Well, my attempt at humor for the time being! I hope you all enjoy!

~*Whatever you do, Don't*~

Hello, all! It is I, the wonderful Yamato Ishida, who, because of my charming nature and wonderful hair, have managed to acquire my own television (or fanfiction!) show!

I will now lead you through some of the worst things that you can do in life. So, welcome to my show, 'whatever you do, don't.'

Spotlight shines

Where shall we start? There are so many things…ah hah! I know!

Never…and I mean never…hold a sharp object over your wrists. Chances are that you friends and family will think that you are trying to commit suicide. Yes. Even if you're just trying to get yesterday's gum off your arm.

There's a quote that goes, "We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another." It's true, people. Completely true! Trust me…I've tried! I've tried to fly! I really have! Except…I ended up in the mud…not the sky. And I can guarantee you…the someone you'll want to grab hold of is someone…or something…with wings. Yes, wings would help.

Now, one of the most important things…when fans start chasing you…run! If not, you'll never escape alive and without a million proposals. Trust me. Once, I didn't run. And it wasn't pretty! I ended up having to promise 314 girls what I would marry them.

When someone says 'don't look back,'…it's a good thing not to look back! Especially in the Digital world…chances are that you'll find something chasing you and end up frozen in place from fear. And then…you end up with a month long visit to the nearest hospital.

Now, I've heard of a quote that goes, 'Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.' Now, when someone says that, believe me…they don't mean physically. Only mentally. For one thing…that trail your trying to make will often lead through a thick forest or some kind of mud pit…and trust me…you don't want to be trying to leave a trail through trees and mud when there's a path. Make a trail mentally, though…just don't try to physically make one.

Now, someone once said to me, 'Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.' What if it keeps happening over and over and over and over and…I think you get the point. And what if that something is really bad…like…I don't know…disappearing into space and falling for all eternity? In that case, you may not want to smile. You may want to keep your mouth shut and not waste air.

"Have the courage to live. Anyone can die." Don't die. Please! Pretty please with a cherry on top? Pleading puppy dog eyes. If you do…It will mean one less Yamato Ishida crazed person!

If it hurts…don't do it again! I am totally serious. Once, I was trying to cook. Key word there. Trying. I reach into the oven. Without an oven mitt. I drop the cake. End up washing the floor. With a burned hand. The next day. Trying to bake again. I figured the pan wasn't hot! I was just re-heating something! I swear…the casserole was only in the oven for, like, one minute. So I figured that the pan wasn't hot. Well, it turned out it was. I ended up washing the floor again. With a burned hand. So if it hurts, do not…I stress…do not do it again!

Dropping a telephone…or Izzy's laptop…in a boiling pot of water…or a cold pot of water…or any type of water…will wreck the phone. And Izzy's laptop. I've tried this one, too…the phone that my dad had bought two days earlier…and Izzy's laptop…which Izzy had lent to me to finish my homework. And really…telephones and laptops cost a lot of money.

Well, now…that's it for today! Oh, and, in case your wondering…my hand is still burned, and I am still paying my weekly allowance towards the phone and laptop.

*sigh* so I was bored. What can I say? I don't really think I'm gonna continue this, unless I get a lot of people who want me to. Please review!

Gatomon_1