Hey guys!!! This is a complete one-shot. Only one chapter. Sorry to burst you're bubbles =]
Also I'm not one of those writers that likes to take forever getting to the point, I like it sharp and fast so be prepared for no beating around the bush crap. Also my windows word document is a little bit old and puts random black lines through my writing, I have tried to get rid of it but it might show up, just ignore it, the scene change for this story is –X-
Hope you like it!!
EPOV
Life is made up of choices.
It is my choice if I want the flat screen T.V. It is my choice if I want steak instead of fish tonight. It is my choice if I decided to drive the long scenic route instead of the quick everyday route. It is my choice if I feel like listening to Presley today, instead of Costello.
It is also my choice if I decide to drink and drive.
"Edward, maybe you should slow down a bit?" Her voice was scared, hands clenched around either side of the passenger seat and her eyes never leaving the road. I didn't mean to make her scared, but I was mad/livid/furious. I was over everything. "Edward, please" She pleaded. I dropped my speed by 5, her tense position never changing.
Bella.
She was gorgeous, stunning, beautiful, impeccably desirable, unimaginably the love of my life.
She was always looking out for my best interest and always had a warm heart. I used to play this stupid game with her when we were in high school which caused her to blush every time. I don't remember the rules exactly now, but I do remember gloating every time she blushed. We were friends back then. Nothing more. Nothing less.
"Edward, you've had too much to drink... pull over and I'll drive" She murmured.
"Bull-Fucking-Shit" I said with a laugh added into it. "You've drunk more than me"
My fingers were clenched tight around the steering wheel and I speed up some more. I heard her gasp and in some strange sick fantasy of mine, I imagined her perfect lips wrapped around my cock, giving me head in this drunken state of mine, whilst driving.
I turned the corner roughly, a squeal coming from her mouth and a sickening smile coming to mine as the back end of the car spun out lightly.
"Edward-"
I knew where I stood in life. And I knew what type of person I was. Bella was good to me, too good and I didn't deserve her. I took her love and compassion for granted and used it to my advantage, I didn't mean too... I just did. I miss the days. You know? Those days were you grudgingly got up and went to school and you'd complain the whole day but secretly you were having the best time. Those were the best days, the best social days of my life.
Jackson. My childhood best friend. We grew up next door to one another, our mothers best friends, our fathers work friends. We were perfect as far as best friends went. Fishing, bike riding, movies, late nights, perving on girls, dating the twins, losing our virginities in the same week... we were brothers. Life long friends. He could finish my sentence. I could make his sentence dirty.
But I thought he was happy. I thought he had everything he wanted. Then one day he didn't show up to school. I thought he was sick. He'd pulled the sick card earlier in the week so I didn't think twice. He was always taking days off school, his parents didn't really care. I wish mine wouldn't. And his girlfriend Samantha of a year was incredible and good to him too, but she didn't seem worried so I didn't worry either.
We had a plan. And I'd been saving up for 5 years to do this plan. Me and Jackson, backpacking through out Europe, and we were leaving this god forsaken place in only 3 days. I was excited and so was he.
Yet even now I feel bad. I didn't even go to check on him that afternoon, instead opting to get a blow job, behind the gymnasium.
I remember getting home and dad was already home from work, which I thought was odd. He was sitting at the good dining room table, head in his hands. I could hear mum sobbing from the kitchen. My father heard me enter, the smile on my face from remembering what had just happened with the slut Tanya behind the gym wore off when I saw my fathers eyes.
"What's wrong" He didn't look like he wanted to tell me.
"It's Jackson" he murmured. My mother appeared looking more dishevelled than I'd ever seen her. Her eyes blotchy make up removed and I felt my world slowly shatter.
"He's dead. He committed suicide this morning"
My world dropped as I ran out the door screaming, jumping the fence heading for his house.
My father later explained that he had Bi-Polar disorder a form of Manic depression and was diagnosed with it 3 years earlier, that's why he took so much time off school. He then went on to tell me that I made him the happiest he'd ever been. But that hadn't changed a thing.
He wasn't here.
The bastard had left me here.
Hadn't even confided in me. His best friend. His lifelong brother.
And that's why I was in this disgusting mood, speeding along the freeway, with too much alcohol in my system with a petrified Bella by my side.
Mike-Fucking-Newton. The cunt got in my face. Just because he has the fucking emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean you pick on the dead. Especially if he is dating Samantha now.
"Edward you need to slow down. The roads are slippery" I could barely hear her. I was too busy thinking of everything.
A couple of days after Jackson had suicided, I snuck into the local pool with a few mates after a long day of drinking in respect to Jackson (only his favourite drink Jack Daniels straight of course). But first we'd made a side trip to the cemetery to pay tribute to Jackson. "Life's, life. You've just got to make the best out of it" That was his motto for everything. It was good but I used to always give him a quizzical look when he said something like that. So when we'd snuck into the local pool, Little did I know they had senses and Chief of Police, Charlie Swan showed up and arrested me when I was passed out in the kiddie pool.
He put me in a cell for the night and when I was released the next morning I had to wait for a very embarrassed and ashamed Esme to come and pick me up. As I was in the waiting room she walked in. In all her classic beauty she breezed straight past me and strawberries wafted my way. She wore a knee length white and red dress, hair down all wavy and silky looking whilst she handed a brown paper bag over the counter with a big smile and a 'This is for Charlie Swan'
I knew immediately who she was. The whole town had been waiting on her to show up. She smiled again, tucked her hair behind her ear and breezed back out again.
That just pissed me off. How fucking dare she. My BEST FRIEND was dead and here she was laughing and smiling and being all... being all pretty and. . . I stood up, evading the officer behind the counter and followed after her.
"Hey!" I called as she almost crawled into a big red truck a few cars away. She paused and looked my way, her dark brown eyes almost causing me to have a heart attack right there. Jackson's eyes was... well were the same intense brown.
"Hi" she said sheepishly, a small smile creeping onto her face. I knew I looked like shit. I could even smell me and that was bad. I wore my converse, tight denim jeans, black shirt and my hair was all dishevelled, even though I knew I looked like shit, I also knew I was good looking.
"Have a little respect for the dead why don't you?" I shot back at her. Her smile faltered and she shook her head, obviously thinking I was a lunatic or something.
"I'm sorry I'll try not to disturb you're empty soul" She got into her truck and pulled out of the parking lot.
I later found out she was here for Jackson's funeral. They were long time friends also and she'd come here to live with Charlie because he had taken his childhood best friends, sons death rather hard.
"Edward" She groaned again as I got my little Volvo up to its full speed. I bit my bottom lip. "Let me drive" she said again.
"Shut up Bella" I murmured.
It was 5 years today. And I hated Jackson more than ever right now.
"I haven't done anything wrong Edward. You're going to hurt us both if you keep driving"
I ignored her.
I kept driving, going in circles sometimes. . . maybe I was doing it deliberately to hear the shocked sound that escaped her mouth.
She was never as good as him. Her eyes were never as bright as his. Her laugh was never as joyful as his. It was only now I realised after 5 years of being with her did I realise this. She wasn't him and I was trying to make her be him. My best friend who I then turned into my lover.
"Edward there's a truck up ahead" She sounded like she was pleading.
I can't say I didn't try or that I didn't fall in love first.
After our stupid ignorant first encounter because of me, it turned out we were in a few classes together, and with her consistent breezing past me and her strawberry body odour I was surprise she didn't make half the guys in school suffocate in her presence.
Then I thank the lord she became friends with Rosalie Hale and Alice Brandon. I'd rooted both of them before, and we were in the same group at school. Things developed from there.
We were friends (after I'd apologized for my attitude that day) then we were friends with benefits, then we were dating, then a couple, then we were both single for a few months because she claimed I had commitment issues, then finally we were engaged and have been for the past 2 years.
"Edward let me out!" She yelled as she put her hand on the door handle, but I'd already locked the doors. "You will hit that truck!" she yelled again. The lights were really bright. And I didn't understand what she was bitching about. We were in a different lane to the truck.
As if seeming to understand what she thought I was thinking about, she yelled and pointed at the random road we were on. I looked down. Only one lane.
"Shit" I cursed. It was too late to heavily brake, we would have lost control, or hit the gravel on the side of the road. I tried easing onto the brake and we were losing speed rapidly, but not fast enough.
I hit it. The one thing I shouldn't have done, I hit the gravel. And the car spun out just like I'd predicted. And we spun in circles for a few minutes, Bella screaming and me with my eyes closed tightly.
"I'm sorry!" I burst out, when I'd opened my eyes to see the car spinning some more before slowing down. The truck hadn't seen us. I'd forgot to put my head lights on.
And then I saw them. Her dark brown eyes, worried, scared, loving, beautiful.
For the first time in 5 years, I saw my best friend.
And then I saw blackness.
It was my choice.
It is my choice. It is my choice if I want to speed. It is my choice if I want to drink. It is my choice if I hit that scumbag Mike Newton in his fucking face. And it is my choice if I hit the gravel.
And it is my choice if I want to spend the rest of my life in despair. It is always my choice.
-X-
"You're honour. Edward Anthony Cullen is clearly unstable, he has been suffering from black outs for the past 4 months, insomnia, chronic vomiting, bed wetting, migraines, lung problems and fevers"
My Lawyer sat down and the other lawyer stood up and began making his speech. I wasn't listening. I hadn't been listening for... what did she say? 4 months? Well gee. Aren't I popular anymore?
I spent my second night in jail after the hospital released me a week after that night.
Then I spent my third, fourth, five and sixth in there.
I am currently being charged with, drinking whilst intoxicated, endangering others, Culpable driving, speeding, not to mention they found traces of that fucking date rape drug in me.
Awesome. I was drugged.
But I can't complain.
Now she's not here.
My beautiful, incredible, amazing, clumsy, fiancé is now partying up in heaven with Jackson.
They probably created their own dark brown-eyed club and they'd make me wait outside.
"Court is adjourned until tomorrow at 3pm" The judge hit his mallet on the wood thing and I was tapped on the shoulder by my lawyer.
"Edward, come on. We have to get you back home. Do you remember what I said if the media outside? Which they probably are with a big case like this" I nodded dully.
"Nothing" She smiled at me and patted my shoulder again.
"Exactly, try to cover your face as well, you're jacket will do nicely" I took my jacket off as we got to the front of the courthouse and the media went into a frenzy. I was covering my face with my jacket, most were trying to pull it away but my lawyer kept dragging me through them saying, "No Comment!"
I made it to the car and slumped down into it.
There was just no point in caring anymore.
I'd ruined any chance I had at happiness.
"Where can I drop you hon?" She asked as she pulled out of the parking lot. I put my jacket back over my face as there were still media around, then pulled it down once we were on the open road.
"Anywhere with alcohol" I murmured taking in the scenery.
They wouldn't let me attend her funeral. They said it would be a tragic enough moment without me being there to ruin it. I got her remembrance booklet in the mail a couple of days later. Esme had shoved it under my bedroom door, she hadn't looked at me in weeks and I cried myself to sleep that night.
Pages of her happy in her childhood had been splashed all throughout the booklet. No photo's of myself were there, just her being happy and joyful.
But they didn't understand. Nobody did. I will love her until I am an old man, or until I have completely lost my wits about everything. I will love her with my every fibre of my existence and then some. She was in my dreams every night whispering to me, and if I sat very still in my own calmness at night I could hear her whispering to me. Egging me on the take the leap of faith and trust my instincts.
Yet here I was. And I was an absolute cunt not to realise it before, but she was my everything. I abused, took for granted, manipulated all because I thought she was a crappier interpretation of Jackson.
He would have told me to grow up and stop moping. But I couldn't help it. It hurt to breathe without her. And all along I was too busy letting her no she wasn't him.
"Edward, this bar is only a couple of minutes away from yours okay?" she paused to look me over. I knew she was giving me that 'You have obviously come from a rich family' look but I just looked out the window. "As your lawyer I should advise you not to go in and make a complete mess of this whole case-"
"I don't care!" I butted in rudely.
"I know" she said sympathetically, "But as a friend, I'll be here if you need a lift home okay?" I nodded and got out.
The bar wasn't exactly like a bar. More like a room with a table filled with alcohol, a man behind it cleaning a filthy glass, and a pool table in the corner. Everything was dark and I couldn't help but have to squint to see if anyone else was in here.
"Jack straight thanks" I murmured as I sat down in a chair.
"6.50 mate" He said as he handed me the glass. I gave him the money and took a sip. It burnt my throat but I didn't care.
The hours seemed to drag by and I kept ordering my 'Jack Straight' and soon enough my head began to go fuzzy like almost every other night.
"You look like shit" An old man I'd been easily ignoring for the past twenty minutes finally decided to speak up.
"Speak for yourself" I said as I looked him over. He looked like a homeless man. Apart from the fact that his hands we spotlessly clean. He gave a chuckle and wiped his filthy white hair out of his eyes.
"Bryon" he stated proudly, holding his hand out for me to take. I shook his hand, almost cringing at the fact that it felt incredibly smooth also.
"Edward," I mumbled dryly, releasing his hand and taking another swig of my drink.
"Ahh, yes and offcourse I know who you are" he said with a big smile, his wrinkles mixing in with his filthy hair. "Got drunk, ran amuck, bashed some poor guy, killed your girlfriend in a car accident, and luckily has the money to get out of everything. Yes, everybody knows you"
"Thanks for the reminder" I stated dryly. He chuckled again and ordered a drink after a moment. I gulped my drink down, ready to leave as this guy was already annoying me.
"Ahh, ease up a bit mate. Come on I'll buy you a drink" And even though I could have very well afforded my own drink, this man buying me one seemed to have an effect on me.
"I'll buy next round" I said, swinging around to face the front of the bar again.
Time drizzled by slowly. You could say I was actually having an okay time with this Homeless guy, but that would be an understatement. I was wasting time to avoid going back home. Where mother Esme couldn't look at me the same anymore and Father Carlisle avoids me every time I'm near. But this guy, this Bryon guy was... what's the word... Insightful. Like he had seen a lot in his life.
Maybe I should run away and join the circus, you know. Toughen up a bit inside. Get rid of these fucking emotions that torment me every goddamn day. Or maybe I should just deal with it, accept that she's gone and I am a complete misery of a human.
"Don't you just wish that sometimes you could take it all back?" He asked casually about half an hour later. He was staring off into the corner of the room, remembering some shit in his past that bought him to this moment in life.
"Life's life. You've just got to make the best out of it" I murmured, taking another sip of the drink. I saw him nod out the corner of my eye. "But I think anything else would be better than what I have-"
"True, but its our choices that lead us to everything" He smiled again and I looked at him quizzically.
"It's always my choice" I murmured to myself. He seemed to think I was talking to him and he ordered another round.
"Would you do it exactly the same again?" He asked quietly.
"No. Offcourse I wouldn't but I was just a stupid teenager when I hurt her the most and a selfish man when she died..."
"Adolescences can be so cruel" He muttered with a shake of his head. He then began mumbling to himself, and I could have sworn I saw his eyes roll in the back of his head, "For of all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been',"
I was quiet for a moment, taking his words in before I turned to look at him, yet he'd gone. Not a sign he had truly been there. His drink he'd sipped on moments earlier had disappeared, his seat was moved back over in its original position, and the smell of B.O. that had clung to the air like a bad germ also had gone.
I stood up clumsily, throwing a 50 down on the bench and I walked out into the night-time streets. It was muggy for a mid-May night and stretched my arms tightly behind my back before setting off home in a slow, wonky pace.
Eventually I made it home after a few wrong turns and I noticed first of all that Carlisle car was missing. I ignored it figuring he had night shift at the hospital whilst I fumbled with the locks on the front door. Once I stepped inside, I leant my head against the door as manoeuvre to help kick my shoes off with my feet.
"Edward?" Esme's voice was soft, and she turned the lamp on in the front room, illuminating the perfect lounge room with her sat on the cosy love seat, a blanket covering her legs.
"Why are you still up?" I asked turning back to try and kick my shoes off.
"I was worried. It's past midnight" She said the calmly, and I heard her knees crack as she stood up off the couch. I snorted and took my jacket off slinging it over the back of the couch.
"You were worried? About me being out past midnight? Not about me maybe going to jail tomorrow? Just about me being out past midnight?" I glared down at her, usually she would have backed off instead she came over and stood in front of me. She place her warm, loving hand against my cheek and I tried not to cringe away from it. Instead trying to show her I still cared. I still loved.
"I love you very much Edward. And I believe you feel bad for all you're past wrong doings. And I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you for the past few months but I feel like you're a stranger..." She stopped her calm voice and looked up at me, tears brimming her eyes lashes.
"Mom, I-"
"Carlisle has left" She said sadly. "He couldn't... He tried..." She stopped and I felt my heart breaking. I break everything I ever touch. "He loved you so much Edward. And it was hard on him having to operate on you... He saved your life yet he was too late to help Bella-"
"Don't Mom-"
"He told me, that every time he looked at you he saw a sad little helpless boy who is living a unhappy, ungrateful life" She put her other hand up against my other cheek and I couldn't help but feel like a complete failure in life. "He asked me to come Edward. He tried so hard and he asked me to walk away" She traced my forehead. Then over my eyelids as they shut.
She pulled me down to hug her as she kissed my cheek, her lingering motherly kiss etched into my skin forever.
"I love you more than words could ever, ever describe" She leant down, her hands still upon my cheeks as my eyes were watering. I averted her gaze, trying not to show weakness. Glancing over her shoulder I saw two bags neatly packed.
"No, Mom" I crocked out. A sob escaped my lips as I looked down at her.
"Edward, I'm sorry" She ran her finger along my cheek again before wiping her eyes. I looked away.
I knew this was my fault. It always was. Like the time when Carlisle bought me a puppy and said 'Don't let it outside, it hasn't had its vaccine yet' And I did. Or the time Esme kindly told me 'Edward, please don't touch the chilli pasta sweetie, it's too hot for you and it will scold your throat' And I did.
"No Mom. I'm sorry" I whispered. She kissed my cheek again and she then got her bags and left the room quietly.
I walked up to my room, refusing to shower, to show emotion. Instead I fell on the bed and looked at my ceiling.
Bella.
My mind chanted and I could feel my pulse rising.
Bella.
It chanted again and my heart began pounding.
Bella.
It whispered louder and louder.
Edward.
She called before I fell asleep.
-X-
My alarm went off quietly and I ignored it.
There was no point in living.
No point in getting up. Everyone watching his or her T.V. discussing my life has already decided it should also be over. I would just wait in bed I decided. I would wait until my high paying lawyer came in here and dragged my ass out of bed.
I would wait until the judge said I was guilty and I would wait until my time was done.
I would probably get the death penalty.
"Edward, shut that damn thing off" My eyes flung open. I slowly raised my head to see red hair sprawled out on the bed next to me. "Now Edward" She murmured again.
I was breathing heavily.
I don't remember bringing anyone home with me last night. In fact I'm one hundred percent certain I DIDN'T bring anyone home with me.
I jumped up out of bed and scattered across to the other side of the room.
"What's going on?" I insisted, backing myself up against the wall.
The red headed woman groaned and rolled over to my side of the bed. She flung her arm out and hit the alarm before rolling back.
"Who are you?" I demanded. She sat up and looked at me oddly before sighing and climbing out of bed. Her naked torso swung as she walked into the bathroom.
"Was it a big night with the boys then?" She called from the bathroom, the door was slightly ajar and I could hear her turning the shower knobs.
I took note of the room. Before a few photo's clung on the vanity desk which caught my attention. I walked over and examined them, then red head wore a big white dress as I... wait... I stood next to her in a tuxedo. Carlisle and Esme, at my side. Both looking proud and joyess.
"Edward" She called from the bathroom.
I ignored her and threw on the trunks which were on the ground. I immediately ran out the door. Pictures of my life flew past me at high school happy, graduation with the red head and Jackson by my side, more of my wedding day...
What the fuck was going on?
I ran down the stairs, noticing how utterly grand this house was. I ran into a room.
The kitchen.
I began opening up draws, I found a sharp knife so I pulled it out and kept moving.
The next drawer was filled with bills. I began rummaging through rapidly.
Mrs Cullen.
Mr & Mrs Cullen.
Mr Edward Cullen.
Mrs Victoria Cullen.
Victoria. This red-headed woman was my wife.
How is that possible?
She appeared moments later with a towel wrapped around her and another towel in her hair.
"Ahh, good are you making your famous brochette?" She asked indicating to the knife. I stood frozen in place. Making what? . . . I cook?
"No actually..." I coughed and closed the bills drawer. "I was actually going to er-" to what? Bail on this crazy woman who thought I was her husband? Or maybe I was the crazy one.
"Yes, yes. You said you left your work phone at Emmett's last night when you stumbled in the door. I took your keys and gave them to Rosmerta" Who?
"Well can I have them?" I inquired.
She looked at me stunned.
"Don't you know what day it is?" she snapped at me. I shook my head.
"No! Off course you fucking wouldn't! It's my sisters birthday and we have a lunch to attend. So please got a get ready!" She snapped at me again.
"I'm sorry" I said quietly. She sighed then walked over to me.
"I was serious about the conversation about our future Edward. You know I'm sorry I cheated. It was once and you know I really want to start a family. I love you. We'll talk later" she gave me a chapped kiss I quickly nodded and ran out of the room to avoid the crazy bitch
I ran into the room I woke up in and began furiously looking through the cupboards. I found some jeans and a plain t-shirt and threw them on. Next I found some flip-flops and I quickly peeked out of the door. I heard two people in conversation down in the kitchen still.
"-Just presumed he could leave? I mean where does he get off! Honestly Rosmerta that man acts like a child-"
I shut the door. I'd had heard enough so I ran over to the window and lifted it up quietly. I looked out before looking back into the room. I noticed my wallet and personal phone on the night stand and grabbed it before quickly and quietly scaling the house. I reached the bottom after having to jump the past few feet were my feet were tingling with pain and I began running. I ran down the long green lawn and jumped the little fence.
"Where the fuck am I?" I thought out loud, looking wildly left and right. I noticed a boy around the age of 16 on a bike no more that 20 metres away so I ran over to him.
"Hey Mr. Cullen how are you?" He asked coolly.
"Good" I mumbled back.
"Can I borrow your bike?" I asked looking at the bike again.
"I'm supposed to do paper deliveries with it" he said in a sorry voice. I flipped my wallet open and gapped at the hundred dollar bills lines neatly inside it.
"Can I borrow it for two hundred dollars?" I asked pulling the notes out. He stared at me in amazement.
"I don't"
"Two fifty. And I insist" I said giving him my best friendly smile. I handed the money over and he handed me the bike.
I jumped onto it and started pedalling furiously.
I turned left, right, left, left, right, left, left.
And I was lost.
Only when I stopped could I feel the phone in my back pocket vibrating. I pulled it out and it revealed Victoria's name. I ignored it then waited until it had loaded my contacts list.
I started scrolling.
Alice.
Angela.
Bella.
Carli-
Bella.
Bella.
No.
This wasn't possible.
She was dead.
I dialled her number and put the phone against my ear.
"Good morning baby. How did you sleep after last night? Was Victoria horrible?"
Her voice sang through the phone and I almost cried.
"What- how?" I asked completely baffled. I heard her sigh.
"Where are you? You have really bad reception" I looked around.
"Corner of Roberts and Bat" I murmured.
"Why are you there?" She asked quietly.
"I gave some kid 250$ to give me his bike. I escaped from the evil bitch" I told her honestly. She laughed her beautiful laugh and my eyes welled up in tears. Somewhere in the back of my head I had to know this was a dream.
"Give me twenty minutes and I'll be there" She promised. We hung up and I sat on the seat of the bike, waiting patiently.
So I was married to a bitch called Victoria. From what I can gather, we had been together for a while. And I was cheating on her with Bella. My Bella. My beautiful Bella who deserved everything in life and I was cheating on her with the bitch Victoria.
Victoria called again and I gave her the benefit of the doubt and answered.
"Where the fuck are you?" She screamed.
"Er- work emergency" I said.
"You don't work Edward. Remember. YOUR THE BOSS" she yelled again.
"I know, I'm sorry. Emmett and I just thought-"
"Man up Edward. If you can't admit your going to the pub this early then don't even bother talking to me" She hung up on me and I was thankful that my battery had plenty of life. I ran through the texts quickly whilst waiting for Bella.
Edward, can you stop and pick up that diamond broach I bought the other day from the Jewellers? Victoria
Edward, get me the dry cleaning. Victoria.
Edward your mother is coming to get your old clothes to give to charity today. I don't know why you don't just tell her to fuck off and keep out of your life, she has her own. Tell her to live it on her own! Victoria.
Edward,
Edward,
They all continued that way with Victoria telling me to do something before I stumbled on one from Bella.
Edward my gorgeous boy. I love you more than I did the day we first met. Have an amazing night sweetie. You deserve everything life can offer you! Love always, your Bella.
I smiled and re-read it before she actually pulled up. I watched as she got out of the car looking every bit as beautiful as I remembered.
Her long dark curls were the same. Her lips, rosy and plump and her eyes looking more intense than ever before. The desire that burned into them let me know she loved me more now than she ever had before. And I couldn't help myself. In the middle of the middle of the street with people surrounding me I burst into tears crying.
Bella came running over to me and jumped into my arms and I hugged her like there was absolutely no tomorrow. Like there was nothing else in this world. Or in my dream that could wake me up.
"Edward" She cooed running her fingers through my hair and I gripped her small frame tighter.
"I'm sorry!" I whispered to her. "If you only knew how truly sorry I am" I said clutching her. I could feel her small sobs cascading against her chest and ran my hand over the back of her head and began kissing. I kissed her forehead, cheeks, eyelids, chin, nose, then her lips and I kissed them with my tears and her tears and our hope and dreams.
She was the one.
She always had been.
Ever since I'd seen her breeze in through the doors with the strawberry scent and beautiful smile.
-X-
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you" I said as Bella handed me a mug of coffee. We were sitting on her small sofa in her lounge room of her cute small house. She said it was our house because I helped renovate it and I helped pick out most of the furniture, but if it was also my house I would have left the bitch by now.
"Try me" She whispered as she leant forward over the coffee table and placed her hand on my knee.
"Okay... well. I've been thinking, and have you ever heard of the Multiverse theory?" I asked her quietly.
"Sure" She said taking a sip of her drink "In small talk, the Multiverse theory is a bunch of universes, similar to ours that experience the same or different occurrences. Also known as the Parallel universe" She smiled and nodded for me to continue.
"Okay, well... don't freak out of or anything. But I'm not from here" I said quietly. She looked at me solemnly for a moment before speaking again.
"I don't understand" I said honestly.
"Okay. But please, please don't freak out" I paused and took another sip of my coffee. "I'm really not from here. Well I'm from somewhere but not here. Earth yes. This-" I moved my hands around in a circle indicating everything around me "-Universe, no" I paused again and a small smile played at her lips.
"Go on, continue"
"Well... where to start" . . . "I noticed in the house that there where photo's of Jackson. Do you know him?" Bella looked stunned for a moment before nodding.
"You don't remember?" She asked quietly.
"Remember what?" Please say he's not dead. Please say he's not dead.
"Jackson and I divorced a little over a year ago Edward" She said quietly. "We were drunk one night, and Jackson went to bed early and it was just you and me and well everything with him went down hill from that..."
I was shocked.
Beyond shocked.
Mortified.
In this world, in this dream Bella. MY Bella. Was with Jackson.
"Well" I said trying to wrap my head around it. "Well in my... world I think is the right term, well in my world. Jackson suicided when we were 16. He had had depression for years and he had had a bad route of it and... suicided. And I took his death pretty hard" Her eyes looked confused. "We were in our senior year. And then you came to Forks High, and I was mad at you because you looked beautiful and smelt incredible and my best friend had died. Well we started dating on and off for years because I couldn't get over Jackson and I was trying to make you fill the void. And I was depressed and upset at some point and I always took it out on you. Well about four months ago, in my time I had a car accident. I had been driving and you got in the car with me because you loved me and you died..." I looked at her now to see tears running down her cheeks. "My mum and dad gave up on me..." I looked out of the window, not able to stand looking at her broken form.
"Tomorrow. Well today I was supposed to have my final sentencing for court. I was up on 5 counts against me. I planned on killing myself the moment I got out of jail. Because in my world, I realised I loved you more than anything else in the entire world the last time I saw your eyes" She smiled at me and leant over to kiss me. I kissed her back. "I'm so, so, so sorry. I never thought I would see you again and I'm here now and your here and I don't know why!"
Bella smiled and sat on my lap. I clung to her frame again and she soothed me by running her fingers through my hair. My god how I missed that.
"I moved to Forks high in my senior year in this world too" She said with a small smile "I was supposed to move in a couple of months, but something came up with my mother Renee so I had to move early. I met you, Jackson, and that horrible girl Victoria. At the time she was you flavour of the month, but Jackson and I slowly started dating and well. It fit in good if Victoria joined too..." She stopped talking and things were starting to click away.
It was Bella that saved Jackson. If she had come months later instead of when she showed up in this universe he would have been dead already and everything else would have gone in the same direction, but something along the course of time changed and she came early, saving him from himself.
"I love you" I said softly. But was I selfish enough to admit she would have been better off without me in her life. "So how did this all happen? How did you leave him and how did I end up cheating on Victoria with you?" I asked.
"As I said," Bella started softly, her delicate fingers still stroking my hair. "Jackson went to bed early one night, and you and I were still drinking and it sort of happened. Honestly Edward, we had been flirting for years and it wasn't a surprise to anyone..."
"Why haven't I left Victoria?" I asked softly.
"You have. Once or twice. But the money is hers, and you like the money" She said calmly. I looked at her and could tell it broke her heart knowing that I wasn't leaving the Bitch From Hell for her. Especially when she had left Jackson for me.
"But Victoria-"
"Is a horrible woman and you have to do her dirty work" Bella said bluntly.
"Do I drink often?" I asked after whole heartedly agreeing with her.
"No, not at all really. Why?"
"Just something she mentioned, about me going to the pub this early in the morning" I said looking down. Bella's musical laugh rang through her small house as her eyes gleamed.
"That's her code word for me. You both cheat on each other!" The guilt that I hadn't realised that was resting on my heart seemed to evaporate. Thank-God.
"I'm not going back" I said quietly. I ran my hand up her leg then back down again, "Ever" the smile on her face widened and I cupped her cheek. "I'm staying here. I refuse to go back" I hugged her tightly, acting like a child but I didn't care. Maybe I could be happy here.
"What do you do?" I asked.
"I quit my job like you'd been asking me to do for years. And I'm writing a book" She smiled and pointed over in the corner were an old type writer sat quietly, papers scattered around it. I smiled back at her and kissed the crook of her neck.
"You're different" She noted.
"I know" I said calmly.
-X-
I spent the rest of the day making love to Bella, showing her what I couldn't show her in my world, and what she didn't once again the love I didn't give her fully and completely in this world. It made me happy to know I was bringing a sparkle to her eyes, the type of sparkle I never gave her and I thrived off of it.
I found out in the afternoon that Jackson and I only conversed in public areas, he was currently dating Victoria and had been for a couple of months. And yes it annoyed me that he wasn't my friend, but I'd already made a plan to go and check on him tomorrow. To talk to him. To cry for him.
"Why don't I just leave her?" I asked randomly.
"Because the Pre-Nup states you have to spend 10 years together before you are entitled to half of the money in the bank"
She is amazing. Beautiful. Funny. Witty. Charming. Charismatic. And that is only the start of it.
Around 10:30 that night I was struggling to keep my eyes open as was Bella, and I was scared that if I go to sleep she wouldn't be here in the morning and I would wake and have to go to jail. We were currently wrapped up in OUR blanket, our nakedness pressed against each other, me twirling her hair around my finger and Bella running her nails gently up and down my back.
"I'm sorry I ruined your life" I said solemnly. She looked up at me and I ran my hand over her cheek and down her jaw-line and neck. "In my life that is a big thing... me saying sorry" I muttered the last part quietly and she leant up and kissed me gently.
"I. Love. You. Just you. Only you. Forever" she said calmly.
I smiled at her and continued twirling her hair.
"You're like the butterfly effect" She said softly a couple of minutes later.
"Like the movie?" I asked curiously. She nodded, so I continued, "What do you mean?"
"Well, okay. One hundred and fifty million years ago when the dinosaurs walked the earth, a butterfly could have landed on T-Rex's eye. Ensuing it falling into an enormous tree, which could have still continued to grow and when humans evolved they could have worshipped the tree, making a civilisation around it. Resulting in everything around the world being changed. Now think of this-" She sat up on the bed, talking eagerly to be, leaning on her elbows. "If that butterfly hadn't have landed on the dinosaurs eyes, the tree never fell down, the civilisation never changed. One small insignificant thing changing the course of life forever..."
"So what does that mean...?"
"You're Eric Bana" She stated happily.
"Wait... Eric Bana wasn't in the Butterfly Effect"
"Yes he was" She said shaking her head.
"No he wasn't" I said with a big smile.
"Yes he was..." we both looked at each other.
"So in my world, I effected the course of the movie? Because Ashton Kutcher played that part in our movie..." we both looked at each other for a few minutes.
"We should get some sleep" she said softly.
"Sure" I said giving her one long lasting kiss. She leaned into my kiss, groaning in process. I rested my hands on her cheeks and eventually pulled away.
"I love you..."
"I. Love. You." She replied with.
I was just starting to doze off when a sudden wave of dizziness hit me.
Bella.
My mind chanted and I could feel my pulse rising.
Bella.
It chanted again and my heart began pounding.
Bella.
It whispered louder and louder.
Edward.
She called before I fell asleep.
-X-
I breathed in a deep breath in the morning, light cascading over the room. I knew I was still with Bella because in my room all the windows were barred up, trying to keep the light out but this light gave me a nice welcome feeling. I was immensely happy that this wasn't a dream, so I rubbed my eyes with the palm of my hands and then rolled over, bringing her to me and putting my head in the crook of her neck.
"Good morning beautiful" I said kissing her neck.
An elbow came out of nowhere and struck me in my ribs causing me to be winded.
"What the hell" I said, opening my eyes and taking in my surroundings. The room was different.
No.
No.
Not again!
I was happy! Not this shit again!
"Keep away from me!" Bella spat at me with venom in her voice, as she jumped out of the bed and bounded across the room.
"But-" I started, trying to calm her down. "It's just me-"
"I know who you fucking are!" She spat again. "So just because I'm a deep sleeper you think you can break the restraining order I have against you and come here?" I looked at her bright red face on quickly got out of the bed, backing away with my hands in the air.
"But, but what about last... night?" It was pointless. I was in another universe. I could feel it in my blood, I was completely different here than to what I was last night.
"How do I know what you got up to with your whore last night?" she said, her lips pursed in a tight line. "Talking about the whore, would she be happy to know you snuck into my house and proceeded to try and get back with me? I'm sure her daddy wouldn't be too happy. He is your boss after all"
I am so confused. Am I still with Victoria? Or am I with Bella? What the Fuck is going on? Why couldn't life be simple, unpredictable.
"What happened?" I asked suddenly, taking a step forward but she backed away even more steps further.
"Oh please. Is it the drugs or alcohol which have affected your impossibly confusing brain?"
"Please Bella" I asked quietly.
"Excuse me? Excuse me?" She screamed at me. I backed away, my hands up again. "You have the decency to stand there and- and call me the whores name!" She yelled again.
WHAT THE HELL.
"But that's your name!?" I yelled back. She glared at me and pointed at the door.
"Get out, get the fuck out of my house Jackson!" She yelled again.
I looked at her. Then at my discarded clothes on the floor. I quickly threw them on and left the room, her screaming at me what an arrogant turd I truly was and I could feel my eyes brimming with tears and my mind reeling as to what was going on. I walked out of the front door and onto the street, the sun was blinding me and once again and as I got to the end of the driveway then looked left then right.
Bella has called me Jackson... was I Jackson?
I whipped out my phone and called Bella again.
"Hello?" She answered. She sounded calm, different though.
"Are you still mad at me?" I asked cautiously.
"Well no, but I was a little annoyed you couldn't help me move into my new place last night and ended up out with the boys. But that's cool. Do you want to come over for breakfast before we head off to work?" I couldn't pick her voice, it sounded so different and I looked back over to the house to see Bella standing in her doorway.
"KEEP WALKING SLUT!" She screamed out at me.
I don't get it. I was on the phone to Bella, yet there she was at the front door, her finger pointing away from herself.
"Yes... what's the directions again?" I asked, thanking God that she had moved house and I hadn't been there. She gave me the directions and I hung up shortly after that. I began walking down the road, only a few pavements under my feet when I heard jingling in my back pocket, I felt around before producing a set of keys. I pressed the button and a silver Volvo a couple of houses down beeped. I did a low whistle and ran over to it, sliding in comfortable and putting the keys in.
It purred to life and I smiled, taking it out of Park and putting it into drive. I found her house perfectly fine and parked before briskly walking up to the front door. I knocked a few times and I could hear shuffling around on the other side of the door.
"It's unlocked" she called from in the house. I opened the door and stepped in. It was big, but small at the same time. A lot of boxes yet to be unpacked also so I manoeuvred around them and found her in the lounge room bending over getting something out of a box. I smirked at the sight and wolf whistled. She jumped up, spinning around in the process and I had the wind knocked out of me.
"Nice work," Victoria said with a big smile "That's 20 seconds you'd been in the house and you've already used a crude comment" She smiled and walked over to me, kissing me on the cheek.
"Er-" I said severely confused. "Bella?" I asked quietly.
"Yes sweetie?" she said, keeping her arm around my waist.
"Where's the toilet?" I blurted out. Bella was Victoria. Wait, no Bella's mind was in Victoria's body which meant-
"Second on the right" She said pointing down the hallway. I smiled and bolted into the bathroom. I closed the door and clenched my eyes shut, feeling my way over to sink. I opened my eyes slowly, looking at myself in the mirror.
Dark brown eyes pierced into my eyes. Jackson's eyes stared back at me his, facial features almost the same but older. His body was toned, yet there was still the same freckle on his dimple, so if I smile it disappears. I smiled, it disappeared, and my eyes began to water.
5 years. 5 long years I've been longing to see his features talking to me and I couldn't help but let out a heaving chuckle. I fell to the floor, smiling, touching my face as I began to get into a hysterical laugh, everything became dizzy again. It didn't worry me, I was so happy I figured to much blood was being pumped into my brain.
Bella.
My mind chanted and I could feel my pulse rising.
No. No I'm not ready!
"No" I said quickly standing and looking into the mirror, just to see his face again.
Bella.
It chanted again and my heart began pounding.
He was incredible and I knew what was going to happen
Bella.
It whispered louder and louder.
Edward.
She called before I passed out on the cold tile floor the house.
-X-
I awoke groggy, not being able to remember what had just happened and I sat up. I was still on the cold tile floor of Bella/Victoria's house. My legs were shaky as I held onto the sink and stood up.
Looking in the mirror I felt two things of once. First I felt relief that I was myself again, the second was that I couldn't see him again, but pounding on the door happened a moment later and I jumped in shock.
"Edward mate?" I held my breath. I knew that voice anywhere. I opened the door and there he was in all his proper glory. I smiled at him and launched myself onto him, hugging him tightly.
"Hey man!" I almost yelled.
"Hey to you too" he said, pulling away with a baffled look on his face, I just shook it off and clapped him on the back.
Maybe a third time's a charm? Maybe this is the life I have been waiting for, Bella, Jackson. Everything I ever wanted.
"So Bella says it's cool if you want to stay in the guest bedroom," Jackson said as we headed to the lounge room.
My heart plunged.
"Edward did you want some pie for desert?" Bella said as she came out of the kitchen door, a pair of oven gloves on her hands and a great smelling pie in her hands. I watched as she winked at Jackson and he walked over to her, giving her a kiss on the cheek.
"It smells incredible baby" Jackson said as he leant over to smell the pie.
I couldn't look anymore, I quickly sat down and nodded.
"Sure, that would be great thanks" I mumbled. She handed me some pie and a fork and we sat down.
"So if you want to stay in the guest room Edward you a more than welcome. There is fresh linen on the bed and clean towels in the wardrobe" I watched as she took a small bite of her pie putting some more on the fork and leaning over to Jackson to put it in his mouth.
"Great baby" he said with a satisfied smile. I looked away, feeling my heartbreak for all the wrong reasons. In this world, they were happily together and I could not be jealous of her cheating because in this world she had no idea we were together.
"So you wouldn't believe what I found when we were cleaning out the attic the other day," Jackson said leaning over the end of the couch and opening up a small cupboard and getting out a video cassette.
"What's that?" I asked dully.
"Our graduation video" He walked over to the TV and placed it in the side, and a home video of me and Jackson drinking in our hats started. We were talking about our goals and aspirations before Bella came into the picture. Jackson picked her up and twirled her around and I blinked away the tears forming in my eyes.
In the video I smiled at them, took a sip of my drink and yelled out 'Get a room!'
It ended shortly after that and I smiled.
"It's pretty late..." Bella said looking at the clock on the wall, "And I have to clean up the mess you guys made tonight" She said touching his nose with the end of her finger and making a small smile at her. Jackson laughed out loud before lunging at her on the sofa they were sitting on. She squealed and he tickled her some more,
"Edward you know where the room is right?" Jackson said, looking up at me with pink cheeks.
"Yes" I answered, trying my hardest not to stand up and start screaming.
"Okay well we'll see you in the morning, can you just turn the light off when you head to bed?" He heaved Bella over his should and began up the stairs.
"NIGHT EDWARD!" Bella called as she waved also.
They were at the top of the stairs and I heard the door close.
"Jackson not tonight!" I could hear Bella talking.
"No, I really think tonight" he replied.
"Jackson, sweetie. Edward's down stairs!" She said with a giggle. I couldn't hear much from then on out, apart from the occasional giggle which reached downstairs.
I didn't hold the tears back as they fell down my cheeks, hanging my head in shame I walked into the spare room. I lay down on the bed, I could hear the bed moving upstairs.
I couldn't take it. I have to leave. Get out of here. Make a break for it.
Quietly I tip-toed through the house and out the front door. I knew this area pretty well to know there was a park only a few houses down. I began walking in the drizzle to the park, and came across it only a few moments later. I sat on the swing and began rocking slowly.
"I. Love. You. Only You. Forever"
Her voice was ringing in my ears and I began to sob.
Everything was wrong.
Was I going to continue to jump from one universe to the next for the rest of my life? Was I destined to have my heart broken every day until what? I learnt to love properly? Because I'll tell you what, it's broken. It is bloody shattered. There is no point in continuing this charade any more. I JUST DON'T CARE OKAY!
I LOST HER OKAY WORLD!! IS THAT OKAY WITH YOU UNIVERSE!! I FUCKED UP!!
"I fucked up big time! She is gone. She has passed away and I am travelling around randomly from one world to the next. I will never amount to anything and I will never, ever be good enough for her is that what you want?" I yelled into nothingness
Bella.
My mind chanted and I could feel my pulse rising.
Bella.
It chanted again and my heart began pounding.
Bella.
It whispered louder and louder.
Edward.
She called out loudly before I began to feel sleepy.
I stood up, staring around wildly. Not this again!
Every time this happened I passed out and woke up in a new god-damn world.
"I once asked you if you would do it the same way again, and you said no" I spun around to see the homeless man from the bar that night. He was dressed completely different, dressed in a black suit and a walking cane. His hair was neat and short, his posture perfect, he didn't look homeless at all though.
I glared at him and pointed my finger at him.
"You!" I spat out. He smiled, this time his teeth perfect.
"How are you Edward?"
"I'm fucking awesome!" I said with a short laugh.
"There is no need for sarcasm Edward-"
"Well ever since you said your crazy mumbo-jumbo shit I have been jumping from one scenario to the next! One minute I'm happy! Then next I'm bloody having my heart ripped out! What did you do to me? Because I'm taking a wild stab in the dark that it was you" I finished by pointing my finger at him again
"I gave you a second chance" he said with a small smile.
"TO WHAT?" I screamed back, a bit unethical, but I was livid. "To-to learn that I loved her more than anything else and wake up tomorrow morning with a ripper hangover and this was all a dream? To see him. HIM! To see Jackson and know I can never see him again? Do you get off on making people unhappy? Is that it?"
"Edward" he said slowly, "I gave you a second chance at love, life, respect, loyalty, trust. All you had to do was wake up"
"What do you mean wake up? Every time I wake up I'm somewhere new! You are sick you know that! Sick!" I spat at him.
"Edward, just wake up" He said with a small smile. He walked over to me and I stood still.
"Stay away from me" I murmured taking a couple of steps back.
"Edward, wake up" he said again. I don't know how he did it but he was standing not two feet from me.
"Go- go away"
"Edward. Just wake up" he smiled and everything around me went cold, my legs were trembling but I couldn't find the will power to move and inch.
"Edward, wake up"
My mind chanted and I could feel my pulse rising.
"Edward, just wake up"
It chanted again and my heart began pounding.
"Edward... please"
It whispered louder and louder.
Edward.
She called before I opened my eyes.
-X-
My eyes opened gently, they were extremely heavy and everything was blurry.
"Edward"
An ultraviolet light was somewhere nearby and I shook my head trying to get rid of the grogginess. "Where am I Byron?" I mumbled, blinking a few times coming into focus on Bella standing over me.
"Edward sweetie, are you okay?" She asked running her hand down my cheek. I didn't even bother clinking away the tears that were falling from my eyes. Her touch felt like heaven, felt more real than anything else.
"What- What happened?" I asked, my voice rough and scared.
"You're in the hospital honey" She said kissing my lips. "I'm just so glad you are awake" she kissed me again, tears falling from her amazing brown eyes.
"But... but Victoria and-"
"Who's Victoria honey?" she asked looking from one of my eyes to the next quickly.
"No-one... no-one at all" I said with a sigh and a small smile.
"I've missed your eyes so much" She muttered, kissing me again.
"How did I end up in here?" I tried to sit up but the muscles in my arms were weak and I just left it, choosing to lie down.
"You've been in a coma for 4 months sweetie. At Jackson's 5 year remembrance dinner Mike Newton hit you... do you remember?" I shook my head. I thought I hit him? "Well he hit you outside on the sidewalk, and you fell in front of a car, and that hit you also" she ran her arms up my arms. "Your dad put you into an induced coma a couple of days after it happened whilst he operated on you-" flashbacks came to me as she was talking,
"You're honour. Edward Anthony Cullen is clearly unstable, he has been suffering from black outs for the past 4 months, insomnia, chronic vomiting, bed wetting, migraines, lung problems and fevers"
"And we have been waiting for you to wake up ever since. Coming and speaking to you every night. Your dad said even if I just say your name once it triggers activity in the brain..." I looked into her loving eyes.
My brain was trying to tell me and give me subtle hints along the way that I was in a coma. I should have realised it earlier since Carlisle is a doctor but I was just too wrapped up in my own misery, only caring about myself that I couldn't see it.
"I'm so sorry" I said bluntly and truthfully. "I am so, so, sorry my gorgeous, beautiful girl" I pulled her hand toward me and kissed her knuckles. "You are amazing, wonderful, incredible and I want to spend every day telling you that..." I kissed her hand, "I think you should marry me" she sighed and kissed my forehead,
"We are already engaged silly" She said with a small smile.
"I know. But no more of this pro-longed engagement stuff. Let's do it okay?" she nodded, tears falling from her eyes freely as she began to cry harder, but a smile on her face told me she was okay.
"I love you" I said, ignoring the pain in my body as I leant up to kiss her.
"I. Love. You. Only You. Forever"
I leant back smiling. Watching her smile become more prominent as she kissed me again.
It is my choice if I wake up or not.
It is my choice if I wanted to grow up first.
N/A
There we go.
I hope you like it all, I had a lot of fun writing it, I actually wrote it in one night and it is 12:38 at night when I started at 5:30 this afternoon.
Now I actually had two endings to this story and if you all want to see the second one just let me know.
Also another quick note, all the information on Induced Coma is all true, I did the research first!
Thanks guys,
The Apple After Poison.