A/N: Give me a little slack on this one. It was published on www dot harrypotterfanfiction dot com on April 8, 2005. I was 15. I will be 19 in 10 days, so that was 4 years ago. I like to think I have grown as a writer. I noticed lots of little mistakes so I have corrected them. I have not touched this short fic since October 2005 but I do fully intend to finish it as I have now remembered it, lol. I honestly forgot I ever wrote it. But here you are, and I hope you enjoy it even though I was 4 years younger than I am now when I wrote it. And here's a lil fact for those of you who have read Summer of Secrets and A New Life, April of 2005 was the month and year that I decided to stop cutting. I had been cutting for 8 months at that time. I think the mood of this short fic contrasts a lot with my mood at the time. Tell me what you think if you've read my other two fics.
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling owns the HP universe, not I. I own only the plot. The song belongs to Bowling for Soup.
Almost
Ron Weasley used his wand to unlock the front door to his flat. Once inside, he closed the door and secured the locks. Not bothering to turn the light on, Ron made his way into his bedroom. He stripped of his Quidditch robes, and slipped into a fresh pair of boxers. He fell into bed, exhaustion leading to the sleep he so needed.
I almost got drunk at school at 14
Where I almost made out with the homecoming queen
Who almost went on to be Miss Texas
But lost to a slut with much bigger breastes
I almost dropped out to move to L.A.
Where I was almost famous for almost a day
Ron didn't find peace in his dreams. They confused him, and he tossed and turned in the bed. Pictures from the past flashed through his head.
His best mate, Harry Potter, kidding around with him when he almost got drunk at Hogwarts off of some Firewhiskey in their fourth year. Hermione Granger, their other best mate, had given him quite a lecture after that. Ron remembered when he almost kissed Hermione in their 7th year, when she was Head Girl. That was the last chance he had had to tell her how much she meant to him, but he had blown it.
Now was when the dreams mixed with the past. Ron dreamed there was a Miss Hogwarts pageant, and that Hermione was one of the last two contestants. But she lost to some big-breasted slut, who had slept with practically every guy in Hogwarts; incidentally the girl was Cho Chang.
Then it flashed back to when Ron had almost dropped out in their 7th year, he told Harry and Hermione he was going to move to Chudley and join the Chudley Cannons. Hermione had kept him from going.
And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost loved you
I almost wished you woulda loved me too
Ron woke abruptly, and instantly knew there was no hope for sleep. He flipped on the WWNTV (Wireless Wizarding Network Television), and who would appear on the screen, but Hermione Granger, the Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
"I could have given you everything. I could have lived with you for the rest of my life. I almost had you for the rest of my life. Almost doesn't cut it, Hermione. I almost loved you, hell, I did love you. I almost wish you had loved me too." Ron spoke to the WWNTV. He flicked it off and threw the remote control across the room.
I almost held up a grocery store
Where I almost did 5 years and then 7 more
Cuz I almost got popped for a fight with a thug
Cuz he almost made off with a buncha the drugs
That I almost got hooked on cuz you ran away
And I wished I woulda had the nerve to ask you to stay
Ron finally found sleep again. But the dreams came back. He remembered when he almost got in a fight with Draco Malfoy who had called Hermione a 'filthy Mudblood slut'. Ron would have gotten sent to Azkaban for using the Cruciatus Curse, if Harry hadn't have been there to grab his wand out of his hand.
Ron owed Harry a lot. If Harry hadn't made Ron stop drinking so much Firewhiskey, he would've been hooked to it. Hermione was the source of his problems. She ran off to France for a month. Perhaps things would have been different if he had asked her to stay.
And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost loved you
And I didn't even know it
Hermione never noticed Ron's affections for her. And as much as Harry pleaded with him to tell her, he never did. Ron could never bring himself to tell Hermione he loved her.
You kept me guessin'
And now I'm destined
To spend my time missin' you
I almost wished you woulda loved me too
Ron could never tell if Hermione had loved him or not. Everyone else saw it, but Ron was blind to love. He would never know. Ron would spend his life missing her, and he would never find out that she loved him too.
Here I go thinkin' about all the things I could have done
I'm gonna need a forklift cuz all the baggage weighs a ton
I know we've had our problems.
I can't remember one.
Ron didn't see Hermione much. But he wasn't complaining. He was glad she was away. The pain didn't feel so bad when she was miles away from him. Every time they were together, it felt like the world had been placed on his shoulders. He knew they fought a lot, but he couldn't remember one argument.
I almost forgot to say something else And I almost had you
And if I can't fit it in I'll keep it all to myself
I almost wrote a song about you today
But I tore it all up and then I threw it away
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost loved you
And I didn't even know it
The sun rose into the blue sky, and Ron was already awake. He grumbled as he reread his poem, and then ripped it up. He couldn't tell Hermione he loved her. He had tried, and failed miserably. Ron wanted to have her in his life, to have her constantly by his side. Almost just didn't cut it anymore.
You kept me guessin'
And now I'm destined
To spend my time missin' you
I almost wished you woulda loved me too
I almost wished you woulda loved me too
I almost wished you woulda loved me too
I almost wished you woulda loved me too
All of his chances were gone. Trying again would just bring more heartbreak. If he had to regret it all of his life, it was fine. Hermione doesn't love me anyways, Ron thought with a sigh. He crawled back into bed, knowing he wouldn't fall asleep for a few hours. And when he did find sleep, no dreams came to him.
I almost wished you woulda loved me too