Pot Trek 2
by Chevara Chan *
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Disclaimer: Guess who Star Trek belongs to?? Chevara Chan?? No way! Santa Claus?? You're getting warmer!! Paramount?? 100 CREDITS TO THE FINE ASIAN GUY IN THE GOLD SHIRT AT THE HELM!! YOU'RE THE GRAND PRIZE WINNER!!! WOO HOO!!! Lol, just a little humor, but nothing like what's to come...
If you don't enjoy reading about everyone's fave starship crew getting high and doing some very risky shit, then don't read this!! You've been warned...by the way, you don't necessarily have to read the original "Pot Trek" to understand this one...as a matter of fact I suggest you shouldn't, it really sucks. Here goes the story...enjoy!
(BTW, flames are used for weenie roasts in the world of Chevara...)
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Chapter 1--Enterprise Stress
Captain's Personal Log
It's been a really hectic week for my crew and I. I thought we were going to have a nice, wonderful, enjoyable shore leave, on the earthlike, tropical planet, Chevara. One of my favorite planets in the galaxy. Beautiful scenery, delicious food, clubs with singing/dancing women so beautiful that even Spock, well...went into an early state of pon farr, to put it gently. But, that's not the point. We were having so much fun, until I noticed some of the men from engineering missing. About ten of them, to be exact. We formed search parties, and looked the whole planet over and over, tearing down doors and windows in our search. We finally found their red shirts and black pants in the corner of the mens bathroom of 'The Brown Paper Package', my favorite Chevaran dance club, and their naked, dead, bloody bodies in the womens bathroom, beside two extremely beautiful, dead, naked Chevaran women. One of them had long, wavy platinum hair and a creamy complexion, and the other had bright red hair and caramel skin. Visions of beauty. Stunning. If they were alive, I would have danced the night away with the two (and maybe I could've gotten some head from them).
After that shock, I decided to cancel shore leave. We boarded the Enterprise and continued on with our mission. Until I found tribbles. Hoards of them. It seemed Lieutenant Uhura sneaked some of the miserable, fuzzy beasts on the ship, and did a repeat of last years travesty. The bridge was filled with them, and there were at least fifty in EVERYONE'S quarters. Even more in mine. And there Uhura was, rambling on about how tribbles were so cute, friendly, loveable, adorable, sweet, blah blah blah, some more of that past shit. So I shoved a tribble in her mouth. She almost choked on it, I wish she would've. That's what she gets for denying me a B.J. in the turbolift. The bitch. If I could've, I would've had her court-martialed for that.
The rest of the tribbles, I ordered Mr. Scott to transport into space. You know, put an end to their life and wicked ways. He refused, saying it was inhumane and we should transport them to the Klingon engine room like we did last time. I didn't give a damn where they went, as long as they disappeared from my ship. As Scotty started with the beaming process, Uhura, the drama princess bitch, busted in the transporter room, screaming and crying. She threw herself on the stack of tribbles on the transporter, and stated that she wouldn't moved until we let her have her tribbles back. It took fifteen security guards to move her, and a hypo to the ass to knock her out cold. McCoy threw her in the sick bay, and we got rid of the tribbles. I was thinking about screwing her in her sleep, but decided to be an idiot and forget about it. Finally, she's back on duty, but the week and been pure stress to all of us. If only we had a solution...
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Captain James T. Kirk pressed a button to end his log tape. He lay down on his bed and sighed. Suddenly, his eyes started to glimmer with ideas.
He hit a button on the wall. "Scotty, report to my quarters immediately!!"
"Aye, aye sir!!" both of the men had urgency in their voices, as Scotty dashed into Kirk's quarters in record time, a good nanosecond later.
"What's a-matter, sir??" Scotty asked.
"Nothing, Mr. Scotty...say, I just wanted to know, do you have any more of those marijuana cigarettes we smoked a couple months ago??" Kirk asked, smiling mischievously.
by Chevara Chan *
-----------------
Disclaimer: Guess who Star Trek belongs to?? Chevara Chan?? No way! Santa Claus?? You're getting warmer!! Paramount?? 100 CREDITS TO THE FINE ASIAN GUY IN THE GOLD SHIRT AT THE HELM!! YOU'RE THE GRAND PRIZE WINNER!!! WOO HOO!!! Lol, just a little humor, but nothing like what's to come...
If you don't enjoy reading about everyone's fave starship crew getting high and doing some very risky shit, then don't read this!! You've been warned...by the way, you don't necessarily have to read the original "Pot Trek" to understand this one...as a matter of fact I suggest you shouldn't, it really sucks. Here goes the story...enjoy!
(BTW, flames are used for weenie roasts in the world of Chevara...)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 1--Enterprise Stress
Captain's Personal Log
It's been a really hectic week for my crew and I. I thought we were going to have a nice, wonderful, enjoyable shore leave, on the earthlike, tropical planet, Chevara. One of my favorite planets in the galaxy. Beautiful scenery, delicious food, clubs with singing/dancing women so beautiful that even Spock, well...went into an early state of pon farr, to put it gently. But, that's not the point. We were having so much fun, until I noticed some of the men from engineering missing. About ten of them, to be exact. We formed search parties, and looked the whole planet over and over, tearing down doors and windows in our search. We finally found their red shirts and black pants in the corner of the mens bathroom of 'The Brown Paper Package', my favorite Chevaran dance club, and their naked, dead, bloody bodies in the womens bathroom, beside two extremely beautiful, dead, naked Chevaran women. One of them had long, wavy platinum hair and a creamy complexion, and the other had bright red hair and caramel skin. Visions of beauty. Stunning. If they were alive, I would have danced the night away with the two (and maybe I could've gotten some head from them).
After that shock, I decided to cancel shore leave. We boarded the Enterprise and continued on with our mission. Until I found tribbles. Hoards of them. It seemed Lieutenant Uhura sneaked some of the miserable, fuzzy beasts on the ship, and did a repeat of last years travesty. The bridge was filled with them, and there were at least fifty in EVERYONE'S quarters. Even more in mine. And there Uhura was, rambling on about how tribbles were so cute, friendly, loveable, adorable, sweet, blah blah blah, some more of that past shit. So I shoved a tribble in her mouth. She almost choked on it, I wish she would've. That's what she gets for denying me a B.J. in the turbolift. The bitch. If I could've, I would've had her court-martialed for that.
The rest of the tribbles, I ordered Mr. Scott to transport into space. You know, put an end to their life and wicked ways. He refused, saying it was inhumane and we should transport them to the Klingon engine room like we did last time. I didn't give a damn where they went, as long as they disappeared from my ship. As Scotty started with the beaming process, Uhura, the drama princess bitch, busted in the transporter room, screaming and crying. She threw herself on the stack of tribbles on the transporter, and stated that she wouldn't moved until we let her have her tribbles back. It took fifteen security guards to move her, and a hypo to the ass to knock her out cold. McCoy threw her in the sick bay, and we got rid of the tribbles. I was thinking about screwing her in her sleep, but decided to be an idiot and forget about it. Finally, she's back on duty, but the week and been pure stress to all of us. If only we had a solution...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Captain James T. Kirk pressed a button to end his log tape. He lay down on his bed and sighed. Suddenly, his eyes started to glimmer with ideas.
He hit a button on the wall. "Scotty, report to my quarters immediately!!"
"Aye, aye sir!!" both of the men had urgency in their voices, as Scotty dashed into Kirk's quarters in record time, a good nanosecond later.
"What's a-matter, sir??" Scotty asked.
"Nothing, Mr. Scotty...say, I just wanted to know, do you have any more of those marijuana cigarettes we smoked a couple months ago??" Kirk asked, smiling mischievously.