"MXC: The Total Drama Edition"

Rated T for mild language

Disclaimer: I do not own either Total Drama or MXC a.k.a. Most Extreme Elimination Challenge. Total Drama and its characters are owned by FreshTV, Jennifer Pertsch and Tom McGillis and MXC is owned by Spike. If you don't know what MXC is, I'll give you a short run-down. 'MXC' is short for Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, which lasted a good run on Spike TV from 2003 to 2007. Most of the footage was taken from a Japanese game show called "Takeshi's Castle" which ran from 1986 to 1990. I suggest checking out some episodes on YouTube. It's that awesome.

Chapter 1: Introduction

As the opening theme song played to a montage of various contestants smashing their faces, falling from logs, landing in sludge and running for their lives, the announcer's voice spoke from off-screen.

"What are these people running from? They're not! They're running to the most toughest competition in town, Most Extreme Elimination Challenge! Today, it's a special Total Drama edition of MXC, as your favorite all-stars from Total Drama Island to Total Drama Pahkitew Island compete in a battle of the sexes! Who will conquer the competition? Will it be the boisterous boys or the gruesome girls? We'll find out as you get fired up for M...X...C! And now, here are your real drama queens, or should I say kings, Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano!"

After the MXC logo had popped up, the scene switched to Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano sitting alongside their interns. But the scenery was different.

Instead of a Japanese throne room, the scenery takes place in Pahkitew Island. The duo are kneeling on the carpet leading to a waterfall, and they are surrounded by interns (who were dressed like Chris McLean) in two rows of about eight, with Chris McLean himself in the farthest back in the formation in his own row, the only one standing in the group.

"Hello and welcome to MXC!" Vic exclaimed. "And let me tell ya, it is great to be back on the show! Everybody's now recharged, our lips match with our mouths, and we get to see twice the carnage than we can already expect!"

"Woo hoo!" Kenny shouted. "That means that I finally get to quit my replacement job on CSI as the guy who always gets killed, thanks to Chris McLean!"

"No problem, dude." Chris said, nodding in the back.

"Indeed, as Chris McLean, the host of the Total Drama series, has funded all the costs for bringing this show back on the air," Vic replied. "And as of now, MXC is now officially on the Cartoon Network!"

"Yeah," Kenny nodded. "It's just like on Spike TV, with a lot more painful eliminations, Guy LeDou-"

But then, Vic smacked him in the head with his trademark paper fan.

"Oh, wrong you are Ken," Vic sighed. "Since we are now on a family network, the executives down at Cartoon Network have forced a few changes. One of them was replacing our field reporter with Total Drama's gruffy muscleman, Chef Hatchet. Unfortunately, the executives have dubbed Guy as too creepy and too un-family friendly for CN's standards."

"So we can't even say Guy's last name?" Kenny whined.

The camera then got a good shot at the camera crew, who were busy wearing their CN T-shirts. The director, who was filming Kenny and Vic, nodded his head. Suddenly, Kenny shot a cold angry glare, not saying one word for the remainder of the segment.

"Unfortunately, we'll have to make due with what we got," Vic nodded. "Now here's Chef Hatchet right now."

The scene switched over to a field close to the obstacle course where Chef Hatchet greeted viewers, wearing nothing but a safari hat and coat. He's got a microphone and he is really pumped up.

"Hi, this is Chef Hatchet here," Chef muttered, "I don't know why the heck I'm doing this. I dress like a gay adventurer, for pete's sake. My shorts are so tight, I can hardly breathe a little. But if it's worth twice the money that Chris pays me for, I'm gonna do it. Anyway, I'm supposed to rant about my life, but I ain't doin' it. Let's go to the games already."

The scene then switched to a montage of games which was shown for today's lineup.

"First off, we start with Wall Bangers," Chef sighed. "Then we step over stones with Sinkers and Floaters, followed up by the equally excruciating Wall Buggers, and we finish it with the less-painful, log-rolling Log Drop. And now here's the Captain. Can I get my pay-check now? You know how I am when I don't get my f***in' cash this instant!"

The scene then switched over to a hill with trees, where Captain Tenneal stood strong with a sword in hand. He looked over to the rest of the contestants who were all seated with red helmets on.

"Thanks, Hatchet!" Captain Tenneal exclaimed. "Okay, who here thinks the Total Drama series are a throwback to reality show stereotypes? With the idea of using their ego's to inflate through their new-found fame? Show of hands... NOW!

In response, everyone lifted their right hand together.

"Well, you're all wrong," Captain replied. "Shows like that will only cause you to regard to the lowest form of Canada's society, followed by pregnant moms, and stereotypical rednecks like this hefty blonde over here."

And then, the Captain glared at a contestant with curly blonde hair, a pink top, blue pants, and had a chubby body.

"You in the front," Tenneal said. "What is it that you do?"

"Hi, my name's Sugar, and I was once the mascot for Darwin's Food Safari!" Sugar exclaimed, "I even know the whole entire jingle!"

"Oh, you do?" Tenneal raised his eyebrow. "Care to sing the jingle for us!"

"Well, don't mind if I do!" Sugar nodded as she stood up.

Taking in a deep breath, Sugar sung out her jingle in front of the Captain and the contestants.

"Hungry for a tasty snack/Zebra, Tiger, Dolphin, Yak/Come inside, please dont-"

However, by the middle of the song, Sugar accidentally turned her back, and farted next to the Captain! When she blasted her butt trumpet, it made Captain Tenneal choke on her fart gas!

"AGGGGH!" Captain screamed in pain, "Dear god woman, what in the hell did you eat?!"

"Oh, just some 15 rounds of cabbage, hummus and dead skunk butt!" Sugar stated.

However, the fart gas was spreading to the contestants who began choking all of her smelly air.

"Could you... just start... the game already?" Gwen shouted over to the captain.

Looking over far away to Gwen, the Captain decided to start things already.

"Good thinking," Captain nodded as he clinched onto his sword tightly. "Somebody should spray the entire woods with anti-freeze right now! LEEEET'S GOOOOOO!"

After he swung his sword in victory, the Captain and the contestants all sprinted down the hills, possibly to run away from Sugar's horrifying fart gas.

Well, talk about an opening. Anyway, make sure you check out full episodes of MXC on YouTube! They're definitely gold!

First event will be Wall Bangers, so stay tuned and give feedback if you can! Until then, who's ready to party down?