A SongFic Trilogy that I had written up about three years ago. I've been wanting to edit these for a while now but I've been too scared to look at them XD Haha.

Uhm, definitely not what some of you are used to when it comes to my writing but I couldn't change everything. I wanted to stick to my original plot from then…not sure it's one of my GREATEST ideas, buuut whatever .

Song is The Hardest Thing by 98Degrees. Enjoy.

The Hardest Thing

He played with the soft golden locks of his lover, listening as the blonds breathing slowed in the throes of sleep. He could feel the weight of the other man's head on his chest, and the guilt eating at his heart when he nudged the other awake and started to speak.

We both know that I shouldn't be here
This is wrong
And baby it's killing me, it's killing you
Both of us trying to be strong

He looked away, unable to meet those eyes. Eyes so blue they could go against the sky and the sea any day. He could feel the blond clench his fists as the sheets shifted, the heat of anger in his cheeks. But still he would not meet the other man's gaze.

I've got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep
Someone else who loves me
And trusts me fast asleep

Sasuke's arm was thrown back roughly, he could feel the anger seeping off the tan body, hear the sadness in his voice.

"Why now? After…after that?!" He chanced a look and saw the naked back of his best friend, his lover, curled over the side of the bed they shared. Hands pulling at the hair he loved to touch.

"Why Sasuke? You know you don't love her!" Before he could look away, Sasuke was caught in the eyes of a thunderous sky.

I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that

Sasuke heard the disbelieving grunt.

"You know that's a whole lot of bull. I thought you wanted…damn it Sasuke!" Sasuke heard the others voice break in anger, sadness, disbelief? So many emotions were coursing through him now, he didn't want to imagine how his blond felt. Sasuke threw himself across the bed before his lover could walk away.

It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry

Sasuke whispered the words into his ear. Knowing in his heart that all of it was true but he knew he had no chance. The man refused to listen, trying his hardest to pull away even as the sobs wracked his body.

I can't let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied and my heart's not free
We're not meant to be

His eyes widened when the blond wrenched free and turned to glare at him.

"Not meant to be?! After all what we've been through? Our parents' dying and you running away? No one heard from you for years Sasuke. They all thought you were dead. But no, I believed, I searched, and I found you." A small smile, not one of happiness or joy, but one of pain and sadness formed on the blonds face.

"Only to be repaid by you marrying that…that woman! Yeah, we all used to be friends. But do friends steal one another's first kiss? Do friends take one another's virginity? Not only that, but do male friends do that to each other?" With each 'friend' the blond got closer, staring Sasuke in the way, daring him to interrupt.

It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you

I know that we'll meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life
I've got to be cruel to be kind

"I don't want to look at you!" The tears finally let loose, and all Sasuke could do was watch as the person he loved, loves, broke right in front of him.

And it was all because of him.

Like Dr. Zhivago
All my love I'll be sending
And you will never know 'cause
There can be no happy ending

When the tears finally let up, Sasuke had already dressed himself and sat back on the bed.

"Sauske, please." He couldn't take it. The way he had said his name, the crack, the think saliva collecting in his mouth from crying too much, the body that tremble so bad it was shaking their bed. Dammit he couldn't do this! Not to his idiot , best friend and his everything. His Naruto.

He pulled Naruto into his arms and kissed him. They have shared many kisses over the years, but this one was special. It was sweet, but rough. Their lips memorizing the way the others felt, the way they tasted. It was a reminder of how everything used to be and a small glimmer of what everything could be.

It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry

Sasuke pulled Naruto into his arms and held him, taking in the man's scent and rubbing his back as the blond once again started to let his pain out.

Maybe another time, another day
As much as I want to, I can't stay

"I don't want 'other times'. Sasuke, I want now and forever. Don't you see that?" And he did, looking into the eyes he had fallen for the first day they met. A smile that could light up a room and a crazy personality to go with it. But he had already made a promise to another in front of people he felt were friends and family.

(Ooh)

Sasuke could feel Naruto slipping away, both his emotions and his body. As Naruto let go of Sasuke, his arms falling slowly to his sides, Sasuke could feel a bit of Naruto closing away from him. Before he knew is Naruto was almost completely detached from his body. It didn't matter to him what promise he made. He may not ever be able to be with Naruto physically again, but he needed to other man mentally, emotionally, else he would go crazy.

Sasuke quickly reached out and took hold of Naruto's hand. It may just be one hand but that touch was worth the heart ache he would have gone through the rest of his life had he not just reached out.

I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that

"Alright Sasuke, I know I can't win this fight." Naruto said. He smiled at Sasuke shyly, just like he had the first time they met. Naruto let Sasuke drag the blond closer to his body but he stopped himself before he fell against the man. He placed his free hand on Sasuke's cheek and grinned.

Sasuke knew he was going to be alright.

"Well, at least not today. I don't give up on my dreams, Uchiha. And you…you're my biggest one. Believe it."

It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry

Sasuke closed the door behind him smiling. As he made his way down the street he stopped and closed his eyes. That fox-like grin was the last thing he thought he would see on a night like this. But it gave him hope. He knew that Naruto would not give up so easily. And somewhere in his heart, he knew he didn't want Naruto to give up on him.

I don't want to live a lie
What can I do

He looked back at the home they had made together Sasuke thought about what his mother had once said.

"Sasuke, you'll always have a home. We all do. It doesn't matter if you're thousands of miles away or up the street. Home is where the heart is, sweetheart. As long as you've got someone precious waiting for you, you'll always have somewhere to call home."

If that's true, mother, I may be away from home for a while. But I've got a feeling it's gonna come knocking.

"Don't give up, Naruto. I've got a feeling we'll be together again."

Holy. SO! THIS HAS BEEN EDITED!
My god how things change over the years. It's definitely not my greatest, but it was way worse. Two more chapters coming up.

Reviews are welcomed :)