Title: Thursdays.
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist.
Characters: Hughes, Mustang.
Rating: R.
Genre: Humor.
Notes: Being today Tuesday, I should have named the drable accordingly... but my driving lessons were on Thrusdays, and there was nothing nearly as frustrating as having someone, namely your teacher, trying to distract you while you drive. Oh Roy, how I have felt your pain. For jadedsilk, who's a dear, really.
Thursdays.
"We ought to have sex right now."
Following his rather unexpected declaration, Maes Hughes entertained himself by watching his best friend choke on air and sink his feet so hard against the brake, he thought his knee had gone through.
"What?" Wide eyed, the young man turned to his companion wide eyed.
"Hm?" Maes feigned ignorance, "Oh, I said we could go grab something to eat if you take the main street next, I want noodles."
"Noodles," Roy's left eyebrow twitched, as he gripped the wheel tightly.
"Noodles," The larger man grinned, "With red sauce."
"I hate you."
Twenty minutes later, a blissfully cheerful Maes was munching away on noodles while one sourly looking Roy glared down at his own plate. He sighed irritably. It was the same thing, every Thursday. Maes would take him into town, to coach him on his driving skills and test his concentration in the most inane possible ways. At least, Roy thought darkly, he's stop wearing the goddamn glasses. Maes Hughes was a sexy bitch, and he knew it. He looked particularly dashing with the sunglasses, a fact he had used on his first sessions to get a raise out of Roy. But as soon as the dark haired young man had managed to ignore him and his stupid glasses, he had changed tactics. Glaring some more at his food, Roy took a mouthful of noodles, still sulking.
Then he choked on them, turning a bright scarlet as he made a disgruntled sound.
Maes continued to look blissfully unaware of anything but the food before him.
As if his right feet wasn't doing bad things - very bad things - under the table.
"I hate you."
And then, the bastard smiled innocently.
"Really?" He sighed dramatically, "And here I was hoping to teach you a few... tricks."
"Yes well-" Roy snapped his mouth shut and doubled the intensity of his glare, "Stop it."
"You're no fun, Roy."
Around six, the dark haired Alchemist found himself driving back to the Academy, looking more or less triumphant. So far, he had managed to overcome sixteen induendos, two stray hands and an accidental brushing against his leg.
He felt rather proud of himself.
For his part, Hughes looked calculative, trying to figure a way to get a raise out of his companion, then grinned.
"You know," He started lightly, looking at the gates of the Academy with a smug smirk, "I think Archer wants to get into your pants."
The car stopped so abruptly, the tires screeched and everyone turned to look at them. Ghost white, Roy turned to look at him, wide eyed.
"What?"
"That I'll see you next Thrusday Roy, you need to learn how to concentrate," Maes grinned, "And we really ought to have sex sometime."
The Flame Alchemist screamed in frustration as he let his forehead slam against the wheel.
"I fucking hate you!"