TITLE: That Damn Donna Reed - By Raven Dark
SUMMARY: This is my take on the Donna Reed episode. I know it could never really happen but that is why it's called a fanfic right? This was actually the very first fix I wrote! I was very nervous to post it since everybody seemed to hate on Dean (not a huge Dean fan myself but he does lend to some interesting scenarios fic-wise.)
DISCLAIMERS: I don't own the characters. I really wish I did… but I don't.
RATING: M - trust me, it will get there :-)
That Damn Donna Reed
**Part 1**
"Hello?" Dean called out stepping into Lorelai's house.
"Do you come bearing pizza?" Lorelai called out from the living room.
"I'm not an idiot" The boy said defensively.
"Hey" Rory called happily seeing her boyfriend walking in as if he owned the house, she liked the way he was becoming more and more comfortable around them.
"Hey" he answered back leaning in to kiss her.
"Sit," Lorelai said scooting over, "you're missing it."
"What are we watching?"
"The incomparable Donna Reed Show." She answered with a flourish and a smile.
"What's in there?" Rory asked of the white Styrofoam box her boyfriend carried.
"A salad"
"Salad?" Rory asked, the word not really registering with her current vocabulary.
"Yeah," Dean answered, "it's a quaint dish sometimes used to precede large quantities of pizza." Both Lorelai and Rory give him strange looks.
"It's for me." He clarified.
"Clearly" Said Rory relieved it wasn't for her though still suspicious of its presence in her house.
"So, who's Donna Reed." Dean asked innocently enough.
"What?" She asked turning his way.
"You don't know who Donna Reed is?" Lorelai asked in mock shock, "The quintessential 50s mom with the perfect 50s family?"
"Never without a smile and high heels? Hair, that if you hit it with a hammer, would crack?" Rory added.
"So it's a show?" Dean assumed.
"It's a lifestyle." Rory corrected.
"It's a religion." Lorelai clarified.
"My favorite episode –" Rory began.
"Mm, mm...Tell me, tell me." Lorelai followed. Dean liked them when they were like this; they were fun to hang around with. He swore he could listen to them banter back and forth for hours, okay… maybe minutes.
"- is when their son, Jeff, comes home from school…and nothing happens." Rory continued.
"Oh that's a good one." Lorelai pointed out, "One of my favorites is when Mary, the daughter, gets a part-time job… and nothing happens!"
"Another classic!" Rory affirmed.
"So what's this one about?" Dead fueled their fire.
"This one is actually quite filled with intrigue." Lorelai began, "The husband, Alex, comes home late for dinner and he didn't call."
"Might as well kick the dog too." Rory quipped.
"Mother-daughter window washing. We should try that." Rory said watching the screen.
"Yeah, right after mother-daughter shock treatments. You know, Daughter," she began talking for Donna Reed onscreen, "there's nothing more satisfying than washing windows - oh no!"
"What? Did I miss a spot?" Rory played along.
"No," continue Lorelai, "I just had an impure thought about your father, Alex. Funny - I don't know why I had it. It isn't the second Saturday of the month."
"Hey, I heard you had an impure thought about me." Rory went on with her manliest voice, then remembering that Dean was in the room with them she blushed a little and let a couple of impure thoughts about him enter that imaginative head of hers.
"I must now sublimate all my impure thoughts by going into the kitchen and making an endless string of perfect casseroles." Lorelai pressed.
"You're not even listening to the dialogue." Dean complained.
"Ours is better!" Rory flashed him a smile.
"I don't know…" Dean took a gambled, "it all seems kind of nice to me."
"What does?" Rory asked soberly raising an eyebrow.
"Well, you know, families hanging together. I mean, a wife cooking dinner for her husband" Dean stumbled through, from what he could tell he wasn't winning any popularity votes, "And look - she seems really happy." The looks he got told him they were just warming up.
"She's medicated" Lorelai began
"And acting from a script"
"Written by a man"
"Well said, Sister Suffragette" Rory finished with a punch.
"What if she likes making doughnuts and dinner for her family and keeping things nice for them and…"Dean tried but their stares shot him down completely, "OK, I feel very unpopular right now."
"You know, dear, the first ten years we were married, I was upset when you came home late for dinner" said Donna Reed on screen to her husband.
"And you're not anymore?"
"Nope. You are no longer late for dinner. You're just extremely early for breakfast!"
Rory and Lorelai looked at Dean for a reaction.
"Hey! I'm not saying a word…" Dean said giving up; it wasn't worthwhile, though he did not entirely agree.
**End of Part 1**
A/N - Yes, most of this came from the actual episode. That is the point! Read on to see what I do with it, I promise you will like it. All four parts are up for your reading enjoyment!