Chapter one: The city of Maxville
Hi! This is the first chapter in the story 'Spinsterness at the age of 17' and I hope you like it. If the main character resembles Taylor form Cadwell's story it's because they are both some what based on me… HiHi. Well, read and review please and I don't own the concept of Sky High.
The city of Maxville!
Hmm, it might be wrong to start this story with the Power Puff girls' introduction, but knowing the fact that the Power Puff girls are superheroes it might not be so mental after all. Though I rather doubt that you'll find the Power Puff girls and their little squared house with oval windows on it in my street, there are plenty of other superheroes around. Even though none of them are wearing 2 inches short dresses and tiny ballet shoes… At least not in public… Thank God…
Nope, but superheroes, as I said, we have. LODES of, and I include myself, as I so often do, as a part of that group. Batman don't live here though, neither does Spiderman nor Wonderwoman… Just a lot of wannabe's. (And I don't include myself in that group).
Yes, I left out Superman, I know you noticed. And I'll love to tell you why! Gather around kiddies!
Well, I sorta, kinda have a thing for Clark Kent. So I don't want to assure myself (yet) that he doesn't exist. But in my head, any boy can be my Superman as long as I'm in love with him. Because I know that I can't have the real Clark Kent (thanks to that slutty Louise Lane) so I'm gona have to find myself a lookalike, or a almost-as-good-as-Clark-Kent guy which (with a hand on my heart) I haven't been able to do in the past six years.
No one is good enough for Lenore Bishop! But as the horrible thought of being a virgin for ever appeared in my head another came to replace it rather soon. Nicer thoughts like if there is any room for my hand down Superman's "pants" with all the other… Equipment already down there.
I watched Nadia slice her toast in to choke free pieces as I daydreamed about removing those tight fitting briefs with my teeth, a fantasy I had gotten rather fond of during the years. (Yes, I've been a pervert for years, imagine that!)
I leaned my head on my fists dreamily, smiling as Nadia shoved the tiniest bit of mashed toast in to her mouth wearily and swallowing before the food could hit her sensitive teeth.
"It's been three weeks, Nadia, get a grip!" said Mary annoyed as Nadia took a large gulp of apple juice. Nadia had just gotten her braches put on to straighten her upper teeth a little. (I say 'just gotten' because she keeps acting like it all happened yesterday. And whining like the dentist tore all the teeth out of her mouth. Which he didn't…)
"It hurts still Mary!" she whined and cut her baby tomato in four. "Tell her Lenny!"
"Hmm?" I questioned rather stupidly. Truth be told, I hadn't paid the slightest bit of attention to their (in my ears) senseless conversation. Interrupting my erotic daydream… They've got nerve that's for sure…
"It hurts for about three weeks after you put it on, doesn't it? That's what you told me!" she said as though listening to me had been a bad idea. Still not completely sure what they were talking about, I decided that it wasn't worthy of my daydreaming time and mumbled something about 'it not being important unless it had something to do with Superman's knickers'.
Mary laughed and assured Nadia that that depended from person to person.
"Oh no." said Nadia and pushed her tray away as to mark that she was full. "I've learned! I'll never trust you again, not after that day! Oh no, I've learned." she repeated and shook her head dramatically, though I could see that she was clearly joking. It all happened on a day quite like this… Even though it wasn't day and it didn't look anything like this either. But anyways; the three of us had decided to go strolling around the woods of our camp three summers ago and Mary got lost (on purpose I assure you) in the woods, leaving Nadia and me behind. And since we had all had the guts to do the 'bloody Mary' thing before we left, Nadia and I were a bit nervous. But who could blame us? I mean, bloody Mary? Never again I tell you!
So of course Mary just had to do a prank on us in the middle on the woods which cost Nadia to change her shorts the minute we got back to our cabins.
"C'mon, it was one time!" she exclaimed. "And you forgave me, didn't you!?"
"Yeah, we forgave you." said Nadia in a yes-we-forgave-you-but-if-you-ever-dare-do-something-like-that-ever-again-we-will-kill-you tone of voice… (Yes, it is possible!)
"After TWO weeks of constant whining." I added and took a resentful slurp of my now dead cold coffee. What I don't sacrifice for a lousy few minutes of daydreaming. Sigh…
"On your side." said Nadia, pointing a finger half covered in butter on her.
"Fine! Don't ever trust me again, see if I care." she said with a little after smile as she watched Nadia licking her finger like a cat.
The break was over and our little flashback was pulled to a holt as every living soul in the cafeteria got up and rushed out the large double doors, which we (thanks to Nadia's complaints about sitting to closely to her ex) were furthers from.
"There's…There's no need… TO PUSH! I yelled the two last words and elbowed a chunky boy in the ribs in an attempt to get out of the overcrowded cafeteria with my arms on each side of me and no broken toes as I was literary carried out of the room and into the hallway by the student mass. All I could see of Mary and Nadia were their wobbling heads in the middle of the ocean of students, one black and one blond. Me myself was pushed to the exact opposite location than my goal and found myself sprinting off to history class in untied All Star shoes.
Pushing the annoying thought that if Superman had been here he could have flown me to class in no time I sped up and made it just in time and got a seat next to Will Stronghold because the one next to Mary was taken.
Yes, I had heard everything about the famous Stronghold, how he saved the school last year and how he got all the sidekicks out of the basement and how his girlfriend (that cow Gwen Grayson) had turned all into babies, and I'm glad he did, don't get me wrong! But he is just not my Superman you know! I've tried to think about him that way but he is just too… Too… Too cute! Like a cookie with too many chocolate chunks in it. Flower Power on the other side of the room could have him.
Oh my God, I make myself sound as though I can just have my pick in boys and they will leave with me like I was a total treat, but I'm NOT. Not, not, not! I let boy's pick ME out, so that I don't have to embarrass myself and spill all my feelings for him over his lap. I've got a huge burn mark from that experience that's for sure. That's why I'll end up an old spinster with 800 cat's plus kittens, which will eventually end up eating me because I can't provide them with food, and because I've never been laid…
Sad future and nothing to look forwards to. Even though it's typically me to over-excaudate everything, like yesterday when I thought my life was over when the local store stopped selling those two and a half inches thick chocolate bars with African coffee beans in the middle. That was tough…
But anyways, my sixteen years of life is by and the beautiful number that is seventeen crosses my way fairly soon, so there is no need to fear spinsterness… Yet.
But speaking of blue spandex, (I know we weren't speaking of blue spandex, but I wanted to chance the subject) I'm aware that regular students pay attention during class but I'm NOT normal and I'm about 70 % sure of what Miss. Snakebite is trying to teach us so there is really no need for me to pay attention!
"And jumping to the conclusion that the Renaissance was more or less a turning point for Superheroes and Hera The Heroine who saved the Scots from…"
Ok, no idea of what we are learning. Mustn't daydream about not paying attention in class. Not nice.
But old Miss. Snakebite hadn't gotten her name simply because she liked snakes, oh no, there are stories that I wouldn't even dear to mention in my head! But back to my point; what if she knew (in some bizarre, crazy way) that I wasn't paying attention and that she just made something up so that I would be confused!
I turned my neck as far back as I could and watched the other students faces to see if I could find any hint of confusion in their eyes, but I didn't! Well, except from that Zack guy who basically looked as though he had just fallen down from mars. Hmm, she must really be teaching us this stuff, I better pay attention the last 15 minutes.
But I mean, hey, we're talking about me here, of course I couldn't pay attention during history because (believe it or not) no one ever does! Not even Ethan, well ok, maybe Ethan, but he's just a freak of nature. I ended up doodling a straw-Superman with gigantic balloon muscles and with his stick hands on his stick hip on top of a mountain. I smiled when I realized how stupid it looked and figured that I might as well draw a talk bubble above his head, and well, I ended up with 'I'll save you from Miss. Snakebite's class Lenore!' sigh, how romantic my stick man was.
Than, in what felt like hours, the bell rang and the half asleep class stirred and broke out of their sleep. I had to laugh when Miss. Weaving (her real name) personally went over to wake up Zack and, like any normal person would have done when a repulsive old dinosaur is two inches from your face, he yelled in shock of finding her so close and… Well, gross, that he jumped sideways off his chair and sprinted towards the exit. And like any normal group of people would have done when standing five foot from a bursting volcano, we ran for our lives and straight in to the gym wardrobes where hot, hottie Coach Boomer stood waiting for us with a cannonball… You naughty boy!
Even though I sorta new that Coach Boomer weren't gona punish us with his great and holy cannonballs (yes that did sound dirty, my intention in life), but a girl can have her fantasies can't she? I mean, it's not like I daydream about Coach Boomer every day! Pfft, pfft, no way! Pfft, pfft…
"Well kids, welcome to hell." said Coach Boomer after he had taken a few steps towards the trembling crowd. Even though this was his regular salute, it still scared the living crap out of some of us but I guess wildly that that is why he does it.
"Today I have decided that the only way to get some bones up your noses is to play a little game called cannonball." he said in his usual military tone of voice and gestured the ball resting on his oh-so-delicious hip. He smirked when he saw the look on our faces and I (being the idiot that I am) had to remark his choice of words when saying that cannonball would help us get bone in our noses when it would probably cause the opposite.
"You Miss. Bishop will shut your yap until I say so!" he bellowed at me, making me momentarily deaf. Thanks a lot, this is the third time this week, one more of those mind-blowing-super-loud-super-sexy screams will probably affect me for ever. Spinster AND deaf, hmm, what a happy combo.
I blinked like crazy for two whole minutes before the annoying piping in my ears disappeared and I realized that I had the gym to myself. The first thought that sprang to my head was that I had been deaf for longer than I thought and that the rest of the students had gone home for the day. But Mary and Nadia wouldn't have just left me here, would they? Hmpf, I bet they did leave me here for the fun of finding me at the exact same location tomorrow. Stupid friends, I'll remember this when I drive past them in the desert and their car broke down, than there will be no helpfulness from my side! Oh no, I'll laugh at you! HA!
But than I realized that I only had half the gym to myself and that the other half was occupied by all the other students. I immediately felt guilty for blaming my friends for something they hadn't done in the first place, but looking at their faces on the other end at the court it looked as though the HAD done something to me and new that I was mad at them. Complicated I know and God knows why they look all guilty, I mean all they're doing is holding a pair of balls… (Oh damn.)
Pretending I hadn't understood why I stood alone on one end, I started walking towards the other side.
"Stop right there Missy." said Coach Boomer from somewhere above me. I looked up; he was sitting on that unnaturally tall tennis chair with his clipboard in his hand, smirking as I tried to look confused with all my might.
"You are today's victim sweet-cheek." he said in a mock sweet voice and crossed his legs and leaned back in his chair as to enjoy. He called me sweet-cheek! ICK! Ok, relax Lenore he was kidding! And he made me victim just because I asked ONE question (which I now realise I shouldn't have done)! Ass! He might as well have thrown me to the wolves! If I survive this I'll start going to church every Sunday and curse Coach Boomer and his smackable butt. Than I'LL be the master! HAHAHA! (Ok, no more coffee before watching Lord of the Rings, it has it's affect on yah Lenny…)
"At my whistle! Three, two, one…!" bellowed Coach Boomer and blew his whistle with all his might. I lined up all the curse words I could as a rain of cannonballs hit every inch of me with a loud smack…