only this they will all fight at the same time. Jin? you might want to start running away.
Jin turned around and began to run threough the maze there were hundreds of people that he had kiled for one reason or another chasing him. JIn had wanted to turn back but it's to much people and they would have surly killed them. It seemed that jin had been running for hours when someone stop in front of him it was dais.
Dias: you weak fighter. We were like brothers and now you run! we are the strongest we will fight back right little bro?
Jin: I have never beat you in a battle. I surly never killed you.
Then crono showed up.
crono: but you killed me for no reason.
Jin: you took my soul and fusioned with me so we could be a better fighter. when I had finally escaped I was blood thirsty so I killed you who else now I'll kill you again.
Jin slashed crono and crono fell to the ground. Dias looked at Jin happily. the both of them went to take out the army of people and all of the suddent Jin was back into the normal world.
Ithurn staggered behind the cover of another tree, gasping for air. Another salvo of magical projectiles rocketing past the tree let him know the beast hadn`t lost sight of him.. The trail of blood he had left certainly didn`t help him hide from the beast. Suddenly, Ithurn`s vision was plunged into darkness ! He felt weightless..Then, just as suddenly as his vision had left him, his sight returned, only now he lay at the bottom of a deep pit. Laying on his back, he could see out of the hole into the bleak sky lying above. Ithurn tried to get up, but quickly discovered he could not move !!! Every last muscle in his body was rendered immobile. His father stood at the edge of the pit, peering down on his son.
"What a pitiful waste..."
Ithurn wondered as he still struggled to move.
"...Hmph. Some hero your son turned out to be." Another voice said.
"Yes.. It`s only a matter of time before the Wisemen come here. I`m thankful his mother isn`t alive to see this.. If the Wisemen wouldn`t have killed her, the disgrace of her son`s failure certainly would have. "
A low rumble could be heard in the sky. Not like the rumble of thunder, though.. The ground began to shake.
His father stared into the sky for a moment, before returning his hateful gaze upon the body of his son.
"I hope you burn in hell, Ithurn.. Because of you...we`re all going to die. "
The earth began to rumble, and the dirt piled by the grave began to topple in on Ithurn`s body. The skies were parted by an eerie, hellish glow.. The glow poured upon the land and spread, destroying anything and everything in its wake. Spitting on his son`s corspe, Ithurn`s father turned and faced the oncoming surge of energy. Ithurn watched in horror as the very flesh of his father was stripped off of his bones in an instant. A second blast of energy shot fourth and blasted the skeleton into pieces strewn across the graveyard.
Ithurn repeated over and over in his head as his world began to tear apart.
His thoughts turned to the others, who, as far as he knew, were still fighting the creature..Or, at least, he hoped they were still alive to fight.
All he needed was one jolt of reality..He just couldn`t shake this dream by himself..
Claude grabbed his sword and tried to slice at one of the wisemen...he couldn't even reach one of them...they seemed closer than what they really were.
The wisemen came closer and they shot their magic at him. Claude avoided most of the magic and made it crash into two of the wisemen, leaving them to look like a pile of ashes.
The other eight wisemen then threw all their magic at claude and he avoided their magic once more...he had a thought now and it just might work...
He kept circling around until all of the wisemen were hit with their own magic and there was only one wisemen left...
Now what, he thought to himself...well, I guess I will just have to fight him myself...bring it on...he raised his sword and went in towards the final clone of the wisemen. Then everything dissapeared as easily as it came upon them...
He looked to Ithurn and then he saw that he was still in the dream world...well, I guess I have to do this...he brought up his fist and smacked him in the face. Once Ithurn awoke, Claude said, "Sorry man, I don't bitch slap." Then he looked up at the monster once more.
"Alright, let's hurt this thing..."
chisato shook her head. suddenly, somthing dark blocked her view.
"chisato, get up."
the figure extended a hand. chisato grabbed it, and found that it was no onion. as he helped her up, he pushed her right back down.
"n..no onion?"
"ha," he laughed, "you think you can find love? especially from me? i can have more girls then you've ever seen. why would i need you?"
"n..no! your not real!"
"oh? watch this."
and no onion snapped his fingers. fifty women that were certainly better looking and bustier than chisato ruched to no onion.
"when i can have this, you think i would want you?"
chisato had finally had enough. taking a page from no onion's book, she kicked him in the gut. as he bent over, she grabbed his head and proceeded to perform a powerful ddt.
everything got hazy. she found herself back in the real world, and saw claude and ithurn fighting
against the monster...
Ithurn groggily got to his feet, rubbing the side of his face. "...Much appreciated." he muttered, with a red imprint of Claude`s fist now on his face.
Quickly re-equipping his claymore and facing the beast, Ithurn took a deep breath.
"Gawd this is gonna suck..."
The beast did an about face,and looked directly at them, a slight look of surprise on its face. Not giving the beast a second to react, Ithurn shot forward until he came to the beast`s feet. His vision once more began to blur, and the only thing he could see was the familiar blue and purple void. The monster`s massive frame faded into view, and Ithurn knelt down
A strange purplish aura could be seen surrounding Ithurn, slowly fading into reality like a cloud of mist. The beast raised its arms high above its head, bringing its two massive fists together to hammer punch Ithurn into the ground. This was what Ithurn was waiting for..
With a savage cry Ithurn lept straight into the air, bringing his sword up as he flew high into the air, cutting a huge slash across the beast`s chest. The force of the slash was so great that even this mighty beast was driven back a bit.
Eventually, gravity took over and Ithurn began to plummet towards earth, the purple aura growing thicker around him. As he fell back infront of the beast, Ithurn brought the blade back down as hard as he could, slashing another gash down its chest. Landing back on the ground, Ithurn took far too long to recover, and was quickly punted across the battlefield by a very angry monster. Rolling to a stop, Ithurn got back to his feet, apparently unscathed, and rushed back into the fight..
The beast was hurt pretty bad by Ithurn's blasts to the chest...it was looking pretty bad now...only a few more shots and it would be history, unless it could do something up to stop them...
Claude looked at the beast and went in towards it...he threw his sword into it and it fell backwards. It fell slowly and then landed with a big thud. After a few seconds, the beast had not moved and it started to materialize...
The beast was gone and then claude moved to the others, "Anyone hurt? Let's decide what to do now?"
NO ONION FIGHTS JIN
no onion stood there, with his spatula drawn, standing in a fencing stance. jin drew his sword.
"are you sure you wanna do this?" asked jin
"you should ask yourself that."
no onion did a swinging advance. jin easily blocked it. no onion spun around, and came at the side of jin's head. jin got hit, and fell. he rolled to the side, hopped back up, and came out swinging. no onion blocked almost every blow, but finally, jin knocked the spatula out of his hand.
jin threw down his sword. "i will not fight an unarmed man armed"
no onion charged, and speared jin. jin fell. instead of following thru with punches, no onion rolled thru, and got to his feet. jin did a pop up, and walked over to no onion. no onion got into a amature wrestilng stance. jin began to throw lighting fast punches. no onion couldn't even block them. finally, he managed to grab jin's fist, and pull him down for a reverse armbar.
jin flipped around, and popped up, throwing no onion back. no onion landed on his feet. jin began to throw a combo of kicks and punches, knocking no onion to the ground. jin then picked up his sword.
"i thought you didn't use arms against an unarmed man?"
"i lied."
faster than the eyes could follow, jin's sword was against no onion's neck.
"i see you try to use as much yang as you can. that's good, but it's not everything. grapple moves are your specialty. the thing is, you need to try to mix things. you need to use more yin. i know you use both in real fights, but if you dont practice both, you will become weak. here."
jin pulled a dagger out of it's sheath on his side, and threw it into no onion's shoe.
"here, this weapon is more suitable."
jin turned his back, and continued training. no onion pulled the dagger out of his shoe, and stared confused...
NO ONION WINS AGAINST A STREET GAMBLER
isato stared up at all the lights. this place looked somewhat like fun city, but with a lot more hookers. she looked over at no onion, who had already found himself a street gambler. she walked up to him.
"no onion, these thigs are scams!"
"hush," he said, focusing on the cups that were being switched around. "i know that. there's a trick to winning."
"you can;t win, that's why it's a scam."
"alright," said the gambler, "where is the marble?"
no onion chuckled. "in your left coat pocket."
the gambler got a startled look on his face that turned to anger. he tossed a two hundred fol bill to the ground. "here. go away!"
no onion laughed, picked up the bill, and walked back to the group...
NO ONION PLAYS GENERAL PATTON
wait," said no onion, not quite understanding what the agent person was telling him, "did you say i'm going back to HOUSTON?"
"umm, thats right, sir," siad the little man with a clipboard, "you and Ms. Chisato are being sent to houston as the head of a group of five soldiers. Your to fight and kill Basaruka."
but all no onion heard was "your going to houston." back home. back where he belonged. he burst into song.
"where every body knows your naaaammme, and they're always glad you caaaame."
the man with the clipboard joined in,
"we wanna go, where the people go, and friends are all the same, we wanna go, where every body, knows your naaame."
chisato merely looked at the two oddly.
"oh, that's right, honey. you've never seen cheers. it's this show, and..never mind. hey, clipboard guy. where's our troops?"
a group of five agents walked up. on immediatly expressed his displeasure.
"wait, who's our commander?"
"i am," said no onion immediatly.
"what are you? a sonic cookie?"
"that's exactly what i am. got a problem?"
"yeah. YOUR A FAST FOOD COOKIE!"
"hey, chill," whispered another soldier, "i hear that company twelve got a primative."
no onion smiled to himself. he had always wanted to play the part of general patton.
"ATTTEEEEENNN HUT!"
the company came to attention.
"LISTEN YOU MAGGOTS!! YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME! IF YOU DO NOT, I WILL PUT MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS. YOU WILL FIGHT AS A UNIT. YOU WILL LIVE AS A UNIT. YOU WILL EVEN TAKE A PISS AS A UNIT!!! DISRESPECT ME, FOOT UP YOUR ASS. DISRESPECT OPERATIVE CHISATO, FOOT UP YOUR ASS. COMPLAIN ABOUT A FOOT UP YOUR ASS, OOOOHHH, YOU BETTER BELIVE THATS A FOOT UP YOUR ASS."
they looked at no onion with eyes wide. but, at the least, they were ready to listen...
NO ONION AND CHISATO'S FIRST TIME
Chisato and No onion were in their quarters. Chisato was already ready for bed. No onion, however, was pouring over the information that they had on the monster. All they truly had was a small knowledge of a few of its attacks. One would steal a person's energy little by little. Another would send chunks of meteorites raining down on things. And yet another would send wave after wave of energy.
"No onion, would please stop pacing around the room? It's getting late, and you need some sleep."
"Yeah, I suppose your right. And how many times have I told you, your allowed to call me Brian."
No onion stripped down to his boxers, pulled out a blanket, and attempted to hit the floor.
"No..Brian, what are you doing?"
"I can't sleep in the same bed as you."
Chisato laughed. "All those women you've been with, and you won't even sleep in the same bed as me? I thought you loved me…"
"Umm, well, honey, about those women…. You see, I was very rarely WITH them…"
Chisato got an odd look on her face. "Wait. All the women that just ran to you when you snapped your fingers, and your telling me you never had sex with them?"
"Well, a few times."
"Like, how many?"
"Only three or four. The thing is, it never MENT anything. I snapped, they came, we danced, and they left. With you, well, I'm beginning to feel for you in ways I've never really felt. I don't want to throw it all away for a little bit of fun."
"Brian. Tonight might be our last night together. You almost died in the last battle. If you were to die, I.. I don't know what I'd do."
"Chisy, don't talk like that."
"Look, Brian. Any time we're together means something to me. Does it mean anything to you?"
"I told you, yes."
"Then get into bed and kiss me"…
THE MORNING AFTER
no onion's eyes fluttered open. the bed sheets were in dissarray, as tho he had had a wild night. but the fact that he had no hangover disproved that. as did the fact that no one was laying next to him. finally, a thougth popped into his sleep deadened mind.
"chisy..?" he mumbled. the smell of eggs wafted to his nose. he then heard the sound of sizziling to accompany it. someone was cooking eggs. no onion sat up, and ran his hand thru his blue hair.
"chisy? are you cooking eggs?"
there was no answer, as none was needed. he saw chisato in the small rooms kitchen, wearing his shirt and standing over the stove.
"brian, your up. i'm cooking breakfast. we need to be at the hanger in about an hour."
"two questions. one, why are you wearing my shirt? and two, why are you cooking only eggs? no bacon, no sausage, just eggs?"
"Ummm, yeah. just eggs. errrrr, bacon and sausage are...umm, bad for you, yeah, that's it. just eat the eggs."
no onion was too tired to say much else except, "can i have my shirt back?"
"no need. in the closet are two federation uniforms. they requested that we wear them"
"requseted, but not demanded? well, i need some new clothes anyways."
no onion got out of bed, took a shower, and put on the outfit. he was now dressed in a very similar manner to claude, except that he had kept his hat. he sat at the table, and awaited breakfast...
PROBLEMS IN HOUSTON
Chistao's eyes grew wide.
"SHIT! PEOPLE, READY YOUR WEAPONS. WHEN YOU SEE THE MONSTER, FIRE AT WILL!!!!!!"
The ground rumbled as the monster walked to where they were. As it came from around a building, they saw it for the first time. It was a huge dragon, fifty feet long, and thirty feet high at it's highest ridge. Truth be told, it resembled a stegosaurus more then anything. Fred, Chelsea and Stephen let loose with phase blast after phase blast. This only drew the monsters attention. It opened it's mouth, and shot a multi-colored beam from it. Chelsea jumped out of the way, but Fred was caught right in the middle of it. His skin shriveled, his eyes hollowed out. It was as tho his life force was being drained out of him. Soon, Fred resembled nothing more than a zombie.
A fire appeared in the monsters eyes. A red energy surrounded it, and for some reason, it lost about ten feet from both height and length.
"FFFFFOOOOODDDDDD…."
Chisato swung the cannon around, and let loose with a powerful blast. The monster opened it's mouth, caught the ball of anti-matter, and literally, ate it.
"PPPOOOOOWWWEERRRR…EEENNNEEERRRGGGYYYYY…YYYEEESSSSS"
Chelsea screamed. The now zombified Fred was attacking her. Working on instinct, Stephen aimed his phase rifle, and blasted him. His head flew off, prompting Chelsea to scream more.
"STEPHEN, CHELSEA, GET IN THE JEEP!! DRIVE, DRIVE, DRIVE. I DON'T CARE WHERE, JUST GET US THE HELL OUTTA HERE!"
As they piled into the jeep, Chisato began to yell into the walkie-talkie.
"Brian! One dead. The anti-matter cannon just made the damn thing stronger. Help!!"
"kkkkhkhkhkhkhkh…Umm, Chisy. Hi. We, err..kkkkkkkkkkhkhkhkhkhkhkhkhkhk…. got our own problems here. Ummm" in the background, fighting noises could be heard, "I'll get back to ya!"
"BRIAN, NOW WOULD BE A REAL GOOD TIME TA TELL ME ABOUT THAT PLAN OF YOURS!!!"
"khkhkhkhkhkh…Yeah, umm…HEEEYYYYAAA….I'm kinda working on it. I'll get back…" and with that, the link went dead…
No onion streched out yet another wire. They were humping it. He knew that he had probably asked for too much. His plan was the loosest, most idiotic thing he had ever created. But, with any luck, it would work.
Fifteen minutes of work. They weren't even half done. And that stupid moaning wasn't helping any.
"WAIT. Do any of you guys hear a moaning sound?"
Kalin, Fred, and Jawad looked at No Onion. Then they began to look past him.
"Behind you." Said Kalin.
No Onion turned around. There was a shrivled, wrinkled looking person.
"What the fuck? Jawad, is that thing alive?"
Jawad slung out a small piece of machinary, pushed a few buttons on it, and read the information.
"Well, it WAS. It's like its life force was drained from it."
No onion just wanted the spooky thing to go away. He materialized a brown bag, and was about to throw it.
"WAIT!!" yelled Kalin, "If you throw that thing, its not gonna do much good."
"This bag will."
"Yeah, I read your bio. Your food explodes. Look, you throw an explosive at it, and it doesn't kill it, then it'll come after us. We don't know what that thing can do."
"Good point. But, I think that ONE thing is the least of our worrys."
"Why's that?" asked Kalin.
"Cause there's a whole slew of 'em behind you."
Kalin, Fred, and Jawad turned around, to see a group of about twenty zombie people. No onion chunked the bag into the group. And, turns out, Kalin was right. The group turned, and shuffled towards them.
"SHIT! KALIN, FRED, KEEP WIRING THIS PLACE!!! JAWAD, WITH ME!!!"
No onion pulled out his spatula, and charged the group, going with a vicious upswing that sent a zombie flying. Jawad charged, using his field knife to slice at the zombies. Right then, No onion's radio started.
"Brian, we got one dead. The antimatter cannon made the thing stronger. HELP!"
Using one hand to slug a zombie, he used the other to grab the radio from his jacket pocket.
"Umm, Chisy. Hi, we kinda got our own problems right now. I'll get back to you."
No onion slung his body downward, and stuck his leg high into the air, delivering a vicious super kick into a zombie's chin. The zombie went flying, and knocked back a group of about four other ones.
"BRIAN, NOW WOULD BE A REAL GOOD TIME TA TELL ME THAT PLAN OF YOURS!!"
"Umm, I'm working on it. I'll get back.." a zombie charged him, and out of shock, he dropped the radio.
"SHIT!!"
He streached his arm out, and clotheslined the thing in the neck. It's neck snapped, and its head rolled to the side.
Right then, Jawad screamed in pain. No onion's head shot to look. A zombie's head was right in front of Jawad's neck, chewing. Soon, Jawad dropped, his neck chewed off.
"SHIT!"
The group of zombies turned towards No onion. No onion ran towards them, jumped, sprung off a zombies head, and landed next to Kalin.
"Look. I'm gonna get these things ta follow me. Wire this thing. Then, use my radio to tell Chisy ta get the damn monster here. Then blow the thing up!!!"
"What about you?"
"I don't matter. Just follow my orders."
No onion threw three bags of food at the group. They began to shuffle amazingly fast towards him. No onion began to run, with the group following…
No onion ran. By now, he was running quite fast, since the zombies were apparently a LOT faster then they had first appeared. He hoped that MAYBE, he could find something in one of the gift shops that would help him. He turned down a hallway.
"AHH!!!!" he exlaimed, as he ran into a group of about fifteen more of the creatures.
"DAMN! For being evacuated, this place sure does have a lot of people!"
He turned down an adjacent hallway, with the previous twenty, and the new fifteen following him. After about five more minutes of running, he ran into a new group of THIRTY zombie people.
"This is just GREAT!!!"
He looked around for a way of escape. There was none. And the zombies were closing in. Suddenly, a thought came to him. The wall behind him was made of glass. He looked out of it, and realized that he was only about fifteen feet off the ground. Sure, it was a concrete ground, but he would prolly survive the fall. He only hoped that his cherry-limade creation would be able to mend broken bones, if needed. He looked around for something to break the window with, and found a hot-dog cart. He grabbed it, and shoved it against the glass. Nothing happened.
"STUPID MOTHER FUCKING PIECE OF….!"
The zombies were a mere ten yards away, and closing in fast. He didn't have TIME for a stupid double paned glass. With a yell of frusteration, he picked up the cart, and chunked it at the window as hard as he could. It shattered thru the glass.
Without a second thought, No Onion dove thru, and barely managed to tuck and roll. He came to a kneeling position, drawing his grease gun.
"COME ON, YOU SON OF A TELETUBBIE!!! COME GET SOMETHING TA DRINK!!!!!"
And he began to fire as the zombies poured thru the broken glass…
OUT OF MP AGAIN
the zombies began to pour thru the window as no onion violently pumped his grease gun.he managed to melt about twenty of them. the thirty left began to walk towards him.
*blub...blub...bluuuubbb...*
his grease gun began to sputter, and finally, run out of grease.
"SHIT!!!"
he tried to materialize a brown bag, but all that apperared in his hand was a puff of smoke.
"SHIT, OUT OF MP!!!"
no onion turned, and began to hoof it once again, on his way to the local sonic
CHISATO'S ENERGY GETS ABSORBED
Chisato ran as fast as she could, occasionally throwing a flare bomb behind her.
"You know this is futile, small one."
"Well..*gasp, pant* it's kept me..*pant* alive THIS long..."
but it wouldn't work for much longer, and she knew it. she was getting tired, and her legs were getting weak. and she was still at least two miles from the airport. suddenly, she tripped over a rock, and tumbled to the ground.
she turned on her back, looking up at the huge lizard man that walked up to her.
"Now, pertty lady, i will absorb your energy, and you will become a part of me."
Chisato screamed as the multi-colored energy began to surround her...
No onion was running towards the airport. he had to make sure the place was wired to blow. he hoped that Chisato had everything worked out.
he was about two miles from the airport, and he heard a scream.
"CHISY?!?!"
he looked around, and saw a huge lizardman standing over Chisato, chisato herself haveing an odd multi-colored energy around her.
Without a second thought, No onion charged the lizard man, and tackled him to the ground.
"YOU!" exclaimed the lizard man.
No onion said nothing, however, as he punched the lizard three times in the face. he then hopped up, and grabbed chisato from the ground.
"CHISY! ARE YOU OK?"
"uhhhnnn"
Chisato was unconcious, so no onion slumped her over his shoulder, and began to run again...
NO ONION'S FIRST ATTACK SPELL
no onion ran, throwing bags of food behind him. it wasn't working, as the lizard man was still easily keeping up. no onion was panting, wondering if he could do anything else he could do that could possibly slow the huge thing down. suddenly, his mind flashed back to a few books he had read once on expel...
* * *
As he looked thru all the books, he found one. it was kinda buried, but after a little bit of digging, he finally pulled it out.
"heraldry arts made fun and easy, vol. I"
"well, gee," he thought to himself, "this seems like just what i need."...
* * *
no onion turned around, and the lizard man, noticing this, stopped.
"ahh, i see that you have finaly accepted your fate."
"Snoopsegan, multioray, schlo, vanlagas"
"what are you talking about?"
"STAR LIGHT!!!"
sevral stars appeared in front of No Onion. they floated high into the air, and shot down rays of light at the lizard. the lizard was knocked back. and no onion kept running...
NO ONION FIGHTS THE MONSTER
the lizard man ran straight at no onion, not even noticing kalin, fred, and chisato. he grabbed no onion, and continued running.
"OH, SHIT!!!" said no onion, attempting to wriggle free. it was to no avail, tho, as the lizard tackled him thru the glass door.
the lizard looked at no onion, cut up and bloody on the ground.
"Now, i will drain you of your energy."
but, before the lizard could make good on his threat, he fell backwards towards the gound. no onion stood up.
"gotta love leg sweeps." he then started running deeper into the airport...
after five minutes, no onion was pretty deep into the airport. he looked behind him to see if the lizard man was following him. however, the monster was no where to be seen.
"where the HELL is he?" that question was answered, however, as no onion felt a fist go right across his face. he stumbled back, and saw the lizard man appear.
"SHIT, YOU CAN TURN INVISIBLE?"
the monster didnt reply, however, as he charged at no onion. No onion moved to the side, and let the monsters momentum take him thru the wall. No onion hopped back, and pulled out his grease gun.
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!"
"yeah, yeah, i've heard it all before." replaied no onion, shooting a wave of firey liquid at the monster. it scremed, as the liquid fire hit him and burnt him. no onion ran back towards the entrance, thinking that the monster was subdued enough. just as he neared the doors, however, he felt a big scaly hand grab the back of his neck. he flew backwards, and let out a yelp of pain as he hit the ticket counter. the next thing he saw was the huge lizard man falling right towards him...
Before no onion could move, the lizard landed with both feet on his chest. the ticket counter collapsed under him, and he began to cough up blood.
On instinct, no onion materialized a bag of food, and threw it at the monster. the blinding explosion caused it to stumble back, off of no onion. He quickly made a cherry limade, and chugged it as best he could. it fixed him up somewhat.
No onion stood up, but by now, the monster had recovered. with a swing of its massive fist, no onion was knocked back against the wall.
"Ahh," it said, "soon, i will absorb your energy, just as i did your little girlfriends."
that just served to piss no onion off. he charged up, and kicked the monster in the gut. the monster bent over in pain.
No onion picked him up, ready to powerbomb him. however, before he did, he quickly chanted the words to a firebolt. the fire left his hands, and engulfed the monster in flames.
"HEAVAN TO HELL DROP!!!" yelled no onion, as he jumped into the air and powerbombed the monseter straight to hell. in fact, he powerbombed the thing so hard, that it went thru the floor, and into the basement floor.
No onion stood there, panting, attempting to catch his breath. just then, he heard the beep of dynamite charges about to be detanated. he quickly ran towards the exit...
thanks to coolguy_176, ithurn, dragonballnextg,