Secret Loves, Secret Lives

Chapter 1: Secrets

Princess Sango

Tohru knew Kyo would have had to leave her. Akito had warned her as much since she had revealed herself as God. So as she lay in his bed crying over a love lost, she wondered why she didn't withdraw from her love, to make the separation easier. Kyo had warned her too, but the fiery red eyes that were so passionate for her, and the looks he gave her as he kissed her, touched her and made her feel indescribable… It was too much for them to pretend nothing was happening.

She had thrown caution to the wind, and had loved him the last year with no bounds. If they wanted to take a day for themselves, they did it. Kyo and Tohru were pretty inseparable till a week ago. They made sure that nothing got in the way of there dwindling time, the time they had together till he left. Of course, there were times when Kyo would disappear for awhile, and Tohru respected it. She thought he needed to take in some stuff without her by his side.

So as she lay in his bed, clutching his pillow and picturing him in her mind was how she spent her nights. Shigure and Yuki hadn't mentioned much, but they did give her a sympathetic gaze every time they looked upon her. Tohru sometimes couldn't stand it and would always leave the room. Now that she and Yuki didn't have school anymore, she could freely mourn.

On this particular night however, she heard the door open and saw Yuki standing in the doorway. Yuki's purple eyes stared at her intensely as he glided over to the bed and soon lay beside her. Tohru gave him a questioning look, and Yuki answered it, "I guess you're shocked to see me here. I wish to confide in you a secret of mine and Kyo's. I didn't hate Kyo, as it seems on the outside, but we were…secret lovers."

Yuki looked at Tohru's eyes, and noticed how a slight confusion was in there but she didn't speak it. Yuki continued, "When he wasn't with you, he was with me. Kyo wouldn't let me lessen the fighting impact, to keep him around. He told me that if he were to win and found out I lessened; I would be in big trouble with him. That's why I didn't. Kyo though, was preparing me with his departure just as much as you."

Tohru finally found a voice, "Why didn't I ever find out about the two of you?"

"This was a huge secret Tohru, something that Akito could never find out about. I mean, who would believe, or want to believe the rat could actually love the cat and vice versa?" Yuki looked into her hurt blue eyes, and he held her as close as he dared. "I think he wanted to keep his two love lives separate. I'm just tired of hurting alone, and I thought maybe if I confided in you we could share the pain together."

Tohru turned her back to Yuki, her face was slightly red and she knew Yuki could never fully share her pain. "Yuki, I'm glad you confided in me, but right now I'm trying to deal with more that just losing Kyo. I'm trying to deal with the changes in my body also."

"I don't understand Tohru."

Tohru turned back around but quickly closed her eyes again, "You and I have lost Kyo, that is true, but I have gained and lost at the same time. I have gained Kyo's child, something that is precious, but I wish that this joy would've come earlier, so Kyo…so Kyo could've shared the joy too." She opened her eyes to see Yuki's gaze soften and pull her a little closer. Tohru felt some comfort now, but only slightly as tears made their way down her cheeks.

"You cry so much, your cheeks might stain with the streaks," Yuki joked as he wiped the tears away with his hand. "Tohru, you don't have to be alone. I can help you with whatever you need. Mostly because he is my lover and that's his kid, but also that I love you in a way."

Tohru smiled gently, "Thank-you but I think that might be too much of me to ask."

Yuki shook his head and moved his hand so he intertwined it with hers. He squeezed her hand gently and whispered, "It's an honor for me to do this for you Tohru. Don't think it's too much, I'm a Sohma who gets money anywhere on a whim. I can help you, and I will. Please let me."

Tohru closed her eyes and nodded, finally feeling dreamland closing in on her. Yuki was about to get up but Tohru refused to let go of his hand. "Please, don't leave me here alone tonight. Even if I wake up tomorrow and it's not Kyo, it's still someone who understands." Yuki whispered a short reply and Tohru scooted over for him but refused to let go of his hand, as they both drifted off to sleep.

TBC…