This is a slight variation on one of my personal poems and a late night idea that wouldn't let me sleep. Please R&R since this is very new to me and slightly terrifying.

I wish you could have seen my face when they said I still made honor roll this year

You would've been proud

I bet you would have smiled too

I wish you were here with me

The stage feels empty when I'm all by myself

I wish you could hold me at night when we are alone and tell me how everything will be okay

I wish you could hold my shaking hand through thick and thin

I wish you could hear me say how much I love and appreciate you even if it's only when we are alone

I wonder if you're blue eyes would have calmed me down no matter what

Or if you could be the voice that I seemed to have lost over the years?

Would your hair have a crazy curl like mine?

Would you be the academic mastermind or the creative editor who always knows the right words?

I bet you would crack the code to my mind and understand me and my oddities

I wish we were closer

I wish I could cry to you rather than my lonely room

I wish you were warm and hopeful and brave and strong and my hero

But most of all

I wish you were here with me now

Alive

My dear older brother who I never met

Maybe one day the sky won't be between us anymore

And I'll see how warm you really are

Matthew sighed and slowly closed his poetry notebook. The sounds of another fight starting downstairs drew his attention away only for a moment, but he soon lost interest. Arthur and Francis were always arguing about something nowadays, especially after he asked about the bright blue eyed boy in a photo that was in Arthur's wallet. He never got a name for the boy, but he knew they had to be related. He needed them to be related at this point. Any hope that someone out there could hear his thoughts was enough to keep him sane. The Canadian slid the notebook under his pillow and gazed out the rain streaked window waiting for his mind to slip into its usual daydreams. He imagined that the two of them would be close, maybe even fly away from here. Matthew assumed his older brother would like planes as much as he did, maybe more.

"Ha, maybe we could play the twin game and mess with people's heads. Or even just play games together." Matthew chuckled to himself sadly before brushing his bangs out of his face and laying back on his bed. Praying that maybe his older brother would see him in his dreams just like in those Hollywood movies, but before sleep could claim him one last thought came into his head.

"I can't just call you brother in my dreams, I need to name you. I'll name you Alfred. Yeah, Alfred F. Jones, sounds like a hero name to me."