WARNING: if the mention of a woman's menstrual cycle and everything that comes with it makes you squirm like nothing else, I would advise you to stop reading here. That and I wonder how you passed health class and are currently surviving in a world of hormonal women.

Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction now, would I?

"This is hell. I feel like my uterus has been sliced open and run over by an eighteen-wheeler several times," Mathilde Williams groaned, collapsing into her seat in third period Algebra. The hunched over form of Alice Kirkland groaned, lifting her head out of her arms at the Canadian's arrival.

"I agree completely. Can you murder me and spare me the misery of the next four days?" The Englishwoman pleaded. The Canadian sitting next to her whimpered.

"I would if I could. Can we shoot each other at the same time?" Alice nodded hastily and both girls formed pistols with their hands, then mimed shooting each other on the count of three. Misery loves company, and there is nothing more misery-inducing than shared menstrual cycles. Upon realizing that their shooting (unsurprisingly) failed to result in their deaths, both girls groaned and flopped down onto their desks, burying their faces in their arms.

"Mattie. Please, please tell me you have some Advil," Alice begged.

The wavy-haired blonde gave a long-suffering sigh. "I wish. Francis gave his to Gilbert after another Roderich-Elizaveta incident and Alfred stole mine after his last football-related injury."

"Bloody fuck," Alice cursed. "American football?" At Mattie's nod, Alice cursed again. "He couldn't even have gotten injured playing proper football?"

Mattie chuckled weakly, then groaned once more. "Aw, hell. Speak of the devil; the hoser just walked in. "

Alice shot her friend a glare. "He's your cousin; can't you deal with him?"

Mattie laughed. "He doesn't have a crush on me though, does he?"

Alice opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by an over-enthusiastic shout of "Allie!" Alice's green eyes rolled skyward as Alfred Jones bounded over to her desk.

"Hiya, Allie! And how are you on this lovely winter mo-"

"In pain, Jones," the green-eyed girl snarled, "So what do you want?"

Alfred's blue eyes seemed to lose a little of their vibrancy at her harsh tone. Alice noticed and sighed, resting her chin in her palm and looking up at the American. "Look, don't take it personally, you big lummox, but I'm having a bit of a bad day," she sighed, pushing one straight blonde pigtail over her shoulder.

Alfred shrugged, brightening once more. "Well, it isn't pain medication, but I do have something that might make you feel a bit better," he said, smiling as he bent to retrieve something from his backpack. Alice looked to Mathilde for help, but the Canadian was punching something related to "9x-7i 3(3x -7u)" into her calculator (which Alice and Alfred technically should have been doing).

Oh bugger, if this is some sort of prank- Her train of thought was interrupted as a half-unwrapped candy bar was unceremoniously plopped on her desk.

Alice looked up at him questioningly, raising a brow. "And you have decided to dump your leftovers on my desk because…?"

Alfred huffed, puffing his cheeks out in a display of annoyance that he somehow managed to make cute. "It isn't my leftovers! That's my emergency chocolate bar!"

Alice gaped at the bar on her desk, then up at the boy who put it there. He's giving me his chocolate? "Who are you and what have you done with the real Alfred F. Jones?" she asked faintly. "The Alfred I know wouldn't give up his chocolate for anything nor anybody."

Alfred laughed, running a hand through his hair in a casual, familiar gesture. "But you're not just anybody, are you, Alice?"

Alice stared up at him, stunned. The American grinned and playfully yanked a pigtail before grabbing his bag and shuffling off to the back of the room. Mathilde passed a note to Alice with a smirk.

"The answer would be i 3u, or in your case, I 3 Alfred."

Alice glared at the smirking Canadian, crumpled the note in a ball, and viciously took a bite of the chocolate. Hesitantly, she turned around in her seat.

Alfred caught her eye and winked.

Alice took a smaller bite of her chocolate and prayed she wasn't blushing.

Just a little something I found on my flash drive. Fem!UK/US usually isn't my cup of tea, but it worked for this, so it was written.

In case they don't come out, the problem they are doing is the famous I [heart] you problem:

http:/ www. /2010/08/ how_to_say_i_love_you_the_equa .php