Calamity of Chess

NOTE: I do not own any Naruto characters but the ones you never heard I do. They are Katakana Kanji and Dendou Jomei.

Ps: I'm not very good with humor, so bare with me.

In the afternoon where the sun is actively running to go to sleep for his day in Konoha but another person was as not energetic as the sun since he had a tough day. Shikamaru is his name and was walking home, mostly dragging his feet, tired as usual but clearly annoyed displayed on his face.

'what a drag today is' thought Shikamaru, annoyed that his day was boring especially in training when Ino began bugging him to get up and do something. 'Jeez, can a guy get some sleep for once, without being hassled, troublesome woman.' He could still remember Ino yelling and pushing, it was driving him insane. He frowned and sighed. 'What am I going to do, she is my girlfriend?' which he sadly frown upon.

He needed something to calm his mine before he loses it and he didn't want that, by then he came to a club that was set up in Konoha recently. 'It's a chess club. Man either Konoha becoming lame or something needs to be done about Tsunade management.'

As he enter, he found his sensei, "Asuma?! What are you doing here?" he shouted, shockingly and dramatically from where he was. This caught the attention of many people's attentions; some were giving a glare while others have their finger on top of their mouth, SHHHH.

"Damn it, Son of a bitch!" was heard and not to mention out loud, around many relaxed people. Asuma just sighed at this behaviour and wonder why he helped this poor fool with a foul temper. "SHHHH!!" was then singing through the air. "SHHHHH? Well, Fuck you, SHHH this" putting up his FU finger to everyone, his was beginning to give out sparks, no literally giving out sparks. Everyone began to back away slowly.

'Jomei, oh shit, I'm in for a lot of shit now' he thought. Jomei Dendou a ninja that is one year older than him has some of the craziest electric base attack and a foul temper that can kill if you are in a 2 metre radius. "Don't worry about it Shikamaru" said Asuma, sensing his fear as he continued, "we're trying to control his temper and chakra release every time he is in a foul mood, so far the result are what you see… it going fine." Shikamaru just sweat-drop at this, and thought 'fine?'

He then realized, "wait, we, what do you mean we?" "Ehh…" Asuma nervously swallowed whatever it was in his throat before he continued "well Kanji is here to help too" answered Asuma, smiling nervously Shikamaru. 'No fucking way, Kanji' thought Shikamaru. Kanji Katakana is also one year older then Shikamaru, but is a prankster just like Naruto. "Why is he here? Why the hell is the shop is still intact?" asked Shikamaru, getting ready to crap in his pants.

There was one thing and one rule, the rule is never mess with Jomei's mood as it can switch into rage very easily. And the face is Jomei's temper is that it is mostly trigger by Kanji's prank scheme. One was last week, where part of one of the Hokage's statue nose fell into pieces after Jomei temper went into sadistic mode, when Kanji just made him tripped into a mud puddle during a rainy day. Tsunade is still trying to repair the nose, 'well until she gets her lazy butt off' thought Shikamaru.

"Ehh Shikamaru you there?" inquired Asuma as he began waving his hand in front of his face. "Shikamaru, SHIKAMARU, SHIKAMARU!!" he began to sketchily scream but was then stopped, when he realized as people began glaring daggers at him. "He-he, sorry" is said quickly, with a nervous grin. At the end, he just gave a substantial, sounding slap to the daze Shikamaru.

"There, there let all the pain out, I feel your pain" Asuma began to smile. After that painful way of getting back to reality before Shikamaru said with one cheek red as Sasuke favourite food, tomatoes, "What did you say before?" Asuma then just had a straight and bland face "help Jomei in CHESS?" "Ehh…S…Sure" he answered tentatively. 'Maybe something good would happen out of it' Shikamaru thought hopefully.

After nearly three hours in the chess club, well the inside doesn't look like it at all. After Jomei's outcry, Shikamaru and Asuma crawl out of their cover to perceive if the building was still itself but the next round has already commenced. Sighing they immediately look over the game. "Checkmate, take that Jomei!" stated Kanji, sticking out his tongue now, knowing Jomei is going to burst into rage again. With Jomei eyes twitching, his electric abilities were beginning to destroy the club for sure, until… "Wait!" Shikamaru yelled quickly. Everyone on the table was now staring at him, for his called. Jomei now closing his ears since Shikamaru directly screech right at his ear. "You bastard don't you ever do that again or else I swear by Kami that I would cut your BAL…" Jomei stopped as he realized what the lazy ninja is doing as he place one of the pieces to block one of Kanji pieces.

Jomei staring at the board and began to shout "all yeah, I'm going to beat your ass, oh yeah, hahahaha" as he laughed insanely. "Checkmate" Jomei just stopped and look at the board. Jomei still, while everyone was beginning see to how Jomei reacted, praying he wouldn't start again. Sparks began to fly everywhere.

"Oh shit" cursed by both Shikamaru and Asuma while Kanji smile creepily. BOOOOOOOM!!

The next 3 days after Jomei's rampage, Shikamaru was finally awake. 'Where am I' Shikamaru pondered as he looks around. As he look around the room, it had became block with curtains covering him most of his view, as he look at the right he saw a window where people were walking merrily around Konoha. Sadly, he saw two people skating, it seem it was Lee and Naruto skating through Konoha. 'Hmm, I wonder what happened?' he sighed before he received a pounding headache. Then he remembered what happened.

Flashback

"Jomei calm the fuck down! You do not want this place to turn into a burial site, do you?" uttered Asuma, his cigarette falling off his mouth, his teeth began to chatter and place his finger nails in it. Shikamaru beginning to run out of luck as the last thing he remember before the explosion was that, he was running around like an idiot for the very first time, which was like a surprise to everyone. Kanji did not care because he was just smiling gleefully of his winning. "You bastard I'll kill you, Shokkingu Bakuha", then boom. As everyone was still barely conscious they saw Jomei still quite pissed off but began to smirk with lazy satisfaction as he actually place the queen into, "Checkmate, beat ya Kanji" before falling head first anime style onto the board.

End flashback

"So you're awake?" said a person out of know, Shikamaru still disorient, thought it was the doctor. Just said, "Doc, how am I feeling, would I be able to move, would my baby have spiky hair like Naruto? Please no, please dammit!" looking around nervously.

Sniggering was his answer, which is much clearer than before. "Kanji?" 'Shit' he thought, with sweats beginning to developed on his forehead "Glad you finally realized lazy ass" Kanji began walking out to the door before he replied "oh and make sure you get something metallic next time, Jomei is asking us for another game" "Sigh, what a day" Shikamaru said and continued "I hope it doesn't get any worst".

Outside Lee had skated into a pole with his face directly in front of it. Trying to lean away slowly, Naruto had lost control of his speed and crashed into Lee, smashing him back into the pole. Lee now knocked out with a bloody nose while Naruto was crying like a girl. Shikamaru just laugh out loud at this sight.

Author's note: Done. XD rate and review how ever you like it. It is my very first time at writing a fanfiction humor story.

And here is a description of some of my characters:

Kanji Katakana is a boy (obviously) who is a prankster and still is after the academy, as well as is one of the few who pass the academy with Neji, Tenten and Lee. One of his best friends is Jomei but is in a different squad. His teammates are Kannon Hebi (male) and Hoshiko Katakana (female). And as you know is kinda related to Hoshiko but not twins. One of his move consist of various writings in Japanese or Chinese (whatever it was in the anime) planted on weapons and can be utilize as whatever was written on it. Like explosion it goes boom, easy. XD. these are usually written on a piece of paper already not like Sai who draws it during battle.

Jomei Dendou is another boy who has a wild temper and also has pass the academy with Spid Aburame (male)- band from Aburame clan so therefore not inherited the insects ability but something else (just to clarify things) and Gen Hakma (female). Descendant of a very powerful electric wielder, (ancestor) he also inherit in his mother side, letting out anger easily. Moves are sometimes consisted of electric based moves but like in the anime.

All characters in my book would also have improved abilities, along the way. As well other characters will be made in other fan-fiction and maybe use in other stories.

Author's note: Remember to rate and review, please and flame are invited for this story and beware of Jomei's temper.