Disclaimer: Not mine, as you can probably see. Otherwise, Sasuke and Kakashi or Sasuke and Naruto would be together, and Sakura would be best friends with Ino again.
A/N: First Naruto story... Or, the first one I post, rather. I'm also writing a slash story at the time being, so...
I used to play with dolls when I was a kid
I used to play with dolls when I was a child. I always invented new games and dressed them in different clothes. My favourite doll was one with big, blue, shiny eyes and long, blonde curls. Some of the curls fell over her shoulders, and those were the ones that were cut shorter than the rest, which reached to the bottom of her back.
I loved that blonde hair.
Sometimes, I made her wear a long, pink dress, one every girl would dream of. It had everything: sparkles, knots, buttons, sleeves, darker and brighter shades of red. It was a dress a princess would wear on a ball.
She has never danced with a prince, though.
Other times, she wore a loose, blue suit. It was a uniform, in which I pretended to let her go to school, just like me. There was a white t-shirt under the light, blue vest, and the skirt was dark blue. Under that, she had white socks to her knees and black sandals. The suit was completed with a tie.
An indigo one.
The doll had belonged to my mum, long ago, until she was too old to play with it, just like me now. She had told me her attention fell on her in the shop because of the expression in those blue eyes. A beautiful expression. A bit questioning, as if the doll wanted to know how the real world looked like. A tad melancholic, because she didn't know anything else than the safety of the shop. But she was tucked carefree in her little world.
Later that became my little world.
Now I'm not a child anymore. I'm almost a grown-up. I'm twelve years old now, and tomorrow, on the twenty-eight of March, it's my birthday. I'll be thirteen then. From that day on, it will be exactly four years ago that I've been aging with two ciphers instead of one. And only one of those ciphers will change for another six years, eleven months and thirty-one days. Then I'll become twenty.
But my doll will never age.
My mum says I resemble a lot on my doll. Not from looks, because my hair is shorter and pink and my eyes are green, but from the inside. I told her that was nonsense. My doll didn't have a real inside like humans. She was stuffed and sewed together with a tiny piece of thread. She smiled at me when I said that, I think. And she answered that my expression resembled hers a lot.
Only now I get what she meant back then.
My doll is broken now. She fell down the stairs, exactly nine months and seven days ago. I didn't cry because I didn't care. Or at least, I thought I didn't care. One of the blue eyes was disappeared in the small, porcelain head. In the other, there was a crack. Right from her iris to her mouth. Her beautiful, full, red smile was reduced to a grimace. I put her into a chest to never have to look back at her again, though she had served me many years of pleasure.
I guess I've grown too old for children's games now.
Right now, I'm busy dealing with other feelings. Like my feelings for Sasuke-kun, for example. I think I love him. The problem is that I'm not sure if I think that, or if I know that. Only his looks make me want to drool all over him. His raven hair, his dark eyes, the emotion hidden in them… And his unreadable mind, actions and thoughts that always manage to catch me by surprise. Like that time he just abandoned all of us.
And then there is Naruto.
His spiky, yellow hair, big mouth and always wide open, happy eyes make me want to throw up. Or at least, I always tell him that. Really, I'm not that disgusted with him. I'm even starting to like him now Sasuke-kun isn't around anymore. It's just… He used to ruin everything.
Just like I used to play with dolls.
Perhaps we have all changed in a way. I've grown less attached and dependent on others. I even can handle most of the difficult situations I'm put through as a ninja on my own. Naruto is… Well, perhaps Naruto hasn't changed that much. He pretty much stayed the same, old Naruto I used to know. Perhaps that's a good thing. Sasuke-kun has chosen his own way now. It's a dark road full of mysteries and danger, but I know he'll get through it.
Just like I know he will never hurt me, like I never hurt my dolls. Never?
Sometimes, I want us three to be together again like the team we once were. With Kakashi-sensei ruffling through Sasuke-kun's hair and Naruto smiling grim when he notices I am not looking at him at all. Sometimes, I want my doll had never fallen down the stairs. Because the day she fell down and got broken, is the exact data on which Sasuke-kun left us. The same day on which my expression cracked too.
Our characters have changed a lot since then. And some things should never have changed.
I think I know now what I want for my birthday tomorrow. I don't need any expensive presents, like a fancy, pink dress with sparkles and knots and buttons and sleeves. I don't need jewels or shoes. I'm just going to ask mum to take me to the shop where she bought that blonde doll, long ago.
Perhaps the store-keeper can mend her. Because some things should never change.