A/N: They say all the good ideas just come to you (it happened with JK!) and well this idea just came to me in a flash while I was listening to James Blunt last night. And I have to say alot of this story came from personal expeience so it was fairly easy to write.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, absolutely nothing (apart form the plot!)
PS: Sorry to all HBP fans but for my story to work, I had to make it so that Harry definately did stay on until his seventh year. And how Harry told the prophecy to Ron and Hermione is different too. Just bear with me!
"Goodbye My Lover"
Chapter 1 - How We Used To Be
Did I disappoint you? Or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty? Or let the judges frown?
It was nearing midnight and in the Gryffindor Common room, Harry was sprawled out in his usual chair by the fire reading his favourite Quidditch magazine. The thought of knowing that he had only one year of school quidditch left really made him feel nostalgic so he aimed to make the most of it while he could.
At that moment Harry heard a door shut from above and the patter of light footsteps coming down the stairs. He knew that this could only be one person - Hermione (his girlfriend of 9 months). She ran up to him, gave him a swift kiss on the cheek and sat down on the couch nearest him. He continued to read his magazine.
"Harry guess what I finally managed to book us that table for tomorrow!"
"Huh?"
Harry reluctantly tore himself away from his Quidditch magazine to look at Hermione.
"Tomorrow Harry, don't you remember?"
Harry sighed "What about tomorrow?" he asked.
"Hogsmeade?" said Hermione eagerly. Harry shrugged his shoulders. "Oh come on Harry don't you remember?"
Harry simply shrugged again and looked back at his Quidditch magazine. Hermione felt her happy mood fall rapidly.
"Remember last month you were playing Quidditch on the Hogsmeade day so you promised to take me out to lunch this time," Hermione said as she crossed her fingers, playing for it not to happen again.
"Oh no I can't tomorrow Hermione, I'm playing quidditch."
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
Yup, it happened again. Hermione yet again felt her heart break as yet again Harry was ditching her for Quidditch. This had been a regular thing for a few months now. And yet again her eyes began to sting from holding back tears.
"But - but there's no match tomorrow."
Harry looked up at Hermione and sighed. "No but I organised a friendly team match against the Hufflepuff's."
Hermione knew from the tone of Harry's voice that she was treading very thin ground but she lad to let Harry know how she felt.
"Harry plaese tell me you're kidding...Harry?"
"No I'm not," said Hary, sounding rather impatient now.
"But - but we've had this date planned for weeks," pleaded Hermione. "Couldn't you just cancel this one time...for me?"
That did it. Suddenly Harry slammed his magazine and sat up staring straight at Hermione.
"Hermione I'm Quidditch Captain! (Don't I know it, thought Hermione) I can't just cancel a team match they're too important and I can't let everyone else down!"
Believing his word to be final, Harry laid back in his original position on the couch and picked up his magazine, as if Hermione wasn't even there any more.
"No...you can't let them down," Hermione agreed, muttering under her breath. She stood up and, with no strength left, allowed her tears to fall freely.
"BUT YOU CAN LET ME DOWN!"
And with that, Hermione ran up to her Head Girl dormitory - taking what was left of her pride with her - slammed the door shut and collapsed onto her bed.
So I took what's mine by eternal right
Took your soul out into the night
It may be over but it won't stop there
I am here for you if you'd only care
She turned to her side to look at a framed picture of her and Harry on her bedside table.
Harry and Hermione. Hermione and Harry.
They were the most famous couple in the school, and seemed to be the most suited for each other. Each others best friend amd each others rock. Most of the school saw it as more of a relief than a surprise when Harry finally plucked up the courage to ask Hermione out.
"Its about bloody time!" Ron had said.
But right now this wasn't the Harry she knew, the Harry she fell in love with. Yes by looking back at how things were at the beginning, things had definately changed...
--
Flashback (midway through 6th year)
You touched my heart you touched my soul
You changed my life and all my goals
And love is blind and that I knew when
My heart was blinded by you
I've kissed your lips and held your head
Shared your dreams and shared your bed
I know you well, I know your smell
I've been addicted to you
It had started off as just an ordinary night but it was extremely significant to Harry, as that night in the common room, he had chosen to tell Hermione about the prophecy. He chose to tell her first as, for him, she would be the hardest to tell. The thought of possibly not getting to spend the rest of his live with Hermione and everyone else tore him to pieces.
The pair were sitting alone in the common room and Harry had his hands supportively on Hermione's shoulders. She was taking it alot better than he thought, though a few tears couldn't help but escape her eyes.
"Are you ok?" he asked.
Hermione let out a small laugh. "Shouldn't it be me asking you that?"
Harry smiled. "It's taken a long time to sink in but im fine. Really. I've thought about it and If I'm the only person who could stop Voldemort from destroying innocent lives then so be it. I'd rather die knowing people were free to walk the streets rather than to live the rest of my life in fear."
Hermione smiled back. "Spoken like a true hero." There was a hint of sadness on Harry's face. "But-?"
Harry shrugged "But...the thought of not spending the rest of my life with you and Ron it just -, "
Harry tailed off and his head fell into his hands. Hermione held his hand.
"Harry you shouldn't be thinking about that. You know that me and Ron will be by your side no matter what. You should be thinking about the fun we are going to have, not what we may miss out on."
Harry squeezed Hermione's hand and pulled her into an embrace "Thanks Herms."
The pair then spent the whole night generally chatting with the odd game or two flung in.
"Just like old times," they both thought.
It was nearing 5am when they had finished their third game of "Who Am I" and Harry had correctly guessed that he was Gilderoy Lockhart.
"You cheated!" yelled Hermione through laughter as she wiped the names off their heads with a flick of her wand..
"Did not, I won fair and square - and it only took me 3 questions to get it right."
"Oh yes? So the question "Am I full of myself even though I've lost my memory?" just came randomly into your head?"
"Of course," said Harry cockily. But he couldn't hold it any longer and be burst out laughing. Hermione slapped his arm while desperately trying to remain serious about the matter.
"That's cheating!"
"That hurt!"
For a while they sat unitl their laughter died away. Harry put his arm around Hermione. They both knew that it was in a friendly manner but what they didn't know was that they both wanted it to be more.
"I don't know what I'd do without you Hermione," said Harry.
"Hey hold it right there we said no more depressing stuff tonight!"
"Yeah I know but I'm being serious. Hermione if anything happened to you I don't know what I'd do. I mean... that night in the Department of Mysteries...for a split second I thought I had lost you..and I felt sick."
He reached out and held her hand, stroking it with his thumb exactly like he did in second year when she was petrified.
"Harry, every day I feel sick knowing I might loose you."
Harry sighed. "What are we like eh?"
Hermione sighed too. "I know."
Harry leaned in closer and cupped her face with his free hand. Hermione held back her gasp.
"Harry," she whispered. "What are you doing?"
"Something I should have done a long time ago."
And he placed his lips on hers...
--
And that was how it happened - how their happiness began. The next few months were filled with so many memories and they both couldn't be happier. Just like every other couple in this world, the odd argument would arise but nothing too serious. But then the arguments became more common...
Hermione saw a difrerent side to Harry - and it was a side that she did not like one bit. She knew that Harry had a bit of a temper but she had no idea of its extent.
He began to call her names when he got angry. Initially she thought of it as nothing as he always apologised afterwards, but as time went by, it got worse.
Hermione always considered herself to be quite a thick skinned person. People always commented on this, particularly in her 4th year when Rita Skeeter's articles were roaming about. But somehow it wasn't the same when Harry called her names. But why was this? One late night girl talk with Ginny soon cleared it up...
"It's because you love him," she had said. "It hurts the most when its the people we love who hurt us."
How true she had thought. Words like 'stupid' and 'moody' are nothing but somehow they mean so much more when its Harry who said them. But why would he say such things? Did he not know the damage it did to her? Every night before she went to sleep she would assure herself of the same lie...
"He's just really stresses. He doesn't mean it."
...in the hope that one morning when she woke up, it would turn out to be true.
But it wasn't only the name calling that became a problem...it was Quidditch.
Hermione was always very supportive of Harry's Quidditch as she knew it was one of the few happy things about his life. And even right at the beginning of the relationship she knew that Quidditch was a huge aspect of Harry's life.
She loved when she spent a day watching the match and (usually) celebrating with him at night. When Harry became captain in 6th year - she was so happy for him as she knew it was a dream come true to him. But not long into 7th year he began to take it much more serious.
When they arranged to go out Harry started to cancel at the last minute to play Quidditch - things that they had planned for weeks. It was always happening. And since he made up friendly team matches every week or two - it happened more and more.
He accused her of being possessive but that was not the case. She was just an ordinary girl wanting to spend time with her boyfriend. It now seemed that he preffered the time apart. What had she done wrong?
When he wasn't playing Quidditch, he was trying to take her away from her books to get her to play. At the beginning she would agree on the odd occaision to make him happy and she did sometimes have fun. But she never felt herself, Quidditch simply wasn't her thing. And she thought Harry knew that. But it was all Harry would talk about:
"You know Hermione actually has really good balance on a broom. I'd say in a year or two she could be pretty damn good!"
She felt as if half of the school knew about her new "rising talents" in Quidditch - but it wasn't her. She generally didn't like other people knowing her buisness but if Harry had to tell people things - why couln't it be things that are a part of her? Not things that he wanted to be a part of her.
"He's ashamed of who I really am," she thought to herself. "I'm just the suitable base of which he can model the perfect girlfriend from. I want to be loved for who I am...not what I could potentially be..."
This depression had a very bad impact on her. She wasn't happy, and because she wasn't happy she was subject to more arguments with Harry.
"Why don't you just smile and have fun for once," said Harry as he thrusted a broom to her chest. She reluctantly took the broom and mounted it, with tears streaming down her face...which Harry just ignored.
Things were definately not going well. And Hermione cried herself to sleep that night with the horrible thought that perhaps Harry and her may not have the "happily ever after" future that she had always wanted...
Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me...
A/N: I'm know its sad and Im gonna warn you the now that there is more to come incase any of you were expecting a happy story. I welcome your comments! Thank you!
Stephy xx