Quitting

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One day, Usagi developed a cough.

It was subtle at first, a light tickle that made him annoyingly clear his throat. Barely noticeable, really. Then, after a few days, it was a raspy, constant sound. A reflex he couldn't stop. It started to hurt when he spoke.

By day five, Misaki took him promptly to the doctor, his face all angry eyebrows and worried mouth. He held onto Usagi's arm as they waited for the nurse's arrival, his grip betraying his concern for the older man, foot tapping anxiously on the tile floor.

After the usual routine of saying "Ah" and checking his vitals, the doctor told them the diagnosis was fairly simple. Usagi-san showed no signs of illness in any other way besides the cough, and he recognized the tell-tale side effects of cigarette smoke. "If he continues to smoke as he does," the doctor explained, "Usami-san's health will only deteriorate more, leading to potentially dangerous results." Misaki's face grew blank as he turned his head down, the brown bangs hiding whatever emotions he was struggling through.

Usagi sighed, knowing that the day had finally come. He was going to have to give up cigarettes.

It wasn't that he even liked them that much, if he was being honest. It became a habit after years and years of stressful writing sessions, endless events and parties. They were almost an accessory to his daily life, like a morning cup of coffee. But now, they were making him sick. And not only that, his smoking was causing Misaki to have such a pained look in his eyes.

The drive home was quiet, the silence only broken by the occasional cough from Usagi that seemed to punctuate the awkward tension between them. Misaki was clearly upset. He watched the brunette out of the corner of his eye, wishing he could undo the damage. Usagi looked forward resolutely as he drove, knowing deep down that giving up smoking was not just a good idea for his health, it was imperative for his relationship with the young man.

The high-rise was dark as they both stood just inside the foyer. Neither of them seemed ready to move forward.

"Misaki." Usagi tried to break the silence.

He didn't respond, though he flinched visibly at the sound of his name. His head still remained bowed low, his shoulders hunched and shaking. Was he…crying?

Usagi took a step forward, the pain in his throat not nearly as bad as the pain in his heart. Why had he never considered the effect his smoking would have on Misaki?

The silver-haired novelist reached out to place an unsure hand on Misaki's shoulder. Anger, sadness, frustration. He would accept all of it. He had been selfish in his habits over the years, and now he was paying the price. It was his fault after all…

"It's my fault!" Misaki's voice suddenly cut through the empty room. Usagi's violet eyes went wide. Where did that come from? Wasn't that supposed to be his line?

"Wait a minute, Misaki…" He pulled the younger man around so they stood face-to-face, both of Usagi's hands now resting on his shoulders. Misaki's head flew up, his brows knitted, tears bubbling in those beautiful green eyes.

Usagi did his best to appear calm, though on the inside he hated himself for putting his most important person into such a state.

The novelist gave a reassuring smile, hoping to relax Misaki with his serene gaze. "What makes you think this is your fault?" he asked softly, his throat still raw.

Misaki shook his head as though to clear his thoughts, stray teardrops flying as he did so. "It is my fault! All this time, I let you smoke whenever you wanted. I could have hid your cigarettes! Or stopped buying them for you! I could have bribed you with sex!" Here, Misaki blushed, but continued. "But I didn't…and now, you've got this cough, and I…" The green eyes disappeared once more beneath brown fringe, Misaki's frame collapsing at the effort of all his yelling.

The author opened his mouth to reply, but the words dried up on his tongue when he heard the young man whisper.

"I don't want to lose you."

Usagi's hands clenched around Misaki's shoulders, and with a quick jerk, he had him securely within his arms. The shorter male tensed up for an instant, but immediately melted into the embrace. Usagi could feel the wet tears seeping into his shirt front, warm and oddly comforting.

"What am I going to do with you?" He murmured, his lips brushing against Misaki's cheek as he spoke.

"But, Usagi-san…"

"No." He said it forcefully, but quietly, his arms pulling tighter around Misaki's smaller frame. "It was my choice to smoke. And now, I realize, it was the wrong one. For the longest time, I was alone. I didn't have anyone to yell at me, or surprise me, or love me. No one I was beholden to."

Usagi pulled back just far enough and tilted Misaki's head up with a tender hand on his chin. Their eyes met, and Usagi went on.

"But now I have you. I don't want to do anything to make Misaki sad or angry, and I also don't want to cut short our time together. So, from now on," Usagi paused, leveling Misaki with one of his stern stares that left no room for argument, "I'm done smoking."

Misaki reached out and gripped the front of Usagi's shirt, his fingers trembling. "Really?" He asked in a small voice.

Usagi suppressed another cough and nodded, running his hand through Misaki's brown locks. "Mm. I don't want to lose a single second with you either."

"Usagi-san…" Misaki's look of relief was followed by a steaming blush and nervous eyes that darted left and right. Usagi chuckled to himself, glad to see his younger lover was acting more like his usual self. Wasting no time, he bent forward and captured the young man's lips, enjoying the softness as their bodies came together slowly. Usagi didn't last long due to his pesky throat, but when they broke apart, he was happy to note the dazed and giddy look in Misaki's eyes.

Usagi's smile widened into a mischievous grin.

"But, you know, that thing about bribing me with sex…that wasn't a bad idea."

Misaki fumbled, searching in his mind for an excuse or some way to undo his earlier words.

"Stupid Usagi! Just think about getting better, would you!" He grumbled with his characteristic pout. Usagi could only smile in response, lean forward, and steal another kiss.

Before their lips touched, Usagi whispered, "Thank you for loving me, Misaki."

The silver-haired writer felt the lithe arms snake around his middle and knew that his sweet and caring lover had heard him loud and clear.

A/N: Not sure if there is such a scene in the manga or anime that revolves around Usagi and his smoking habits, but I wanted to do a short little scene of how it might go down if he decided to quit. They need to grow old together, ne?