Ohaiyo 2

By Sukunami Taka

A young teenager sighed, large golden eyes bored. He shrugged, trying to rid the ache in his back, cold against the white marble wall. His gray robe fluttered in the slight gusts of wind, it was wrapped tight, to hide the itching bandages beneath. A single strand of dusky hair swept past his small pale face, a face that held an unending tormented suffering. Why must I keep doing this he began to thought for the hundred and one time since he could think, then, hearing squabbling voices, he peered curiously around the corner.

An erotic female deity, the great Kanzeon Bosatsu….

At this, a chibi Kanzeon Bosatsu popped up and winked at the writer, " Erotic…." She purred, " You naughty boy……"

Ahhhh, eto…..the curvaceous deity was in the midst of mocking, with deep pleasure, the ever-erratic (when is he ever NOT erratic) blond haired goddess….oops…god, who is bubbling in furious silence. Deciding that it was against his better nature, Konzen Douji straightened up from his ready-to-kill stare and flipped his shining hair over his shoulder in a as-if-he-did-not-care manner. As he turned to stalk off, she laughed, a high tinkling laugh that sounded oh-so-familiar, "Bye-bye, nephew…..have fun with your pet…." Konzen growled under his breath, using all his will to not throw a very expensive and highly damaging Ming vase at the, as he thinks, obnoxious goddess' head. "Urusai, kono baba," he muttered, leaving the smug deity with raven locks that swishes provocatively at her hips, alone in the hallway, trying to hatch another brilliant plan to annoy her naïve newphew.

"Nataku Taishi. Nataku-sama! Where did he go now…..ore…Nataku-sama!"

The youth snapped back to reality, "Che….they found me….but can they catch me…" he grumbled in quiet restraint. As the shadow of an attendant appeared, Nataku shot off. Meanwhile, Kanzeon Bosatsu was tapping a slender, red manicured finger on her chin, her luscious lips in a pout as she pensively stood, unaware……a force barreled into her, thrusting her onto the icy tiles in a heap of silk, robe and hair. Her normally controlled face was mashed against the floor, while Nataku was entangled within the heap.

In great effort, the two dislodged themselves from one another, Nataku carefully brushing his robe with his hands, while his long silky hair flowed freely, and the goddess retrieved her vermilion slipper. They eyed each other warily, one a rather manipulative though good-natured powerful deity, the other a constantly-tortured over-exploited killer. "Kanzeon Bosatsu," nodded Nataku, indifferent. "Nataku Taishi," she responded apathetically.

"WHY DID YOU GET IN MY WAY!!!" "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!!!"

(the above two lines are meant to have burst out at the same time-T)

"Look what you DID! They're going to catch me now!"

"Ha! Good! Then they can LOCK you up!"

" You got in my way, baka!"

" I got in YOUR way? You're the one who smashed into ME!"

" If you weren't overvain, you would have seen me!"

" I…OVERVAIN?!? Look who's talking, you who-have-more-servants-than-anyone-else-in-Tenkai-to-fuss-over-him loaf!"

" What do you mean by loaf!?! You who-do-nothing-but-order-everyone-around-to-give-you-pleasure worthless bossy goddess! Atleast I do something!"

" Oh yes….the magnificent great Nataku Taishi without whom's wonderful presence here to grace us all will kill us……useful JUST for fighting and killing!"

" Yeah!?! And you are USEFUL for……reaching the cookie jar?!?"

" What does that mean?! You puny punk!"

" It means that you are like a tree trunk with nests for hair!!"

" Well, I NEVER!"

" Yeah, you never…never looked in a mirror?! You over powdered, over perfumed wannabe beauty queen!!"

" And you think you're BETTER?! You pity-wanting doormat-to-your-father killing machine?!?"

" It's better than you breasts-nearly-coming-out-of-their-sockets wench!!!"

" You ACTUALLY know what they are?!!? You inexperienced-like-a-toad-under-stone gaki!"

" Compare to your what?? Age-that-show-as-wrinkles-under-your-drooping-eyes??!"

" I'm surprised that you are even out of your diapers, you marble statue!!"

" Marble statue?! You can't come up with better, you stick-in-the-mud?!?"

" Hah! Who's old now!? Stick in the mud…..you can't-even-show-emotion-even-if-GOD-ordered-you-to twerp, but then, you don't follow orders, do you?!"

" Not yours, that's for certain! You over-zealous green-eyed always-poke-your-nose-into-everything dappler!"

" Like you don't, you eyes-so-large-that-you-can't-see-you'll-trip-over-your-own-robe blasphemer!!"

" Not as much as you, you goody-two-slippers conformist!!"

" CONFORMIST?!? And you are rebel of the century, are you ??! Carrying that so over size that-it-dwarves-your-overwasted-body heaven-made sword?!"

" I can atleast carry it!! Can you, you over-moisturized can-never-do-anything-yourself, obnoxious, self-important deity?!?"

" Why you little……"

"Arre……."

" URUSAI!!" ordered the two nearly-going-to-kill-each-other over-important- gods.

The poor scared attendant sweat dropped, before daring to venture, " Ko….komen…..demo, KAMI-sama wishes to see Nataku Taishi, to set another task….."

The fighting god threw his hands in the air, "HA! Of course……that useless windbag has someone else who he wants to get rid off and guess who has to do it……..!!"

Indignant for no apparent reason, the Goddess of Mercy blazed, " Watch who you call a windbag, you motherless bore……..!!"

" Your brother that's who! But I don't WANT to WATCH him, what with nose hairs and ALL!!!!!"

" You were the one who drew them!! You who-know-nothing-but-how-to-hide-from-your-keepers!!"

" who's the one who SET me a keeper?!? You bakarou!!"

" Long haired boy lover gaki!!!"

" Kono promiscuous grey hair……"

The attendant cringed at the harsh words and prayed (in heaven?) feverishly that GOD does not hear them….but then…….what can HE do?

This is for those who liked Ohaiyo, the first one….

And dedicated to Nataku Taishi (the writer, not fighting god) whose favourite character is Nataku, and this writer hopes that if ever he reads this fic, he won't get offended, as it's all in good fun…..and thank you for giving the idea of pairing Nataku and Kanzeon Bosatsu together (I'm sure they fight like this in married life)……

Well, and here's your chance, readers…..who do you want to see in an all-out-verbal-abuse-fight? Characters from other animes could be considered too…….so watch out for more Ohaiyos….^___^,,,,