Alright, so I haven't wrote in a while…but I've got a lot of things on my mind, and since writing helps me vent, here you go…you get to read my venting-ness :-)
P.s. This is right after Callie yelled at Izzie at the end of the episode.
As Callie brushed past her, Izzie could feel the words seep into her skin. Callie was right; she was a traitorous bitch. Izzie couldn't fathom why she didn't see this earlier. Sure, she may love George, but is love enough? Or do other factors sway love?
Izzie sighed, and stepped into the nearest On-call room. Slowly, she made her way to the edge of the mattress, sitting up straight on the very corner. She didn't deserve to be comfortable, and so she sat up.
How could she do this to another woman? It's easy to ignore the immorality of a situation if you chose to omit it. But really, if women are capable of doing such a horrid thing to another women, what's to say a man cannot hurt a women as well. Women are all women really have in life; its up to each other to ensure that we are never alone. And yet, Izzie forgot this unspoken principal when she slept with a married man.
Of course, Izzie thought, she is not at complete fault. It takes two to tango, and George was her dancing partner in this infidelity crime. But, blaming someone else didn't seem just. Izzie knew that she was a part of the problem, the reason why George and Callie could never work things out. And now, she wonders, will they ever be able to?
George said he'd leave Callie; he had told her numerous times. But then, he says that we're not in this together, and that he is the only one involved in the pending divorce. Izzie sighed again. George was wrong, because he wasn't alone. She was just as much apart of the divorce as he was. Without her consent, George wouldn't have tried to tell Callie about their affair.
Affair. It's such a negative word that they described their short-lived sex life together. The affair was more or less emotional; but does that make it right? Izzie had a headache from all of the thoughts circulating her head. She knew that she and George were wrong, they couldn't work as a couple together. Friends, yes, but never more. She knew it, because she couldn't be with a married man, or an ex-married man. It didn't matter, because either way, their relationship would be a product of sin.
As much as she tried to convince herself that she couldn't be with him, she knew her heart was breaking with every negative thought. She loved George, so much so that it killed her not to take her hands to his face and plant a kiss on his lips everytime she saw him rounding.
And, it was her fault, she felt, that he was still rounding as an intern. Because of her, he was distracted for his intern test. Sure, they were working towards being better friends after their drunken sex, but when she turned cold on him, he didn't understand why, and he was concerned about her. She was cold because Callie told her too, because she didn't want Izzie to be George's friend anymore.
Everything boiled down to Callie. After George's dad died, Callie was the only person, in George's eyes, who loved him. Even though Izzie was there too. She had always been there for him, regardless of love getting into the mix.
That must've been why it was so natural for her to sleep with him. They know each other better than any other person in the world. George knows about her daughter, and Izzie has the ability to say so much without even opening her mouth. They were perfect.
But no! They couldn't, Izzie argued in her head. Because he was married. And because women don't do that to other women.
The on-call room door creaked open. Light shone in so quickly, almost as if a sign of hope. Cautiously, Izzie turned her tear stained face towards the door frame.
"Hey," he said, solemnly.
"Hey," she sighed. "What happened?"
"It's not fair that she will forgive me. If she forgives me, she should forgive you. I did something far more terrible…"
"But you don't understand," she interrupted. "We don't do that. Real people? We don't, because its not right. It's not right to take someone's life and mess with it."
"What are you saying Izzie?" His deep brown eyes bore into hers, confusion quickly filling them.
And how could she answer? She didn't even know what she was saying. But, she gulped, took a deep breath, and found the right words to say.
"I love you, with all my heart and soul. It pains me to see you sad, and it makes me thrilled when I see your smile. I can't imagine this world without you always by my side, even though we've known each other for a fraction of our lives. You are my best friend, and I love you so much. But, you're my best friend who is married. And regardless of what happens between you two, you will always be Mr. and Mrs. O'Malley in my eyes. I love you enough to give you the chance to be the better guy, not the man who tries to leave his wife. You and me, we can live without the lust. All I need from you is everything close enough to love. I need your help, caring, and optimistic attitude. I need the George who always makes me laugh. I need you, George. And that is just something I'm not willing to give up."
George looked at her again, this time with sadness. "But, Iz, I can't—I can't--- I can't go back to Callie. I don't love her. I thought I did, but she doesn't know me. She wasn't there when I was puppy-dog in love with Meredith. She hasn't been in my life at the start. But you were, you were always there. We convinced Meredith to let us stay in her house, remember? We had the house party, without her knowing? I love you, Izzie, please don't—"
"I love you too," She whispered. " I really do." And she arose from the bed, crossed George, and left the room, shutting behind her past and moving towards the light.
Ok , so I know Gizzie fans hate me and all. But, fun fact here: I'm a HUGE Gizzie fan. Like HUGE to the EXTREME. But, when I sae Callie yelling at Izzie last episode, I truly realized how wrong their relationship was. It was unfaithful for George to sleep with Izzie, and it was sad that Izzie could do that to another Women. I love George and Izzie, and I want them to be together, but I thought that people needed to see why they really shouldn't be together, but I really want them together….does that make any sense? Anyhoo, I hope it was good, even if you hate me for pointing out the obvious wrongness of their relationship.
But again, I love George and Izzie… And they have always had awesome chemistry (something noone can deny, people!)
