Disclaimer: I don't own the Tracys, International Rescue, or the Thunderbirds.

A/N: This story just wrote itself. I want to reassure those reading Coping Mechanisms that I'm working on the next update and should have it up before too long. sam1

Who Knew

Memories and haunting dreams are all I have left of the time in my life when I had my brother. I may have three others but they're still with me. The one that was taken from me is the one who haunts me. Or is it more that his death haunts me? Perched on a boulder, I stare out over the sea towards the setting sun. Vibrant colors filled the horizon as the sun sinks lower. I can't help but think that the colors blend in perfectly with one another…Almost like my brothers and I. We're a perfect blend. Well, we were two years ago today.

If anyone would have told me that I would only have you for a little while, I would have fought myself from punching them. My brothers are my everything. They are the ones I would sacrifice myself to protect. Except I couldn't protect one of them and it's his memory I'll cherish until my dying day. His cheekiness and compassion are things I miss most. No, I miss all of him because he was part of a perfect complement…A Tracy brother through and through.

I close my eyes and think back to the day you grabbed my finger in your tiny hand and just like that you held my heart. I ignore the tears that trickle down my cheeks until they're a steady stream. I finally realize that what you told me was true. You said that you'd never leave me or our brothers. You said that you'd be here for us forever. Who knew that didn't mean you'd be here physically but only as a memory? A gentle breeze teasing our hair. A random wave dunking us as we swim in the ocean. A small smile tugs at my mouth at that one because you most certainly loved dunking us…me especially as I think you saw me as a challenge.

Who knew that I'd have to say good-bye to you so soon? Who knew the guilt and uncertainty I'd carry because I didn't tell you that I loved you before you left? I knew the risks on rescues but what took you from me wasn't a rescue. No amount of safety precautions could have saved you.

I remember all the times I called you my best friend. I never knew just how you managed to get me to trust you after Mom died. I was so afraid of opening up myself to that kind of hurt again. But you knew and before I knew it, you had worked past my defenses. I think I would have done it again had it not been for our brothers seeing what I was doing. It was almost as if you were there, telling them not to let me fall.

Looking down at the sand, the word I'd written slowly washes away. A seagull sets down right at the base of the letters and oddly enough seems to stare at the words. My gaze stays focused on it as another wave washes away more of the letters and the gull takes flight. My red-rimmed eyes follow its movement as it flies towards the fire red orb sinking into the ocean. With a sigh, I look back down at the letters and see that they're gone…Swept away. It was then that I realize that I don't feel as much guilt. The sense of loss was there but I know that we'll meet again someday. That you'll come for me just as I would have come for you if our roles had been reversed.

"I miss you, little brother, and not a day goes by that I don't think of you." A gentle breeze ruffles my hair. "Stop messing with my hair, kiddo." A loud voice from the pool deck catches my attention and I look up to see my brothers. I know that if they get down here to check on me, I won't be able to do something that I need to. I take a deep breath and gently exhale. Damn, it's hard being a stubborn Tracy. Again, I take a deep breath and open my mouth. The breeze dies down and I know you're waiting. Who knew how hard I would find this one little thing to be? But I don't want to lose this chance to say what I should have said before you were taken from me. "I love you, little brother. Thanks for listening." A stronger breeze kicks up and my hair is blown all over the place. "Okay, I know but I had to say it."

My brothers reach me and in turn the breeze teases their hair. Small smiles tug at their mouths as if they're thinking what I've been thinking all along. Even with one of us physically taken from us, nothing can separate us. That connection is forever.

A/N: November 24th marks the second anniversary of Lissysue85's death. Some of you may remember that she had adopted me as her big sister and I was thrilled to have such a wonderful little sister. Her death rocked my world and even now still haunts me. Lissysue, you'll be loved forever by those who knew you. Drew, Angel-Sue76, Little Miss Bump, and Kit, she's watching over us still. When it's our time, she'll come for us. sam1