"Please jump."
Their lips meet and it's everything she could have ever dreamed of and more. The taste of his breath sparks tingles down her spine and she wishes he was kissing Just Miley, not Miley who is still wearing Hannah's thick make-up and sickly sweet cherry lip gloss and clutching the blonde barrier between her and her alter-ego in her fist. Just Miley would have made their first kiss in the chicken coup or at the waterfall, and her long brown hair would be out and Travis would be able to savour her naturally.
As it was, they had to make do with two simple days of sneaking away together in whatever free time they could grasp onto. They rode their horses through the undiscovered corners of their town, kissing and laughing in strawberry fields and falling asleep on the rock by the rope swing. She woke up before he did, and she takes in the sight of his eyelids twitching as he dreams for a moment before realising her skin itched and stung, that they'd been lying in the sun for too long and now looked like the lobsters that were served up at the mayor's dinner.
"Travis," she whispers, squeezing his shoulder lightly and watches as the white imprints of her fingers fade back into the pink of his sunburn.
He grunts and snorts a little as his eyes flutter open, but it's all the more endearing because she knows she does the same when roused from an undoubtedly good fantasy.
"Hi," he grins at her when he meets her ocean eyes, his dimples indenting his cheeks, and she has a feeling that's probably what she'll miss the most, that smile.
Her hand reaches out for his, and he takes it lightly, kissing the knuckle of her index finger. He moves into an upright position and leans in to kiss her properly, but apprehension radiates from her every pore and he pauses patiently for her to say whatever she's holding in.
"I go home tomorrow," it comes tumbling out in a choked voice, hand in hand with a frown he wants to reach out and smooth away with his fingertips.
"Crowley Corners is your home," his voice is stern but warm, and oh how she wishes that were true.
But the reality is that she's still Hannah, she still lives in California, and California seems a world away from the life she thinks she just might want back. A life where she could ride Blue Jeans every day, have her Grandma Ruby's eggs for breakfast, and Travis, her Travis, would only be a block away, not across the other side of the country.
"I'm afraid to leave because everything might be different when I come back."
He grabs her hand and pulls her to her feet so quickly that she stumbles forwards into him, and he laughs. He wraps his arms around her waist and brushes his lips across her forehead.
"Nothing ever changes around here. That's why I'm afraid to stay, because you might be different when you come back."
Her chest tightens as she pulls him in and kisses him hard, one hand snaking into his sandy coloured hair, the other squeezing his hand tightly, just to make sure that he'll never let go. The kiss says everything that she can't put into words; how much he means to her, how much she wishes she could freeze time, even for a moment, because that would be one more moment she could spend in his arms. The way her shirt is bunched into his fist that rests against her hip tells her that he understands perfectly.
They break apart and he takes her hand and leads her to the field where their horses are grazing, but they don't go over to them just yet. They stand there, fingers entangled, waiting for the silent melody that reaches out between their hearts to play out its last chords.
"Please don't leave me," he sighs, and she realises he doesn't mean literally.
"I'm not going anywhere," she replies truthfully, because how could she ever?
He lays her down on the soft grass and she falls into a place that was only meant for Just Miley, where no amount of Hannah can reach her, to get inside her mind and make her feel like the blonde girl is the only part of her worth something. But as she looks up into his eyes as he whispers of love and promises, she knows that's never been true.
She reaches up and runs her fingers lightly over his bare collarbone, murmuring small words of thanks. He kisses her cheek softly because he knows exactly what she means, and they never want this connection to end, even though inevitably it must. It may not be forever, but it's now and it's all they can hope for.
xxxx
She hops off the plane at LAX and she tries to recall the feeling of the first time she came out onto the hot tarmac of the parking lot, shimmering in the heat, with her whole future laid out in front of her underneath that wig. She remembers she was so overwhelmed with excitement at the prospect of fitting in with the glamorous faces on the street.
Now she only feels contempt for the platinum blonde and silicone she sees, despises their shallow existences that revolve only around themselves. She glares the thick black SUV's with spinning rims that line the highways, and she doesn't smile as she pulls into the driveway of her house, the one that houses memories of fights and friends and falling in love. But it doesn't feel like her home anymore. This is Just Hannah's home.
When Oliver arrives and takes her to the beach, she can't even bring herself to enjoy that. The sand gets everywhere and she hates the way the saltwater make her hair knot and stick to her face and arms. It's not like the soft soil and fresh water of the pool in Tennessee, where swinging and gliding through the water and the way Travis looked at her made everything feel crisp and new.
Oliver listens with an open mouth as Lilly retells the story of the secret being revealed, complete with wild hand gestures, and he turns to Miley questioningly.
"Are you crazy? You told the whole town? How do you know those country bumpkins can be trusted?" She knows he's only looking out for her but she swells with resentment anyway.
He cowers under her unwavering stare. "Because that's my home, Oliver. Those country bumpkins are my family."
Her family stays true to their word. Nobody tells a soul and she gets to keep on living her double life. She finishes her junior year with a smile and an overlooked wave as she's just another regular girl who's moving on to her last year of high school. The next day she starts her nationwide summer tour, performing to thousands of people, and as she's up there on that stage in her shiny outfit and wide smile, she's anything but regular.
She gets all the special treatments, the free gifts, all the perks that coming with living the good life, but the excessive materialism is all becoming a bit much. She can feel herself again becoming everything she was never meant to stand for.
This is the kind of life Just Hannah would have. The kind of life Just Miley would have is 2000 miles behind her. But there couldn't be one without the other, and she chose this life, the life of two lives. She couldn't count the number of people she would let down if she threw away Hannah. But she could only count one who would be let down if she didn't.
Were all her fans broken hearts worth more than the single one of the farm boy she had fallen for back home?
She can feel them flaking, coming apart, like the sunburn that's peeling from her nose. There's something that lies unspoken under the surface of all the pretty words they say to each other on the phone each night. Some people promise that if they love one other enough, they can make a long distance relationship work.
Those people are don't know what it's like, that aching hole inside of you, when you feel so alone that you curl up into your doona at night and wish that you could feel the soft warm breath of the voice coming out of your cell phone speaker against your ear and you wish you could just touch him, see him, look into his eyes to make sure that he was telling the truth, that he loved you and he wanted to be with you no matter what.
Until one day she told him that she couldn't spend a week with him in Tennessee liked they'd planned. Her tour manager had scheduled some extra dates for her sold out New York concerts, but had somewhat thoughtfully made up for it by sending Travis a backstage pass for her first show at Madison Square Gardens.
"I don't know if I can come, Miley. I have a regular job, you know, something that regular people do?" He couldn't disguise the hurt in his voice and she hated herself for doing this to him.
So after a few more sarcastic comments from either side, she gathered the courage to say what she really did not want to say.
"Maybe this isn't going to work out."
There's silence on the other end of the line.
"I mean, this situation isn't going to get better."
Still nothing.
"Travis? You still there?"
"Yeah, I'm here. I just… I don't understand."
She sighs. "You just said it. You're a regular person. I'm freaking Hannah Montana. How are we meant to go together?"
"You're not Hannah to me!" he protests. "I'm in love with Miley!"
"I know," she's fighting back the tears, wishing this wasn't happening, that she wasn't living out this situation that she'd only imagined in her worst case scenarios. "But Miley is Hannah. We're a package deal. Don't you appreciate how demanding my life is?"
"The life that you chose," he retorts sulkily.
"The life that I live," is her quiet reply.
Neither of them says anything for a full minute.
"I'm sorry Miley," he breaks the silence first. "I'm being unfair."
"Yes, you are," she agrees. "But I'm being unfair too, asking so much of you. We expect all these things from each other that we just can't give. This isn't how a relationship should be."
"But I still love you," the momentous words emanate from the phone and she can feel the cracks appearing in her heart.
"I know you do," she bites her lip. "I love you too. But it's not the same as when it was just me and you together. Now we're miles apart and I feel like when I try and recapture the feeling of being with you, I'm simply reaching into nothingness."
"Like no matter how far you reach, you're never going to touch it," in an instant he has understood how to describe the same emotions coursing through his veins.
She wipes at the tears streaming down her face as she realises this is it, this is goodbye. "I'll miss you."
"It's not forever," his tone is gentle and she can't imagine never seeing him again. "It's just for now. Bye Miley"
She wants to say something more, something meaningful for some sort of closure, but the only sound she can hear is the dial tone.
On the night of her show in New York, the backstage pass she sent him turns up in the hands of a delighted blonde girl she recognises from the Crowley Corners fundraiser concert. Taylor tells her that she's sorry to hear about her and Travis, as she wraps her arms around Hannah's spangled shoulders in what she thought would be a comforting hug.
"And he knew how much I wanted to see a real live Hannah Montana stadium concert, so he gave it to me," she continues brightly, before casting a furtive glance at the people around them and leans in to whisper, "and you did a great job, Miley."
"Thanks," is the only reply she can force out, but some teeth appear through a tight lipped smile that has been glued on for days.
Something that feels like relief combined with gratitude floods through her as she realises someone has congratulated her on her performance, not Hannah. Someone knows the real girl underneath the wig and they are damn proud of her. She'd forgotten how much she takes her family and the people who love Just Miley for granted, as the people who only love Just Hannah take her for granted, and she wonders how much longer she'll be able to hold up as the duo before she truly cracks.
Taylor reaches out and squeezes her hand, accompanied with an encouraging smile, and then she remembers that she's not as alone in this Hannah world as she thought.
Just something short to try writing Miley as the main focus. I usually don't because her character annoys me so much, but she was so good in the movie, which I only just got around to watching.
LOL the best bit was after the kiss and that old guy goes "Right on!" Bahahaha WTF.
Anyway, feedback is always appreciated :)