Author's Note: Since I am making so little forward progress on my larger Bespin story (which I swear, I'm going to finish one of these day), I thought I'd pick out another of the random conversations that stands alone and doesn't really belong to my overall narrative version of the story.
Hope you like it.
You know, and I know: they all belong to George.
Update Feb 2013 - Just cleaning up a few typos and such I spotted recently. And I guess they all belong to Disney now, eh?
Family Ties
Leia Organa put down the hand of cards she was holding, staring across the table at Chewbacca with utter surprise. Disbelievingly, she asked, "Chewie, you really have a wife, and a cub?"
She had known for some time that Chewie had a wife back home on Kashyyyk, but she didn't recall anyone ever mentioning a son. It caught her off guard. What else didn't she know about these two smugglers?
["Of course, Princess. My son is nearly ten years old now and will soon be old enough to hunt alone. Surely I have mentioned him to you before this?"]
"I'm sure I'd have remembered that, Chewie!" She drew her legs up underneath her and leaned her elbows on the table. "Tell me about him, now!"
The Wookiee obligingly began to detail how he had departed from Kashyyyk shortly after his marriage to Mallatobuk and how surprised he, himself, had been, to find he was a father when he returned again for a visit nearly a year later.
The third player in the game of sabacc, slouched deep in his own corner of the booth, gave a bored grunt and nudged another credit chip into the pot. "You in, or out, fuzzball?"
["Out,"] Chewie said, firmly, pushing his hand into the center of the table, face down, without pausing in his story.
"Thought so." Han looked around the circle. "What about you, Goldnenrod?"
"What about me, sir?" asked the protocol droid, nervously.
Solo took a deep breath and elaborated, patiently, "Are you staying in, or are you dropping out of the hand?"
"Han!" The princess glared at him. "Chewie and I are talking, will you hush about the cards for a moment?"
"What?" Han looked around at the other three, in disgust. "We're playin' a game here, people. Talk later. Bet now." He tapped the center of the table impatiently, gesturing at the Princess's stack of chips. "Bid's seventy-five, sweetheart. You in or out?"
Leia's dark eyes narrowed. "In." With two fingers, she thrust a group of chips foward. "I see your seventy-five," she said, coolly, without consulting the cards she'd turned, face down, in front of her. "And I'll bet triple that," she went on, sweeping another stack of credit chips into the pot, "that you're bluffing." She sat back with a smug look. "Your bid."
Chewbacca let out a raucous chuckle and Solo gave him a dark glare that did nothing to stifle the Wookiee's amusement.
"I haven't seventy five credits remaining, sir, let alone two-hundred twenty-five, so I believe I must decline this bet." Threepio turned over his hand with an almost-human electronic sigh. "I've never been any good at this foolish game." He turned, stiffly, to the Princess. "If you don't mind, your Highness, I would like to retire to the lower hold and soak my lower extremities in the oil bath."
"That's fine, Threepio," she replied, her gaze fixed across the table at the Captain. "Come on, Solo. Ante up."
Han met her stare and pushed the remainder of his own stack of chips into the center of the table. "Fine. I see your two twenty five. And I'll go four hundred and... " his eyes flckered down a moment, and he counted under his breath. "Four eighty-three, " he finished, "to show you I ain't bluffin'."
She opened her mouth to point out that she didn't have enough left to meet his bet, when the Wookiee silently pushed the exact amount she needed across the table to her. "Call." she stated, her mouth dry, pushing his chips into the center with her own.
Han nodded at his partner and then at the Princess, "Your loss, guys." Turning over his cards in one smooth move, he crowed, "Pure sabacc. That's the pot and the game." One hand outstreched, he made a motion to sweep the full stack of chips toward himself.
Leia let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding and wordlessly caught his forearm with a slender hand, as she turned over her own cards. The Wookiee's triumphant thump across her back nearly knocked her headfirst into the table. She held the only hand that could have beaten Solo's: an Idiot's Array.
"Pot and game, indeed," she agreed, when she could speak again, "to me. "
Solo's face ran a gamut of emotions in several seconds, and settled at last on a crooked grin. He lifted her cool fingers to his lips. "Good girl." She flushed at this unexpected bit of praise and he added, turning his head to press a kiss against the racing pulse in her wrist, "Nice to see you've been paying attention." His eyes sparkled with mischief. "Maybe next time we should play for higher stakes."
She pursed her lips, pretending to think it over. "We'll see about that." Turning to the Wookiee, who was still shaking with supressed laughter, she asked, more soberly, "Now, Chewie, tell me about this son of yours."
["I was about to tell you, a moment ago, how surprised I was to find myself a father,"] he began, when Solo interrupted again. This time his expression was almost wistful as he spoke to his partner.
"I don't think I'll ever forget it," the Corellian sighed. "When Malla brought out that bundle of fur, I thought you were gonna pass out right there."
["Like a child's toy, he was,"] the Wookiee growled softly. ["too small to be real."]
"This one, " Han gestured fondly at his friend, "had no clue - a baby was the last thing he was expecting to find."
["The whole clan kept it a surprise for my return,"] Chewbacca agreed. ["Not a one let me suspect that they knew."]
Leia looked back and forth between the two smugglers, amused at this show of sentiment. "You miss them."
["I do,"] Chewie nodded. ["every day. But my debt to Captain Solo takes precedence. Had he not saved my life all those years ago, Mallatobuck would have no mate, no son."]
Leia shook her head, unable to accept this notion, and she found Solo grinning at her. "I don't pretend to understand it either, sweetheart. I've been trying to talk him out of this life debt thing for thirteen years. He don't listen."
["How many times dead would you be, Solo, were it not for me?"]
"Oh, I dunno," Han joked, carelessly, "Three? Four?" The Wookie frowned and Han grinned across the table at the Princess again. "I could only have died once, Chewie."
["It cost you your career."]
"Ah, hell." Solo brushed this off. "If it hadn't been you, it woulda been somethin' else. And it's for the best, anyway. You know I wasn't cut out to be a mass murderer."
Solo's tone was light but Leia was surprised and touched at the bitterness she heard below his words. Trying to ease the tension that suddenly settled over them, she asked, quickly, "Chewie, do you have holos of them?"
["Of course, Princess."] The Wookiee immediately lumbered to his feet and headed for his cabin.
Solo rolled his eyes. "Now you've done it," he muttered. "We'll be looking at holos for hours."
Leia swatted at his arm.
The cub, whom Han referred to as "Lumpy," was indeed, adorable as a child's toy. And even in the grainy holos, Leia could see the love and pride in Malla's eyes as she gazed at her mate.
"They must miss you, so..." Leia spoke out loud, as she tried to put herself in Malla's place. Her heart ached for the son, separated from his father, the wife separated from her mate. "It must be difficult for her, to be always alone."
This made no sense to Chewie. ["She is not alone, Princess. She is surrounded by family and friends who support her and our cub."]
Leia didn't quite know how to explain without making it sound as if she were suggesting that he was doing something wrong. "I just meant... that it must be difficult for her, always waiting and never knowing when, or if, you'll be coming home. Not having anyone to share her cub's growing up with. And the life you two lead, she must worry so."
["Certainly, she worries about me, and I about her. I do not know how she and the cub are faring, and what danger they may be facing."]
"Is it worth it, Chewie?" she asked, softly. "Your time together?" The Wookie cocked his head, clearly not understanding her question. Once again, she tried to put into words an idea that had only just occurred to her. Their time together was so brief - did those few moments make up for the years apart? Was it possible Malla knew something she didn't? "All the time apart, all the worry... when you're together, does it make up for all the pain?"
["Of course it does, Princess."] He finished with a soft growl that Leia could not translate, and she looked expectantly at Han.
Solo didn't meet her eyes. "Some Wookiee proverb he's forever quoting," he said, gruffly, "about the farthest branches yielding the best fruit."
Leia wasn't fooled by his indifferent tone. Nor was she unaffected by the quotation. She found herself smiling at the memory it triggered. "Bail was fond of saying that the things that truly matter are never easy."
["Your father was a wise man, I think."]
"Yes, he was, Chewie." Leia smiled again. "I didn't always appreciate his sayings, but I clearly took them to heart." Han stole a glance at the Princess as she spoke to his friend, and he saw her blink away a tear. Acting on impulse, he reached over and took her hand. She wound her fingers tightly with his for a moment, acknowledging the gesture. Then she rose to her feet. "Who wants to help with these dishes?" she asked, smiling down at the two smugglers.
Leia was slipping the dishes and glassware into the cleaning unit in the galley, when a growl from the doorway made her look up. The Wookiee's large frame filled the small opening, and he looked down at her with concern.
["Are you all right, little one?"]
"I'm fine."
["You seemed disturbed by our conversation and you left rather abruptly. I did not mean to upset you."]
"You didn't." she looked up at last. "You made me realize something tonight, and I'm feeling rather foolish for not seeing it sooner."
["What's that?"]
"That we have to be willing to lose the things we love. Or we haven't really loved them."
The Wookiee cocked his head, puzzled. ["I wouldn't think you needed me to show you that, Princess. It sounded like your father taught you that long ago."]
"You're right, Chewie. He did." She gave a wry laugh. "You just reminded me."
["You're sure you're all right?"]
"I'm fine. Thank you, Chewie. I hope... I hope I have a chance to meet your wife some day."
["That would be good indeed, Princess. I think you two would like one another."] It would be good, he thought, because if they took the Princess to Kashyyyk, it would mean that Solo had come to his senses.
Leia smiled. "I suspect you're right about that."
["Good night, then."]
"Night, Chewie."
The cockpit lights were low, and Solo sat slouched in his chair, staring out the viewport, when a mug of hot kaffee was unexpectedly pressed into his hand. Leia Organa stood behind his chair, watching him quietly.
"I... thought you might want some kaffe," she said at last.
"Thanks." He saw she had another mug in her hand and waved at the navigator's chair beside her. "You staying?" She nodded, and curled into the chair, tucking her legs under her as she sipped at her kaf.
Why did he think he was about to get a scolding? She'd been very quiet at dinner, and it had been obvious that the conversation about Chewie's family had affected her.
She looked up, caught him staring, and a flush rose to her cheeks. He braced himself for the outburst, but it never came. Instead she looked back down at her mug, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.
"Chewie thinks I should meet his wife someday."
Solo gave an amused grin. "You should. You'd probably like her."
"That's what he said."
"He tell you Malla once tried to strangle me?"
"Sounds like my kind of woman," Leia replied, straight faced. "What'd you do to deserve that?"
"Well, you know," he drawled. "I often have that effect on women."
"You do indeed." They exchanged a smile. "Seriously," she added, a note of curiousity in her voice now. "What'd you do?"
He took a long drink of kaffee and stared at her over the rim of the mug. "Insulted her mate's honor." She raised an eyebrow. "I told Chewie his life debt was paid, he should quit following me around and stay there with her."
"And?"
"And, what? Chewie had to explain to her that I hadn't meant it as an insult."
Leia frowned. "She wanted him to go?"
"She didn't want him to stay if it cost him his honor."
The Princess was silent for a long time, and then, looking down at the kaffee mug in her hands, she said, very softly, "He said he hasn't been home in three years."
"No, he hasn't." Han sighed. "I keep saying we'll go but something always comes up."
"Something for the Alliance, you mean?"
He looked uncomfortable. "The last couple of years, yeah."
"I don't think I could live like that, Han."
"Like what?"
"Seeing her mate every couple of years at best? Raising her child alone?"
"Couple years is nothing. She waited fifty years for him to come home and marry her." Her jaw dropped and he laughed at her amazement. "Wookiees live a long time. Chewie's three hundred and..." he paused, thoughtfully, and then shrugged, realizing he couldn't actually recall his partner's age. "I dunno, three hundred and somethin', anyway. A couple of years is a lot more to us than it is to them, Leia."
"I know. but still..."
He leaned back, propping his feet on the console. "C'mon, Princess. Spill. What's really bothering you?"
She blew out a long sigh. "How different are you and Chewie?"
"Huh?"
"Could you live the way he does?"
"'course I could. I do, don't I?"
"No," she protested, patiently, "You don't live the way he does, Han. You don't have a wife and a son you haven't seen in three years."
He frowned. "No, I don't. But I'm not forcing him to live like that. Nobody's stopping him from going home, anytime he wants."
"You are what's stopping him from going home, whether you mean to or not. Don't pretend otherwise."
"Leia, you don't understand. I could order him to go, but she wouldn't want him to come home on those terms. And I wouldn't do that to him."
"That's not my point."
Han threw up his arms in frustration. "Well, what is your point?"
"My point," she said, softly, "is that it's his choice."
"Isn't that what I just said?"
"Is it your choice?"
Abruptly he saw where she was going with this and he sat up, his boots hitting the deck with a thump. "Don't put words in my mouth, Princess."
"I'm not. I want to know, what do you choose, Han?"
"Right now, I don't have a choice."
His honesty was unexpected and her expression softened. "No," she agreed, sighing. "I guess you don't. But one day you might."
"And one day," he said, very carefully, willing her to understand, "one day, then maybe I can answer your question."
She nodded, slowly. "If things were different..."
"If things were different, Leia, we might never have met." Her chin dropped to her chest, and he saw her lip was trembling. "I'm sorry, sweetheart," he added in a gentler tone, "but if you want the truth, you can't get mad at me for being honest."
"Why not?" she asked, with a sniff, and a tentative smile.
"Well, you can... but it isn't all that productive."
"I know."
"Huh?"
"I'm sorry, too. It's been selfish of me to be angry at you for saying what we both know is true."
He was speechless, and she went on, the words spilling from her in a rush. "I know why you have to go, and I know you're right, and it doesn't matter. I just want to grab at what we have and hold on as tight as I can. But..." she broke off and looked away.
"We have something?" A crooked grin flashed, briefly, across his face, and then he sobered. "Seriously, Leia. What do we have?"
"I don't know, Han! I just... it's too late to pretend there isn't something between us."
He set his mug down on the console behind him. "Is that what you've been doing?"
"Maybe. I don't know what we have. But I know I don't want you to go."
He realized that it was the first time she'd actually said she wanted him to stay. It was always, "We need you." He was so surprised by this that he repeated her words, incredulous. "You? You don't want me to go?"
She closed her eyes, her answer barely a whisper. "Me."
He had to know, and so he pressed on."The Alliance doesn't need me?" A single shake of her head, left to right. "You?"
She nodded. "Me. Leia Organa. I want you to stay. I need you in my life, Han."
Well. You asked for it, Solo. What the hell was he supposed to say to that?
"Look, I know," she went on, doggedly, not noticing his expression. "I know, that it doesn't make any difference. You're still going to go."
"Yeah, it does make a difference," he replied, gruffly. "It makes all the difference in the universe." She looked up suddenly, in surprise, catching his tone. "I can't stay, Leia. And I can't say what's going to happen with Jabba. Or what might happen later. But..." he broke off, unable to finish.
"I know," she lifted her head to meet his gaze. "That's what Chewie made me see tonight. I can't stop you from leaving. And even if things were settled with Jabba, I couldn't make you stay. Not any more than Malla could keep Chewie there, with her and her son. But she hasn't lost him. And just because you're leaving..." she closed her eyes, took a deep breath before continuing. "That doesn't mean I'm going to lose you."
He thought about this for a moment and thought he understood what she was saying. "No, sweetheart," he agreed, "You aren't. Not if I have anything to say about it."
She bit her lip and found herself blinking back a sudden rush of tears. She was not going to cry in front of him.
"Hey," he said, softly, reaching over to brush the corner of her eye with his thumb. "Don't do that, huh?"
She turned her face and whispered against his palm, "You do what you have to do... and you come back, do you hear me, Solo?"
"I'll try, honey."
She spun her chair, abruptly, turning away from him, and her shoulders shook.
"Leia?" His voice was a low rumble. He touched her hair, gently, and she stiffened, but didn't pull away.
"If you go away and never come back, it's going to hurt, and I can't change that. What I can do," she looked up into his eyes, "is stop making you feel guilty for going, and just enjoy the time we have together. And maybe... maybe you'll come back and then there'll be time for... for choices."
"Who are you, woman?" He pretended to look around her. "And what have you done with Leia Organa?" She giggled. "I like it," he said, at last. "C'mere."
He tugged her toward him, and drew her onto his lap. She held on tightly, pressing her face against his collarbone, and murmurred something unintelligible into his shirt. "Shhhh..." he said, into her hair, stroking her back gently. "Shhhh."
For a long while they sat there, in silence.
She turned her head, very slightly, and rubbed her cheek against his shirt. Her voice was very soft. "Can we see Bespin yet?"
He was caught off guard. "Hmmmm?"
She looked up and met his eyes. "Bespin? Can we see it yet?"
"Yeah," he nodded, catching her chin in his hand and directing her gaze. "Starboard, about 20 degrees, north, north east. Very faint. A cluster, not a point." She looked where he indicated and he reached around her to nudge a lever and bring up the display from the navi console. A star map appeared on the screen, their destination highlighed. She matched the display to the starfield outside and sighed.
"A few more days?"
"Three, maybe four."
"Where's Sullest?"
"Bit farther. I think it's past the horizon right now. Take us a couple of hours, from Bespin, once we have the hyperdrive back up."
"And Tatooine?"
"Other direction. Too distant to see it, even if you went up in the turret." He chuckled at a memory. "You know how the kid always says - if there's a bright center of the galaxy, Tatooine's as far away from it as you can get?" She nodded, having heard this speech from Luke more than once. "Well," Solo sighed, "He's got that part right."
She was silent again, for a very long time. "You'll be careful, won't you?"
"I always am, sweetheart."
"No," she smiled, brushing his lips with her own. "You aren't. That's what worries me."
He grinned back at her. "Show some faith, Princess."
"Be serious, Han. Just for a moment."
"I am serious, sweetheart. Just... just trust me, all right? I'll figure something out."
"You always do," she smiled, weakly.
"Yeah," he kissed the top of her head, gently. "I do."
"Please come back," she said, very softly. "Please?"
"Will you make it worth my while?"
She nodded, with a faint smile. "Trust me."