This was a fanfiction challenge between me and Redwalgrl-RG. Where we challenged each other to write a songfic one shot, most hilariously ridiculous wins. The pairing? RoyArcher of course. Our beloved OTP. Not sure if I won, but you can all be the judges. This is a songfic to Hillary Duff's Coming Clean. Just about the only thing she did right. Without further edo.

Pairing: RoyXArcher

Disclaimer: I don't know Full Metal Alchemist or Hillary Duff (thank goodness for that)

Clean

Let's go back
Back to the beginning
Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned


'Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect
Trying to fit a square into a circle
Was no life
I defy

" I want you to think back Archer" the pompous shrink said from his desk, as Frank Archer laid on the less then comfortably couch in his office. His smug attitude, sleek and obviously expensive suit, and those cold distant eyes.

It made Frank Archer absolutely sick. This man didn't care about him, yet he insisted to know about his personal life. About his feelings, his fears, his insight. Psh. The only reason he wasted his time here was because the military demanded it. Saying Archer had problems he needed to sort out. Problems? So the man had a bit of a god complex, that wasn't much of a problem. And he loved to see people squirm and bleed, cry and moan in distraught pain. Big deal. Oh, and he was a closet homosexual.

Wait. What?

Archer wouldn't use the term himself, but it was really the only way to put it. Many people wondered, in Kimbley's case constantly pestered and asked, if Archer had always been so cold and bitter. Towards everyone. The answer was yes, though he never told that to anyone. And that included women. Any and every relationship he ever had was empty. Distant. Sex was hollow and unfulfilling. At first he tried to tell himself it was just because no woman was good enough. Not good enough for thee Frank Archer.

And then he met Roy Mustang.

Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean


I'm shedding
Shedding every color
Trying to find a pigment of truth
Beneath my skin

Aw, the shower felt so damn good. Archer sighed, smiling to himself, and laid his forehead against the marble wall. Archer. Smiling. A rare site indeed. But fuck, the cool water was like heaven against his snow pale skin. Apparently he liked everything cold. But it was just so relieving, being back in Central and away from that cocky arrogant psychologist. No one should be that arrogant, except maybe him. Why? Well because he had the right to be. Because he was fucking better then everyone!

So why was he using the community showers in Central's locker room? Well it had started raining on his way back to the office. Dare he allow filthy rain water stain his porcelain skin? No. So this was the only alternative. It wasn't so bad; at least no one was around. Loud cracks of thunder roared outside, ever so faint through the thick walls and pouring shower. Yes, he thought, wash all of it away. All of it.

Aw if only it was so simple. He'd wash it all away. If only if he could. This arrogance, this price that cursed him. It would probably be the death of him. This sadism. This lust for power, for war, for death. Death. It was so filthy. He didn't want to be filthy. He wanted to be pure; to be clean. To have these horrible plagues leave him. He felt disgusting. Diseased. If only he could stop it. Stop thinking about that raven haired beauty every night. About being arched up against Roy's thick cock, moaning and screaming. Waking up every night in a sweat mess, his sweats wet. His thighs coated with cum. If only…

"Well hello there Archer. Don't drop the soap now"

He could be clean.

'Cause different
Doesn't feel so different
And going out is better
Then always staying in
Feel the wind

I'm coming clean
Let the rain fall
Let the rain fall
I'm coming...

"Things are great" Archer smiled. Lately, Archer smiling was a lot less unusual. He had been doing it a lot. Hell, how could he not? He was. Well. Happy. Beyond happy. Even know, having to sit in that bastard shrienks office and talk about his life. Why not? He'd humor the man. Say whatever he wanted to hear. Better then just sitting there as usual, saying nothing. It made the meetings go a lot smoother, and he walked out in a hurry. Why? To get home of course. Not his home, their home.

"You're in a good mood" Roy smirked, wrapping his arm around that slender pale waist. Aw, another great night. Another great night with Archer under him. Just like those two months ago. Normally he hated staying late, for work none the less. But it was beyond words how glad he was that he had. Or he wouldn't have felt impulsive enough to take a shower down there. And then he wouldn't have met up with Archer. And then one thing wouldn't have lead to another, with Archer's legs spread out wide. Begging for Roy. But enough about what if's, because all of that had happened. And now, they were here. A sweaty mess entangled in the bed sheets. "You want to take a shower?"

"Mm...Maybe later" Archer sighed, leaning back against Roy's toned chest. "To tired" It was ironic. He hadn't been bothered with his usual terrible thoughts. The only thing that had bothered him lately was Kimbley, who was extremely jealous. Oh well, he'd have to get over it. Archer only hoped he wouldn't blow up his apartment. That means I'd be living with Roy permanently...Hm, not a bad thought. That wasn't to say Archer had improved, socially speaking, as a better person. He was still the same arrogant stuck up bastard, with a boner for war. But that didn't seem to matter anymore. Despite all of that, he didn't feel like a bad person. Not with Roy. It was ironic, that things didn't feel as filthy anymore. He didn't feel disgusting.

"I'm as clean as I'm ever gonna get"

Let's go back
Back to the beginning

Beat that bitch D Alright please rate and review. Let me know what you think, and if you liked it better then Redd's fanfic. Pretty please? But really I hope you all enjoy this! More work to come of course!